Chapter 32
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Translator: penny
Chapter: 32
Chapter Title: Night Guard Duo (2)
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"Sis!"
"Big Whale!"
"Rope..!"
"Dick grab!.. ..?"
"Yeah!"
"..Yeah."
After exchanging a bit of that profoundly idiotic conversation that definitively proved we were both human.
"?"
At Anonymous 1's gesture pointing to the Rulebook, we realized we couldn't go home just yet.
For now, in order to memorize the survival rules of this place, we started reading the lower part of the Rulebook that we'd been looking at earlier.
These are the basic duty rules that guards must follow.
1. Night guards must operate in pairs of two. Never go alone.
2. Duty hours are 20:10 ~ 08:10. Be careful not to be late.
3. Patrol the apartment grounds once every hour on the hour. No calls will come in while night guards are on patrol.
4. The intercom in the guard room will occasionally receive calls from residents. Check the room number of the call and head there, or respond according to the manual.
5. When a call comes in and you head to the room, you may choose your method freely. However, if you take the elevator, maintain silence.
6. Once your shift is over, enter the room behind the guard booth and rest.
7. Meals consist of beans from the jar. If you want other food, you may hunt and procure it.
The following are responses to calls.
1st Floor
101 - Close the open front door. Do not check inside the apartment under any circumstances.
102 - Vacant unit.
103 - Answer the intercom receiver. When the resident's questions seem finished, reply "Sky, baby, horse." The resident will be satisfied.
2nd Floor
201 - Walk to 201 via the emergency exit. That's it.
202 - Ignore it.
203 - Answer the intercom receiver. Wait until the crying child's sobs stop.
This apartment has no 3rd floor. If you discover a 3rd floor while ascending the emergency stairs, backtrack to the apartment entrance.
4th Floor
401 - Resident unhappy with non-functional elevator. Go straight to the apartment elevator and press the button once.
402 - No call history.
403 - Vacant unit.
5th Floor
501 - Bring the cat food bowl from the guard room and place it in front of 501's door.
502 - Head to 502; a trash bag will be in front of the door. Dispose of it in the large trash bin at the apartment entrance. Do not look inside the bag.
503 - No call history.
6th Floor
601 - From the moment the call comes, 601's door will be open. Enter and open the closed room door inside. Do not look at the ceiling during this.
602 - Vacant unit.
603 - Hang up the receiver immediately. Then, with the management office door locked, do not look out the window for 10 minutes. No matter what sounds come from outside, do not look.
7th Floor
The 7th floor is entirely vacant. All residents who entered have gone missing. No night guards have been harmed after visiting the 7th floor so far, but exercise caution if you must go there.
8th Floor
801 - Knock on 803's door three times.
802 - Vacant unit.
803 - Vacant unit.
9th Floor
901 - Vacant unit.
902 - Resident complaining about noise. When they finish speaking, reply "We will take care of it." No adjacent units exist, so no actual action is needed.
903 - Vacant unit.
10th Floor
1001 - Answer the receiver, then leave the resident to commit suicide. If they jump and land in the courtyard, dispose of the body in the food waste bin.
1002 - Vacant unit.
1003 - No call history.
These are all the rules we've discovered. New rulebook entries are hidden throughout the apartment. If you find new rules, add them to this paper immediately. We hope you survive as long as possible.
Other night guards on duty...
'..What is this, some game walkthrough? So much to keep track of..?'
As the things I had to watch out for piled up, annoyance started to outweigh the fear.
No matter how life-or-death the situation was...
I couldn't possibly memorize this massive Rulebook and respond to everything perfectly, right?
'..How the hell do we escape?'
There was no info on how to escape this horror story.
No way to clear it.
We just had to keeping this place like some endless infinite mode in a game, and that realization was starting to piss me off a bit when...
"Big Whale."
"?"
Anonymous 1, who'd handed me the guard uniform, gestured for me to hurry and put it on, then pointed at the clock. Checking the time...
'..8:03..'
I could sense that night guard duty was about to start soon.
'..Guess we have to do it.'
I quickly started donning the guard uniform.
'Good thing the size is roomy.'
Relieved that the oversized guard uniform fit over my protective gear, once I was fully dressed...
"..Big Whale."
"?"
"Duty."
"..Ah."
And so, we began our first shift as a night guard duo.
'..Do we have to talk like this even when it's just us?'
As the shift kicked off, I glanced up at Anonymous 1, who was peering out the guard room window to scout the surroundings.
'The Rulebook clearly said... since the partner guard might not be human, avoid normal language..'
The man in guard clothes beside me was definitely human.
A person who'd ended up here like me.
A clear human showing the will to clear this place somehow.
Knowing that, I started wondering if we really had to keep up this awkward communication.
"..Hey."
"?"
"..When it's just us two, maybe talk normally-"
The moment I started to suggest we talk normally when alone...
Bang-
"!!"
"!!"
The guard booth door suddenly flew open, and...
"..."
"..."
Two shadowy figures in guard uniforms entered...
"Today clock rice? Lava brick cloud moon calendar done?"
"Curtain fluff's corpse trash can."
We watched them exchange what seemed like natural human Q&A.
But...
"Paper needle is whale tea."
"Table screw fog's maple bell case."
Their actual conversation was just chilling, meaningless gibberish.
"..?"
As the two suddenly turned to stare at us after their exchange, both Anonymous 1 and I froze awkwardly.
'We.. have to reply, right..?'
They looked like they expected a response from us.
"..Sandpaper ass wipe."
"? Big Whale..?"
"Perfume eyedrops squirt..!"
"..Wow."
After tossing out a couple of random nonsense replies...
"Smell and drawer climb."
"Shoe wire smoke and!"
The pair ended the chat looking satisfied and walked off somewhere.
'Fuck.. ..scary..'
A few words of talk made it crystal clear.
Those guys were absolutely not human.
So...
"..Talk, awkward.. choppy.. okay..?"
"Big Whale.. opinion, perfect. Confirmed.. ..But perfume eyedrops squirt??
"Not important."
"Fucking wild."
We agreed to stick to word-based talk as much as possible and began our first day as night guard duo.
"Layout scan. Escape hope."
"Observe together."
As if used to this, I followed Anonymous 1's lead as he naturally started mapping the apartment layout. I began surveying the area too.
In about 50 minutes, we'd have to patrol the whole apartment once.
Best to familiarize ourselves with the terrain ahead of time.
'..More guards than I thought.'
I didn't know how many were actually human, but at a glance, there were about six pairs...
'Human?'
Doubting my eyes, I quickly reread the Rulebook.
If you can read this, please read to the end.
We know you're confused because your Status Window isn't opening. We're in the same boat, so we're sharing info this way.
The Rulebook definitely said that.
'Status Window not opening is the same situation..?'
They didn't have theirs either.
Which meant...
There were other Status Window users here besides me and Anonymous 1.
"..Sis."
"?"
"Humans.. exist.."
"What?.. ..Ah?"
When I relayed that some of the guards we saw might be human...
"..."
Anonymous 1 fell deep into thought...
"Female?!"
He smacked my forehead with that response.
"..Dude, in a situation like this, you're horny for a girl right now?"
"Big Whale..! Joke, chill. Language..!"
"Whoa.. what. What.. whoa.. ..Let's just figure out how to escape this place.."
"..We switching to normal talk now?"
"The Rulebook says monsters learn from us listening. Since learning happens from our talk, I think it's fine to speak normally when it's just us."
"Yeah, those guys earlier prove we just gotta watch it around types like them."
With that, we concluded to talk freely when alone.
Beep-
A sudden electronic beep made us jump and check the source.
There...
"Guess that's a call."
"Looks like it."
"..Let's go."
"Yeah. Whew.. alright. Wait, lemme check if we got everything we need."
"Need?"
A receiver displaying "201" sat there.
"Yeah, camera.. got it, awl.. good."
"..Oh. ..Gonna kill?"
"Ring.. too. Just in case."
"..Dude, if shit hits the fan, we run, not fight, Big Whale.."
"All set. Let's go."
"But what if the monster's really hot?"
"..What do you mean 'what if'? It's still a monster."
"Tch.."
"..Why do you sound disappointed?"
"Nothing. Hurry up."
"..Yeah."
I was starting to seriously question if Anonymous 1 was really human.
"I think the same about you."
"Huh?"
"Guys who get horny for monsters, or ones who wanna fight them head-on instead of running—neither's normal."
"..Aha."
What was this?
If you can't avoid it, enjoy it...
Anonymous 1 had gone from enjoying the unavoidable to getting turned on by it.
And me, facing the unavoidable, now wanting to hunt the monsters.
Hmm...
..Both problem children-