The Forest of Four Seasons (Part 4)

My mind was a total blank.

Mostly because I had zero thoughts left to think.

Ever since trudging back to the cave, I had done nothing but stare blankly into empty space. My current predicament was simply too absurd to process. I prayed with every fiber of my being that this was all just a nightmare.

Yet no matter how much time passed, nothing changed. This godforsaken hellhole was the Forest of the Four Seasons, and here I was, wide awake right in the middle of it.

Keeping my sanity intact was an impossible task. Consequently, I spent the entire day plastering despair-ridden shitposts all over the Gallery.

One dedicated user had even taken the time to log my mental collapse into a chronological timeline. Reading through it, an involuntary chuckle escaped my lips.

Truth be told, I was already drifting toward the acceptance stage anyway. Sitting here feeling sorry for myself wouldn't change a single damn thing. I had no idea why the universe decided I needed to suffer like this, but running away from reality forever wasn't an option.

It's not like there's zero chance of finding a way out…… right? Surely there has to be one.

The forum users had made it painfully clear: the entirety of the Forest of the Four Seasons was blanketed in layered barriers. Pierce through one, and another immediately blocked your path; breach that one, and the original barrier would reconstruct itself under an entirely different pattern. This applied not only to the land, but to the sky and subterranean depths as well. It was the sole reason no one who stepped inside ever managed to walk back out.

First, I need to figure out the perimeter of my immediate surroundings.

Just in case I had to settle here long-term, thoroughly scouting the neighborhood was paramount. Getting lost when my cave was practically right in front of me would be the ultimate tragicomedy. The terrifying part was that such absurdities happened all too often. I had to stay sharp.

Let's start with the river. I need to check if the water is actually potable.

My mental breakdown yesterday had kept me from checking. I'd been too busy wallowing in self-pity to care. Natural forest water was generally fine to drink, but what I really needed to know was what kind of abominations inhabited it. In a place crawling with anaconda-sized serpents and house-sized bears, expecting the water's edge to be safe was wishful thinking. Finding man-eating fish wouldn't surprise me in the slightest. I could easily lose my life taking a simple sip.

If the water's clean and safe, making this cave my permanent shelter becomes completely viable.

Two days had elapsed, and aside from the Mad Dogs who originally owned the place, nothing had intruded. An Owlbear had roamed nearby earlier, but I had swiftly slipped away, so that didn't count. More importantly, the cavern entrance offered an excellent defensive bottleneck, making it an ideal long-term base.

Should I just hole up and survive on Inedia Pills for now?

That gave me pause. After deliberating for a few moments, I pushed myself off the ground. For now, the river was priority number one. I could ponder my lifestyle choices once I returned—or perhaps hold a poll on the Gallery. Naturally, I'd restrict the voting to Fixed Nicks only. Anonymous lurkers were overwhelmingly dismissive trolls whose favorite response was "not my problem, who cares?" Relying on them wasn't tapping into collective intelligence; it was diving headfirst into collective idiocy.

Whoosh—

"Whoa. What in the world is this?"

The second I reached the stream I'd scouted yesterday, a gasp broke past my lips. Had a vicious predator shown up? No. Was there a school of man-eating piranhas? Not that either. It was the panoramic view sprawling beyond the opposite bank. Just yesterday, that exact expanse had been a scorched, arid desert.

Now they were practically rubber-stamping my doom. I barked out a wry laugh.

The far side of the brook, an unforgiving wasteland of sand only yesterday, had transformed into a towering mountain range blanketed in pristine white snow. I briefly wondered if I'd wandered to the wrong location, but that made no logical sense. A snowy mountain nestled right against an arid desert? What was more, the boundary was impossibly precise. It wasn't a gradual transition of climate; the entire biome abruptly severed right along the water's edge.

Is someone playing a cruel joke on me?

Exhaling a weary breath, I stepped closer to the stream. Schools of minnows darted through the currents, suggesting the water quality was clean and untainted. A stroke of luck in an ocean of misfortune. I resolved to bring the waterskin gifted by the Heavenly Demon next time.

Even so, caution came first. I needed to gauge the depth.

Splash—

The moment my hand broke the surface, confusion superseded the crisp chill. For a second, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. My arm went deeper, and deeper still, yet my fingers never brushed the riverbed. The water was so unnaturally crystal clear that it looked shallow, masking a tremendous depth.

Well, this should be plenty.

It wasn't an abyss; one could still cross if determined enough. Of course, with a freezing blizzard howling across the opposite bank, attempting a crossing was out of the question unless I had a burning desire to freeze to death.

"Croak."

"Hm?"

Just as I withdrew my dripping arm, an odd noise pricked my ears. It sounded right beside me, meaning whatever made it was perilously close. I jerked my head toward the sound.

"Croak."

"……A frog?"

A frog, perched right atop a boulder jutting from the center of the current. But this wasn't an ordinary amphibian; it gleamed with a brilliant, lustrous coat of solid gold. Aside from its bizarre appearance, that dazzling golden sheen set off immediate alarm bells in my head. In nature, creatures flaunting such violently vibrant colors almost universally packed lethal poison.

Putting distance between us was the smartest play. Whatever happened, I had to avoid venom at all costs. Besides, the thing was the size of a small terrier, making it downright repulsive to look at.

"Krrr-aaack!"

"Whoa, what the?!"

The moment I took a step back, the golden frog acted. Rearing up on two elongated hind legs, it threw its head all the way back. It produced a deep, guttural sound eerily reminiscent of a grown man hawking up a thick ball of phlegm, before snapping its head violently forward.

"Ptooey!!"

Fwip!

A glob of viscous fluid discharged from the frog's maw, whistling through the air like a high-caliber bullet aimed dead at my face. Heart leaping into my throat, I threw myself sideways. The thick golden sludge grazed past my cheek by mere millimeters.

A split second later, the projectile struck the trunk of a broad tree behind me.

Ssssszzzzzzzt!!

"Holy shit."

My jaw dropped as the wood sizzled and dissolved into frothing green slush before my eyes. Acid? It wasn't just lethal poison—it was concentrated corrosive acid!

There was no time to marvel. The golden monster was already tilting its head back, cocking another shot. Getting out of range took precedence over everything else. Before it could spit again, I spun on my heel and bolted.

"Ptooey!"

"Guh!"

A second shot whistled past, barely missing me. If I hadn't ducked my head mid-stride, the back of my skull would have melted off. Fortunately, the creature didn't give chase; it seemed to regard the river as its exclusive territory.

"Hah…… hah……"

I collapsed inside the cavern after running for dear life, gasping for air. What had I done to deserve this constant torment? I had finally located clean water, only to be forced to walk on eggshells around an overgrown frog. It was utterly absurd.

The water's too deep to wade across and fight it hand-to-hand……

Having a bow would have solved the problem, but I didn't own one, nor did I possess the skill to loose an arrow accurately. The damn thing hadn't been there yesterday. Did it only appear because I dipped my hand into the water today? Knowing whether I could safely fetch drinking water was suddenly up in the air. In the worst-case scenario, that vile toad might spit its acid directly into the stream, poisoning the entire source.

Amid the barrage of useless comments, a prominent Fixed Nick chimed in. It was Allfather.

Allfather rarely left comments, disappearing for days after dropping a single observation, and his own posts were practically nonexistent. On the rare occasions he did post, the topics revolved entirely around esoteric magic or advanced alchemy. I usually scrolled past them because they were dense with complex technical jargon. He felt like an eccentric university professor, always writing in polished, polite honorifics, which naturally compelled me to respond politely in kind.

This world never ceased to amaze me. A frog spitting venom so concentrated it melted wood like sulfuric acid? On top of that, the river served as its impregnable natural fortress. Fighting it was like charging an archer stationed atop a fortified rampart.

I can forfeit a lot of things, but securing safe drinking water is non-negotiable……

If I kept showing my face near the water, the beast might start camping the bank waiting for me, which would be disastrous. While I weighed my bleak options, the notification chime rang out continuously. Lately, every thread I created attracted a small horde of commenters.

There was no foolproof walkthrough for this trial. In the end, solving it fell squarely on my shoulders. Taking down this golden monster was a mandatory gateway to securing a steady water supply, which meant I had to prepare thoroughly.

Before anything else, I should return the borrowed compasses.

Aside from the compass gifted by the Heavenly Demon, I planned to return the rest to their rightful owners. I posted an announcement to let everyone know, then initiated the trade requests five minutes later.

My first request went to the Fixed Nick user named Starlight Princess. As if she spent her entire day tethered to the Gallery, she accepted almost instantly.

It appeared she was genuinely afflicted with some severe illness. Her heart was gentle and kind.

Next up was Praise the Sun, the user heavily presumed to be a Dark Elf.

His nonchalance was bordering on embarrassing. Even so, since he had extended a helping hand, repaying the favor was basic human decency. When I mentioned that I would return the kindness whenever I scavenged something valuable, an unexpected reply flashed across the screen.

In standard fantasy lore, Dark Elves were the antithesis of regular Elves. Same evolutionary roots, entirely opposing dispositions. Unlike their peace-loving forest kin, Dark Elves weren't above employing ruthless, underhanded tactics, though they rarely crossed moral lines into wanton slaughter. Their ideology was closer to "cultivating undeniable power to safeguard peace," which often left them somewhat lacking in social ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠graces.

Of course, that was merely my preconceived notion from Earth pop culture. Superimposing my homeworld's logic onto this reality was a terrible idea. After all, the standard Elves here were far from peaceful saints, having plunged deep into imperialistic conquest.

Whether he believed me or not was irrelevant. Trapped in the depths of an inescapable barrier, my planetary origin held no practical weight. Praise the Sun seemed to arrive at the same conclusion, brushing the subject aside with easy banter.

So they occupied a social standing similar to Black people back on Earth. Generally cheerful, charismatic, and chill, yet absolutely terrifying if you crossed the racial line. Given that racial prejudice in this world crossed entire species divides, walking on eggshells was only smart.

I should read up on that later.

Anonymous or not, flinging racial slurs wasn't in my nature anyway. More to the point, I desperately needed to build good rapport with powerful benefactors; turning myself into a pariah would only shoot my own foot.

Was this forum secretly packed with saints? Or were the Fixed Nicks just uniquely generous?

I closed the private channel with Praise the Sun and immediately inspected the transferred cargo.

"……?"

A stunned silence filled the cave. The object sitting on the ground gleamed with an eye-searing, ostentatious brilliance. It possessed the rough silhouette of a heater shield, yet its entire outer face was cast in thick, solid gold.

A literal Golden Shield. Just how absurdly wealthy did someone have to be to throw something like this away as pocket change?

……Will this actually hold up in combat?

I inspected the lustrous golden surface from various angles before strapping it onto my left forearm. It felt surprisingly light and well-balanced, though testing its structural durability felt mandatory before staking my life on it. Naturally, I had no intentions of hacking it with the Heavenly Demon's Sword; ruining a masterwork shield on day one would ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠be sheer idiocy.

Next is Princess Chaeng-gu, right?

Her handle was quite peculiar. At a glance, it looked like a woman's username. But considering that roughly ninety percent of the regulars in this community were lunatics, predicting what kind of person lurked behind the screen was impossible.

Her response was almost identical to Praise the Sun's. She had zero desire to reclaim the compass. For a moment, I wondered once more if every Fixed Nick was a saint, but upon reflection, it made sense. These were the very individuals who had readily offered compasses the instant an unknown stranger cried for help. Building solid ties with them was paramount.

I had gathered that competitive athletic spectacles existed in this realm, but the specific rules and formats remained a mystery. In a fractured cosmos inhabited by hundreds of fantastical races, sports were bound to look radically different from what I remembered.

It was true, but hearing it spoken with such unfiltered cheerfulness stung. How had my life devolved to this pathetic state?

Just as a wave of melancholy began to wash over me, a trade prompt chimed.

My reaction was somewhat lukewarm, but practical gratitude quickly took over. I happened to be in desperate need of fresh clothes. While I could purchase soap with gold to wash my filthy attire, I had nothing to wear while waiting for the wet garments to dry by the fire. The necessity for spare clothing would only climb as time dragged on.

"……"

Why did this complete stranger reek of something so intimately familiar? I couldn't help but chuckle. The toxic tribalism of football fandom truly transcended dimensional boundaries.

Princess Chaeng-gu closed the channel after promising to upload a highlight reel that would soothe my weary soul. Once the interface faded, I unpacked the clothes she had delivered. They were athletic jerseys with foreign lettering boldly stitched across the back.

I can't read this script at all.

Sadly, I couldn't decipher the names. I vaguely recalled someone mentioning that the Gallery featured an automatic cognitive translation function for standard text, but exotic embroidery seemed exempt. On the other hand, the crest emblazoned across the chest looked remarkably stylish. Just as she'd boasted, it carried an aura of deep, historical pedigree.

Beyond the aesthetic, the harmonious blend of navy and white gave it a sleek, polished look. It wasn't the ideal camouflage for surviving in an untamed wilderness, but beggars couldn't be choosers. Having clean clothes to wear was a massive upgrade.

The material is seriously impressive.

The weave possessed incredible elasticity and breathability. It felt like it could withstand jagged branches and briars without fraying. In many ways, it would serve as fantastic light armor.

A broad smile crept onto my face. I opened the Gallery feed to leave a word of thanks under the thread Princess Chaeng-gu had mentioned.

I tapped on the post without hesitation.

"Wait, what?"

The moment the crystalline projection hummed to life, my eyes went wide as saucers.

This…… isn't this literally association football?

Why on earth did soccer exist in another dimension?

Hold on. Does that mean baseball exists here too?

Was that why unhinged sports hooligans occasionally infested the forum threads?