Is This Happiness?
Is this what happiness feels like?
Out of all the moments you've lived through, when was the happiest?
Back in my childhood, a guest lecturer came to our school on an invitation.
She began her talk with a sign that read, “What is happiness?”
If you asked me now, I’d probably list every precious memory I’ve ever had.
The secret Christmas gift of that toy I’d wanted so badly.
The perfect vacation spot we finally got to visit together.
The day my final acceptance letter arrived for the university I dreamed of.
Or the night my favorite sports team won their championship after years of struggle.
Or the moment I finally confessed my feelings to the crush I’d been carrying in secret.
Or simply reaching the tier I’d been grinding for in the game.
Even if none of those, maybe the simple dinner after a long day—roast pork belly and soju, just the two of us, laughing over empty plates—that could be happiness too.
The lecturer swept her gaze across the students crammed together on the chairs, then locked onto me.
“Student, when was the happiest moment in your life?”
I sat there without a second thought.
I stood up on impulse, grabbed the microphone that was being passed around, and answered.
Every pair of eyes in the room was on me.
I spoke plainly.
Quietly, almost listlessly.
Yet with absolute calm.
“I’ve never had a single moment like that in my entire life.”
But what if, right now…
If I were asked the same question today?
I’d answer differently.
“Right now is the happiest moment of my life.”
It’s the exact second I receive a 1v1 challenge in Celt of Heroes.
That heartbeat of excitement I can’t control.
Too happy, my heart feels like it might explode.
That this world actually has a place for real happiness.
That I can finally believe it.
Definitely, that’s what I’d say.
---
[Comment] Title: Assassin 1v1 Screenshot Bingo
{Nickname: GreenMoss}
— Oh, damn.
— Haha, look at the assassin win rate, 78%?
— That’s gotta push him to Challenger fast.
[Furball Slayer] - qwer1234 qwer1234
— [Furball Slayer] - Since you’re a Master, I’ll give you 2 adv.
— [Furball Slayer] - Good luck.
— One skill learned...
— Haha, Master’s only shaved off half a percent?
— Come at me, you bastard.
— Wow, Lulu’s that strong? Did they nerf him so hard he became a total idiot?
— Assassin - If Seine sees your position, it’s obvious what you’ll do. Lulu’s parry blocks everything, so in theory it’s hard. But the parry judgment on the spin is trash, and one mistake and you’re dead. Usually Seine wins.
— The Furball Slayer is just too good at Lulu. Originally the Assassin got wrecked.
— Damn… it’s ridiculous...
---
[My Apartment] Title: Is This How I Submit a 1v1?
{Nickname: MamaSpends5000Won}
— The gallery has more Masters than I thought. I’ve seen 12 already today.
— Weren’t our Celt of Heroes gamers supposed to be loud, rough, loud-mouthed guys? I feel betrayed...
— Real… suddenly super lonely.
— The gamer who skipped mom’s ribs all night playing Celt of Heroes. Is a Master even that big of a deal?
— No [My Apartment] You fucking bastards
[Furball Slayer] - qwer1234 qwer1234
— [Furball Slayer] - Since you’re a Master, I’ll give you 3 adv.
— [Furball Slayer] - Good luck.
— [My Apartment] Fuck.
— Haha, even with adv you got wrecked, faggot.
— [My Apartment] - What the fuck is this? I really lost to Silver? Impossible?
My life has always been that deep gray shade.
Ever since I was born, and it still is right now.
Where did it all go wrong…?
Probably from the very first cell.
That X chromosome I should have received from my father ended up breaking and turning into a Y instead.
Truly cursed to be born male.
That must have been my original sin.
I never had a real friend in my life.
Never even talked to anyone properly.
It was obvious, really.
To everyone else I was just a completely alien monster.
They pointed fingers and whispered behind my back.
No one ever looked me in the eye.
— Is he really a guy?
— Why does he dress like that?
— Gross.
— Disgusting.
— Does he even think he’s a girl?
My evaluation from them was always the same.
We were completely different species.
Just like a crab and a lobster aren’t the same family.
Just like a whale shark isn’t a whale.
Just like ants and termites.
I wore the name “Ha Yunseo,” the girl, but I was clearly a boy.
At first glance we looked the same, but underneath I was an entirely different life form.
At least in their eyes.
Of course I never wanted to be that monster.
I just wanted to rip off that disgusting shell every single second.
But—
“I never want to wear these clothes again.”
No matter how loudly I screamed, all I got back were cold, eerie stares.
I had no choice but to accept the chilling pressure.
Even if it was forced, not chosen, the appearance didn’t matter to anyone else.
So I was completely isolated from the world.
…What if that dead woman who hated men saw my new beautiful face right now…?
Would she be…happy?
— Maybe… she would.
Anyway, in that dull world I found one single ray of light.
During high school, purely out of curiosity, I walked into a VR room and first tried Celt of Heroes.
The kind, older female part-time worker who taught me how to put on the headset.
And that very day—
One-on-One.
A personal duel between two individuals.
The kind of battle where one mistake decides everything, no second chance for men.
Read every move of the opponent, counter it perfectly, and strike the finishing blow.
100% pure individual skill, no outside help.
I fell completely in love with those 1v1 battles.
It wasn’t just a little crush.
1v1 is like the mischievous hand games of a cousin I saw once during a holiday—same story as that young boy who built invisible walls around himself.
The older worker’s overwhelming 1v1 mastery and my defiant challenge to it turned me into who I am today.
At the very start of a 1v1, my heart starts pounding.
The moment I win a 1v1, even I feel forgiven for existing.
That crushing, stomping thrill lets me stand in this world.
For those few seconds I feel the same joy as discovering a tiny light in absolute darkness.
That was the only happiness I had in this boring, meaningless, empty life.
That’s why I can never stop playing 1v1.
I have to play 1v1.
To keep living.
To keep convincing myself that I exist.
---
[Comment] Title: Real-Time Furball Slayer Head Count Tier List
{Pl 10
Dia 24
Master 14
GM 7
The most surprising part is that even though they’re Master, they still handed adv to higher tiers like GM and still won with a huge stamina difference.
It’s insanely impressive just watching.
}
— Why are Pl and Dia only “heads”?
— Then Pl being people is the same thing?
— Pl is pretty good for normal people...
— No? In Celt of Heroes where even Silver is Master, Pl is literally trash?
— Hmm, maybe.
— As expected, pure power in Celt of Heroes.
— I knew they were good, but I didn’t realize it was that good...
— Real, I just thought they were idiots and ignored them.
— Looks a little like a hidden power gamer. Smiles like a fool normally, then suddenly sharp when protecting something (even GM with adv). I feel some kinship. Probably my personality is similar.
— ?
— Ah shit.
— What template is this?
— Smells like body odor, like someone dumped a diffuser.
— Why can’t this physique reach Challenger?
— T Rex.
— If you meet them in solo lane they’ll just pick Assassin in dungeons and just farm solo lane until they die, no way to gank.
— They don’t know anything about the game, it’s just their body talking.
— Even being Master with this physique is crazy...
---