The Obsessive Stalker Girl (Kang Sena)
"Teemo, fighting!"
I mustered every scrap of courage I had and laid on the cutest flirt I could manage.
"Yeah. You've got a promo series too, so give it your all."
What the hell? Is this guy an angel? He actually played along with my flirting.
Fuck. Handsome guys who are also nice don't exist. Good-looking bastards are usually stuck-up as hell, like Persian cats. He's got to be some fat, acne-scarred shut-in. Of course he is. What else would you expect from a guy spending a golden Saturday grinding ROL?
If he even had a halfway decent face, girls with itchy pussies would be lining up for a date. Still, having one actual guy in the lobby instead of nothing but pussies made the game way more fun. The other girls seemed to feel the same — they were locked in, hyper-focused.
The match was going well. Surprisingly, Teemo was farming CS like a machine. The CS gap between him and Garen was massive. Fuck, pure basement-dwelling shut-in energy. If a handsome guy was also good at ROL, he'd be every woman's ideal type. A man that perfect couldn't possibly exist in this world.
Teemo took down top-lane Garen. Holy shit, that was clean. Is he actually Diamond?
Women might not have much else, but when it comes to gaming pride, they have plenty. If the enemy Garen found out Teemo was a guy, her ego would take a brutal scratch. My mouth was itching to say it. Should I drop it in all chat?
No. That'd make Garen's blood shoot straight to her head — suicide angle for sure. Fuck, I just saved one pussy's life today.
Our team's pussies were going full meltdown trying to get on Teemo's good side.
You fucking bitches — acting like that won't make Teemo stick his dick in any of you. Still, just in case he might, I threw out another flirt.
"Teemo~ Nice shot!"
Fuck. I poured on every ounce of aegyo I had in me. Even I got goosebumps hearing my own voice.
Huh? This time I got iced. What, this guy's playing it cool? Wait — does he actually look decent?
Nah. No way.
Teemo had my heart bouncing up and down. Was he playing hard to get with me? I sank into my own little fantasy.
That psycho Garen bitch dared talk to our precious little Teemo like that. Before I knew it, I was fully emotionally invested. The other pussies on our team must've felt the same, because they all opened fire with a barrage of dual curses on the enemy Garen.
Crazy bitches. No matter how dick-starved you are, did you all shove rags in your mouths? The cock-worship is unreal. Being born with a dick really is a rank of nobility. Fuck, that aside — if I just sit here spacing out, some other bitch is going to snatch Teemo. Should I drop some heavy dual curses too?
No. Dad always said men hate women with filthy mouths. I'll play the demure one.
Listen up, bitches. Teemo is mine.
I started fantasizing about fucking a Teemo whose face I'd never even seen. Finally, the teamfight in front of the dragon!
— Boom. Boom. Boom!
Teemo planted his mushrooms perfectly. The enemy team stepped on them, got completely shredded, and got force-recalled to the Nexus before the fight even started. This bastard knows how to plant mushrooms. Wonder if he knows how to plant his dick too?
Teemo used a taunt.
Damn, Teemo. That taunt is lethal. Even on the same team I wanted to tear him apart out of spite — the enemy team must be losing their minds.
Garen went nuclear. She overplayed her hand.
Idiot. "Coming online late," my ass. This is the same bitch charging in blind after eating Teemo's blind shot. And sure enough — Garen's reckless taunt sent the enemy team into a full mental collapse.
They say if you just keep your mouth shut you at least end up in the middle. Old sayings never miss.
And a moment later—
⚠ An enemy summoner has disconnected.
The moment mid Veigar started throwing to top, Garen rage-quit.
⚠ An enemy summoner has disconnected.
The enemy jungle Zac bolted too.
The Nexus has been destroyed!
The second Garen and Zac disconnected, the enemy team surrendered. Finally — promotion to Gold! I was as happy as the day I landed the job at Ssamssong. Fuck! This is all thanks to Teemo.
"Teemo, I got promoted because of you. Let me buy you a meal at least. I'm in Jamsil too."
I finally had a legitimate excuse to flirt. Even if Teemo turned out to be a face-ruined pig, I didn't care. We could be ROL friends. A male best friend — the kind that only exists on TV. I wanted one of those too! Get a few drinks in, let the mood do the work, and who knows — maybe he'd put out once.
Teemo didn't answer. I checked the chat — he'd already left. A sigh slipped out. I'd been having solo fantasy sex this whole time. Fuck. Of course. Once again, I was the only one who was serious.
I stared blankly at the game screen Teemo had abandoned. Jieun held out her hand.
"Sena, gimme a lighter. Gonna go smoke one."
"You bitch, you're a chain smoker and you don't even carry a lighter?"
"You psycho, why are you snapping at me? You on your period? Ahh~ so that's why your mouth smells like pussy squid."
"You got a rag in your mouth? Everything you say is filthy."
I handed Jieun the lighter and stood up.
"Where are you going?"
"Bathroom. I've been holding it in all game — I'm about to piss my panties. Hey, use the lighter carefully and bring it right back."
"Ugh, for real. Petty bitch. Making a big deal over one lighter."
"Hey, you know me. Once I fixate on something, I see it through to the end. That lighter is something I've fixated on."
"Ugh, no wonder people call you a psycho. I'll bring it back nice and safe, so go take your meds already, patient."
She wasn't wrong. I had obsessive-compulsive disorder. Once something hooked me, I couldn't sleep — it was all I could think about.
When Jieun headed for the smoking room, I walked toward the bathroom. No matter how urgent it was, a bee doesn't fly past a flower without looking. Seat 77 happened to be close to the bathroom. I could sneak a natural peek.
Huh? Seat 77 was empty. I was curious. What does a guy that handsome even do at a PC bang? If I got lucky, maybe I could snag his Instagram.
On my way to the bathroom I deliberately passed seat 77. The monitor was visible. What the hell? An ROL screen was up. A certified hot guy plays ROL at a PC bang? Is he a newbie?
I whipped out my phone. I had to write down the ID before 77 came back. Then I'd add him as a friend like I had no idea who he was. The ROL ID came into view. So the ID was…
Iama……
IAmAPussyGuard!????
No way. Oh my god. Jesus Christ!!!!!!!!
That absolute snack was Teemo? This is a connection heaven itself handed me. If I let this slip, the god who set it up would slap me upside the head. Kang Sena was properly hooked on Teemo.
No time. Brain, spin. Brain, work!
I frantically scanned the room — Teemo was in the smoking room. Fuck it. I bolted to the fridge, grabbed whatever my hand landed on, and told them to deliver it to Jieun's — no, to his seat. Ah, what do I do, what do I do. If I just leave it there, he won't even remember. How many girls must have bought drinks for a face like that? More than the grains of sand at Haeundae Beach.
I spotted Post-its at the counter. I scribbled whatever came to mind.
Please don't feel pressured — just enjoy it.
I'm giving this to you because you're too cute. ( ´╹ᗜ╹`*)
Ha. Shit. First handwritten note since elementary school.
Teemo came out of the smoking room. I set the drink and the memo on his seat and sprinted straight for the bathroom. My heart was pounding. Had Teemo seen the Post-it?
I snuck a glance back at his seat. Suspicious, sharp eyes. He read the note and shoved the drink off to the side.
Huh? Looking closer, the drink I'd given him was Ssokssok Orange Juice — the one packed with little citrus pulp bits. Of course he wouldn't drink that. King-tier valid refusal.
Ah, for real, Kang Sena. You crazy bitch! Think before you live. Who the hell drinks Ssokssok Orange Juice these days besides grandmas and grandpas?
I was anxious. I started chewing my nails — a habit that came out whenever the OCD got bad. It's all because of the orange juice. The orange juice. I should've bought him something else.
— Sssssss……!
Even while pissing into the toilet I was self-flagellating. The girl who took a heaven-woven connection and buried it in orange juice. Why orange juice instead of cola or cider? Orange juice. Orange juice.
"Hey, Kang Sena, what are you muttering about?"
On my way back to my seat, chain-smoker Jieun — fresh out of the smoking room — called out to me.
"Gangji, you wouldn't get it. I'm finished. Ssokssok Orange Juice. Fuck, for real. I want to chop my own hand off!"
"Psycho. Say something a human being can understand for once. Hey, that aside — I'll buy you a lighter."
"What? Where's the one I gave you? Did you jerk off with it or something?"
Normally I would've screamed at her to bring it back this second and started a full riot. But right now I was fixated on the pretty boy at seat 77 and that orange juice. Jieun's face went shyly red.
"No, I just… gave it to someone. Ah, first time I've ever wanted to be a lighter. If those soft white hands would just touch my chest a little too… ah, I'm so dildo-hungry."
"You pervert. Is sex jokes the only language you speak?"
"Fuck, fine, whatever. A virgin like you wouldn't get what happened in the smoking room anyway."
Her tone was practically begging me to ask what happened in the smoking room. Moments like this, total stonewalling feels the best.
"I'm not curious, thanks. Idiot. You're a virgin too."
"Hey, so in the smoking room……"
"Could you shut up? Your mouth stinks, Kang Jieun."
"The smoking……"
"Ah, get lost. I can't hear you. I can't hear you."
I clamped both hands over my ears and sat down. A sigh came out. If it hadn't been Ssokssok Orange Juice, things might've gone well. If only it hadn't been orange juice. The regret lingered.
Ah, shit. I really shouldn't do this. But my hand moved according to the heat in my pussy. The pussy rules the brain.
I opened the PC bang chat. It's normally for friends hanging out at the same café. I clicked seat 77 and sent a message.
No response. Of course he wouldn't like it. The attachment wouldn't let go.
I wanted to cling to even a single thread. This isn't obsession. I just don't want to lose a chance that might come once in a lifetime.
Fuck. He blocked me on the PC bang messenger.
I want it more because I can't have it. Ah, for real, I really shouldn't do this. But my pussy was already soaked through. There was nothing left to ruin.
I opened the ROL client. Playing completely dumb, I messaged Teemo.
The ID is mortifying. That psycho Gangji made it for me. How was I supposed to know I'd meet a guy on ROL?
Thankfully he replied. See — I wasn't the problem. That goddamn orange juice was the problem.
With trembling hands I hit the friend request on IAmAPussyGuard. Looking at it again, Teemo's ID was pretty wild for a guy too. IAmAPussyGuard? Then again — that face, that body. No way he hasn't been around. Even sitting still, girls would've swarmed him like zombies.
— Ding!
IAmAPussyGuard has accepted WannaSuckBigDick's friend request.
Yes!!!!!!!! My pussy was fluttering with joy. I was about to cry. I did it! I had to send a thank-you message right away.
I should have stopped there. But that damn OCD made me curious and restless. Why won't he drink the orange juice I gave him? At this rate I wouldn't sleep for days. Ah, fuck. I should've brought my meds.
Excessive obsession always leads to ruin. That's just how the world works. And yet. Still. Of course. Against my will, my hands were already typing.
IAmAPussyGuard has blocked messages from WannaSuckBigDick.
Fuck……
Fuuuuck!!!!!!!
Is it that hard to just tell me whether you like orange juice or not? Teemo. You're caught. Until you happily chug every orange juice I buy you — I'm not giving up.
Teemo is mine, he's mine, he's mine. From now on, Teemo is mine. You can't run!