No Mere Formality
Unlike what they'd called a mere formality, Kim So-cheol tested me far more seriously and meticulously than I'd expected. I passed most of it without issue, but yeah, it was way tougher than anticipated.
"This is really the formality level?"
"If you couldn't handle this much, we shouldn't have bothered in the first place—and you passed it without a hitch anyway."
"True, but still."
Anyway, the test was done. All that was left was the contract. We hadn't done any proper negotiations with the front office yet, and I hadn't expected things to wrap up this quickly today, so the real talks were set for tomorrow.
"See you tomorrow, then."
"Guess I'll have to call you coach next time."
"Just call me bro."
Whatever... it'd all sort itself out eventually.
Unlike the trip there, I was heading back alone, but it didn't feel lonely. If anything, my heart was pounding a little.
Once home, I finally crashed on the bed and relaxed properly for the first time in ages. Not that my routine was any different, but my mindset had shifted. Things wouldn't be this chill from here on out.
Lounging there, I checked the chat for my hiatus notice. As expected, it was flooded with "When are you coming back?" comments. Sorry about that.
...Speaking of which, should I keep streaming? Now that I'd gotten back into pro play—the goal I'd once chased—there was no real reason to continue. Balancing both isn't easy anyway.
Even back in my old pro days, I wasn't big on streaming. Just did the bare minimum, like homework.
Truth be told, quitting clean here made sense. At least for the time being. But the fun I'd felt lately wasn't fake.
So I didn't want to drop it entirely.
For now, it'd be too much, but once I had breathing room, I'd pick it back up. With that in mind, I posted another notice.
...I think this every time, but why do these intuitive weirdos keep popping up? Not that the guy who wrote it actually believes his own guess.
~
Night fell, and Dad got home from work. Eating dinner just the two of us had become pretty routine now.
Come to think of it, even this would end soon. I'd be moving out.
...I hadn't told Dad yet. It wasn't like I thought he'd forbid it—I was an adult, and he had no right to stop me anyway.
Still, cracking open this awkwardly patched-up relationship again felt kinda off-putting.
"Something up?"
"Huh?"
"Your face looks off."
Damn, his intuition was sharp. I didn't want to get into it now, so I tried to brush it off. But his response was anything but casual.
"It's nothing."
"I see. So what's this 'big news' from your notice about?"
"Pardon?"
...What the hell?
"W-Wait, how do you know about that?"
"I watch your streams sometimes."
"You're kidding?!"
No way—a guy who doesn't even play LoE watching my streams? Insane! Sure, I hadn't done anything embarrassing, but still, not something I wanted Dad seeing!!
"What kind of person spies on their kid's stream?!"
"Didn't know you'd hate it that much. Sorry."
"...What's your ID?"
"Planning to ban me?"
"Nah, not that far... Just don't watch anymore."
I immediately looked up the ID he gave me. No chats, but occasional big donations from someone who just lurked. Not huge money, but pocket-change level...
"...Dude lives next door—why donate to his own kid's stream?"
"You said you didn't want allowance."
...Fair point. Couldn't argue that.
"No need for this anymore."
"Got it."
Why did Dad look kinda disappointed?
Live long enough, you see everything.
"So you won't tell me what the big news is?"
Ah, right—that was the point. I didn't want to spill now, but the convo had gone this far. Sighing, I said it.
"...I'm going pro again."
"Back to pro."
"Yeah. Did the test today, signing tomorrow. No point trying to stop me—I'm an adult, and you can't anyway."
"...I see."
Unlike what I'd braced for—no instant outburst—he just went quiet. Dinner was forgotten for both of us until he finally spoke.
"...I won't say it's too hard or to quit. You'd know that better than me now anyway."
And what came next was worlds away from what he'd said when I first dreamed of going pro.
"I won't oppose it. Like you said, I don't have the right anymore—and even if I did, I wouldn't. You've grown up."
Dad muttered.
"Well, you've shrunk a bit now, huh?"
...More bewildered than mad. A joke from Dad?
"Can't turn back now, but I regret blocking your path back then. Thought it was right. Wasn't easy, or stable."
"So it's okay now 'cause I succeeded...?"
"No—even if you'd failed completely as a pro, this wouldn't change. After your mom died, I never really saw you. In my memory, you were always that sulky kid. Back then too."
...Was I?
"But when you started pro and moved out, whenever I visited... you were always..."
"Smiling at least?"
"Opposite. You looked tormented."
"Then why?"
"But you were alive then."
"..."
"Never thought you'd push forward despite breaking down like that. With me, you were like a half-dead doll. But you? Always alive."
"Weird way to put it."
"Yeah, maybe."
Dad cracked something like a smile for the first time in forever.
"So no opposing now. Follow your heart."
"...Really?"
"Drop by sometimes. Gets lonely alone."
...Was this the same guy we'd fought so bitterly with?
He'd changed too much. Staggering, from that gruff man.
But hey.
I'd changed a ton too. Mostly looks-wise.
"Got it."
"Good."
"...I'll visit sometimes."
"Thanks."
Dad was still awkward. Annoying, irritating. Watching my stream? Horrifying.
Still, it felt inevitable it'd end up like this.
"And sorry."
"For what."
"Blocking you back then."
"Whatever. Water under the bridge."
"Do your best."
"...Yeah."
Just like that.
~
"Wait, if you watched my stream, did you see me duoing ranked with Crisu...?"
"Ahem."
"...You did?"
"Hem hem."
Ah, fuck.
~
Next day, I headed back to the E Revolution Gaming office as planned. Short negotiations later, contract done. As I stepped out, Yuseung was waiting.
"No backing out now."
"Yeah. When do I move into the dorm?"
"Tomorrow or the day after? Wait—it's not a 2-person room or anything, right?"
"Obviously 2-person. But you'll have it solo anyway."
"Absurd as it sounds, I was scared they'd room me with Crisu."
Would've been rough for both of us.
"They know you used to be a guy."
"So the team knows I'm coming?"
"Yeah. Dice is joining."
"But...?"
"They don't know you turned into a girl."
"...This'll be fun."
Guess I'd have to explain everything myself.
"Why didn't you tell 'em ahead?"
"Better from you—more convincing."
No one'd believe secondhand, Yuseung muttered.
"But seriously, top laner situation? Still negotiating? Who even?"
"Someone you know."
"I do?"
"Yep."
No clue who.
"Don't tease—just spill. What's with the riddle?"
"Sharpness."
Hm, Sharpness, huh... Sharpness.
What?
"Sharpness? Wait—no way. Why would he come here?"
"Dunno details. We didn't recruit him—he approached us."
"Approached us? From the posting?"
"Yeah."
Couldn't make sense of it. Even underrated, Sharpness was an Eld Cup quarterfinal top laner with solid regular season rankings.
Guy like that? Teams lining up. Domestic maybe not, but overseas? Plenty. He even spoke Chinese.
"Too risky even for 'don't wanna rust'—success is break-even, failure stains the resume."
"Guess we'll hear from him directly."
"If he joins, this team's name value is no joke."
All has-beens or not—Eld Cup 8-strong top, one-time runner-up jungler, three-time runner-up mid. Cover support, and it's LCK-level.
"Still, probably fall through."
"Why?"
"Can't match salary. You took a pay cut too."
"True... Hope we fill out quick."
Need time to gel and practice.
We arrived where the others waited. Deep breath to head in—phone buzzed. Text from Arang.
I read it, face hardening, and told Yuseung,
"Hey, sorry—gonna take this call quick."
"What? Guys are waiting."
"Later."
Had to talk to Arang now. Couldn't wait.