A Reversed Relationship (4)
“Minjae—!”
Noona called my name loudly from the opposite side as she approached. At the sound, Seoa looked that way too. Then she gave a light tug, pulling me toward her.
“Minjae… my friends said to tell you they’re sorry. So don’t worry about it anymore…”
Seoa hurriedly passed along what she needed to say.
I didn’t particularly care that her friends were apologizing.
Looking back on it now, they hadn’t really done anything wrong. They’d simply taken Seoa’s words at face value. If they were her friends, believing her was only natural. And of course they couldn’t just stand by while someone insulted their friend. It was a perfectly normal reaction.
Which meant the one at fault from the start was Seoa—for saying something so ridiculous in the first place.
Well… it wasn’t as if Seoa had never apologized to me, but still.
While I was thinking that, still briefly held by Seoa, noona had already drawn close. She looked back and forth between Seoa and me, then dropped her gaze to our joined hands. She didn’t lower her head to check—just moved her eyes alone to confirm it. After that she gave a smile whose meaning I couldn’t read, and greeted Seoa first.
“Ah… hello.”
“…….”
Seoa only gave a slight nod. She didn’t make a sound.
An awkward atmosphere settled over us. Caught in the middle, I still didn’t know what to do, fumbling and reading the room.
Then noona gently tugged at the sleeve of my other arm.
“Shall we go?”
“Ah… yeah.”
“And thanks for coming to school when I asked.”
It didn’t feel like the kind of thing anyone would say in this situation, but noona said it anyway. Tightening her grip on my sleeve, she seemed to be signaling that we should head to the club room. So I naturally slipped my hand free from Seoa’s and followed noona.
There was no real reason to stay held by Seoa.
From the beginning it had been strange that she could grab me so casually like this. We weren’t that kind of pair anymore. You said you hated me. You pushed me away like you couldn’t stand the sight of me.
But…
At some point Seoa had started feeling sorry and apologizing. At some point she seemed to want to repair the relationship. And when I didn’t accept it, she began treating me as if none of it had ever happened.
I still couldn’t get used to that. Because of it, I kept getting pulled into her pace.
What on earth was Seoa thinking right now?
Honestly, reconciliation with Seoa was possible. Even if it was still too soon… maybe after a little more time. With time, everything that happened back then might just become one big misunderstanding. Maybe it would turn into one of those past memories we could laugh off with a “we were like that once.”
So I thought that with time, making up with Seoa might become possible.
But… the important thing was that our hearts were no longer the same as they had been then. Even if the relationship returned, it would only look the same on the surface. The insides would never go back. We could never return to the moments we had made together.
Or, to put it more accurately… maybe it was only my heart that was different now. I had given up on loving Seoa. I didn’t like her anymore. Maybe I was the only one whose feelings had changed.
Perhaps that would actually be better for Seoa. Not the relationship where I lurked beside her with my gloomy one-sided love, but something that truly became pure childhood friends.
Anyway, with noona taking me away, the situation seemed to be wrapping up. But behind my back Seoa threw out one more line.
“Minjae, I’ll be waiting at your place.”
What was that supposed to mean… Someone who didn’t even know the password to my place, waiting there?
Seoa kept doing and saying things that made no sense.
Don’t tell me… was she trying to grab my ankle now? Did it bother her that I was getting my energy back like this? Because I hadn’t accepted her apology no matter how hard she tried… was she trying to stop me from doing well?
I didn’t know.
Whatever the reason, the best thing for me right now was not to get involved with Seoa. And I believed the best thing was to stay clear of her until my heart and mind found stability again.
I had chosen noona over Seoa with difficulty and calmed my heart. Until that heart reached a safe place, I couldn’t get tangled up with Seoa.
Led by noona’s hand, I arrived at the club room. Fortunately, noona didn’t seem particularly bothered by what had just happened. That was the feeling I got… yet somehow the atmosphere still felt a little heavy.
How to put it… noona was sitting still with an expression that suggested she was thinking about something else, so that was the impression I got. Uncharacteristically, she was keeping a heavy silence. That was why the air felt weighted.
I carefully tried to break it, speaking first.
“Um… is the person who said they’d draw also joining today?”
“Ah! No. She won’t be coming today.”
“Ah… really? When does she start?”
“Dunno? She just told me to let her know once development is roughly finished.”
Hmm… maybe she was busy.
I tried to brush past her less-than-enthusiastic attitude. But what we were doing wasn’t some personal project—it was a team project. That kind of attitude didn’t sit right with me. It felt like she was just an outsourced worker who only needed to do her own part.
If this was a game planned as a team from the start, we couldn’t go about it that way. We needed to gather first, hold a meeting, lock down the core concept, and decide on art and development direction together. She might draw images that didn’t match what we wanted. Her style might not fit the atmosphere we were going for. And the direction she pursued might differ from ours.
We had to discuss and agree on those things in advance or problems would crop up later—and once they did, it would be a real mess. If I’d at least known what kind of work she usually did, I wouldn’t have pushed this hard.
“Still… shouldn’t she attend the meetings? Even if she doesn’t have work to do right away, it’s a game we’re all making together…”
The usual me would never have voiced an opinion like that out loud. I would have just thought it and swallowed it. But game-related matters were different. I was serious about games. And this was a game I was making with noona… so I felt we had to do it properly. That was probably why I could put my thoughts out there without holding back.
“Ah… I hadn’t even thought of it as a meeting yet. So I didn’t tell her today’s gathering was a meeting either…… Sorry. My thinking was short.”
“No. I mean, that can happen. I wasn’t trying to blame you.”
“Mm, next time I’ll make sure everyone can attend.”
I felt a little awkward, wondering if I’d spoken up for nothing. Noona looked a bit flustered by that side of me, which only made it more embarrassing. After all, I’d never raised my voice like that before, almost as if I were getting worked up.
“But that person—did she used to come to the club a lot?”
“Hmm… more or less? Why?”
“Ah, I’ve never seen her once… so it’s surprising that you know her.”
“Ahh… actually I joined this club because of her. When I got interested in making games, she recommended this place. But it’s not like we’re super close. We haven’t been in touch much lately.”
I see. I found myself hoping her gender wasn’t male. For some reason that was what I thought.
“Then is she the same age as you?”
“No? She’s a year younger than me. Still a year older than you, though.”
Older than me?
That meant… thankfully she wasn’t a guy. After the vague worry, a vague sense of relief followed. I’d felt a little awkward asking about gender first, so it was nice to learn it naturally.
“More than that, I heard she’s also Comp Sci… never heard of her?”
“Huh? She’s Comp Sci too?”
“Yeah. A kid named ‘Nari.’ Yu Nari. Never heard of her?”
“No… not at all. Maybe because I never pay attention to that stuff.”
There was someone like that in our department? I had no idea. Then again, I could barely match names and faces among my own classmates. If she was a year above me… of course that information wouldn’t exist in my brain.
Still, it was strange… if someone drew, shouldn’t their major usually be fine arts? Maybe I was just being narrow-minded. That part felt a little odd.
“Anyway, next time I’ll bring her like you said.”
“Okay…”
After that we talked for a long while about the game noona wanted to make. I remembered hearing about it once before—the game she said she wanted to create. A bizarre, anti-humanitarian game where cute, adorable characters slaughtered cute, adorable animals. She seemed to want to realize that dream with this opportunity.
I wondered why it had to be this time, but there was nothing I could do. I’d already boldly declared we’d make the game she wanted, so even if I had doubts about whether this was really okay, I couldn’t say no now. We just had to do it.
After talking about the contest for quite a long time, we left the club room. Walking down to the main gate with noona. It had been a while. We used to walk this path together pretty often.
“Um, so Minjae, you’re living on your own right now?”
“Huh? I am, but… why all of a sudden?”
“Then next time, want to hold the meeting at your place?”
“What…?”
What kind of radical suggestion was this all of a sudden. A meeting at my place… that was a bit of a problem. On top of that, my place was currently soaked in cigarette smell and in pretty bad shape.
“My place… I’ll invite you properly when I get the chance.”
“Ah… okay. Got it.”
After that another awkward silence flowed, and in front of the main gate we each went our own way. Carrying that slightly unsettled feeling, I arrived at my door. And in that moment I realized there was one thing I had completely forgotten.
Seoa, who had said she would wait at my place.
Seoa was really squatting in front of my door, waiting for me. How long had she been here? More than that—she had actually been waiting for me in front of my place. Why? For what reason?
Seoa seemed to sense my presence and turned her head. Her eyes met mine as I stood there flustered.
“You’re pretty late. I waited a long time.”
“……Why do you keep coming to find me.”
“Can you tell me the password to your place?”