The Choice
Beyond the car window, the nightscape of Gyeonggi Province streaked past as they glided smoothly along the highway. Choi Deok-hun’s outrageous proposal—that she drop out of university, open a café with him, and live together—was more than enough to scramble her thoughts.
From the miraculous moment she had woken in the body of an alluring woman after being a worthless man, all the way to those shameful memories of masturbating on the street because she could not contain the surging need…
Thinking about it calmly now… it really is absurd.
She felt a wave of self-loathing at how thoroughly she had been ruled by her body’s reactions, yet when she recalled how helplessly wet she became at a single touch from Choi Deok-hun, it no longer seemed so surprising.
Living with him would at least free her from money worries. For all his rough, crude appearance, he was a man fully capable of providing for someone like her. She also knew that the only person who could completely handle and satisfy this constantly overheating, lewd body of hers was the very man who had dragged her down into this world in the first place.
But…
In the silence, Lim Se-yeong’s face suddenly rose before her. Even if the memories were not originally hers, the faint, aching affection etched into every cell of this body swept through her chest like a cold wind. He was a man without a single rough edge—face, personality, everything—the living emblem of a clean, bright world.
Between the comfortable, pleasure-soaked life Deok-hun offered and the peaceful everyday that Se-yeong waited for, she stared at the lights and sank into deep thought.
The monotonous roar of the highway faded, and the car eventually entered downtown Suwon, where glittering neon signs swayed.
In the long silence that followed, she used the streetlights flashing past as milestones, carefully untangling the knotted threads of her heart one by one. After staring for a long time at her own pale face reflected in the window, she finally parted her lips as if she had made up her mind.
“Uncle.”
She saw the back of Choi Deok-hun’s hand tighten on the wheel. Still facing forward, she began to draw out the words that had settled deep inside her.
“I’ll be honest. The first time I saw you, I really hated how ugly you were. And that sticky, filthy look you gave me every time you stared, and the cowardly way you cornered and blackmailed me… I hated all of it.”
Deok-hun’s brow furrowed, but she did not stop.
“But… if I’m being completely honest, I also know that in the moments we were having sex, this body was genuinely happy. I can’t deny it.”
She paused to steady her breath, recalling those humiliating moments and the things she had said to him.
“Thank you for deleting all the videos. And the offer itself wasn’t bad. But Uncle, a relationship forced together like this won’t last. We’ll just end up eating each other alive.”
She withdrew the hand that had been resting on his thigh and folded both hands in her lap.
“So I’m rejecting your proposal. I’m going to try living my own way again.”
At her firm refusal, silence instantly filled the car. The distant noise of the city filtered through the windows while only Deok-hun’s rough breathing occupied the narrow space. His profile, as he gripped the wheel in silence, was taut with tension. Neon lights flickered chaotically across his rough features. After a silence that felt ready to explode, he let out a surprisingly short sigh and turned the wheel.
“…Fine. If that’s how you feel, there’s nothing I can do.”
His unexpectedly ready acceptance left her with a strange feeling; she stared at him quietly. The predatory aura that had tried to claim her completely on Jeju Island was nowhere to be found. Right now he simply looked like a blunt older man with a large age gap between them.
The car soon entered the familiar alleys of the one-room village near the university. The area around her apartment felt so peaceful that the stormy days just past seemed almost unreal.
When the car stopped, she unbuckled her seatbelt and reached for the door handle. Yet just before getting out, the unfinished memories still lingering in her body made her bite her lip; she turned her head toward Deok-hun.
“Uncle.”
When he looked at her indifferently, she added in a voice so soft it was almost inaudible.
“Um… later, if I get really desperate… if I just can’t take it anymore and contact you, please don’t pretend you don’t know me. Just once in a while.”
At her carefully worded request, Deok-hun’s eyebrows twitched. It was neither a clean break nor a surrender to the paradise of being kept—a cowardly yet honest compromise. Knowing better than anyone the nature of this body that flared up at any moment, this was the best defensive line she could draw.
“Heh. Got it.”
Deok-hun’s lips curled slightly as he gave a short laugh, as if he already knew she would come looking for him again. Leaving that smile behind, she hurriedly stepped out of the car.
Listening to the sound of the car fading into the distance, she walked with heavy steps toward the “ordinary” daily life where Kim Hui-yeong would be waiting.
When she entered the two-room apartment, she found Hui-yeong resting in comfortable clothes with her luggage still half-unpacked. At the sound of her arrival, Hui-yeong turned her head, then could not hide her delight as she greeted her.
“Hey, A-yeong! You’re finally here? I thought my neck was going to fall off waiting!”
Hui-yeong sprang up from the bed and ran over. They had been hanging out every day lately, trading silly jokes, yet because of the Jeju trip they had barely spoken and had not seen each other for nearly four days; her reaction was far more intense than usual.
“What kind of trip do you just take off on without a word? Not even one photo. Do you know how bored I was without you?”
Hui-yeong playfully tapped her shoulder. Hearing that clear, lively voice made the memory of wrestling with damp desire in Deok-hun’s car only moments ago feel like an unreal dream.
“Sorry, sorry. I was just running around like crazy.”
She answered with a forced bright smile. Yet her body still burned faintly wherever Deok-hun’s hands had touched, and meeting Hui-yeong’s clean gaze felt strangely guilty.
“So did you take any pictures?”
“Pictures? Ah, well…”
At Hui-yeong’s innocent question her heart dropped. Through her mind flashed the humiliating photos taken just a short while ago in the parking lot of the Jeju pool villa—condoms full of semen resting on her breasts while she forced a peace sign.
“You know me. I’m terrible at selfies, I hardly ever take photos, and I’m even worse at asking other people to take them.”
She shrugged, doing her best to mimic her usual indifferent tone. In truth, ever since she had changed from a worthless man into an attractive woman’s body, she had felt an instinctive aversion to recording the unfamiliar face in the mirror; the excuse was fairly convincing.
“Aigoo, wasting that face—what a waste. So typical of Park A-yeong. But you went all the way to Jeju and didn’t even get one proper ocean shot?”
Hui-yeong clicked her tongue in disappointment yet quickly nodded, clearly aware that A-yeong had always avoided being photographed.
“I just took a lot in with my eyes. I hate missing the scenery because I’m busy taking pictures.”
It was a lie. She had not taken anything in with her eyes; she had taken it in with her body—the intense sensations Deok-hun had carved into her. She shoved her phone deep into her bag and avoided Hui-yeong’s bright gaze.
“Well, as long as you’re happy. Anyway, when’s your class tomorrow? Don’t tell me you’re skipping on the very first day.”
At Hui-yeong’s question she checked her timetable again. Major classes packed from nine in the morning were waiting for her.
“Haa… nine o’clock class. Looks like I have no choice but to get up early.”
“See? I knew it. Hurry up and wash and unpack. Are you going to meet the new kids looking like a zombie?”
“Right, tomorrow’s the first day of classes.”
She nodded at Hui-yeong’s words. Tomorrow was the true first step she would take as a “university student.” It was also a day when new encounters awaited.
If she had still been the man she once was, she would have just jammed a hat on and gone out, but the current Park A-yeong could not free herself from other people’s eyes. Especially this body, made even more sensitive by Deok-hun’s touch, felt as though it might heat up from nothing more than a gaze.
“Okay. I’ll unpack and wash quick. You’re not leaving early tomorrow, are you?”
“I’ve got afternoon classes so I’m freer. Jealous? Instead, I’ll wake you up in the morning. It’s our first class after enrollment—we can’t be late!”
Hui-yeong grinned and flopped back onto the bed. The excitement of a brand-new freshman filled her voice. Her friend’s unchanging bright energy and the anticipation of a new beginning pricked sharply at a corner of A-yeong’s chest instead.
If Hui-yeong ever learned what kind of state she had been rolling around in on Jeju, would she still cheerfully offer to wake her up in the morning?
She roughly opened her luggage to shake off the complicated thoughts. The suggestive lace underwear and short skirts visible through the gap had to be hastily blocked with her body so they would not enter Hui-yeong’s line of sight.
They were the blatantly sexual clothes Deok-hun had chosen himself, saying they suited her body—items that had nothing to do with an ordinary college girl’s “exciting first-day outfit.”
The smooth fabric under her fingertips recalled the touch of his hands from the car earlier. She bit her lip and shoved them into the deepest part of the drawer, as if sealing away the lewd memories inside her.
Tomorrow morning at nine. Would she be able to smile as ordinary freshman Park A-yeong without anyone noticing the traces left on her body?
“A-yeong, aren’t you going to wash? Why are you just standing there spacing out? You have to look pretty for the kids tomorrow!”
Hui-yeong’s playful urging snapped her back to reality.
“Ah, I’m going now. I’ll wash quick and come out.”
She headed for the bathroom and stripped off her clothes. The body reflected in the mirror still looked white and neat, yet the sensations flowing beneath the skin were already contaminated by the pleasure Deok-hun had taught her.
She turned on the cold water to cool her heated body and prepared for the thrilling yet frightening first day of school that awaited tomorrow.