IF: Choi Deok-hun (1)
It had already been several weeks since I entered this life. No — if I were coldly honest, only a few weeks had passed.
Yet the weight of time I felt was far heavier and more oppressive than the previous twenty-odd years. Was it my fragile willpower, or had this body been designed that way from the start?
The memories of my years as a man were almost completely blurred now. The reflection in the window showed only a strange woman with languid eyes, and it seemed that “Park A-yeong,” who spread her legs every night beneath that massive body and screamed in ecstasy, had become my entire existence.
Choi Deok-hun. Objectively, he was nothing more than a fat, crude middle-aged man who knew nothing of consideration.
And yet every time those thick arms closed around me, every time that enormous size roughly drove into me, resistance never even crossed my mind. Each time I was forced to feel how little strength remained — not even enough to move a single finger.
Pleasure surged until it felt as if my brain would burn out, paralyzing every shred of reason. All I could do was gasp beneath him, craving still deeper stimulation.
There was no longer any doubt: my body had become one that ordinary love or ordinary pleasure could never satisfy again. His rough caresses and filthy words now only drove me harder.
“……All right.”
In the end, the only words that left my lips were ones of acceptance.
As we passed through the Suwon tollgate, in the silence that filled the car, the course of my life had already bent irrevocably in one direction.
The next morning I forced my eyes open to a ceiling that felt completely foreign. Even the major textbooks on the desk no longer seemed like mine.
In the first week of the new semester I never set foot in a lecture hall. Instead I walked to the academic affairs office. I lacked the courage to drop out completely, so I chose a general leave of absence. Half a year off would give me enough time to decide whether accepting Choi Deok-hun’s proposal was the right choice — whether my decision was correct.
“Smart girl. What’s the point of studying? Just live with me.”
Choi Deok-hun pressed the familiar key ring of the café near home into my palm, legitimizing my choice. To my father I offered the excuse that studying no longer suited me and that I wanted to rest for a while while working part-time at the café.
Father was clearly displeased, yet he could not break his daughter’s stubborn will. And so my “strange café job” began.
In the mornings I was simply an ordinary café owner and part-timer. The day started amid the fragrant scent of coffee and classical music. But once evening came and Choi Deok-hun locked the door from the inside after closing, the place transformed into something else entirely.
“A-yeong, come here wearing only the apron.”
In the empty, silent hall, in front of the cooled espresso machine, I received his rough hands.
Bent over the kitchen counter, I felt the cold surface against my skin and the hot slap of his palm against my ass; the moans I had been holding back spilled out.
Whenever the sound of people passing beyond the glass windows reached me, fear mixed with dizzying excitement and heated me even further from within.
Time spent with Choi Deok-hun was not entirely unpleasant. After the simple work ended, breathless pleasure always followed.
What truly wore me down was not Choi Deok-hun himself. It was the awkward ritual that arrived without fail every weekend.
“A-yeong, are you really not going back to school? You’ve studied so hard all this time.”
On Saturday afternoons Lim Se-yeong would open the café door. Small-framed, lacking any particularly masculine presence, yet warm and clear-eyed — my gentle friend.
Almost every weekend Se-yeong came to persuade me. Sometimes with Kim Hui-yeong, sometimes alone.
“Hui-yeong’s worried sick too. You suddenly took leave and you’re just… doing this here…”
The quiet comfort and worried gaze Se-yeong offered sank deeper into my chest than the bite marks Choi Deok-hun left on me.
Beneath the counter I fingered the bracelet Choi Deok-hun had given me and forced a smile.
“I just… want to rest from studying for a while. Se-yeong, you guys go have fun without me. I’m comfortable here.”
Se-yeong pressed his lips tightly together. He never gave up easily. The next week, and the week after that, he sat in the farthest corner, opened his major textbook, and watched me.
That pure concern stabbed at my self-loathing. I was terrified that the sight of me collapsing in pleasure every night in Choi Deok-hun’s arms might somehow be reflected in Se-yeong’s clear eyes.
The afterimage left by Lim Se-yeong’s visits always carried a bitter aftertaste. While the air of the outside world he brought lingered inside the café, I would freshly realize just how abnormal the cage I lived in truly was.
But that awareness never lasted long. The heavy presence that arrived with the sound of the door lock engaging paralyzed every thought.
No — I had gone beyond mere acceptance. I now craved that destructive sensation.
Thud— thud—
The moment the dull sound of dress shoes echoed down the hallway, my body reacted before reason. My heart seemed to drop to my toes and every nerve stood on end.
The abnormal feelings I had so desperately wanted to hide from Father and Se-yeong began to run wild the instant I heard those footsteps.
I wanted to please him. More precisely, I wanted to reach that destructive pleasure he forced on me even one second sooner.
So I chose the naked apron. Fresh from the shower, bare skin covered by nothing but a thin frilled apron, I pretended to cook in Choi Deok-hun’s kitchen while waiting for him.
“Ah… you’re here.”
The closer his footsteps came, the more my body prepared itself to receive him. My nipples, brushing against the thin fabric, swelled hard and sent sharp sparks through me. Between my bare thighs I was already soaked beyond control.
My swollen clit trembled as if asserting itself, pouring hot nectar down the insides of my thighs.
Click—
The door opened and a thick male scent filled the house. As the footsteps strode toward the kitchen I gasped and gripped the sink tightly.
“Hoo, A-yeong. Today’s menu looks damn fine.”
Before I knew it Choi Deok-hun was behind me, snatching my waist. His large hand, sticky with the sweat that had beaded from the heat, dragged greedily across my bare skin.
“Ah, Uncle… it’s dangerous. I’m using the stove…”
My mouth offered a thin protest, yet my hips instinctively pushed back, pressing my wetness against the front of his pants.
Fortunately I held no knife or other dangerous tool, and the flame was turned down to the bare minimum.
Choi Deok-hun buried his face in the nape of my neck and inhaled roughly. Without even bothering to untie the thin apron strings, he roughly hoisted one of my ass cheeks with one hand.
“You prepared real well. Already dripping like this? Good girl.”
“Haa, ah… Uncle, hurry… please…!”
He shoved his pants down and, without warning, drove that enormous cock straight into my secret place in one thrust.
Schlick—! Squish!
“Aah! Ah, Uncle…! Haaaang!”
It slid in smoothly with no resistance, the sensation of being completely filled slamming all the way into the depths of my belly. I gripped the sink, rose onto my toes, and trembled.
The stew still bubbled merrily while the wet slap of my flesh against his thighs filled the kitchen.
He seized my waist as if to crush it and began slamming his hips mercilessly. Lewd smacking sounds rang out; a strange scent tickled my nose. Every time his cock stabbed deep into me, feelings for him bloomed hotter.
“Ah, Uncle… Uncle’s is the best… haaaang! It’s too big, too deep…! Harder, please fuck me harder!”
I threw my head back and screamed in pleasure. Boiling broth hissed as it spilled onto the gas flame, yet I never even thought of turning it off.
Thwack— smack— thwack—!
My body clenched and twitched around him of its own will; it was no longer the flesh of a rational human being, but that of a lewd bitch desperate for her master’s touch.
Choi Deok-hun panted roughly and sank his teeth deep into my shoulder.
His violent thrusts scattered the ingredients across the counter. Amid the mess of food I felt myself reduced to livestock that existed solely to receive his lust.
And I admitted the mad joy that fact gave me as I twisted around, kissed him deeply, and frantically rolled my hips.
After the storm of sex had swept through, the kitchen was left thick with the damp smell of scorched food. Choi Deok-hun, still breathing hard, scooped me up and carried me to the bed.
“Hwaang—”
My body, flung onto the sheets, was already as limp as a broken doll. He sprawled beside me, chest heaving with sweat.
For a long while he stared at the ceiling, catching his breath. Then he found a cigarette, lit it, and spoke as if tossing the words away.
“Ah, A-yeong. I’m moving this month.”
“What?”
The unexpected words snapped my hazy mind awake. Choi Deok-hun exhaled a long stream of smoke and continued.
“The lease is up. I’m moving somewhere a bit farther. Distance from the café will be longer.”
In that instant my heart went cold. The fact that I would be separated from him — that this enormous presence dominating my daily life might vanish from my sight — struck me as pure terror.
Only a few weeks earlier I had struggled desperately to escape him. Now I could no longer even imagine a life without him.
No. I don’t want to be apart from Uncle.
Shame and pride had long since worn away to nothing. I realized to the marrow of my bones that I could not leave this man — that I did not want to leave him.
More essential to my life than the warm hand Se-yeong offered were Choi Deok-hun’s rough breathing and the violent pleasure he gave me.
“Uncle… even if you move, you’ll still come see me, right?”
“Who knows. If it’s too much trouble, maybe not.”
I rolled onto my side and clung desperately to his thick arm. Then I decided to cross the final line I had never once broken.
I slowly brought my lips to his ear and whispered the irreversible proposal that would offer my entire life to him.
“Uncle… you don’t have to use condoms anymore.”
Choi Deok-hun’s eyebrows twitched. I wrapped my arms around his neck, making no attempt to hide the desire to take his seed inside me and bear his fruit.
“Just cum inside me. I don’t care if I get pregnant with your baby… take me with you.”
Choi Deok-hun rose from the bed with a truly satisfied, broad smile.
From this moment I swore I would no longer be merely his plaything, but the eternal possession that would hold everything of his.