Crossroads
Stepping out of the car parked under the villa lights, I absently peered into the open door and froze in horror. The interior, lit by the streetlamp, was beyond mere chaos.
Moisture I had left behind stained the seats in mottled patches, and crumpled tissues littered the floor mats. Worst of all, used condoms—evidence of what we had done—lay grotesquely scattered across the passenger dashboard and floor.
"Mister… what are we going to do about this? The car's completely… this isn't a rental, is it?"
Choi Deok-hun shut the door with a casual chuckle, unfazed by my flustered question.
"Rental? Hell no. I borrowed it from a guy I know."
"A friend? That makes it even worse! How are you going to return it looking like this…"
"Don't worry about it. The bastard already knew exactly what would go down in this car when he lent it to me."
He slipped an arm around my waist and looked down at me with a peculiar glint in his eyes—something far more impure than simple lust.
"Thing is, he's got a nasty temper. A car wash fee alone probably won't cut it."
"What? Then what?"
"Says a single photo might buy his forgiveness. How about it?"
Deok-hun pulled out his smartphone and held it up in front of my face. A photo? Was he seriously planning to take one of me looking like this? I wasn't wearing anything below the waist, just a thin coat on top.
"No way, Mister! How could I possibly…!"
"If you don't like it, you can wash the car and replace every sheet yourself. Or… should I crawl over to that guy myself and beg?"
His half-threatening proposal made me bite my lip. Refusing here felt like it would only lead to something far worse. In the end, I lowered my head in shame and slowly undid the buttons of my coat one by one.
Ssslip—
The coat slid to the ground, baring my naked body under the lights. Red marks bloomed across my skin like petals from the repeated acts inside the car, and the space between my thighs was still slick and sticky.
"Hmm, just snapping it plain feels a little dull."
Deok-hun looked me over, then reached into the car and picked up a semen-filled condom that had been rolling around on the passenger floor. Without ceremony, he draped the heavy thing across my chest.
"Ah— Mister! What are you doing?!"
The cold, sticky feel of the condom against my skin sent a shiver through me. The thick residue inside it sloshed between my breasts.
Ignoring my half-screamed protest, he switched on the phone camera and aimed it at me.
"Come on, strike a pose. I'll blur your face in post, so don't worry. Make a V-sign with both hands. Hurry up!"
A V-sign without even covering my face. His blatant demand made the world go dark before my eyes. Pupils unfocused from lingering pleasure, tongue hanging out, and that humiliating V-pose.
In an open parking lot, with a cum-filled condom resting on my chest, I had to strike a pose that degrading.
"What are you waiting for?"
At his urging, my knees finally gave out and I sank down. The condom on my chest swayed, stoking my shame.
I forced my eyes upward, parted my lips halfway, and stuck out my tongue. Then I raised both trembling hands into a V-sign. My fingertips quivered, but Deok-hun seemed pleased; he chuckled as he hammered the shutter.
Click— click— click—
The shutter shattered the silence, flash bursting with every shot. Each flash meticulously recorded my humiliating pose and the evidence resting on my chest.
My whole body trembled with shame and fear. This photo would now pass into someone else's hands—a brand proving I had become Choi Deok-hun's perfect plaything.
"Nice. Came out great. That guy's gonna be real happy."
The shutter sounds that had filled the parking lot finally stopped. Deok-hun scrolled through the phone screen with satisfaction, then roughly snatched the condom off my chest and tossed it to the ground before yanking me by the waist.
"Let's go. Freezing my ass off out here."
With unfocused eyes fixed on the parking lot asphalt, I stumbled after him, wearing nothing but the coat.
The moment we stepped through the villa's front door, he shoved me against the wall before even locking it. The shameful photoshoot in the parking lot seemed to have stoked him; his eyes gleamed like a beast's.
"Mister, I need to wash— ngh!"
A rough kiss and the crushing weight of his body. We collapsed onto the living-room carpet. Our final night in Jeju was once again steeped in frenzied indulgence—on the sofa, in the jacuzzi, and on the bed.
As if determined to claim every last part of me, he ceaselessly carved his mark inside me. Even as the sea outside the window turned a pale blue at dawn, our relentless night refused to end.
The air of Seoul that greeted me at Gimpo Airport was unrealistically dry. The three nights and four days in Jeju had been too intense to call a nightmare, too raw to call a memory.
Deok-hun dropped me off roughly in the parking lot with a short remark.
"See you later. Get whatever you need sorted out ahead of time."
The moment I got home I collapsed onto the bed. The lingering touch of his hands and the damp scent of him seemed to seep into the sheets. More than disgust, a sense of dissonance wrapped around me—this peaceful everyday life felt strangely alien.
But there was no time to rest. School started tomorrow. Boxes of luggage my father had prepared sat in the living room. A note on the dining table said the larger items had already been shipped to the studio apartment in Suwon.
In a daze, I stuffed the remaining odds and ends into my bag.
Then my phone vibrated.
It was Deok-hun. The thought of refusing never even crossed my mind. I slung the bag over my shoulder and stepped outside; his familiar black car was waiting. The instant I climbed in, he wordlessly clamped a heavy hand around my thigh.
"We've got a stop to make first."
He took me to his apartment. The heavy click of the door lock, and then the wide living room thick with his scent. The second the front door shut he flung my bag to the floor and pinned me against the wall.
"Ah, Mister… I still have to move my stuff, and time is…"
"Quiet. This won't take long."
He roughly yanked my T-shirt over my head and dragged my bra down. In contrast to the cold wall against my back, his scorching lips latched onto my collarbone and breasts with relentless hunger.
"Haa… ah… nnngh!"
Right in the middle of the living room, leaning against the sofa, he pulled my pants down to my ankles. When his rough fingers touched the place that had been abused for days and was now hypersensitive, a stifled moan tore free.
He hooked one of my legs around his waist and, without any preparation, thrust straight in.
Schlick—!
"Haaah! Mister… like this… so sudden!"
The wet friction shattered the silence of the apartment living room. He gripped my hips as if to crush them and slammed his waist forward mercilessly. My reflection in the glass window hung onto his shoulders with unfocused eyes.
He scooped me up and carried me to the bedroom. After flipping me facedown on the wide bed, he pounded into me from behind with savage force.
Thud— thud— thwack—
Only after I had taken him again and again did he finally go slack with satisfaction and collapse on top of me. Sweat dripped onto my back, and the thick aftertaste of sex filled the apartment.
Hours later, riding in Deok-hun's car along the highway toward Suwon. One hand on the wheel, the other idly toying with mine, he spoke almost casually.
"A-yeong…"
"Yes, Mister."
I turned at the sudden call. Deok-hun kept his eyes on the road as he continued in an offhand tone.
"Thanks for everything up till now. I deleted all the files."
"Ah… okay."
The declaration of freedom I had longed for so desperately. But the words that followed shoved me in a direction I never expected.
"But listen, A-yeong. What are you even going to do at university? Stand around as a sidekick next to that scrawny stick Lim Se-yeong?"
The unexpected name made my heart drop. Deok-hun snorted with a sneer and pressed on.
"Look at that guy. Can he even function as a man? Tiny frame, weak little thing. Lately he's been hanging all over Kim Hui-yeong, laughing it up—you want to play the backdrop between those two?"
His words stabbed precisely into the deepest part of my inferiority and isolation.
Se-yeong and Hui-yeong, who had grown so close lately—the bright picture they made, and me always standing one step back, shrinking into myself—overlapped perfectly.
"Just quit the whole thing and open a café with me. I'll find the spot; all you have to do is sit pretty there."
When I couldn't find words, he kept persuading me.
"No need to suck up to anyone, no need to watch those limp little guys' faces. At night you just keep satisfying me like you do now. How about it? Pretty sweet deal, right?"
Confusion churned through my head, yet strangely, a sweet temptation spread faster than any rejection. A life free of Se-yeong and Hui-yeong's side, sheltered inside the massive wall that was Choi Deok-hun alone.
Waking every morning to his heavy body heat, living submerged in the fierce pleasure he gave—the future painted itself in my mind like a vivid afterimage.
Was it salvation, or a glittering prison I would walk into of my own free will?
"……"
Instead of answering, I stared out the window. In the distance the lights of the Suwon tollgate came into view. Tomorrow I would return to being "ordinary Park A-yeong" and go back to university, yet inside me the traces Deok-hun had left still throbbed hotly.
The strange relief of hearing he had deleted the files, and the proposal that instantly filled the empty space they left behind.
In the thick scent that filled the car, I felt it in my bones: I had already crossed a line I could never return from, and perhaps I was sincerely craving that damp paradise he had offered.
The car tore through the darkness, racing as if the time left for me to return to the world I once knew was running out.