Shopping (1)
Kim Hui-yeong recommended we start with an underwear store.
"A-yeong, you don't even know what size you wear right now, do you?"
"Uh... yeah. I only ever wear sports bras."
Hui-yeong launched into a stream of advice.
"First thing is buying the size that actually fits you. And come on, it's about time you got something pretty for once."
With that, she dragged me straight into a lingerie shop.
"Even at a glance you're way bigger than average, so regular stores won't have anything. Let's get you measured here first."
Standing in front of the shop, I could see the interior through the glass doors. Lingerie of every color hung on display—simple designs, delicate floaty pieces, everything in between.
Just looking at them made my face heat up instantly.
"A-are we really allowed to just walk in...?"
I asked in a small voice. Hui-yeong grabbed the door handle like it was nothing.
"Of course. Everyone feels awkward the first time. Just think of it as leaving it to the professionals."
Ding-a-ling~
The shop was quieter and calmer than I'd expected. A pleasant scent hung in the air, and soft lighting fell over the neatly arranged lingerie.
A staff member approached as soon as she saw me, smiling gently.
"We're shopping for this young lady, correct?"
Her gaze dropped to my chest. I looked down too. I'd deliberately worn a baggy fleece, but the swell of my breasts still stood out clearly beneath it.
"Do you have a preferred size, or shall we measure you first?"
While I hesitated, Hui-yeong gave me a light shove in the back and spoke to the clerk.
"Measure her first, please, then recommend something that suits her."
The staff member took my hand and led me toward the fitting room.
Just before the door closed, I caught Hui-yeong grinning at me playfully.
Click—
The door shut and the small space fell silent in an instant. I stood there awkwardly, shoulders tensed for no reason.
The clerk pulled out a measuring tape with practiced ease and spoke softly.
"Just relax. First, let's check what you're wearing now."
"...Ah. Okay..."
My voice came out smaller than I meant it to. Following her instructions, I removed my outer layer, revealing the sports bra I always wore.
She studied the fit for a moment, then gave a small nod.
I hunched my shoulders and covered my chest without thinking.
"...Um... is something wrong?"
I asked carefully. The clerk smiled gently, as if to say it was no trouble at all.
"Not wrong, exactly..."
Her fingertip lightly indicated the upper edge of my sports bra.
"The size you're wearing right now seems a little small."
At those words I checked my reflection in the mirror. Above the bra line, the soft flesh was slightly compressed and pushed upward.
The sensation of everything being pressed and gathered inside became suddenly, vividly clear with every movement.
"...It's small?"
"Yes. The cup isn't containing the full volume."
She made a polite request in a calm tone.
"In this state it's a little difficult to get an accurate measurement..."
She paused briefly, then continued.
"Normally we'd have you try something close to your size first, but we don't currently have anything in the store that would fit you..."
"...What?"
"If you're comfortable with it, would it be all right if we measured you again without the bra?"
My face flushed hot in an instant. Heat raced all the way to the tips of my ears.
"Ah... what? Take it off?!"
I blurted without thinking. The clerk gave a small nod.
"Measuring while you're still wearing the bra you're in now makes an accurate reading difficult. Please tell me if you're uncomfortable."
I hesitated for a moment, then finally nodded very slightly.
"...Okay... I'll do it..."
She efficiently cleared the space around us and spoke once more.
"Take your time removing it. Just let me know when you're ready."
The fitting room fell quiet again.
I took a steadying breath, then raised my hands and carefully gripped the bottom band of the sports bra.
Hesitation lingered at my fingertips. But... having come this far, there was no backing out.
"...I'm ready."
I answered quietly and lifted the band. The constant pressure released in a smooth rush, and the breath that had been trapped finally opened up.
The clerk stepped closer and wrapped the measuring tape around me. The cool tape first settled gently beneath my ribs.
"You can breathe normally."
I carefully let out the breath I'd been holding for no reason.
Hoo—
With practiced hands she checked the numbers, then focused more intently as she measured higher up.
"Hnn..."
As the tape brushed against me, a small breath slipped out before I could stop it. The clerk's eyes widened for a moment before she recovered.
A pen scratched softly across a notepad. I finally couldn't hold back the question.
"...So how did it turn out?"
She took a brief breath, then answered calmly.
"You've been wearing something far too small."
She held up the chart she'd brought in and began explaining.
"You fall under this size right here..."
Her finger pointed to one spot on the chart.
75H
For a second the letters refused to register properly.
"...What?"
I echoed stupidly, only then realizing what kind of reaction I'd just given.
The clerk continued her explanation in the same even tone.
"A 75 band is appropriate, and the cup is definitely H. What you've been wearing was at least two or three cups too small."
I lowered my gaze and looked down at my chest. The name "Park A-yeong" suddenly felt real.
The events of the past few days flashed through my mind.
Is this really the time to be thinking about that seriously...?
Just then Hui-yeong's voice came from beyond the fitting room, unable to wait any longer.
"A-yeong, how did it go?"
"Ah... we finished measuring, at least..."
The clerk gave a small smile and spoke to me.
"Go ahead and get dressed, then look around outside for designs you like. You're so pretty, and with a chest that large... I'll search for anything we have in the right size."
With that she drew the fitting-room curtain and stepped out.
"...75H..."
I stared blankly at the number. It was an absurd size.
The moment I stepped out of the fitting room, Hui-yeong came right up to me.
"So... what did you get?"
I avoided her eyes for a second, then muttered quietly.
"...75."
"And the rest?"
I answered a beat late.
"...H cup."
Hui-yeong's eyes went wide.
"What? I could tell they were big, but... H?"
I cleared my throat for no reason.
"I mean, I just heard it myself... it doesn't feel real yet?"
She looked me up and down for a moment, then nodded.
"Honestly though... I get it."
"...Don't just accept it that easily."
My insides felt strangely complicated as I answered.
This was my body.
No—it wasn't my body... and yet right now it was.
Then the clerk returned carrying several bras.
"This line has excellent support, and this design feels a little more feminine. You can choose colors based on preference."
Hui-yeong immediately picked up a feminine lace design.
"A-yeong, you should start wearing things like this and dressing yourself up now."
"Ah..."
I hesitated for a moment.
Lace.
Thin straps.
Soft colors.
...It was completely different from the bras I'd been wearing the past few days.
I gently touched the bra Hui-yeong was holding.
I'm supposed to wear this?
Even so, the resistance wasn't as strong as I'd expected.
Instead... curiosity stirred.
I went back into the fitting room and tried one on. The underwire supported from below and naturally shaped everything into place.
"Ah..."
Looking at myself in the mirror, a quiet sound of admiration slipped out.
Before, I'd been compressing them to look smaller, but with a properly fitted bra the lines became sharper and clearer.
Putting my outer clothes back on over it felt completely different.
I zipped the fleece all the way up and looked in the mirror...
"...Wait."
The silhouette had changed.
The lines that used to be pressed flat and spread out now rose distinctly upward.
I turned slightly to check my profile as well.
Curves more pronounced than before.
As if everything I'd been forcibly holding down and hiding had been released, their presence was far more vivid.
I took a short breath and put on the matching bottoms from the same set.
I looked at myself standing there in only the lingerie.
"Definitely... sexy..."
It wasn't as flustering as it used to be. Still, I made a quiet promise to myself: even if I became more feminine, I wouldn't let go of my mind.
When I changed back into my clothes and stepped out, Hui-yeong looked me up and down.
"Wow."
"...What now."
"The whole look is different."
I crossed my arms for no reason and looked away.
"Stop evaluating me."
"I'm serious! The clothes fit totally differently. You're way prettier."
I fidgeted with another piece of lingerie for no reason. Hui-yeong headed toward the register as she spoke.
"Let's get a few basics, plus that lace set you're wearing."
While I was still trying to answer, she was already taking a shopping bag from the clerk.
"Uh... when did you pay?"
"While you were spacing out. Here, take it."
Hui-yeong handed me the shopping bag.
"Now we need to buy clothes that go with the underwear you're wearing."
She took my hand again and led me out of the shop.
Stepping into the crowded street, my shoulders hunched on their own.
"If you do that, people stare even more."
"...What kind of logic is that."
"Girl-world logic."
I let out a small laugh. "Girl world," huh... it still felt unfamiliar.
But little by little, the thought that this life wasn't so bad began to settle in.
"Come on, let's go look at clothes."
Hui-yeong tugged my arm. Watching her back, I quietly followed, matching her steps.
Hoping that Hui-yeong and I would stay as close as we were now, I walked after her in silence.