The Unbreakable Hold
"Noona... Noona..."
I barely manage to grab her waist and pull myself up, pouring every ounce of strength into clinging to her. My arms tremble so violently they barely respond. "Please... I don't want it to hurt anymore... Noona..."
I understand with bone-deep clarity what it means to grasp at straws. I can't bear to imagine what will happen if I let go of the body I'm holding. In this state of weakness and terror, the mind conjures only the worst possible outcomes, meticulously crafted for maximum cruelty.
"Jihyun, are you going to keep doing this?"
I feel like I'm about to burst into tears. I thought tears dried up as you grew older, but apparently my tear ducts are still perfectly functional.
"It... it really hurts. I can't take it anymore..."
The pain still radiates from where my buttocks meet the floor. The muscles and fat layers meant to support my weight aren't doing their job.
"Ha... My poor Jihyun."
Noona tries to push me back down.
"No!! I really hate this, I really do!!!"
I cling to her with everything I have, refusing to lie down. She releases her strength.
"Did it hurt that much...?"
She pulls me into an embrace.
"It hurts so much... Hic, kuhk... Please stop..."
The dam finally breaks. Tears spill from my eyes, and soon they fall from hers as well.
"I'm sorry, Jihyun... Noona must have gone too far."
"Hic, kuhk, keup... Kuhk..."
The tears won't stop.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."
She leans her weight over me, slowly lowering me to the floor. My body and mind, long conditioned to pain and fear, thrash in protest.
"I don't want this!! Please!!!"
She holds me tighter and whispers, "I won't make it hurt anymore. Never..."
"I won't make it hurt."
"I promise."
Her endlessly gentle voice keeps whispering until I gradually calm down. Still clutching her with shaking arms, I let myself fall backward. She places a hand on my chest and rises slightly.
"When you cry like that, it makes Noona's heart weak..."
She begins removing her clothes.
"I won't make it hurt anymore. Let's do something that feels good instead."
Anything is better than the pain. I feel almost relieved, as if I've been granted salvation.
"F... fuck..."
"Hah... ngh, shit! You're enjoying it too, right?"
"Hiyaaah!♡"
"I love you, Jihyun. I really, really love you. There's only you... Truly... hngh."
"...Just a little break... kuh... ngh?!"
The movement grows violent again.
"Shit... you fucking bastard, you fucking bitch! Shit! You piece of shit!"
With every curse, her hips slam down with enough force to crush me. Pleasure from the front and pain from behind twist my mind into something unrecognizable.
"You worthless trash...! Knowing your place...!!! Hngh♡"
She shudders through an intense orgasm. My own oversensitive cock follows immediately, spilling inside her. (Kke... hngh, kuhk)
Her grip is so tight I can't even make a sound. It dies against her chest.
"Ha... shit... that fucking bitch..."
After savoring the peak, she finally lifts herself off me for the first time in a while. She heads to the fridge, grabs the remaining alcohol, and starts drinking straight from the bottle.
"Puhah... Kim Jimin? That little slut whose blood hasn't even dried yet dares to covet what's mine."
She climbs back on top of me. Half the soju bottle has already vanished.
"Jihyun, you hate that bastard too, don't you?"
Noona, who rarely swore, now unleashes a torrent of vulgarity.
"That fucking bastard... I'm going to kill him..."
She downs the rest of the soju in gulps, then forces it into my mouth the same way as before. I try to push her away, but she clings tightly and thrusts her tongue inside, demanding I swallow. Even when I try to push the liquid back with the last of my breath, she forces it down.
"Ku... heek"
The soju I hate most burns down my throat. It tastes foul.
"Let's just drink. That bitch makes me sick, acting all high and mighty because of her professor daddy."
She returns to the fridge and brings back every remaining bottle.
"Since you fed me earlier, now it's my turn. Don't worry, just lie there comfortably."
She mounts me again. More alcohol enters my system and my head begins to spin.
"N... Noona, I've already had too much..."
Before I can finish, more soju is poured into my mouth. She keeps pushing until I swallow.
"Gu... heuk, kehek... kek"
"I know. You have to counsel that professor's daughter whether you want to or not, so of course you're angry. It'd be easier if we just killed her."
She continues spouting socially unacceptable words while drinking heavily.
"If that bitch acts up again, I'm really going to kill her. I mean it."
She looks at me.
"No... if I kill her and go to prison, who will take care of you..."
She pulls me into a hug and suddenly bursts into tears.
"Hic... We're so miserable, aren't we... This fucking world, shit... Hngh"
She's releasing her emotions, so I'll endure. If I stay like this, she'll get through it. If I just hold on a little longer, everything will be okay again. The violence, the sex she craves, the vicious words—they'll all eventually subside.
"Ugh... uweeek"
I clutch the toilet and vomit everything from yesterday. It feels like more comes out than I ate.
"U... ugh... uweeek"
I think I've finally emptied everything.
"Puhah..."
I flush and stagger to the sink to rinse my mouth. Listerine... A bottle sits on the counter, just like the day I first met Noona. I gargle to wash away the taste of vomit.
"Huu... ugh..."
The mirror shows a haggard face. The dark circles under my eyes have deepened, and the sight worries me.
"Jihyun, are you okay...?"
Noona's voice comes from outside the door.
"...Yeah, I'm fine."
"I'm sorry..."
"...It's okay. I'm sorry too..."
I turn and examine my buttocks in the mirror. The sight leaves me with nothing but a heavy heart.
When I open the door, Noona, who had been leaning against it, startles and stands up.
"J-Jihyun! I didn't mean to be that rough..."
"It's fine. I know."
"Jihyun... really, believe me."
"I believe you."
"Liar, you're not believing me... Please, Noona was wrong. Okay?"
"Noona, I already said I believe you. Let's stop talking about this..."
When I try to get dressed, she blocks my path.
"W-wait, Jihyun. You know how Noona feels, right? It's because I love you so much. You know that, don't you?"
"Noona, please... I already told you."
"You're not saying it properly!!!"
She screams loud enough to make me dizzy.
"Noona, I'll say it one more time. I did something wrong too, and you apologized, so I'm not upset anymore. Got it?"
"Really? Really? Promise me."
"It's true... I promise. So let me get dressed and come out."
"You're not looking at me properly. Look me in the eyes. You're really not angry...?"
"...Noona, I asked you to let me get dressed."
"You're angry, you're not even looking at me... I was wrong. Okay?"
"How many times is this just this morning? I'm exhausted too, so please stop."
"Don't get angry... Please... Jihyun, I only have you... Please..."
She grabs my legs and keeps calling my name.
"Jihyun... hm? Jihyun... Please..."
I can't take it anymore.
"I'm leaving."
"Why... why! You said you weren't angry... Noona's sorry, okay? At least eat before you go, okay?"
"Noona, you're acting really strange right now. Contact me again when you've calmed down."
"W-wait, it's the weekend anyway. We always spend it together. I can't handle it without you anymore."
"Noona, I want to stay with you too, but the things you're doing right now are exhausting me."
"Ah... you said it was okay earlier, so you really were angry? Noona's sorry. Okay?"
"Noona, listen carefully because I'm going to say this properly."
Irritation rises from the endless cycle.
"I felt sorry toward you because of Jimin, so I tried to be as good to you as possible. As a result, you got to enjoy yourself yesterday like you wanted, right? Even though I'm so bruised I can barely sit, it's fine. You forcing alcohol on me is fine too. You climbing on top and shaking your hips is fine. But ever since we woke up this morning, you've been clinging to me saying you're sorry. You being sorry is fine. But repeating the same words over and over, not listening to anything I say, and tormenting me because you're scared of your own imagination—that's what's pissing me off."
She looks up at me with teary eyes.
"I understand you're stressed because of Jimin, and I understand why you're clinging to me more because of her. I understand the rough sex and even being spanked dozens of times. But I already told you clearly."
I grab her shoulders and push her back.
"It's fine..! I'm not angry....!! Let go...!!!"
I use all my strength to pry her off.
"I don't want to!!!!"
She clings desperately.
"Jeong Soyeon, I told you to let go. Stop acting like a child throwing a tantrum and let go right now..!!"
"I'll never let go, not even if I die!!"
"Enough! I said I'm leaving...!!!"
Her grip on my thighs is so tight it hurts. No matter how hard I struggle, I can't break free.
"Hngh.....!!"
I drag her toward the door.
"Don't go!!"
Her grip loosens slightly. I seize the chance, grab my shoes, and turn the doorknob.
"Keheuk... ugh"
She wraps her arm around my neck and we both fall backward.
"You're not going anywhere, never... Understand? You're never leaving."
She tightens her arm. The carotid artery in my neck is compressed... blood flow to the brain, oxygen... slowly decreases. Consciousness... slowly fades... thoughts... stop...
"Kek, kuhek, huk, keheok... kheeeek"
The moment her arm loosens, my body desperately sucks in oxygen. She drags me to the blanket.
"Y-you tried to leave without properly accepting my apology... so I had no choice."
My breathing is still ragged and frantic.
"Heuk, huk... heok"
She embraces me from behind, pouring every ounce of her will into not letting me go, squeezing so tightly it feels like my body might break.
"You're not going anywhere. Got it?"