Education (1)
I glanced at my sister, gauging her mood. A dark emotion seeped out from behind her, heavy like the atmosphere that had sunk deep into the room. Talking too much would probably backfire. I simply followed her quietly up the stairs to her one-room apartment.
She opened the door and stepped inside, carelessly tossing her clothes and bag onto the floor. I took off my shoes, set down the bag that had been strangling me, and gathered up her scattered clothes, folding them neatly to one side.
She was leaning against the wall, clutching her head in her hands.
“Noona, I’ll just order delivery for dinner. Let’s get sushi, the kind you like.”
As expected, no answer. …It looked like we’d need some alcohol. In that state, she’d clearly have a hard time getting through tonight.
“I’ll run out real quick and grab us something to drink…”
It was a good thing I hadn’t taken my clothes off yet. I grabbed only my wallet and headed straight for the nearby convenience store. I snatched up every beer, Japanese sake, and soju that caught my eye, the ones she liked, and piled them on the counter. I also picked up two hangover relief pills from the display beside the register.
“Uh, can I see your ID?”
“Ah, yes.”
The part-timer scanned me up and down with a puzzled look. I was already used to this kind of treatment.
“Can you put it in a bag, please?”
I couldn’t leave her alone right now. I finished the transaction quickly and hurried back to the apartment.
I entered the passcode, opened the door, but nothing had changed from before. The fact that she hadn’t moved at all worried me. Her mood had to be at rock bottom, so I needed to do well tonight. Ignoring her might be the safest option, but leaving her in that state would only drag the stress out longer.
As I put the drinks in the fridge, I spoke to her gently.
“Noona, they said the delivery will be here in about twenty minutes. Let’s wash up and wait.”
“Wash.”
She spat the word out coldly.
“…Yeah, I’ll go wash up.”
I hurriedly stripped and stepped into the bathroom, turning on the shower. While shampooing, I thought things through.
I couldn’t end the fight between her and Jimin right this second. First, I had to do exactly what she wanted, give her whatever she desired, and stabilize her mood as quickly as possible. Only then could we talk and improve the situation. Yes, I knew that much.
But I was scared because I had no idea what she might do next.
Next came the body wash. She liked this scent, so I squeezed out a generous amount and lathered myself thoroughly. She often expressed anxiety and stress through sexual urges, so today would probably be the same. Or maybe, since this was an extreme level of stress, she might sink into severe depression and stay like this the entire weekend. Just in case, I washed up anyway.
I cleaned myself carefully but hurried so I wouldn’t be late.
“Noona…? I’m done washing.”
She was still frozen in the same position. Yeah, I figured.
Ding-dong! (Delivery!)
“Ah, yes!”
The food arrived faster than expected. I quickly threw on some clothes and brought the bags inside. I thought about setting them on the table, but considering she was sitting on the floor, I pushed the blanket aside and laid everything out there instead. I tore open the packaging and finished setting up the meal in a flash.
“I’ll bring the drinks too, just a second.”
I opened the fridge and took out the bottles that had chilled nicely, one by one. I also grabbed the hangover pills I’d left on the table.
Finally, she moved. She picked up a can of beer and cracked it open immediately.
Hisss—
“Ah, Noona. Take this first before you drink.”
I held out the pill.
“Move it.”
I moved it.
“Okay, I should open one for myself too.”
Hisss—
And I should take a pill too—
“Put it down.”
I put it down. I’d take it next time I drank.
She emptied an entire can of beer in an instant. Good thing I’d bought way more than enough.
“You drink too.”
“Ah… I am drinking.”
“Finish it.”
She shoved sushi into her mouth and spat the words out coldly. For now… I drank.
The refreshing carbonation that had felt pleasant going down my throat gradually turned into pain. As the alcohol hit my system all at once, my body began to panic. I couldn’t possibly finish it in one go, so I paused for a moment.
“Khaa… ugh. Still, this beer tastes pretty good, right?”
“Finish it.”
“Yeah…”
I drank again. The sight of the beer can emptying was strangely welcome. The flow of beer down my throat slowed, and finally it was gone.
“Pwahh… There. Done?”
I picked up one of the shrimp sushi rolls I liked and ate it. She snatched another can of beer.
Hisss—
We ate while drinking again. The way she attacked the food—whether she was eating or forcing it down—was worrying.
“Noona, you’ll make yourself sick eating like that. Slow down a little…”
She glared at me. Clearly not in the mood for me to speak properly.
“Then feed me.”
“Huh…?”
“I said feed me.”
She closed her eyes and opened her mouth. I moved to sit beside her and placed each piece of sushi into her mouth one by one. The plates slowly emptied.
“It’s good, right? Your favorite…”
“Alcohol.”
“Okay.”
I carefully brought the beer can to her lips and tilted it slowly, letting the liquid flow into her mouth. A few drops trickled down her neck.
“Uncomfortable.”
“Sorry.”
“Give it to me mouth-to-mouth.”
“Mouth-to-mouth?”
“Mouth-to-mouth.”
“How…?”
She snatched the can from my hand and chugged it. Then she grabbed the back of my neck, pulled me in, and crashed her lips against mine.
“Ugh… mmmph!”
She poured the alcohol from her mouth into mine. It was too much; I nearly choked, but I forced it down.
“Got it now?”
“…I got it.”
I lost count of how many times we passed alcohol mouth-to-mouth after that. The huge amount I’d bought was already more than half gone. Kissing her deeply while feeding her drinks had left my own head spinning with intoxication. Every time our tongues met, hers pushed in deep, forcing me to swallow again and again. I had clearly exceeded my drinking limit long ago.
“Noona… wait a second.”
I set the empty sushi containers on the table and sat back down.
“You’re still going to drink more…?”
I was starting to feel dizzy.
“Hurry up.”
“Okay…”
I filled my mouth with sake and brought my lips to hers. She drank me in like she was devouring me—sake, saliva, even the air from my lungs.
“Puh-hek… kuhk!”
I fell backward, gasping for breath. My head spun worse with every round.
“You’re listening well today.”
Finally, a proper sentence came from her. It seemed her mood was slowly improving.
“Kuh… kuhk, ahem. Mmm… sorry.”
“For what?”
“For not telling you properly.”
She let out a small laugh.
She patted the spot beside her, calling me over.
“It’s not that. I’m not mad at you.”
When I sat down next to her, she pulled me into her arms.
“How could I ever hate you, Jihyun?”
Wrapped tightly in her embrace, I felt warmth—no, heat. The alcohol had made my senses abnormal. Still, it was clear she was hugging me with love.
“Our Jihyun… you must have had a hard time too.”
She stroked me gently. It looked like her mood had improved somewhat. She pulled me closer. I surrendered my body to her.
“Still, we have to do what we have to do.”
Huh…? She laid me face-down across her lap.
“Noona, wait! I was wrong…!!”
“Yes, I know. And I’ve forgiven you for everything.”
She pulled my pants down.
“N-Noona, but why—?”
She pressed down on the back of my neck, preventing me from lifting my head.
“Jihyun, you took developmental psychology too, didn’t you? Love requires discipline. You understand that I’m doing this because I want to teach you what’s wrong, right?”
Slap!
A sharp sting exploded across my buttocks. Even so, my instincts told me this was nothing compared to what was coming.
“Hek! W-Wait—”
I struggled, but she pinned me down.
Smack!
“Kaa… ugh.”
“It hurts my heart more than my hand. Having to do this to our beloved Jihyun…”
Smack!
“It h-hurts!! It really hurts, stop!!”
Every time I tried to get up, she pushed my head back down. And then—
Smack!
“Kk… mmph.”
She kept striking me relentlessly so I couldn’t move properly. The searing pain made my body tremble; I tried to twist sideways to slide off her lap.
Smack!
“Ah… hok!”
Whenever the pain made me curl up, she dragged me back into position.
Smack!
“H… ahk… huuk.”
Tears began leaking out little by little.
Smack!
“Kk… uuugh.”
Smack! Smack! Smack!
Smack!
I couldn’t even scream anymore. I just flinched every time her hand landed.
“Jihyun, do you understand how Noona feels?”
She lifted me up, supporting me. She took a photo of my backside in the mirror and shoved the screen in front of my eyes. The bright red areas, the deep bruises—there were more damaged spots than untouched skin.
“It hurts me just as much as it hurts you… Now you understand, right?”
Her words weren’t registering properly in my brain, but I nodded anyway. I didn’t want to hurt anymore.
“I… I understand. Please, just stop now…”
She hugged me tightly.
“Okay, I’ll stop now. Noona’s sorry…”
I felt drops of water falling on my head. She was crying too.
“But… there’s still so much left to do, you know? You have to endure it properly, okay?”
She tightened her arms around me. My head spun. All strength left my legs.
“N-Noona…”
When she loosened her grip, my body slid down.
“Noona, I was wrong…”
“Noona, Noona…”
On my knees, I rubbed my face against her thigh.
“Noona… I really messed up… huuk, huuk, I really did…”
She looked down at me with pity and wiped her tears while watching me.
“Noona, I’ll really do better…”
“Yes, I believe you.”
“I mean it, I really mean it!! I’ll really do well, Noona!”
“Good. Let’s both do really well.”
“Noona, please…”
“There, there. I know.”
She lifted me up and laid me back down on the blanket.
“Noonaaa… huuk, huuk.”
“Stop crying. It’ll only make things last longer.”
She climbed on top of me. Then she kissed my forehead with what seemed like genuine affection.
“Jihyun.”
“…Huuuugh, it really hurts… it really does…”
“I love you.”