A Fool Who Can Only Grow (1)
I'm reborn as the ordinary Seon-ah. From now on, I'll talk like a normal person.
"Any more questions?"
"I don't have any."
"No... not you, Flat Editor! From the angel viewers...! If none, I'll ask one myself."
Truth is, there are no questions, so I'm just fishing. I hope someone asks.
Luckily, questions poured in. I picked one I liked and read it out.
"Are you really pretty?"
"…"
No response. Did she not hear?
"Rea-l-ly pre-tty?"
I enunciated slowly and loudly. The sound must've been buried! Saying it clearly and loud got a reply.
"I wouldn't know."
"What do you mean you wouldn't know! Deception."
I was flabbergasted. Let me explain it perfectly.
"Flat Editor, let me describe your face. Back in school... total delinquent girl vibe. Super authentic!! The kind that goes 'gasp'. You know that feeling of always snapping selfies in front of a full-length mirror with your iPhone?"
"No... I've never heard that before…"
Was it too much from my perspective? Should've described it more naturally? Not a normal person view? Let me try again slowly.
"Um... so, you know delinquent girls? With those eyes... argh, hard to explain. Just dolphin pants, snapping pics in front of the full-length mirror every day. That's the vibe. Oh! Oh! Like the noona working at a PC bang. Get it? Instant understanding, right?"
Saw a good chat.
"Marlboro. Kekekek. Chocolate at home. You get it? Feel it? Super short skirt too. Got it? Coming to mind?"
Finally, viewers who get me!
"That's not me. Non-smoker... and my skirts were long."
"Polite delinquent."
"No... I've never been like that."
Flat Editor's voice was full of injustice. Of course you haven't! I was talking about looks, not your life story. Delinquents are bad, obviously!
"Of course! Delinquents are bad! Bullying friends! That's not okay!"
"Yes... I was a normal student."
"I believe you! But~ it's just the outward vibe! Absolutely not a delinquent! Flat Editor isn't a delinquent. It's just the face vibe!!"
In case of misunderstandings, I corrected. Flat Editor isn't bad.
"Okay, that's it for looks! Any more questions?"
"Ooh! 'Curious about Editor-noona's first impression of Seon-ah~' Great question!!"
Now I'm curious too. How did Flat Editor see me? Super curious. Did I exude boss vibes? Overwhelmed by my presence? What if she was breathless from how cool I was? So exciting. Hurry, boss. Tell me about awesome Seon-ah~!
"Can I... um... say it?"
"Of course! I spilled everything! Totally fine! For real."
"… It was... um... first, the shock was…"
"Yess~"
Hurry with the boss aura, coolness, swag, epicness... kyung kyung... tell me all! Ehehe. So expectant. Super expectant. Doom doom doom doom...!
"Not cute at all... voice didn't match at all, total shock…"
"Kya!!! "
Totally means super cool, right? I'm so moved. That's it. As a boss, this reaction is perfect.
"First, overwhelmed by height. At least 170cm... super tall."
Don't know how to react. Thing is... I don't know my own height. Haven't measured lately... Gotta do it later. But nice. Tall, whoa, jealous, kya, huge. Feels good? Really does!
"Really? More... more!"
"And... features more defined than expected... no, that's it! You're a VTuber..."
"No, keep going!"
More! Praise more! Please... more. More praise!
"Still a VTuber... gotta protect identity."
"No... I'm a fake VTuber. So hurry..."
My validation craving exploded. I'm a fake VTuber anyway. Don't even know what VTubing is. Just did it 'cause it sounded fun! So praise me quick!
"Still... gotta respect VTuber rules."
"No! Praise me now!"
I boldly told the hesitant Flat Editor. Declaring again. I'm a fake VTuber. No RP like real ones, no VTuber content, no fancy moves... just imitating 'cause I liked it. So I can say it proudly.
"Praise my red pill quick. Quick!"
"Uh... well..."
"What, too ugly so nothing to say?"
I'm pretty. If not... trouble. Forced praise?
"No, no. Not that. As a VTuber... you're super pretty."
"Not enough. More detailed. Super hype. Quick!"
I urged desperately. End it like that and I won't sleep tonight. Details now!! Boss's order!
"Um... first impression... shocked 'cause not what I imagined. Thought super fragile and cute... totally not. Super defined... shocked no makeup but features clear... really pretty... tall too... proportions amazing…"
"For real?!"
Ehehe. Praise feels good! So happy.
"Yes... really."
Praise bar full today. Good enough. Sweet dreams tonight. Heehee.
＊＊＊
Good stream yesterday? Slept like a baby. Woke refreshed. Felt like I could do anything today.
"Fighting today too!!"
Did my routine: 2 hours cafe browsing, eat, check Discord messages... Then YouTube for today's upload.
Today's video: Our Final Story.
Checked it after ages. Zombie game finale. Fun, no boring parts. Cuts edited out, filled with our chit-chat. Even laughed at my lines. Comments all praise, right?
Opened comments. Spotted the standout one...!
Grudge-filled reply... Hit bone and flesh, speechless. I monitor too... nailed all my flaws. True fan. Sub-reply hurts too.
My issue... yeah. Admit. Can't deny. Chronic problem. Focus one thing, neglect others. Worst in games. Viewers grind teeth if I suck, can't take. So hyperfocus game for good play. Problem: can't talk. All nerves on game. Ignores chat too. Why call lingering game viewers Jjang Partisans? They endure it all. Ditch games? Then no content. Good stuff gets stale. Need fresh looks... hard to invent. So games. Built-in variety from devs. Can't quit.
"Hmm…"
Pondered seriously, decided. Game today. But think while gaming. Only way. Straight charge.
Opened notepad. Game start, alarm every 5min... (peek chat every 5min, interact). Talk during game (5min check). Greed bad. Enough for today. Yeah. Won't avoid forever? Gotta try to grow. Ha, grew again. I'm a fool who can only grow.