Jjang-ham and the Feisty Cat (2)

I made a brand-new character.

His name is Jjang-oppa. Ehehe.

I'd wanted to do this for real. Me, at university… that cool kind of guy. You know the type.

Church oppa. Senior oppa. That whole thing.

Of course, I've never even set foot near a college, so I don't really know. But YouTube's full of that stuff.

I'm gonna try it. I can totally pull it off. I put in so much effort (in my imagination) back in the day. I can do this!!

"Where's my baby kitty~? Oppa's looking for you~ We've got class together~"

"Why are my babies like this? In front of Oppa, you have to use nice words. You're gonna get scolded~!!"

Ehehe. This is actually so fun. Stuff I'd always wanted to say.

Like… the things I'd wanted to say if I ever went to college. Insane, right?

"Ehehe. That's right. It's Oppa~ My babies have to listen to Oppa carefully. That's how you become pretty little flowers."

Well? Wasn't my line good? Touched, right?

"Huh? What'd I do? Are my babies scared Oppa's gonna get stolen? Scared my feisty kitty's gonna charm me away? Shaking in your boots?"

I was so into it I started bouncing my shoulders to the beat.

This is legitimately so fun. Don't I seem like… an alpha male? Don't I seem cool?

This was the life I'd dreamed of!! Ehehe.

Girls on both arms, and when I go, C'mere!!, they just come. Ehehe.

Laughter kept bubbling up. I couldn't hold it in. I'm so happy. Watching YouTube so hard really paid off.

"Anyway, I should go see my kitty. Oppa's bringing some churu treats~ Ehehe."

"Into debt? No… if it's like that…"

Our chat's donation power is way too high… these aren't people who should be getting treated like this.

This… is sincerity. I could feel their sincerity.

Okay. Fine. Then… I prepared for this too. I studied this with the viewers way back when.

For real. Growth power is terrifying. Terrifying.

"Alright then. I, uh… is that thing still at the café… that. I felt all of your sincerity. That thing I learned way back… the… nonbinary transgender cisgender MTF agender… graygender androgyne… neutrois. I'll do that."

No… how is this a power struggle? America has a lot of genders. That's a fact. What a world, where stating a fact becomes a staring contest.

I have nothing to say.

That said—having nothing to say is one thing. I have zero intention of changing.

Back and forth, back and forth… like, like… you know. You can't just do that kind of thing.

Riding in Nem-mo's taxi, Raming laughed.

"Wow. You're popular."

"Hahaha."

"There's even an article. People are looking for you."

"Hahahaha… I guess so~ Hospital, right?"

"Yes. Please take us to the hospital."

"Got it~"

Only silence filled the taxi. That silence stretched all the way to the front of the hospital.

What broke it was none other than—

"Ohhh!! There you are, my baby kitty!! Oppa's here!!"

—Seona's entrance.

"Baby. Oppa. Oppa. Jjang-oppa."

"Someone you know?"

"I've never seen this person before~…"

"Baby!! You promised to marry Oppa!! What's that called again? En… engagement. Right, my kitty and Jjang-oppa are getting married."

"Oh. You two look good together."

"Ehehe. Ehehe. Really? Oppa's just, like, oing. Oing. So strong. Ehehe. Just, just wraps her right up, y'know? Ehehehehe."

As Seona chattered away ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠excitedly, Raming fought back her laughter and said,

"Wow. Just wraps her right up?"

"Oing. My, uh. My kitty's super feisty. Oing. A feisty little cat."

"Hahahahahahahaha. Super feisty?"

"Oing. Just. Super feisty. In Oppa's eyes she's so cute. Just completely. Oing."

"How old are you, Oppa?"

"Huh? What's age got to do with love."

"Are you in your sixties, Oppa?"

"Oppa is, huh! Do I look well-aged? Ehehe. My way with words is pretty well-aged, yeah."

The more Seona babbled on in delight, the louder Raming's laughter grew—and Nem-mo's words simply vanished.

Nem-mo's chat, faced with Seona:

"Um… I don't know that person… I'm gonna go~"

"Where do you think you're going? Oppa's here? Should my baby hold Oppa's hand and let him hear that feisty kitty voice of yours? Meow. Meow. Shall we go listen?"

Seona coolly climbed into the front passenger seat.

"Uh… u-huh."

"Ehehe. My baby. Mwahhhhhhh!!"

"Kyaaaaah. What are you doing!!!?"

"Shy little thing. Ehehe. Oppa just did that 'cause he likes you so much."

"Kya. You two look great together. Oppa's so sweet."

"Ehehe Oppa comes through when it counts. Mwahhhhhh. Covered in spit. Ehehe."

"Hahahahahahahahaha. Oppa's got a lot of love in him. Wow hahahahahaha."

Seona got back out of the taxi and looked at Raming, who was just laughing and laughing.

She looked at her long and hard. Kept sending her those honey-dripping eyes.

"Oppa's right side is empty. You want in?"

"Excuse me? Me?"

"Yeah. Your laugh's nice. I want to keep you next to me and breathe you in. How about it? Ehehe."

"I… have hospital business, so you two go ahead and look good together~"

"Ah… okay. Bye, pretty one. Ah. Before you go, can I get your number? Oppa will, ahh. Grab you an iced Americano and swing by."

"I'm fine. I'm leaving."

Seona watched Raming's retreating back and smirked.

"Aww. Oppa stamped his eye-print on you. I'll come find you later~"

Seona climbed back into the passenger seat. She slowly turned her head and looked at Nem-mo with warm eyes.

"Baby. Where should we go? Want to go get some iced coffee?"

"Hahaha… I…"

"You're not uncomfortable, right? Then aww. Mwahhhhhhhhh."

"Kyaaak!!"

"Does Oppa's kiss feel that good? I'll do it again. Mwahhhhhhhhh."

"Eek!! No. Stop."

Look at her dying of happiness. Studying how to pick up girls on YouTube really paid off.

Today I'm going to turn Nem-mo-nim into a perfectly well-behaved woman.

I'm going to unleash every last thing I learned from YouTube.

"Baby, Oppa will keep his eyes on the road while he drives. Where are we going?"

"Um… Oppa… you say…? Who are you~?"

So feisty. So cute. Makes me want to kiss her again.

With a girl like this, ehehe. Complete happiness.

I'll just break her spirit completely. I'll make my kitty nice and gentle.

I saw it. How to Tame a High-Spirited Woman. Hehe.

"Oppa. The man who loves his baby, I suppose?"

"Ahh…!! Please stop. Don't do that~"

"Got it. Okay. Oppa gets it, baby."

My baby's sulking right now. I can feel the sulk. Jjang-oppa can feel it.

Why would that be? Hmm. What is it? Hmm. Hmm. Ah!! I got it. She's sulking because I was hitting on Raming just now.

Ehehe. Jjang-oppa, expert on women's hearts. To discover this…

Isn't that cool? You met a cool guy. There's no cool guy like me anywhere!!

"Oppa is sorry. Yeah. I'm sorry."

"For what~?"

"You got mad earlier because Oppa talked to that Raming fox-girl or whatever. Oppa knows women's hearts well. I'm sorry for talking to another fox-girl when my baby was right here~!!"

"…"

Looks like the anger's gone. Why am I so good at this? I figured it out right away.

Jjang-oppa's even quick on the uptake.

Jjang-oppa is truly the coolest man. An oppa who knows every woman's heart.

"Baby. Want another kiss?"

"Ah… no~"

"Got it. Tell me when ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠you're not mad anymore."

Jjang-oppa is an oppa who even has grit and patience. I can wait for everything.

I can wait until my kitty's not mad anymore.

That's the kind of oppa I am. Ehehe.

"Three… two… one… not mad anymore?"

"No~"

"Five… two… one… not mad anymore?"

"Not at all~"

"Ten… nine… six… three… not mad anymore?"

"Khuh… hff. No~"

"Fifteen… ten… four… one… not mad anymore?"

"Sss… no~"

"Thirty…"

"Argh. Stop. Stop it~"

"Seconds weren't working? Should we do minutes?"

What a difficult woman. I've never seen a high-spirited woman this sulky on YouTube. This was purely a lack of study power.

I should have ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠studied harder. At the most important moment, my study power fell short.

I thought I'd learned everything… I really was a fool.

I grew again. This is how you grow.

"Yu Seona, it's okay. You're doing well. You're doing well. You just have to keep learning. It's okay not to understand women's hearts. You just have to learn!! Let's go, let's go."

"Pffhehehe. Ahh you're seriously so cute~"

Huh? Out of nowhere? What? Did I mess up again? I genuinely don't know.

"Out of nowhere?"

"What's out of nowhere~ You just said Yu Seona it's okay… you're doing well. You said that~"

"Ah… ah!! That was my inner monologue. How did you hear that?"

"What inner monologue. You said it out loud."

"Huh?"

I never did that. No idea. My kitty just overheard Jjang-oppa's inner thoughts, that's all. Jjang-oppa absolutely never spoke ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠his inner thoughts out loud.

My baby, you know Oppa's heart so well. That's right.