Jjang-ham and the Feisty Cat (1)

The game itself wasn't scary at all. The only terrifying thing was my own skill level.

How is this so hard? Why do horror games even have puzzles?

I'd been aiming for the classic bit — slap a palm on the screen, jump-scare hits, and then, Aah!! Seona's scared!! Aaaaaah!!

Chat goes lololol, perfect content. That was the plan.

I never saw this coming.

"Guys… I genuinely don't get it."

What am I even supposed to do? Is a puzzle just allowed to drop in out of nowhere? At least give me a hint.

I don't know. I don't know!!

Just let the horror jump out and— ugh. No. I can't do this. I have no idea.

"I… I'll do it tomorrow."

I'd steeled myself to get flamed, and instead the viewers are happy about it.

Kh… I'm sorry. For four hours… according to chat, it was "puzzle edging," "puzzle stroking," "strangle that puzzle b*tch already"… the kind of unhinged language that just kept flying out of them like it was nothing.

Honestly, I was pretty broken too.

I was really going to first-try clear this… but puzzles? That's not the deal.

You know I can't do these and you still throw puzzles at me!! That's just mean.

Puzzles… I need to practice ahead of time. This is a chronic condition.

Everything else is fine. Puzzles are the hard no. Without prep, I will never, ever solve them.

I don't understand them!! And not understanding them… that's not my fault, okay?

Tomorrow I'm studying so hard my brain melts.

"S-so then!! I'll finish GTA and then clear the whole horror game series!!"

Uh… that wasn't it? Now I'm confused.

I scratched my bangs. Don't you guys like horror games?

"Ah… I'll practice the puzzles beforehand… Me. I'll just do the horror. Aah!! Seona's scared!! Aah!! That part. I'll do that…"

Ugh… normally, if you show up prepped, people flame you for spoiling the fun and call you a spoiler junkie. That's the healthy baseline.

I really played this like an idiot. I was supposed to take the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠heat and absorb some constructive feedback.

I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my lip.

Fine. Practice ahead of time. Practice properly and do the puzzles right from now on.

I closed the horror game and logged into GTA.

"I'm sorry… kh. Going into GTA now."

I'm memorizing every bit of this humiliation… no, wait. I need to write it on a sticky note right now.

I don't put things on sticky notes unless they're truly important.

Only major events go on there.

That's how it works. Ah, the Post-it stuck next to the monitor is the real deal. Something I have to keep. That kind of learning.

I grabbed a sticky note and a pen and wrote, in big letters:

I stuck it next to the monitor.

"Right. Let's do what I'm good at."

I muttered it under my breath… Yeah. Me.

Haa… Honestly, I was confident about horror games. I just never expected the puzzles.

I don't know how to connect two pillars!!

There they go again with the weird comments. When did I ever say I was going to kill Nem-mo!!

I would never do that.

I actually want to get closer to Nem-mo. Yeah. I'm in awe of how deep she sinks into her worldbuilding. I want to learn from her!!

She keeps RP even when she doesn't have to.

She's completely different from me. I'm a three-day wonder.

Whatever I start, lasting more than three days is hard. I just… don't have grit, I guess.

But Nem-mo holds it all the way through. That endurance alone is something I can't help but admire.

"I'm… making an announcement. I want to get close to Nem-mo. I want to call Nem-mo my master."

I want to learn her RP power.

I'm serious. My motto is VTuber. I want to become a VTuber.

"I want to do VTubing too. Not Big Seona. Not Yu Seona. I want to be the twenty-something Yu Seona who was born and raised in Seoul, Republic of Korea. Uh… ah, wait. Ah… no. That's not— heaven. Demon kingdom… uh. No. Uh… no."

Ah, so basically— ah… I picked a terrible example.

What I meant to say wasn't that, and now it's past the point of salvage.

Once again I've become the person who badmouthed VTubers. I really did want to be a VTuber, though. Sob… nobody understands me.

What a disappointing world…!!

"R-right. Going in for now. I'm immersing in RP. This is reporter Yu Seona."

Should I pull a scoop? First, one article.

"Breaking breaking absolute f*cking breaking news. What should we eat today?"

As soon as I typed it, a notification chimed. Ehehe. Let's check.

The line I'd written — Breaking breaking absolute f*cking breaking news. What should we eat today? — had gone live as an actual article.

"Ehehe. For real though, what do we eat? That's the article."

The fact that my nonsense becomes a news story is just too funny. Ehehe.

Should I write another one? What to write. Ah.

"Breaking breaking absolute f*cking breaking news. If Nem-mo is online, please contact reporter Yu Seona. Ehehe."

It's genuinely hilarious. I felt weirdly proud, like I was someone with actual power.

More importantly, is Nem-mo even here? No reply. I sneak a peek at chat…

What am I supposed to do if I just want to see Nem-mo? I asked because I miss her.

And to check if she's still in RP.

Plus the poll… I'd already said I'd report on it out in the open.

I need to respect the viewers' opinions.

"Oh. It's… Motteok. Yeah, Motteok, hi."

"Reporter. Why are you looking for Nem-mo?"

"I'm covering a story on Nem-mo. I decided to do it out in the open."

"Wait, weren't you never going to forgive Nem-mo? You're straight-up trying to kill her."

"Kill her? I respect Nem-mo. You saw her, right? Uh… how she holds RP all the way to the end. I watched that and got genuinely moved. Starting today, Nem-mo is my master. Starting today, I'm going to learn from her."

I'm one hundred percent pure… higher purity than gold, genuine pureblood sincerity.

So why does this always get spun the other way?

My room just wants to paint me like that. I've learned a lot, actually.

I'm not playing along anymore.

"I'm not doing reporter stuff. I'm just going to trail after Nem-mo and learn RP. Starting today, me too — yoyong. Yoyong. I'll do it yoyong. Yoyong."

I wish people would just accept my sincerity.

This kind of thing always makes me so frustrated. Can't you just take my pureblood sincerity at face value?

If you don't, do I catch a disease or something?

"I'm declaring it starting today. My relationship with Nem-mo is now that of master and disciple."

"Jjang-ham. There's something I'm reeeeally curious about. Did you script this?"

"Script? Script what?"

"Um… so in Jjang-ham-speak… did you prepare a script?"

"A script? Me? Well, yeah. I have game scripts. I diligently read the wiki and get the root lore down. If I don't read the root lore beforehand, the story doesn't even land. I've reached the point where I need spoilers to enjoy things. I only feel at ease when I know everything from an omniscient viewpoint."

"No. Not that kind of script. I mean, did you and Nem-mo agree on this."

"Nem-mo? Do corporate streamers even need to agree on stuff like this? I… I'm an indie, so…"

Wow, corporate streaming is really strict.

What, you have to write a script and get approval just to talk?

That's so uncreative. Scripts… matter, sure. But you can still ad-lib, right?

It tanks creativity so hard… for someone like me who lives on delusion, that's a serious restriction.

"No. Not that. Argh… Jjang-ham, seriously. You're impossible. Anyway, you haven't talked it over with Nem-mo, right?"

"Talked it over? Ah…!!"

I got it. I understood what Motteok was saying.

"Ah!! So Motteok is suspicious of whether I'm already Nem-mo's star disciple? I'm going to become her star disciple starting now."

"I get it. I get it. Just don't forgive her at all. Crush her personality. Don't hold back."

"What did Nem-mo even do wrong?"

"She needs a scolding. That one's got a rotten core."

"What did she do? Was Nem-mo a bad girl? If Nem-mo is officially a bad girl, I'll punish the bad girl myself. You little!! Hah!!"

"Puhahahaha!! Hahahahaha. Perfect!! Perfect!! That b*tch is a goddamn terrible b*tch."

"Wait… Motteok just cussed…!! She really is a bad girl!! Time for me to drop Yu Seona and switch to Jjang-ham mode for a proper scolding!!"

"Perfect!! Perfect. Jjang-oppa, punish her~ punish."

Motteok's got some bun-nae in her too. Very nice.

Suddenly fragrant. Good. Then I should repay her.

I'm going full immersion. If it were anyone else, I wouldn't do this.

But it's Motteok. Motteok… tossed it to me… so I have to give it my all.

To me, my Motteok is that kind of person.

"Alright. Oppa's taking full responsibility and turning Nem-mo into a proper good girl. You trust Oppa, right? Jjang-oppa's good at this stuff. You know that?"

"Kya~ Oppa's the best~!!"

"I'll turn her into such a proper girl you could marry her on the spot. Nngh. Oppa's gonna. Nngh. Make Nem-mo so soft and sweet. Nngh. That she gets separation… separation anxi? Anxi-what? What was it? I'll give her that."

"Kya Oppa~ Separation anxiety. Anyway you're so cool!!"

"Right right. Where's Nem-mo. Oppa's gonna take that feisty cat and nngh. Make her. Nngh. Into a proper cat!! Nnngh… if she listens well she gets churu treats. Yeah. Then she'll toddle after me. Nngh."

I returned? To what? I'm just me. Nothing about me has changed?

Anyway, I'm only doing this because Motteok asked.

Yeah. If anyone else had asked — parents aside, Maru aside, Pyeong-nim aside, Raming aside, and Maem-nim also aside… — I wouldn't have done it.

"Oppa's heading out. Where's our Nem-mo cat? Oppa's looking~ Where's our feisty little cat who sees Oppa and wants to go aung. Let's hear that pretty meow, shall we? ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Aww. Aww."

"Wow…!! For real… wow."

An impressed sound drifted in from behind me. Heh. It's not hard.

Just… if you put in the effort, you can do anything.

I should teach Motteok later too.