On Becoming Maru's Loyal Knight (3)
Honestly, I felt a little disappointed about becoming the loyal knight of the respected Maru-nim. Maru-nim… she's just a kid, so an adult like me should be the one giving her headpats. Pat pat pat pat pat. What's wrong with that? It's something an adult can do for a kid.
“Sniff… sniff.” I almost teared up. I was only trying to give her headpats out of pure goodwill. I… I don't have much education. That's true. But I'm still an adult!! I'm the adult here. Maru-nim is the kid. Seon-a is the adult. Maru-nim is the kid. Seon-a is the adult. Maru-nim is the kid. Seon-a is the adult. Even if Maru-nim says she's not a kid, she's still a kid. I'm the adult. No matter how much she denies it, she's a kid. That's how it has to be. That's the only way it works.
“No, Maru-nim is a kid. A kid. Seon-a is an adult. Maru-nim is a kid. Seon-a is an adult.” I kept muttering to myself.
“Huh?”
“Maru-nim is a kid, and Seon-a is an adult!”
“Yes~ Maru-nim is a kid~”
“Waaah.”
“Not a baby~”
“If not a baby… then a kindergartener.”
“Perfect. I like that~”
“Ehehe. I should dress Maru-nim in a kindergarten uniform.”
So she's a kindergartener, not a baby. Ehehe. She'd look adorable, right? Super cute. But what do kindergartners like? Hmm… hmm… I got it. That! “Ah! Maruping!! It's Maruping, chu~” That's it, right? That has to be it. I heard it gave kids a sensational shock. It was some huge anime I saw on the news. Kids were going crazy wanting the toys. I should save up and buy Maru-nim a Maruping later. Definitely.
“Pfft. Ah~ That's right, chu~”
“Oh. You know Maruping well?”
“I know it very well, chu~”
“Oho… Then I'll buy you one later. Should I get the pink one?”
Honestly, pink was the only color I knew.
“No~ Get me Princess Ping, chu.”
“Princess Ping? What's that…”
I immediately searched it up. I thought Maru-nim had made up the Ping, but it was a real thing. What the—? How does thirty-year-old Maru-nim know about Pings? Even I didn't know. How does Maru-nim know? A young person like me doesn't know, but Maru-nim does? The RP suddenly broke. This didn't make sense. I needed an explanation time.
“Maruping… hold on a second.”
“Why?”
“Do you have a niece? Does your niece like Hachuping?”
“Me? My nieces don't watch that stuff.”
“Maru-nim, how do you know about Hachuping?”
“Huh? It's famous, isn't it?”
“No, I'd never even heard of Princess Ping. If it's famous, I'd only know Hachuping. How did you know about the others?”
Thud. No, my jaw dropped. How could this be… Shock. No… How does she know all the different Pings without even having a niece? Don't tell me… Ah. Marriageable age. Maybe she looked it up because she's at that age? But Maru-nim is a pro. She's not the type to show she's desperate to get married. Is this her real personality? Really? No, Maru-nim is a woman too? No, but Maru-nim is still a pro. A pro. The person I respect. Ugh, I have to protect Maru-nim. I'm the Guardian Ping. Maru Guardian Ping…
“I just picked Princess Ping because I'm a princess.”
“Ah, you didn't know Princess Ping existed?”
“There's such a thing?”
“There is.”
“Whoa? Really? It really exists?”
I could hear the flustered tone in Maru-nim's voice. Ah, she really didn't know? I almost misunderstood again. Our Maru-nim is a pro. Maru-nim is a proper lady who's never even held a man's hand, let alone seen a man's face!! As expected of the Maru-nim I respect. She's solid. Ehehe. That's our Great Maru.
“Oh! It really exists. What? There's a Princess Ping. That's hilarious.”
“Yes. It exists.”
“That's crazy. Everything you can think of really exists. Is there a Baby Ping too? Oh, Bebe Ping? Wow. They're all here.”
Maru-nim is a kid. Honestly, I didn't think much of it… but Maru-nim looked genuinely happy. Hehe.
“Do you like it?”
“Yes~ I like it. Shall we play the game now?”
“Ah. Yes! I'll send you an invite. But Maru-nim, is it really okay to speak casually?”
“Ah~ Of course.”
Right. Maru-nim is a real woman, so she doesn't hold grudges. She doesn't gossip behind people's backs like other women. She doesn't do power struggles like other women. She doesn't get annoyed or angry. She just laughs a lot, she's cute, she's thoughtful, and on top of that she's completely detached from material things—she's literally the goddess of womanhood. The embodiment of feminine charm. I knew I could count on her. Doubting her was a luxury!!
“Make yourself comfortable~ I'm Maru the Princess. A cool, tsundere type. A cool princess.”
“Ah… Yes. Then I'm… a super cool, amazing, majestic knight who has absorbed all the good traits.”
“Ah, then I'll change too. I'll be a noble lady. The kind from romance fantasy novels.”
Romance fantasy? What's that?
“What's romance fantasy?”
“You don't know romance fantasy? No, you really don't?”
“What is it?”
“It's romance fantasy.”
Aha! I don't watch webtoons. There are a lot of things I don't do. First of all, I really hate reading text. I prefer videos over words.
“Oh… You like webtoons…”
“I like webtoons and I read web novels too. If it's romance fantasy, I pretty much read all of them. Do you read them?”
“Web novels… novels? Those big blocks of text?”
“Kuhuh… Big blocks of text. They're fun if you read them. Try reading one later. I'll recommend some.”
No, she even has culture! As expected of a noble lady, she's educated in literature… My education is lacking… Sniff. As expected of someone so impressive. Just like the person I respect. She even reads books. Ha… I've served my lord well. But—
“It's fine. I don't read text.”
“Kuh… No. Ah… Haha… haha.”
I don't read. If someone gives me a three-line summary, I'll read it. If every novel had a three-line summary, I'd read them all. I like movies and dramas and even educational stuff to be ten minutes… five minutes… one minute long. The shorter the better. That's the kind of person I am.
“Please just give me three-line summaries later! Princess Maru!! My education is lacking so you have to summarize for me!!”
“Hahhahahaha. Ah, that won't do. You have to read it to understand.”
We played the game for about thirty minutes, and the concept kept mixing with reality. Formal and casual speech kept switching. It was really hard. I wanted to stick strictly to the RP concept from the start, but speaking casually to Maru-nim was too difficult. Speaking casually to someone I respect… even if it was just RP, it was tough. Cold sweat ran down my back, my throat tightened, and I could barely breathe. I'm really lacking. But lacking also means I still have room to grow.
“Ehehe.”
“Why are you laughing? I'm laughing with you.”
“Should I tell you? If you want to know, shout!! Waaaaaaaah!!”
“Waaaaaaaah.”
“Ehehehe. I'll tell you!! The RP was way too strict!! I'm regretting it now. Roll roll roll…”
I was honest. The RP was too hardcore. Way too hardcore for someone like me. It would've been easier if it was Maem-nim. Maru-nim's level is just too high, and she's way older, so it's hard. If she was around my age, I could've pushed through… but she's thirty, so there's this wall I can feel.
“Why? What's hard about it?”
“Ah… I'm Confucian. Do you know Confucianism? It's Eastern etiquette.”
“Yes.”
“I have to follow etiquette. Maru-nim is thirty years old.”
“Kuh… No, five years old.”
“Thirty years old.”
“Six years old…”
“Thirty years old.”
“Seven years old…”
“Thirty years old.”
“Pfft… Twenty-nine years old…”
“Yes.”
I said it firmly. Etiquette is an unchanging iron rule of life. That's how I avoid being disrespected too. If I respect others, they'll respect me back.
“So that's why it's hard? Because of the age difference?”
“No.”
“Be honest. You can be honest. Try being honest.”
“No. Right now, it's hard because I respect Maru-nim. The Maru-nim I respect the most. She doesn't gossip behind people's backs like other women. She doesn't do power struggles like other women. She doesn't get annoyed, she doesn't get angry. She laughs a lot, she's cute, she's thoughtful, and on top of that she's completely detached from material things—she's literally the goddess of womanhood. The embodiment of feminine charm. If God left only one woman behind, it would be Hi.Ma.Ru. The ultimate embodiment of all feminine charm. The person I respect the most… that's why it's hard.”
“Oh…”
“Is that all? She even buys me delicious food. She wears pretty clothes. She buys me clothes too. She goes out with me. She's so kind. There are so many things to learn from her. She's incredibly pretty. Super pretty. Maru-nim is super pretty. Red medicine… she's a perfect pass. She's the prettiest person I've ever seen. Her proportions are great too. Just amazing. She doesn't even need to be a VTuber. She could do a face cam. She's seriously that pretty. And that's not all…”
I ran out of breath from talking so much and took a breath. Maru-nim took that opening and slipped right in.
“Oh… That's amazing.”
“There's more.”
“Oh… It's fine. I get why it's hard now.”
“No… There's still more.”
There really was a lot more. I still had plenty left. At least a hundred more things.
“I have about a hundred more.”
“Oh… Don't say them all now. Save some for next time? That way the viewers will be curious too.”
“Whoa…!!”
I hadn't thought of that. So this is what broadcasting sense is. I'm really learning again. What would I have done without Maru-nim?
“My benefactor. My goddess. Love. Salvation. Hope. Help. King. Amazing. Joy. Light. Panacea. Treasure. Forgiveness. Prayer. Ecstasy. Happiness. Lively. Energetic. Fantasy. Refreshing…”
“Are you just listing every positive word you know?”
“All positive words originate from Maru-nim.”
“Kuh. Ah. Ahahaha.”
Maru-nim really is that great.
“I'm not Maru's dog. I'm her loyal knight. Maru-nim. Please give this loyal knight Seon-a a hand kiss. I swear my loyalty.”
I declared my oath of loyalty with all my heart. From now on, I was reborn as Maru-nim's loyal knight. Seon-a. Once I receive the hand kiss, I will truly be born as her loyal knight. But all I heard through the earphones was choking laughter.
“Please give me the hand kiss. I've sworn my loyalty.”
“Ahahaha. What happens if I do?”
“I become Princess Maru's loyal knight.”
I stared at the monitor with a serious expression. Then—
“Mwah!”
“Eek!!”
Maru-nim made a kissing sound. But this was fake. Just saying “mwah” out loud was fake.
“That's fake.”
“Huh? Why?”
“You have to actually kiss with your real mouth, not just say it. I made an oath.”
“No, but shouldn't Seon-a-nim be the one kissing my hand? You're the one who made the oath.”
“Eh?”
“Normally the person making the oath does it to their lord, right?”
“Ung?”
Really? Was that how it worked? Uh… No. Really? I didn't know!!
“No… Really?”
“Yes~ Please do it.”
She suddenly spoke in a prim tone.
“Knight. Swear your oath to me. Right here.”
“Uh… Yes! Understood.”
Now Seon-a was Maru-nim's loyal subject. Today I would swear it. I pressed my forearm to my mouth and, with all my sincere respect—
“Mwahhhhhhh.”
“Puhahaha. No, hahaha. It's covered in saliva. Totally soaked. Hahaha. Pass. Loyal knight of Princess Maru. Captain Seon-a.”
“Mwahhhhhhh.”
“Hehehehe. Stop. Stop. Hahaha.”