Guan Yu Nuna (1)
"Come out!! I heard the bastard who murdered our guys in the market yesterday is here!!!"
A hoarse, furious voice echoed throughout the market. With her booming volume, it rang out across the entire world. But... murdering people in the market yesterday? Was that about me?
"Zhang Shiping!!! I've had my eye on you ever since you started messing with Little Brother Xiao Shuang's business... If you resort to violence like this, we won't just sit idly by!!"
The woman bellowed, raising her sword high.
"Tch. One of those sword-for-hire thugs Xiao Shuang recently brought on, huh."
Zhang Shiping clicked his tongue mid-sip, his face twisting in disgust.
Aha.
This was, to be precise, a bit before the game's actual starting point.
Back then, Zhuo Commandery had two cartels, or so the lore went. Zhang Shiping's faction, running the butcher shop, and Xiao Shuang's crew, the upstart horse traders rapidly expanding their influence.
Zhang Shiping had hired thugs from Liu Bei's side, while Xiao Shuang employed outsiders like Guan Yu.
Liu Bei had peacefully(?) resolved the standoff between the two factions, forging a bond with Guan Yu in the process that led to the Peach Garden Oath. By the time the game started with the Zhuo Commandery route, Liu, Guan, and Zhang were already sworn brothers. But it seemed I'd possessed the body right before that point.
"That's Guan Yu. Don't know her origins, but her skills are the real deal. Xiao Shuang's been strutting around because of her."
Zhang Shiping spat, clicking his tongue again.
"Uncle Zhang. Sorry about this."
I wasn't really sorry, but I apologized anyway. Those three punks had picked the fight first, so I felt a bit wronged too... Still, the sparks had flown because of me.
"As they say, 'the striker pays.' I'll go sort this out myself with words."
I told Zhang Shiping. He was the best temp boss—feeding me and putting me up. Gotta stay on his good side. I'd be crashing here a while.
"Ah... yeah, thanks."
Zhang Shiping said it like he'd been waiting for me to volunteer. He was probably hoping I'd handle it.
I buckled on my sword and stepped out into the yard.
"I'm Kim Deok-su. Yesterday, those punk thugs came at me, so we settled it in a duel to the death. Got nothing to do with Uncle Zhang."
I said it straight. This was late Han apocalypse anyway. I'd just stabbed three guys in a street brawl. They'd get it. You know the vibe.
"You think we'll buy that crap?! This needs a proper judgment!!"
The aqua-haired woman called Guan Yu shouted, her face twisted in rage.
That said... why's Guan Yu a woman?
The question finally hit me. She looked like she'd been slapped with some weeb skin—only Guan Yu turned into a total babe. It stuck out like a sore thumb.
Aqua ponytail, cool beauty with a frosty vibe, and that killer figure—stacked up top and curvy all the way down. Insane.
Did I install a bishoujo mod back when I played? Nah... then Liu Bei and Zhang Fei should've turned into cute girls too. Why are those two still old dudes?
Whatever.
"Judgment, huh? By what—your word? You some kinda judge?"
Even chatting with this beautified Guan Yu was pissing me off. Who the hell did she think she was? Guan Yu's arrogance wrecked her relationships in the stories... Now I got why. Every word was infuriating. The game nailed that trait—unless she approved of you, she'd shit-talk nonstop.
"A judge? More qualified than you, I'd say."
Yup, arrogant as hell.
"You killed our guys on that butcher's orders, right? We know all about it!! Confess every detail!!"
Guan Yu snapped.
Who did she think she was, Yama King? Confess what?
Honestly, if we fight, I lose.
The status window didn't lie. Up in my field of view, above the neutral NPC marker, her level floated clear.
[Guan Yu Yun Chang]
[Wanderer]
[Level 30]
Thirty times my Level 1 ass. Overwhelming gap. Plus, as a hero unit, her level scaling crushed random mooks.
But... she was talking so damn smug, my mouth ran on autopilot.
"Even if you posture all solemn like that, your dead parents won't come back."
A dad joke slipped out. Oops. Old habits die hard...!
"Y-you bastard...!"
Guan Yu's pale face flushed beet red.
"Fine!!! You insulted me first—now I'll take your head!!!"
She roared, charging with sword raised.
I'm screwed. Level 1 vs. 30? No contest.
But backing down here was a bad move too. She closed fast—human legs were quicker than expected—and her cold steel swung even faster. Unless I was a sprint god, running meant death anyway.
Then... endure.
I shoved down the fear, raised my sword, and braced.
This was Zhang Shiping's turf. Keep fighting, and Liu Bei's guys or officials would show. Guan Yu had Xiao Shuang backing her. Full war hurt both merchants. It'd fizzle out eventually.
"Behold the might of this Guan Yun Chang!! Etch it in your skull before you die!!!"
Guan Yu narrowed the gap, slashing down.
Good she hasn't got her spear yet.
If she'd swung that long-reach signature Green Dragon Crescent Blade, I'd be toast instantly.
Claaaaang!!!
I hugged the blade to my body and blocked. Counter? Nah. Pure defense mode.
The moment I parried, I knew this world mirrored the game perfectly.
Red bar up top: HP. Yellow below: stamina.
That block just halved my stamina. It was like breath or poise—deplete it, and you'd stagger. In this soulslike game, stagger meant follow-up death.
Guan Yu's stamina dropped too.
Just like the game—her HP and stamina bars hovered above her.
Every action burned stamina. Her swing cost her some.
And the patterns are straight from the game!
I figured she'd pull fancy sword arts, but nope—pure game motions. Just way stronger.
Realizing I'd isekai'd into a Three Kingdoms-skinned action game calmed me a bit.
Cling!! Ting!! Cling!!!!
Three advancing slashes. Cling! Claaaaang!! Heavy swing follow-up. Claaaaang!! Thrusts. Basic sword combos nonstop.
I blocked, angling to deflect. No attacks from me—they'd whiff anyway.
Between strikes, I'd ease guard to regen stamina razor-thin. Game mechanics to a T. One hit ate half my bar, so constant management.
"Ooh... holding off Guan Yu for over ten exchanges."
"That hero's no slouch... but tough matchup."
Onlookers gawked, eyes wide.
Claaaaang-!!
Pure infinite defense, and we'd hit twenty bouts.
Limit soon...!
I felt her hero trait kick in.
[Azure Dragon's Ascendance]
The more exchanges traded, damage and stamina drain to foe increase proportionally.
High freedom meant NPCs dueled like this—Guan Yu's win condition. Total cheat passive. Others were strong, but players hailed this as top-tier. Simple "longer fight, stronger," huge scaling, exchange-based design. Holy trinity making her food-chain apex.
I'm done...!
Paying hard for that dad joke!
Basic patterns were blockable, but stamina drain ramped up. One block now shaved 70%. Two meant stagger.
"Not bad!! Twenty bouts against me!!"
Guan Yu grinned, raising for the finisher.
No winning this. Damn that joke!
I squeezed my eyes shut... then didn't.
Dying like a chump sucked. Last-ditch desperation—sword up, eyes locked.
Dodge.
Game had dash/rolls. Mainline was weapon-clashing blocks, but big swings could be rolled. Invincibility frames were stingy—no spam. But rolls cost less stamina than blocking.
Stamina-starved me had to bet on it.
Big wind-up...!
She overhead-raised for a vertical smash. Sidestep roll had odds.
I tensed, breath steady.
"Hiyah!!"
Her cute voice bellowed as she slammed straight down.
Dodge at blade contact. Coded it in my head, muscle memory firing—
Then everything glitched. Both our moves tangled.
Sliiiip.
Dog shit on the road—my foot shot forward in a wild slide. Cautious fighter Guan Yu mistook it for an attack, pulled her swing, backpedaled.
Our steps crossed... and I dove unwittingly into her chest.
Squish.
Trip imminent—what I grabbed to steady sealed it.
Squiiiish.
My hand felt unprecedented softness.
"Ah."
I was full-on groping Guan Yu's sword-wielding boob.
"...!"
Her face went crimson.
"G-get off...!!!"
She shrieked girlishly, collapsing in a flailing heap.
"......"
Somehow... I felt bad. Dad-joked, then sexually assaulted by a stranger? Poor Guan Yu. My heart ached a little. Seeing her like that was kinda heartbreaking.