Drunken Bonds and the Blue-Haired Storm
This was a change of pace. Liu Bei had suddenly started investing time in me, suggesting we grab a drink together.
Isn't this just polite chit-chat? Some Chinese-style guanxi? But... there was a problem with saying that out loud.
In this game, Liu Bei doesn't waste time on useless people. He might seem kind to everyone, but if he decided you were worthless, he'd keep you at arm's length. Yet here he was, closing the distance with me for some reason.
Did he like how I beat down those three thugs? No. Any decent swordsman could handle that. Besides, I already had Guan Yu and Zhang Fei levels in my corner—nothing novel about my martial prowess there. Those two were the Terminators of the Central Plains, generals worth ten thousand men each.
Thinking that far... I recalled the game's plotlines I'd played through.
This bastard... he plans to use me as arrow fodder!
That was Liu Bei's way with middling B-rank generals. He'd throw the iffy ones into the front lines of risky ops first. If they twisted their way out alive through luck and skill, then he'd acknowledge them. A real rotten mafioso.
Usually, they'd end up in pieces, bird food for wild dogs—that was the standard outcome. Surviving by the skin of their teeth might earn you a post. Take Yan Yan: total scrub at first glance, but he grew into a general through endless crises. True Shu fans would cheer for that.
Some players even made it their goal to climb the ranks in Liu Bei's rotten army. That was me. I remembered getting tons of upvotes online for my survival series under Liu Bei.
But now, isekai'd into this world, things were different. It was game-like, sure, but I was alive here. Dying meant game over for real.
I've gotta play it safe. In these chaotic times, you had to choose your allies carefully. Liu Bei was a hard no.
"My thanks for the warm welcome, but... regrettably, I'm on an errand for Elder Zhang and can't join you."
I said it with a smile.
"Zhang... ah!! That's my uncle!! Uhahat! So you've been crashing with him!!"
Zhang Fei bellowed with laughter.
Ah. Right. But... that's it, yeah? Don't read into it. Please.
"That makes us practically brothers!!"
Zhang Fei clamped my shoulder tight and yelled.
There it was!! The Chinese "brother" spam! Everything's brothers with them!!!
"Then, on your errand, we'll tag along. We were heading to pay our respects to Elder Zhang anyway."
Liu Bei said with a subtle smile.
They're coming along? I clearly turned them down. How thick-skinned are these guys?
"Yeah! Let's go! And we'll drink till we're wrecked!"
Zhang Fei roared with laughter.
"Yide!! I told you to go easy on the booze!"
Liu Bei chuckled as he scolded Zhang Fei.
And just like that, Liu Bei and Zhang Fei joined as companions. No disbanding my party on a whim—they were cursed items at this point.
"Ah, Elder Zhang needs turbid liquor? I owe him one."
The brewery owner immediately loaded up a gourd with that rank, urine-smelling brew.
"Aigoo! Hero Liu!! Thanks again from last time!"
"Uncle Liu!!"
Everywhere we went on the street, folks grinned and called out to Liu Bei. It was like greeting the local gray-area mob boss with solid ties to the townsfolk.
Liu Bei waved back with a smile each time. Zhang Fei stuck close like a bodyguard, stance rigid.
Well... from Zhuo Commandery folks' view, Liu Bei must be a godsend. He did what the officials wouldn't: formed militias to chase bandits, settled disputes, judged quarrels fairly. And per Zhang Fei, he even aided the poor.
"The one I respect most in this world is my elder brother!"
Zhang Fei muttered, high on Liu Bei fumes.
He's already hooked...! This guy's done for. Even if he lost limbs, he'd still trail after that big-eared freak chanting "elder brother." It gave me chills, like seeing a cult fanatic.
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We arrived back at Zhang Shiping's butcher shop amid the greetings.
"Uncle!! I'm starving! Feed me!"
Zhang Fei scratched his belly and hollered.
"Elder Zhang. The liquor as promised."
I handed it straight over to Zhang Shiping.
"Ah. Much obliged."
Zhang Shiping said, then spotted Liu Bei and Zhang Fei behind me.
"Hero Liu's here too! Looks like you've gotten chummy with our friend here."
Zhang Shiping grinned.
"Heh. A hero knows a hero. I'm just tagging along out of admiration for this great warrior."
Liu Bei laughed heartily.
My shoulders almost puffed up at the praise... but no. From his view, I was just a scrappy soldier who fought well without flinching. Obviously, he planned to squeeze me dry! Following Liu Bei here meant no corpse left behind.
I chanted that like a mantra to shake off his brainwashing.
"Hey!! More food on the table!"
Zhang Shiping bellowed at the help.
"Hero Liu... and you too, Yide. Eat before you go. Better together, right?"
Zhang Shiping smiled.
"No, just a quick stop. We couldn't..."
Liu Bei launched into Confucian WWE. You decline three times first. That's how it always ended up with you eating anyway.
Dessert sealed the deal—no escape. Me, Liu Bei, and Zhang Fei sat in a row.
I'd thought of eating separately... but Zhang Shiping's food was free. Had to take it.
"So! Bro! What's your name?"
Zhang Fei bellowed like shattering pottery.
Ah. Come to think of it, no one asked. In these moments, drop the real name. Fake nicknames just feel cringy later.
"Kim Deok-su."
Straight real name.
"Kim...? Folks with 'gold' as surname, huh."
Liu Bei eyed me curiously. Mobster but literate enough to get it.
"From the barbarian tribes south of Liaodong. Heh."
Rough cover story.
"Whoa, made it all the way to Zhuo? Tough break, bro!!"
Zhang Fei, max bro-vibes already, slapped my back laughing uproariously. Dude. Why.
"Indeed. My apologies for only now learning your noble name, Great Hero Kim. I'm Liu Bei of the Liu clan. Descendant of Zhongshan Jingwang of the Han imperial house."
Liu Bei dropped his creds.
"......."
Seeing it in person was kinda try-hard. That burning need to flaunt his royal blood... came through loud and clear.
"Ooh!! I'm Zhang Fei!!! Of the Zhang clan from Yan!!!"
Zhang Fei thumped his chest yelling. Same energy. Bragging about distant Yan royalty from the Warring States era... yeah. Like me as a Kim saying "I'm actually Gayageom royalty." Try that IRL: "Sure, loser."
"Grateful for this fateful meeting—let's share a cup."
Liu Bei smiled, raising his glass.
"Ah... sure."
Can't dodge a toast, so I downed it.
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Steamed meat reeking of guts, bland veggie side dishes, urine-tanged turbid liquor... by modern standards, nightmare fuel. But given my situation, it was a feast fit for kings.
Even my grudge against Liu Bei melted away—same reason.
If it'd just been me, no meat on the table. Zhang Shiping was already brainwashed by Liu Bei's beam, itching to impress. Full spread 'cause Liu Bei came bundled with nephew Zhang Fei.
Alright. Play nice, keep distance. My stance solidified.
"Urpcha!!! Kim!! Let's dance!!"
Zhang Fei, fully lit, grabbed my shoulders and flailed.
"Ow!! That's dancing?"
Booze in me too—I was hyped. Past life peeking at TikTok hotties dancing? Amateur hour! Watch this—Naruto run, whatever, I'll crush it!!!
"Uhahat! Kim!! You got moves?"
Zhang Fei laughed, spinning me around.
"Hahaha."
Liu Bei watched with a warm smile.
Mood hit, drinks flowed. We hurled in an alley corner—cozy trio barfing symphony.
"Uhahat. Ants swarming our puke!"
Ants scurried over our mess, scavenging.
"Like the common folk. Each diligently fulfilling their role."
Liu Bei philosophized mid-retch.
"Bro!! What kinda bullshit is that!!"
Zhang Fei roared laughing.
Yeah. Booze talk: mostly nonsense. But hilarious in the haze. Gazed at the ground, ant-watched... ragged on bandits... passed out.
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Next day. Woke clutching my throbbing head.
"Lord Liu and my rotten nephew headed out early. Off gallivanting at dawn."
Zhang Shiping, cleaning our mess, chuckled.
Yeah. We trashed the place. Felt bad.
"You must've wrecked your gut hanging with Zhang Fei. Take the day off..."
God-boss even fretting over employee hangovers. That's Zhang Shiping.
Wait, better treatment than my old world? But... gotta work. Grind cash, prove my worth.
And hauling heavy loads bumps strength a bit. Not like sword swings, but daily grind builds muscle.
"Nah. Hair of the dog while working."
I grinned.
"Uhahat! Good answer!"
Zhang Shiping beamed, pleased.
Heading out to clear half-rotten beast carcasses again...
"The bastard who cruelly slaughtered our men yesterday—show yourself!!!!!!!"
A shrill woman's voice echoed from afar.
What the...? Glanced up. Unknown woman stood there. Striking blue hair... like a Three Kingdoms gacha skin slapped on. Sword in hand, radiating quiet fury.
Who the hell is she?