Even Hannibal Folds One Hand, Varus Two Hands - 3
“To a hero, age is just a number, wouldn't you say?”
Cao Cao, brimming with confidence, rattled on with irrelevant chit-chat for a while.
He'd come here for business, but listening to his TMI was making my head throb.
"You're way too transparent, Chancellor."
"Even parents and children calculate in their heads—shouldn't I show even more courtesy to my Governor of Xuzhou?"
"In that case... does bringing me in as a concubine mean there's some other motive?"
"It's exactly as I said. When I bestow my favor, I embrace even my enemies. Don't doubt my intentions."
Cao Cao was smug as hell. He had that 'bend or break' vibe, but he wasn't easy to handle.
“If you actually took me as a concubine, some really fun shit would go down.”
“Funner than this? Haha!"
“Hohoho...”
*Cut the nonsense and speak plainly.*
“I'll pass. How can you say such ridiculous things, Chancellor?”
"Was my sincerity lacking? This isn't a joke. Was my hospitality insufficient?"
I shook my head.
“It just sounds absurd.”
"Then tell me what you want. You say you need neither honor nor wealth—what on earth does the Governor desire?"
He's offering me the moon on a platter, and honestly, it piques my curiosity.
"But why do you value me so highly, Chancellor?"
"Looking purely at results, isn't it obvious? Speak your desire. I'll grant anything."
Cao Cao seemed dead serious.
"I have no desires."
Cao Cao, who'd offered more than five sacks of rice, let out a frustrated sigh.
“What's lacking that you say such things? I welcomed you lavishly because you came to surrender... What other reason could there be to come here?”
My head throbbed again.
Whoa... he's right on the money.
This wasn't just signaling a truce. It was a clusterfuck where my body moved before my brain to buy time for our army's retreat.
Choo thinks I came here to defect.
Ah... now I get why the conversation's gone off the rails. Puzzle solved.
"Chancellor."
"Speak."
"Do you know why I came all the way here?"
"To right the world and pursue greater ambitions, didn't the Governor come here?"
Hearing his answer confirmed it.
What lunatic charges into the enemy's HQ yelling 'kill me!'?
His thinking was perfectly rational and efficient, so he assumed I'd come to surrender.
That's why we're in this bullshit situation... Time to set it straight. People don't know unless you tell them. Make my intentions crystal clear.
“I'm not here to surrender. I've come to this lion's den staking my neck.”
“How bold! What displeases you so? Speak. I'll make it right.”
My head started pounding.
“No, Chancellor. I'm telling you for the second time: I'm not here to surrender.”
“Hey now! Don't frustrate me, Governor—state your demands!”
“Third time.”
“Making me say it twice! Haha!!!”
Cao Cao laughed heartily.
I could read the meaning behind that laugh, and it gave me chills.
Fair enough. A pumpkin rolls in, and even I'd laugh.
“Um... I brought General Zhang Liao with me?”
“Your sincerity touches me deeply, Mengde thanks you. Zhang Liao may be a defeated general, but his loyalty runs deep—he's one I trust. Such a gesture elevates your virtue in my eyes; you've completely stolen my heart!”
His endless TMI only solidified my suspicions.
“General Zhang Liao is here as my negotiator. Surely you don't think...”
I was about to say he saw him as tribute, but Cao Cao cut in.
“Of course! I've accepted your sincerity deeply—didn't I say I want him as a concubine? With such a wise wife to scheme for the world by my side, how reassuring!”
What do I do?
Why doesn't this guy listen?!
“Let's discuss that later.” I played it cool, and he toned it down too. "Then speak your purpose. I'm listening."
He's all ears—now's my chance.
"Your forces are abandoning the small forts and retreating, aren't they? Perfect timing. Dragging out the front line means starving troops and bigger defeats. So I came to propose...”
“I was humbled by your brilliance before. With you here in person amid my anxiety, how could I not seek your wisdom?”
Oh... finally, we're communicating.
“Hefei is occupied by Jingzhou forces. Continuing the war drains both sides—truce seems best. That's why I visited, but surely you don't think...”
Cao Cao interrupted again.
“Haha! Your cunning hasn't faded! Naturally, Hefei's army should be annihilated.”
"Annihilated?" A chill ran down my spine.
"Even if we took Hefei, sustaining the line is impossible. We withdrew only to reclaim it."
"So you'll retreat, retake Hefei, then attack again?"
He nodded. "You read the battlefield like an open palm—truly uncanny."
Whew... if I hadn't come, we'd be wiped out.
“But why do you think annihilation is inevitable?”
I figured we could put up a fight.
Sure, annihilation loomed, but the exchange ratio would be damn good.
Cao Cao's an efficiency nut. He'd value that ratio—maybe accept my request?
“You say it's not inevitable? How did you reach that conclusion?”
For the first time since our private talk, Cao Cao looked annoyed.
Time to mix in some bullshit. I'd prepped my image training!
“Soyang has troops garrisoned, and uniting with our forces in Yangyang for a push on Xu would split this massive army in half.”
"You think I'd ignore Jingzhou's forces so easily?"
"You'll prepare, of course. But my point is different."
Seeing my expression, Cao Cao seemed deep in thought.
“You'll face a dilemma: Xu falls, or half your army does.”
He looked puzzled.
“You've read several moves ahead. Care to explain how you reached that?”
“I planned from the start assuming half your forces.” I'd really thought that when devising the plan. That's why it backfired—seems like my thinking was off.
“Hmm...”
Cao Cao pondered deeply for seconds, then continued.
“It could indeed play out that way.”
?????
“Without you, I'd have faced disaster.” Just as I thought I'd done a good deed, he raised his voice. "If Liu Bei marches on Xu, Wuhuan won't miss the chance, and Han will ride the momentum. I'd misread the world's flow and suffered a great blunder."
“That could happen?”
“Wouldn't it? To you, I speak plainly: if it drags on, some disloyal soul will plot rebellion.”
Ah, rebellion. Cao Cao's iron rule stems from surviving countless plots—his paranoia born of suspicion lets him govern well. Not shadowboxing; his realm was vast, variables endless.
"That's within the realm of possibility."
"Is it? That worry kept me sleepless—your insight clears my mind."
Good is good. A little flattery wouldn't hurt.
"I'm glad. To ease that worry at its root, you must act, Chancellor."
“The root... You mean choosing between destroying Wu or Shu? Then tell me the answer.”
???
No, that's not the conclusion.
I just came to buy retreat time!
“Wait, no...”
“Speak.”
Choo had miraculous logic. The answer was preset—what could I say?
Just play along.
“Chancellor.”
“Speak.”
“You're absolutely right! That insight into the dilemma of destroying Wu or Shu—brilliant! But!!! You're overlooking one crucial point!!!”
“Overlooking? I can't ignore that.”
He bit the bait...!
“Look not to Eastern Wu, nor Jingzhou. Look to the Central Plains.”
“Central Plains?”
“Didn't you say it yourself? If someone rebels, what happens?”
Choo's full of suspicion.
Plagued by plots and assassinations his whole life, his paranoia grew even as rule stabilized. That doubt forged Cao Cao—and his kingly potential.
“Do you suspect someone, Governor?”
Time to redirect the arrow.
I'd heard a solid candidate earlier.
“Sima Yi is highly suspicious.”
Cao Cao's eyes darkened instantly.
Historical tales in Romance and Records note even Cao Cao distrusted Sima Yi.
Now I've scratched that itch...
“Sima Yi bears the stigma of Langao. Do you know that?” The reaction came fast.
"I didn't. I speak from the world's state."
Cao Cao grew serious. "No lie, no empty rhetoric. Why do you think so?"
Because Sima Yi devours Wei to found Jin, duh. Three Kingdoms final winner. But that's not the story now.
“You've pushed rule of law, suppressing inept nobles and corrupt clans.”
"I use the able, don't I?"
Records are full of such tales: who met whom, evaluations. Recommendation system.
"Spot on. Incompetents riding family prestige—infuriating."
"Heh, those clans would rage."
He seemed to like my words inwardly. Cao Cao hated recommendations—hence the Proclamation of Merit by Ability. Talent over birth. Prestigious clans naturally wary. Historically post-Yuan clan's purge, but irrelevant. Key: does he buy it?
The world is vast; can't crush every local powerhouse. So, target carefully.
"That's my point. Aren't the Sima a prestigious house?"
Cao Cao's a eunuch's adopted son. Distrusted elites lifelong. I know his complex—gotta use it.
"Think deeply, Chancellor. If rebellion stirs, who becomes its focal point?"