Sima Hui's Irregular -1
"Teacher. Zhuge Liang's daughter has arrived—may she enter?"
"You've had a hard journey. But I have one thing I'd like to ask. What was your first impression of the girl?"
"She's right here beside me. She takes after her mother so closely—it seems Jingzhou is truly blessed with fair maidens."
"Hoho… She looked that similar in your eyes?"
"Pardon? Why do you say such a thing, my lord…?"
"Enough. If there's no other business, leave Zhuge Liang's daughter and withdraw."
The man turned away with a distinctly uncomfortable look on his face.
"I take my leave."
He gave me a quiet, smiling glance with his eyes, nodded politely, and made a gentlemanly exit.
I liked that guy.
That said, I wasn't thrilled about them holding an appraisal session right in front of the subject herself.
I stepped through the door he'd courteously held open for me.
A simple thatched hall, quite spacious but with nothing but a table and chairs. It felt like a temple—more Buddhist monastery than anything.
"The road was treacherous; you must have suffered greatly."
Sima Hui looked just as I remembered him after all this time.
That beard of his, impressive enough to soak up an entire bowl of soup. His wrinkles rippled every time he smiled.
"I am Chen Soyoung."
I bowed my head politely.
There'd been that unpleasant incident in the past, but whatever. I don't hold grudges. For real.
"You might already know this, but why bow twice…?"
"Live a long life."
Sima Hui burst out laughing like he was about to choke on it, as if I'd said the funniest thing ever.
"How do you never miss the mark on expectations! Those thorns are embedded deep! I've been watching you snoop around Jingzhou all this time."
"This girl has chills."
"That's why I hoped someday you'd show up here—and today, that wish comes true!"
Sima Hui was utterly shameless.
It was the kind of statement that could cause problems, but I'd let it slide. I'm a magnanimous person, after all.
"But how exactly were you watching me snoop?"
"It may not be proper for me to say it myself, but I have a keen eye. I watched you—and those thick-thighed brutes squaring off against you."
"I have no idea when that was."
"You spoke with reason; they did not. But if it were only that, I wouldn't have taken notice of you."
"Yes. My heart's so murky, I lack patience. If someone rubs me the wrong way, my body moves first—like a hornet whose nest got poked. It happens all the time, so I truly don't know what you're referring to, elder."
That's just how the streets of Jingzhou are. Wide-open black markets where you get fleeced in broad daylight.
If there's no demand from clients or no clients at all, you pound the pavement, rubbing shoulders with every type of person and stacking up life experience. Stolen goods dealers, new-rice loans, salt resellers, mat hawkers… trading blessings and banter until it all feels warm and fuzzy.
Sima Hui watched me lost in thought with keen interest.
"You call me 'elder.' Where are you from? Where does that manner of speech come from?"
"Dunno. Do you remember your days as a newborn?"
"From that prickly attitude, it's clear you don't think much of me. So why come begging to learn from me?"
'Is the day pass free?' The words nearly tumbled out, but I swallowed them.
Come or don't—either way, no big loss. I'd come on a whim, just to get a taste.
"I overheard that talents gathered here, so I came to check out the faces. But seeing you, elder, I realize my thinking was shallow. Wasted trip."
"Uhahahaha!"
Sima Hui looked like he'd live forever. With that much laughter, he was bound to.
"Did Kongming tip you off? You act like you know my game—clearly, you heard something!"
"Heard nothing."
"Doesn't matter. You've come this far, so I must test you. From now on, you're confined here—persuade me to let you out!"
Meanwhile, Sima Hui was struggling not to crack up at the sheer absurdity of the situation.
Memories of getting played by Kongming in the past bubbled up, leaving him dying to see how this little kid would handle it.
Kongming hadn't just dragged her all the way here—he'd even taken her as his foster daughter.
That judgment proved she had real worth. How could he not be insanely curious?
"Is just standing there doing nothing your big strategy?"
"Huh? No. This is sudden. What'd you say?"
"I've confined you here—persuade me to let you go."
"Why me? You persuade yourself?"
"Yourself…? But do you think that'll work? Go on, keep tearing me down!"
Zhuge Liang had heard the test details, declared the rice here a waste, and provoked Sima Hui into a rage. Then Pang Tong and Xu Shu dragged him out.
That was Zhuge Liang's escape.
Sima Hui had already been burned once.
"But you didn't just tear me down—you trashed the whole place. Quite the ambitious tongue."
"Did I?"
"Didn't you just say you came for the wise ones, but seeing me proved they're all mediocrities?"
"Wasn't trying to be rude. You're the manager here, so that's what came out. Tough break."
"Ha! But will that strategy fly? So how now will you persuade me?"
I couldn't fathom why this elder lived so joyfully. A little envious, honestly. What a positive guy.
Sima Hui was totally hyped up.
Drop that energy into Line 1 subway, and he'd have a field day trading barbs with all the tough customers.
He seemed eager to bridge the generation gap, so I'd play along.
"Hang on, elder. Isn't the order of our talk all wrong? You suddenly told me to marry in for five sacks of rice? I legit thought you were a crazy old coot."
"Hahaha! Is that how it was? My apologies! I wanted to give you rice, but that was the only excuse I could think of!"
"Why are you yapping so excitedly? Look, elder, to be straight with you? I didn't wanna come here. Half-forced into it. Honestly, what am I gonna learn? Confucius this, Mencius that—total time sink. That's why Uncle Kongming said just kill time, no need to do anything."
"So you've already been tipped off. But that's his trick, not yours. I already fell for Kongming's once! Uhahat!"
As expected, the elder's long life gave him that seasoned vibe.
Anyone else would've gotten pissed at those words, done a sword dance or two, and bashed my head in.
"Whatever. Water under the bridge. But is it only persuasion that works? What if I just ignore you and walk out physically? Honestly, you look like a walking corpse, elder. I'm lowly-raised, short on respect but killer at offense. Bet I'd win a fight."
"Hahaha! That's an option too. But not a satisfying one. What if I locked this place with a padlock? Even if you beat me, you couldn't get out, right?"
"Beat you and frisk your pockets—key's gotta be there."
"Then I'd render the key useless before you took me down."
This wasn't even wordplay anymore.
But the elder was having a blast, so I was too.
"But shouldn't you apologize first?"
"Apologize? For what?"
"Hey, come on. Trying to marry off a kid not even ten? Ridiculous. Age gracefully, elder. I'll let it go this time—don't pull that again."
"Hahaha! You're really trying to rile me up! But stick to that attitude, and you'll never persuade me!"
This old guy's for real.
"But can I ask questions? You answer mine sincerely and all that?"
"Can't deny you that much. What's got you so curious?"
"Hey, that guy earlier? The polite one I came with—we chatted on the way. He mentioned Lady Yueying had been here. You know anything, elder?"
"Xu Shu, eh? He's spent so much time with Kongming, must be fond of you too. Calling her 'Lady Yueying' shows how close they are. Huang Yueying visited here often even before becoming Kongming's wife, sharing private talks—so it's easy to see why Xu Shu might misunderstand."
??????
"Misunderstand? What misunderstanding?"
"Ahem… Never mind. So, out of excuses to persuade me now?"
"Well, if that's how you see it, I'll draw my sword. I'm only going easy and persuading calmly 'cause I worry about you, elder."
"Persuading? You're still at it! I thought your tiny insight was laughable and you'd given up preemptively!"
"Wanna see?"
"Show me!"
Fine, he asked for it. It's for when words fail anyway. 100% win rate on Jingzhou streets.
"KYAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!"
"…Why the scream…?"
"GREAT ONE!!! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO MEEEE!! YOU CAN'T UNDRESS A GIRL LIKE THISSS!!! KYAAAAAAAA!!"
"You… RASCAL!!!"
I took off one outer robe.
"KYAAAAAAA!!! GREAT ONE!!! DON'T TOUCH THERE!!! THIS GIRL HASN'T EVEN TURNED TEN YETTT!!"
"YOU!!! HOW DARE YOU SPEAK SUCH NONSENSE!!!"
Two outer robes off.
"DON'T TOY WITH THIS GIRL!!! KYAAAAAAAA!! SPARE MEEE!! THE GREAT ONE SEEKS TO RAVAGE ME!!"
"No! I haven't laid a finger on you!!!"
"GREAT ONE!! PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON!! DON'T BARE YOUR CHEST BEFORE THIS GIRL!!!"
The moment his hand reached for my pink-pink inner layers, the door flew open.
"Master, how could you! What is this disgrace?!"
The gentlemanly uncle rushed in, scooped me up in his arms, and bolted outside.
"Xu Shu, it's a misunderstanding! A misunderstanding!!!"
I caught Sima Hui's pitiful gaze and decided to cut him some slack this once.
"We're out. That didn't count as persuasion—wanna go again?"
"…I surrender. Do it twice, and I'd lose years off my life. You escaped brilliantly after all."