Great Rift (10)
Ah...
I opened my eyes in a daze.
The lantern had gone out, so the cave was dark... but there was light seeping in from outside, a faint glow that only barely illuminated the interior.
It was enough for me to make out the vague shape of things ahead.
I was lying naked on a mattress.
And I was sleeping in Kang Juhyuk's arms, naked as well.
It looked, to anyone who saw us, exactly like we'd just finished making love... that kind of scene.
...It wasn't the first time, so this time I didn't panic the way I had when I'd woken up at the love hotel.
I didn't sit up screaming, and I didn't kick Kang Juhyuk off the bed either.
Not that I wanted to.
Sticky, languid happiness. Satisfaction.
The lingering aftertaste of a woman's happiness after pleasing a man still echoed in my head, softening my heart—but my satisfied, clear-minded brain used Blessing to sweep that thought away.
It had felt good... yeah. It was like spending a fortune on drugs and then flushing the high out in one shot.
If I wanted to feel that good again, I'd have to have sex again...
But I told myself that mental post-nut clarity was probably for the best and swung my Blessing through my mind.
I forced the thoughts that wanted to wallow in the bliss of female satisfaction back into something sane.
And once I returned to my original state, what hit me was...
"Haaah."
Emptiness. Post-nut clarity. Shame. A little depression. A hollow, drained feeling.
The period of depletion everyone said all humans felt after sexual desire was satisfied.
Last night came flooding back on its own.
"Normally, Nuna's the one with the upper hand, but during sex, Nuna's just my sex doll. Yeah. I'll be the sex doll. Use me however you want."
Hah. You insane bastard.
Were you messing with me? What were you doing? No matter how good it felt, I should've stopped that.
The regret was vicious. He was going to keep trying to pull this shit every time from now on.
Even if I wanted to stop him... once I'd given him the first sign, there was no way I could've stopped myself while I was aroused.
I should have cut it off at the start.
After that, Kang Juhyuk kept fucking me from behind like a madman. He must have come at least twice more. Honestly, the memory was hazy.
All that remained was a blurry recollection of getting pierced by his cock while making beastly whore sounds, right before I passed out.
That was what made it even more pathetic. I was a complete bitch. No different from the women who'd lain beneath Choi Eunho. That was me.
I was deeply disappointed in myself.
It was awkward to even blame this on Chae Haeun. Sure, Chae Haeun had mixed up the tumbler with my breast milk in it, but after that, what happened was between me and Kang Juhyuk.
I couldn't resist the maternal instinct that rose when I saw Kang Juhyuk looking ready to give up—no, to be honest, I didn't resist, because I wanted that vicarious satisfaction too.
Kang Juhyuk took that as a seduction and started caressing my body.
And once my body was caressed, desire welled up in me almost instantly. I was being swayed by maternal instinct, so I couldn't properly push him away or refuse him.
I kept giving in because I was afraid he'd be disappointed, that he'd get hurt.
So now I was just saying whatever he wanted to hear, telling him I wanted sex, spreading my legs for him and setting the table myself.
And on top of that, I told him that since this was something I wanted too, he could do whatever he wanted during sex.
I told him that if I was a woman asking to be fucked, then a man should fuck me properly and make me submit.
That if I was a woman who went limp the moment a cock went inside her, then he should take the lead properly and leash me.
I showed him directly, so he could feel it in every part of my body, and we had sex... intense, filthy sex.
It felt good, but... it felt good. Still. This was...
...What do you mean, just this time?
It's fine because no one knows except Kang Juhyuk? What bullshit is that... I know. I know.
I was impulsive. I couldn't beat my instincts. I was no different from Chae Haeun.
"It felt sooooo good... Juhyuk, you're such a handsome... master... ♡"
Shut up. Chae Haeun.
Unlike me, she reveled in the body's pleasure, the afterglow of climax, the marks of sex...
I ignored Chae Haeun's voice, savoring that satisfaction, that rich pleasure.
"Still, it was good, wasn't it? I was smart to keep the breast milk, right?"
...Seriously, this body is too weak.
When Kang Juhyuk first fucked me timidly, while sucking on my breasts...
Of course, I still came embarrassingly easily then too, but I wasn't being swept away like this.
If anything, it had been more like I was playing with Kang Juhyuk in return.
Even while I was getting off, I had turned him into a stupid male who'd lost all control in front of a sexy woman and could only thrust his hips.
If it had stayed like that, I could at least have kept some pride...
"Guys like Juhyuk just need a little jealousy poked at them, and they turn into such amazing masters... ♡"
Damn it. I said shut up!
Anyway, that was as far as my control went.
The moment Kang Juhyuk came once and I got a little room to breathe, he stole the leash right back and I turned into a bitch.
Just like when I'd been raped for the first time... deeply, thoroughly.
The moment a man got even a little clear-headed and started acting coercive and rough, my body slipped into submission almost instantly. I'd never even seen a bitch this good before.
I was the perfect woman for a sex novice like Kang Juhyuk. If he was gentle, I'd have plenty of room to breathe and would cradle his cock softly while still feeling everything properly. And if he got bored and wanted to seize control with rougher sex, I'd start doing nothing but moaning, my head turning stupid, becoming a lust-drunk bitch who knew nothing but cock.
Was there a more convenient sex partner than that? People always said sex was a game of conquering a woman, but this wasn't even on the level of a tutorial.
And that body was mine.
"Ugh... huh? Mm..."
She's cute, isn't she?
"...Haaah."
Idiot.
As I lifted myself up and carefully shifted into a seated position, the warm woman I'd been holding let out a confused murmur at the sudden loss and rubbed her arms against the mattress.
I almost kicked him awake on the spot.
...He looks cold. Stupid bastard, didn't you even take out a blanket? There should be one in the bag. So that's why he kept pulling me closer in his sleep.
I rummaged through my subspace and took out a blanket, draping it over Kang Juhyuk's body. Then, for an instant—
Wait.
Why am I covering him with a blanket? I thought, but honestly, it wasn't that surprising.
Maternal instinct.
My period had turned me from a blood-shedding sack of flesh into a breast-feeding sack of flesh, and the urge to care for someone had become nearly overwhelming.
...Honestly, it was less unpleasant than sexual desire or the urge to breed. If anything, there was a kind of vicarious satisfaction in being able to do for someone else what I'd wanted done to me.
To care for someone was also to make them depend on you. It was to take the upper hand.
So during this period... it was a time when pregnancy wasn't a risk, but it was also a time when it was awkward to keep Kang Juhyuk close.
Kang Juhyuk was an orphan.
Kang Juhyuk was a D-class hunter.
Kang Juhyuk was... a guy with nothing impressive about him at all. His self-esteem was low, and his need for someone to accept him was huge. If you thought about the way he acted during sex, it was obvious.
He got depressed easily because of that. He lost his energy easily too.
I don't know why, and I don't want to know why.
My maternal instinct was reacting fiercely to such a pathetic man.
If this guy came at me during this period... honestly, I didn't know whether I'd be able to refuse him.
I might be able to bounce him off at first... but if he knelt down and begged, saying there was no one else he could ask but me, begging me to take him in... ahh... ♡
No, no... don't imagine that.
Anyway. My maternal instinct would make me take him in whether I wanted to or not.
And once I took him in... my sex drive would go wild again, and I'd get aroused again.
My aroused mind started to resemble Chae Haeun.
Even when I felt resistance, I'd keep making up strange excuses and reasons to have sex.
This time too. Anyone could see I was forcing Kang Juhyuk to want it, but I wrapped it up in the excuse that I was the one who suggested it and had sex anyway.
Honestly, it wasn't good.
Kang Juhyuk... needed to rein himself in a little.
He needed to separate public from private... and because of this body's nature, even if I tried to restrain myself...
Honestly, Chae Haeun herself was proof that I couldn't.
If he could just get a little more used to sex, if he could understand that it wasn't something special...
Even if I wanted sex, I needed to make sure I could keep some control.
If he found out that because of my maternal instinct, I could seem perfectly normal one moment and then spread my pussy for him and give myself to him the next...
No, did he already know? When we went to buy supplies, he couldn't even properly reject some random man trying to hit on him with his cock already hard...
Ah. More importantly... the condoms...
Hah... the last two times, he definitely wore condoms.
My cunt was messy with dried fluids, but there was no trace of semen.
...Though the way my ass and back were sticky reminded me that he'd sprayed the condom's contents all over my ass and back.
Still, that was a relief. At least he had the self-control to use protection.
Honestly, the last two times were so little like actual sex that they might as well have been masturbation.
"It feels like it's the first real sex I've had with Nuna."
Even while knowing full well I was a bitch.
Knowing I couldn't resist once he pushed in.
He was the one who'd forced me to want it in the first place.
And then he said those hypocritical things, pretending to respect me.
...Respecting me so much that he wore a condom.
Even though I was on my period and couldn't get pregnant, condoms were still basic courtesy.
It was respect for women.
Really.
Pathetic as he was.
Trying to look considerate.
Hypocrite that he was.
Pretending to care about me.
"...Well, whatever. I can just teach him properly from now on..."
Thinking that, I stroked Kang Juhyuk's hair beneath the blanket. He had been sleeping exhaustedly for days, ever since we'd started fucking one another nonstop.
One way or another, I didn't feel like resisting this maternal instinct anymore.
What I'd thought of as vicarious satisfaction was real... honestly, it left me with a strangely warm feeling.
Petting him felt like I was being petted myself. Not because I liked him, but because I was liked...
Still, I couldn't call this normal.
It couldn't be helped. Just until the period was over... once the milk stopped coming in, I'd go back to normal.
When I went back to normal... I wouldn't be this easily tossed around by maternal instinct anymore, at least.
If I thought about it, there had been signs even before, but...
Still, I'd be able to look at things more coldly than I did now. There'd be nothing to worry about except sex.
This time, it couldn't be helped.
Who could have studied a curse like this body in advance? I had to learn it by smashing my head into it.
Next time... during my period, I shouldn't meet Kang Juhyuk.
...Well, we'd still have to meet once or twice a week since we needed sex every four or five days.
Still, I shouldn't go on Great Rift expeditions with him during my period.
I'll count the lesson from this journey as...
The fact that I realized that.
And... that thing had become a star and was showing us the way.
I had the direction now... what mattered next was moving forward.
When morning came and Kang Juhyuk woke up, I'd pretend to walk a little... and then we'd head back.
I didn't want to do this crazy milk-drinking shit with some random bunch of people. Since it had already happened, I wanted to finish it with him and be done with it.
If Kang Juhyuk dropped out, I'd wind up dragging some other guy along and turning into a milk-drinking fool all over again... honestly, I didn't want to explain this twice...
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