Teaching the Subject (6)
"..."
In the end, I chose to sit in the café on the first floor and wait.
One iced Americano. No dessert, because I wasn’t the type to want anything sweet.
If I could have gone into the top-tier lounge like I used to, watched the staff present their merchandise, and decided what to buy, then maybe I would’ve felt like having a cigarette or a drink too.
But right now, I couldn’t even get something as simple as that.
Not that it really mattered that I couldn’t use the service.
Things would be picked out by Ha Yujeong anyway. It wasn’t as if I was the one doing the shopping.
And I wasn’t the kind of person who enjoyed alcohol or cigarettes all that much to begin with.
I’d even emptied out all the booze I’d stocked at home in one sitting, and now I was wondering if I should just get rid of the wine cellar too.
It helped time pass when I drank, but I could take in endless amounts, so no matter how I looked at it, it was a waste. Refilling it was a pain, too.
Cigarettes at least gave me a brief buzz from the nicotine and a pleasant little jolt of alertness, but ever since I’d gained the Blessing, my addictions had been wiped out completely, so I didn’t even think about them unless there was something else to focus on.
The real problem with not being able to use the lounge wasn’t the lack of those conveniences. It was being exposed directly to the crowd.
For example, the blatant stares.
Even wearing a baggy hoodie didn’t hide these tits.
The sway that came from walking to pick up my coffee. The way my top shifted over my completely bare waist.
An ass that made my jeans look ready to burst, and hips that swayed from side to side even when I was just trying to keep my balance as I walked.
I drew enough attention without even trying to show it off.
Even with my hood pulled up over my head because I was too lazy to bother, it still didn’t cover my whole face.
It would be better if I had a mask or sunglasses, but I hadn’t brought any... I’d have to remember next time.
"Holy fuck... Did you just see that?"
"See what?"
"That woman. The one in the hoodie. Did you see her?"
"I can only see her back. But damn... whoa. Crazy. She’s dressed like that and still has a line like that?"
"Her face is insane, too."
If only it were my ears that were bad.
Thanks to the Blessing, my senses were ridiculously sharp, too. I couldn’t just decide not to hear things.
Women staring in jealousy. Women muttering to themselves.
Women with admiration, envy, or amazement in their voices.
Men getting hard. Men losing their minds to the sight of me. Men whispering to one another. Men, men, men.
...Hah.
It throbbed. My lower belly.
And while the gazes and voices of women filled me with an instinctive aversion, the gazes and voices of men triggered a rational kind of disgust.
Unlike instinct, rational revulsion didn’t show up as a physical reaction.
My body, on the other hand, was still whispering for me to delight in those men’s stares and judgments, to act coy and seductive.
Push my hips out more. Tug my clothes down and show off my chest and slim waist.
Tempt them more.
Disgusting.
The men themselves, and me for wanting to respond to what they wanted.
Endure it...
At least none of them were the type to come up and bother me directly.
My looks might be good, but I didn’t have the kind of power real succubi did, the sort that turned everyone nearby into a walking erection. So these were just normal reactions from people with their heads still on straight.
Ordinary men who decided, There’s no way a woman like that would ever give me the time of day, would just look and pass by.
I just had to hope there weren’t any self-absorbed idiots here who’d look at me, lick their lips, and still think they had a chance.
"Um, hello? Do you happen to have a minute?"
...And as soon as I thought that, one of those exact types showed up.
I looked toward the voice calling to me with obvious irritation.
A face that was decently styled. Hair that was decently styled. Clothes that were decently styled. An expression that was decently confident.
The very embodiment of mediocrity.
Not a failure by any means, but not a pass either. And yet, even after I’d made that judgment, my body was already reacting to the man’s voice.
"Tch."
I turned my head away and ignored him.
I only managed a small, contemptuous sound, while I barely held back the ache in my lower stomach.
My instincts were telling me to answer and tell him to sit down in front of me right away, but my pride wouldn’t allow it.
In my eyes, this guy and Kang Juhyuk were no different. Neither of them suited my tastes anyway.
Then, if that was the case, a complete stranger who might become a hassle was less appealing than Kang Juhyuk, who at least understood my situation.
Seeing that I’d glanced over him and still ignored him, the guy didn’t seem all that disappointed. He just smiled and backed off.
He carried himself like there were plenty of women in the sea, and honestly, I liked that easygoing attitude.
If the other person doesn’t seem interested, then moving on cleanly is basic courtesy when you’re hunting.
Right. Interest.
That was exactly why I’d suddenly called Ha Yujeong and told her to come to the department store and buy every single thing I’d need for women’s wear.
I didn’t have strong feelings for Kang Juhyuk.
But Kang Juhyuk had to have feelings for me.
Why? Because he’d taken my virginity. Because he’d slept with me. Because he’d held me.
This wasn’t about wanting a man’s attention. It was a matter of pride.
Chae Eunha was a woman who would disappear someday, but until she vanished, she existed in place of Choi Eunho.
To maintain the Blessing, I had to satisfy my desires. I accepted that much.
So sure, sex was fine. But I refused to be treated cheaply.
I might have to endure the humiliation of being pinned beneath a man, but I would never let that man treat me like an easy lay.
That was my unwavering rule.
I was S-class hunter Choi Eunho.
...And also Chae Eunha, carrying that power and that mind.
My worth had to remain at the top at all times.
Something desirable to anyone who saw it, yet never easy to claim.
A flower blooming on a cliff.
Whether I wanted it or not didn’t matter. Social value wasn’t something I decided for myself; society decided it.
If I wanted value in society, then I had to follow society’s rules. It made no difference whether I was a man or a woman.
Compared to everything I’d already resolved myself to do, cross-dressing was nothing.
It wasn’t a big deal at all.
.
"It’s all done."
"What? That was faster than I expected."
I was emptying my coffee while fending off the men who kept approaching me one after another—about two of them by then—when Ha Yujeong finally came striding over to my side.
Of course, it had taken a little over two hours... but the list I’d asked her to buy couldn’t have been small.
Separate from how quickly Ha Yujeong worked, the speed itself was absurd.
"How was I supposed to decide all of that myself? I picked out a few things, but for the rest I just specified the categories and asked them to choose whatever they thought was appropriate. We’re basically not working with a budget limit anyway."
"...Ah, right. Smart. You had them send everything home?"
"Yes. There was no way I could fit it all in my car. I only brought the things I picked out myself for now."
As she said that, Ha Yujeong showed me the ten or so shopping bags she was carrying, split between both hands.
"Spring and summer clothes to wear right away. Underwear. A simple cosmetics set. A handbag. A mirror. Necklaces. Shoes. Stockings. Socks. Lotion for skin care. Hair supplements. Sanitary pads..."
"You actually managed to carry all that. Fine, fine. Load it into the car and take me home. That’s enough for today. I’ll unpack it myself."
"...You will, Miss Eunha?"
"Yeah, of course."
"We should test your skin tone and how well the cosmetics suit you. I was planning to take a look once we got to your place, actually."
No, that’s a bit too much...
Sure, I’d thought I should dress myself up and raise my value, but I wasn’t stupid. I knew how to look in a mirror.
Why was she suddenly sticking so close when she’d said she didn’t want to be involved with me privately back when I was still a man?
"That should be fine, right, Miss Eunha?"
"..."
If it had been before, I would’ve cut her off and said no flat out.
For some reason, the words just wouldn’t come out.
Was it because she was offering help, at least?
It would be a hassle. Something I could ignore.
But maybe I should let her do this much.
Was that also some instinct from having become a woman?
And yet my body still seemed to find the feeling of Ha Yujeong’s hands touching me disgusting...
Still, she’d come all this way, and running errands like this had to be exhausting.
Maybe it was only fair to grant such a small request as a human being.
"Fine... okay. Just don’t drag it out too long. You’ve got until two p.m. at the latest."
"That’s more than enough."
Once I gave her permission, Ha Yujeong smiled at me like I was some small animal and headed toward the parking lot.
I didn’t know what to call this feeling.
.
"Let’s start with a shower. You said you’d still be going out, after all."
"...Right. I guess I should be a little damp, at least."
We returned to the apartment with the things Ha Yujeong had personally picked out.
She said the rest would be delivered sometime today. There were probably even more of those.
"After your shower, use this lotion and pack this on for basic moisturization..."
"Take it with you. I don’t need it."
"Pardon?"
"Have you ever seen me get hurt? Same thing. My skin doesn’t get damaged."
"...So it could be used that way too? That Blessing, I mean."
At first, she had me take out the cosmetics I was supposed to put on after showering and told me to wash up, but I cut that part out without hesitation.
No, I gave them all to Ha Yujeong.
As long as I had the Blessing, my skin didn’t get damaged.
A body that couldn’t be wounded was exactly that kind of thing.
Skin care wasn’t necessary.
The reason Choi Eunho’s skin had looked a little rough before was because of scars from the damage he’d taken before he received the Blessing, not because he’d been negligent about caring for it after the fact.
"Thanks to the Blessing... there are a lot of things we can skip."
"Nice."
"That’s a little annoying."
After that came the cosmetics.
The basic makeup meant to protect the skin was skipped for the same reason. The base layer, too...
Maybe because it was a body that had only recently been made, it was blemish-free, and the Blessing protected that body so well that there wasn’t a single flaw on the skin.
Foundation to correct the tone of the skin, highlighter and shading for contouring, powder to set the makeup.
Eyebrows, eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara.
Lip color to create the image I wanted, and fixer to improve how long the makeup would last.
"For now, something like this. Since your base is already good, you can just draw the lines and still look fine... though this would also be useful when you want a different vibe from usual."
"...So it’s like painting."
Makeup was painting on the face.
I’d known that, but now that I was actually seeing it, it was definitely true. Because it was the face, it wasn’t permanent; the products were made to be removed.
That meant sweat, oil, and outside conditions could easily mess it up. So people carried hand mirrors and cosmetics to fix their makeup throughout the day.
Since this body had been crafted by a cosmic being, my appearance was already more than good enough without makeup... but even just drawing eyeliner to create a boundary between the eyes and the skin made the whole impression sharper.
Depending on the makeup, your image could change a lot. It was useful to learn.
If someone told me to do it right now, I couldn’t. But before I went out, I’d wipe everything off and try to do only as much as I could manage.
I’d probably need to fix it once I was out anyway, so if it got to be more than I could handle, I should just remove it all.
"Let’s keep it simple. I said I’d have to live like this for a while, so I do plan to buy these things, but honestly, it’s not like I’m doing this because I enjoy it. And even this much makes me look decent, doesn’t it?"
"You’ll find it fun once you get used to it."
"Why are you so determined to make me do this?"
"If you have to do it, the sooner you adapt, the better."
...Ah. Is that so.
.