A Warmth Never Known
In his past life, Ruby had been the victim of horrific domestic abuse.
Even if the law and the world didn't brand his father a criminal, what his young body had to endure was undeniably violence. His mother was no different. Instead of warm love for her only son, she showed him nothing but neurotic irritation and cold indifference.
Because of that, Ruby had never felt a single shred of "human warmth" since the day he was born. He had thought it was merely a fantasy, something that only existed in dramas or games.
So, when he suddenly dropped into these dreadful Belnoa Slums, his very first thought was miserably simple.
'Ah. I guess I'm just someone who can never be loved, no matter where I go.'
To think I'd end up in this pathetic state even in the world of Astral Saga—a game I had played more than anyone else, a game I prided myself on loving.
But the hand reached out to him just before his breath cut out changed Ruby's fate forever.
He learned that high-quality meat could be swallowed without chewing it dozens of times, and that a fluffy bed didn't leave your back aching when you woke up.
Most of all, I realized that even someone like me could be loved.
And so, I resolved to return the love that I had, until now, undeservedly received.
When Seraphina returned late at night from the slums, her face was twisted in a terrible grimace.
Even when I gently asked her if something was wrong, she merely shook her head.
“...I think I'm just a little tired. I'm sorry, Ruby.”
I knew that expression—the look of someone trying to hide their emotions—all too well. It was the exact same face I had been forced to make every time my father beat me.
The question my father would ask me whenever he drank:
“What, you don't like your old man drinking? Wipe that look off your face before I wipe it off for you. You look like you're about to hit me.”
Whenever he said that, I would instantly wipe my face clean and force a bright smile.
Unable to endure it for even a second, I would seriously contemplate just speaking my mind—only to succumb to the looming violence and force a hollow laugh. The Seraphina standing before me now looked so painfully like the me of back then.
In my past life, I prayed every single night. I begged for help, whether it was the high school older brother living upstairs or some random passerby on the street. I pleaded with anyone to drag me out of that hell.
Of course, no one ever reached out a hand to me until the day I died. But Seraphina was not someone who deserved to be treated like that. She deserved to be loved.
So, I decided to be the one to reach out.
“Seraphina. Are you absolutely sure nothing is wrong...?”
“Ha, haha... I told you, it's nothing. The mission I was assigned recently was just a bit tougher than I expected. You don't need to worry about me, Ruby.”
Seraphina forced a bright smile. Yes, she was "forcing" the corners of her mouth up.
Having spent my entire life walking on eggshells, there was no way I could miss such an obvious lie.
The moment I realized that even Seraphina—the only person in this world I trusted—was trying to deceive me, an unidentified emotion bubbled up dark and thick inside me. A muddy, sticky, suffocating urge to bind her, an unpleasant yet thrilling sensation, began to hijack my brain.
Of course, my rational mind knew perfectly well that someone like me had no right to dare be angry with her. Even so, I decided to willingly surrender myself to this novel emotion.
Seraphina tried to slip out of the room right after answering. From the looks of it, she was undoubtedly heading back down to that dark basement she visited multiple times a day without ever telling me why.
Squeeze.
I threw my arms around Seraphina's waist from behind as she turned to leave, squeezing her with every ounce of strength in my arms.
“...Seraphina.”
She flinched. Startled by my voice, which was far colder than usual, Seraphina froze in her tracks.
“Don't move.”
“R-Ruby...? I have some urgent business to attend to—”
“If you make me repeat myself, I will never look at you again.”
“...!!”
Did she sense that I was truly angry? Or was she more terrified of being hated by me than of death itself? Seraphina, who could have easily shaken me off in a heartbeat, couldn't even lift a finger.
I murmured softly against her back.
“Seraphina. I think I might just die sometime soon.”
“W-What?! Ruby, what are you talking about?! Are you sick?! Where does it hurt?!”
The urgency of heading to the basement vanished instantly. Seraphina cried out in a panic, trying to turn her head. I tightened my grip and spoke firmly.
“I told you not to move. Just listen.”
“O-Okay...”
“There's a problem that's been tormenting me, but I can't possibly solve it on my own... so I think I might just die soon.”
“Just say the word!! Even if it kills me, I will absolutely solve it for you!!”
I buried my face deep into the crook of her pale neck, lacing my fingers tightly through hers.
“...Ah!”
As our fingers intertwined, Seraphina swallowed a startled gasp.
“It's such a shameful secret that I can't possibly tell you.”
“...How could you have secrets from me? I'm ready to listen to absolutely anything. So don't keep me in suspense, just tell me. Please?”
A sudden surge of irritation flared within me. Because you're my "sister," you're ready to hear my secrets? Does that mean I'm someone who isn't even allowed to hear yours?
“Then you tell me honestly first. Why have you been looking so pale lately?”
“......”
“You're really not going to tell me, are you?”
“...I'm sorry.”
Seraphina hung her head low like a condemned criminal. Confronted with her foolish, stubborn attitude, the dark emotion that had consumed me earlier finally erupted.
I slowly unlaced our fingers, slid my hand up, and gently stroked the tip of her pale, pointed ear.
“Ah, n-ngh...!”
“Don't move. You haven't forgotten what I said earlier, have you?”
Seraphina, whose posture had gone soft as if melting at my touch, instantly froze at my icy warning.
My pale, slender index finger began to trace the soft flesh of her outer ear in earnest. Wherever my touch lightly brushed, her ear began to flush hot.
“You teased Camilla so much about this... but you're no different, are you?”
“Ngh, R-Ruby... please don't say... such embarrassing things...”
It was thrilling. A dark, brain-numbing pleasure, completely different from the warm happiness I usually felt, began to course through my entire body. It felt like the thrilling, forbidden rush of sneaking out of bed to play video games in the middle of the night as a child.
No, the thrill of this moment couldn't even be compared to that.
“Ngh... h-hyah!!”
As if she didn't know what to do, Seraphina clamped her hand over her mouth, desperately trying to swallow the whimpers escaping her lips. Her frantic efforts to stifle her voice displeased me in a strange way.
While gently caressing her ear, I would occasionally pinch and tug at it with mischievous force.
“...Ngh, please, s-stop!!”
Tears welled in Seraphina's eyes as her entire body trembled. Seeing someone so much stronger than me crumble so helplessly under the touch of my mere fingers... was so cute and lovely that I could have fallen in love with her on the spot.
In particular, her outer ear, flushed so red it looked ready to burst, transcended mere beauty. It began to look so delicious that I wanted to bite it right then and there.
Ultimately, I couldn't hold back.
Lick—
“...!! Hyaaaah—!!”
Her knees seemed to buckle as she collapsed onto the floor, panting heavily.
“I'm going to keep doing this until you tell me your secret, so brace yourself.”
Seraphina's face turned pale with dread.
In the end, Seraphina remained slumped on the floor and meekly confessed everything. She began to bitterly blame herself, sobbing that this tragedy wouldn't have happened if she had just gone out on her usual patrol of the slums, insisting it was all her fault.
And... she confessed that she had avoided me because she felt too filthy, covered in the stench of blood, to be near someone as beautiful and pure as me.
Listening quietly to her words, I couldn't hold it in any longer and burst into laughter.
“Pfft! Bwahaha!”
“...D-Don't laugh. I'm being serious right now, Ruby.”
“How can I not laugh? First of all, I'm not some pure, clean person like you think I am. I was literally living in a pile of garbage right before I met you, remember?”
“......”
“And second of all, isn't it that dirty old pervert of a Pope's fault that the slum people got hurt and killed? Sua told me that the assassins were all sent by him.”
“...That's true, but still, if only I had gone out on patrol a little earlier...”
“If you want to play the blame game that badly, then I'm the real culprit for causing him to send those assassins in the first place. Is it all my fault, then?”
At that moment, Seraphina's eyes shook violently.
“No, it's not! Absolutely not!! Why would it be your fault?!”
I gently took Seraphina's trembling hands in mine.
“So stop blaming yourself over nothing. You're a hero who saved the people of the slums. I heard you miraculously brought back people who were on the brink of death. There are even rumors going around calling you a Saintess, you know?”
“...What? W-Where did such a ridiculous rumor come from?”
“Where else? The Belnoa Slums, of course. It just shows how incredibly grateful they are to you.”
At my comforting words, I could see the dark shadow of depression finally lifting from Seraphina's face.
This was the Seraphina I loved best. Not the dejected, gloomy version, but the confident, fearless Seraphina who looked like she could take on the world.
Unable to resist, I threw my arms around her neck as she sat on the floor.
“...Ngh! G-Get off me, Ruby!!”
“Hmph. You used to hug me even when I told you not to, so why are you pushing me away all of a sudden?”
“T-That's because you... you just did that...!”
Seraphina huffed, her face as red as a beet.
How strange. Is touching someone's ears really that big of a deal?
“T-That's not all! My e-ears... y-you licked them with your tongue!!”
“Oh, come on. Your ears were just so bright red that I mistook them for delicious, ripe strawberries.”
“...!! W-What on earth?!”
At my cheeky excuse, Seraphina's ears began to flush so hot they looked ready to explode in real-time. I half-expected steam to start rising from the crown of her head. Seizing the opportunity, I leaned in close, my face full of mischief.
“Oh?! Your ears are turning red again! Can I have another taste?”
“Heeek! G-Get away! Don't come any closer!!”
Seraphina kicked the door open and fled at a speed so blinding it was almost invisible. Although I hadn't managed to pry into the secret of the basement in the end, seeing her back to her usual, energetic self put my mind at ease.