Calm Before the Storm.
Calm Before the Storm.
Finals ended, and before I knew it, summer break had arrived.
I spent the break following Dad around to his concerts, traveling all over the place, including overseas.
And now, the tail end of break.
I was at a PC bang with Ji-su, playing ROL.
The reason we could be here alone together was that JSM security had been stationed downstairs.
"Si-yoon, no... right there... ah... no, that was good..."
"...I don't wanna play anymore..."
"No!!! I'm sorry."
Ji-su dropped her mouse in a flash and tried to soothe me.
Ji-su, who's genuinely amazing at every game, would've blown up as a streamer if she hadn't become a celebrity.
The longer our gaming sessions went, the fewer words came out of Ji-su.
And the look on her face—unable to say anything to me—just seemed so pitiful and conflicted.
I pulled out my third trump card.
Namely... self-deprecation.
"...I'm so stupid... I should delete my account... I'm just a nuisance..."
"Si-yoon~ it's okay~ we're doing this to have fun!!"
"Really...?"
When I looked up at Ji-su, she pulled my head into a hug.
"It's fine! I'll try even harder!"
As expected, my trump card always works.
That's when Ji-eun arrived at the PC bang.
"Hellooo, hellooo~"
Her bright voice rang out, and I looked over at Ji-eun.
"Ji-eun, aren't you getting married?"
"...Out of nowhere?"
"You're thirty-three... shouldn't you start thinking about getting married?"
"...I like being alone... And you... I'll make sure you watch me get married at thirty-three."
"Mm... sorry."
The older I got, the more frantic their aging seemed.
Ji-su had somehow already hit thirty.
She'd been sneaking glances at her messages with those big eyes, and the moment our attention drifted, she suddenly grabbed her phone and fired off a text with a faint smile.
The soundproof booth went quiet.
Ji-su slowly and stiffly turned her head, and when she confirmed both our gazes were on her, she gave an awkward laugh.
At a speed even Park Ji-hoon couldn't react to, I snatched Ji-su's phone.
Snatch!
"Si-yoon, no!!!"
I bolted, unlocking the phone with a passcode I'd memorized.
And the name written there in her messenger app was...
Actor Yoo Su-a, who currently exudes a heavy, commanding presence and frequently lands chaebol roles in noir films.
A long block of text, but my eyes caught only three characters in the middle of it—'I love you.'
And right beneath it, Ji-su had just written, 'Me too.'
Oh my god...
The person I'd loved...
was in love with someone else.
What was I supposed to do with this aching heart... This kind of feeling... it'd been a while.
I stopped in my tracks right there and handed the phone back to Ji-su.
Ji-su, who had some idea of my kinetic vision, went dead serious.
She apparently hadn't known I had her lock screen passcode.
"You... you saw it?"
"Yeah."
Ji-eun rushed over to me and asked.
"What is it, what is it!?"
Ji-su looked at me, quietly pressed her hands together in a pleading gesture, and begged me with her eyes to please keep it a secret.
"Si-yoon, is there anything you wanna eat? Shall we go on a date?"
"Heh heh heh... 1++ Hanwoo beef?"
"Wanna go eat it right now?!"
"Shall we?"
The thought of letting Ji-su go made my chest ache.
So, along with that ache, I was really craving some 1++ Hanwoo.
Ji-su casually called Dad and asked if it was okay to buy me a meal, and got his permission.
Dreaming had disbanded by now, but each member's individual popularity was off the charts.
The group had gathered for the first time in ages because of me.
"Si-yoon!!!"
Yua, the youngest, wrapped me in a hug.
""Wow, you've gotten so big~!"" they both said.
They might've had every right to feel hurt that I'd only met up with Ji-su, but none of the other Dreaming members were into gaming, so I couldn't help it.
Even so, we made sure to meet up with Dad at least twice a year.
It'd also been a while since they'd seen Ji-eun, and everyone laughed as they pulled her into hugs.
Ji-eun's short, so it kind of looked like she was the one being held.
The food we'd been waiting for arrived at the beef restaurant Dad and I used to frequent.
With Dad not here, the others went straight for the booze...
I sat there with only a cider in front of me, but I held it in.
Then Rije, one of the members who'd been working overseas lately, spoke up.
"Si-yoon~ wanna try a sip?"
Ji-su hurriedly tried to stop her, and I shook my head as if to say I wouldn't drink it.
"Why not?"
"Last time she drank six drops and passed out."
"Nahh..."
"You want me to show you? It's honestly fascinating."
"...Really?"
I stared at the soju glass.
"Yeah, though I'm not sure how it'll go now. Wanna try?"
Everyone must've been curious, because nobody stopped me.
But that's when they should have stopped me.
A blackout-drunk Si-yoon who didn't pass out.
By the time anyone realized the other Dreaming members couldn't handle me in that state, it was already way too late.
When I slowly opened my eyes, Dad was staring at me with a flustered look on his face.
"Si-yoon, you okay?"
I opened my eyes to find we were at JSM headquarters.
The others were standing guard beside me...
and their hair was a disaster.
"What's up with everyone's hair? Ahah."
"".....""
I felt a lightness in my head, and when I reached up to touch my hair because something felt oddly empty, I was horrified.
Half my hair was gone.
"!!!!!"
Out of the long, glossy hair that used to reach my butt, only the left side had been cut, its ends now brushing my shoulder.
The uncut part still reached my hips.
I found out later that I'd apparently said it was in my way and hacked it off with the meat scissors.
"Oh, for god's sake..."
As I sat there rigid, eyes wide, everyone around me was in a panic.
My physical abilities aren't exactly normal, so there was no way the Dreaming members could've restrained drunk me.
What happened was: I'd complained I was hot, stripped off my clothes, downed a soju glass full of soju that I'd spotted, and then immediately passed out. That was the end of it.
I ran my trembling hands through my hair, a hollow look on my face, and everyone started to worry.
"My hair... I worked so hard to grow it out..."
It was an act put on in case Dad got mad, but thankfully, he just spoke with a worried expression.
"It's okay, Si-yoon. You're still incredibly pretty, you know?!"
"H-how am I supposed to go to school tomorrow...?"
Dad smiled and said it was fine, then put me in the car and drove us to where the JSM stylists were.
In the end, I got my hair cut to about collarbone length.
But honestly, it suits me way, way more than I expected.
A slightly colder, more aloof style.
When I playfully untucked the bottom of my dress shirt and tied it up, it really accentuated my figure.
I've got a chest that my mom didn't have, so my body's got this gorgeous shape that just makes you go, Damn.
"Dad!"
He spotted me with my flat, snow-white abs out on display.
Dad looked horrified, sprinted over, and re-buttoned my clothes.
"You... don't do that...!"
"Totally sexy, right?"
"That's not something a fourteen-year-old does..."
"So it's okay when I'm fifteen?"
"Haa..."
I said to Dad, who was letting out a sigh.
"You didn't yell at them, right?"
"No..."
"Good. Don't give them a hard time. Even you couldn't have stopped me."
Dad let out a short laugh and said.
"I heard you were practically flying around that cramped room?"
"That's probably true, actually."
"Nahh..."
I swished my hair around, my first time having a bob, and Dad smiled.
"Pretty."
I answered his heartfelt words, steeped in emotion.
"I know."
Dad took me home,
and as soon as we got back, I headed straight into the shower to wash up.
The empty feeling at the back of my head was so, so weird.
I'd lived forty-five years with an undercut, but apparently, spending almost fourteen years with long hair was enough to make short hair feel strange.
I should've only used about a third of the shampoo I normally do, but habit's a terrifying thing—I squeezed out the usual amount and had to take a bubble bath just to use it all up.
After I washed up and stepped out to dry off with a hairdryer, my hair definitely dried faster now that it was short.
'So this is why Da-yeon always keeps a bob.'
I put on my pajamas and faced Dad.
"How is it?"
Dad touched my bob with an awkward smile.
"It's pretty..."
"Is it actually pretty?"
"Of course~ super pretty, see?"
I could easily guess why Dad's smile was awkward.
Now that I had a bob and looked in the mirror, I really felt like I looked so much like Mom, who'd always worn a bob.
On top of that... Mom, who had me at twenty-two and then got into the accident, was only eight years older than I am now.
Dad stared at me wordlessly for a long time, then gently ran a slightly trembling hand through my hair and gave a soft eye-smile.
As if he wanted to hide that the rims of his eyes had gone red.
I read his heart in that moment and said, looking at him,
"I'm gonna head to bed first~"
"Okay."
Out of habit, before lying down I tried to lift my hair up so it wouldn't get caught—then I remembered it was a bob and just lay down.
And it didn't take long at all to fall asleep.
Leaving Si-yoon asleep, Kim Ji-ho went alone into the room on the second floor.
It wasn't used much now that Si-yoon had grown, but he still made sure to clean it at least once a week.
He opened the wall storage compartment for the first time in a while.
It was filled with all kinds of trophies.
Kim Ji-ho picked up a photo of his late wife and gave a bittersweet smile.
"The older Si-yoon gets, the more and more she looks exactly like you..."
The woman in the photo had a bob, and in the photo right next to it, she was smiling with a happy expression.
"I'm sorry... I'm truly happy."
Tears had already welled up in Kim Ji-ho's eyes, but he was smiling brightly.
The day passed—part busy, part not even remembering what happened in the middle—and morning came.
Alpha and Beta, as precise as ever, woke me up the moment it was time for me to get up.
I checked the time and went to wake up Dad, who was still sleeping.
Dad wasn't in his room, and I knew exactly where he was sleeping.
Since I still had time, I turned on my phone.
(Me) - Ji-su, I'm rooting for you. Actor Yoo Su-a's doing great.
I thought about just turning my phone off and boiling some ramyeon, but a message came in right away.
(Ji-su) - Si-yoon!!!! Seriously, it's a secret! You can't tell anyone.
(Me) - Wouldn't it be fine with Dad, though?
(Ji-su) - D-don't tell him!!!
(Me) - lolololol I'm gonna~
Leaving Ji-su frantically messaging me, I headed upstairs to wake Dad.
Just as I thought, he was asleep in Mom's room.
I let out a soft laugh and stroked his hair.
"Dad."
His eyes were so puffy I could guess how much he'd been crying.
At my words, Dad started to open his eyes.
"Get up. Feed me."
"Okay... did you sleep well?"
He pulled my arm so I'd lie down, gave me one tight hug, and then got up.
"You gonna help me up? After you were the one who pulled me down."
After waking Dad, I was getting dressed to go hang out with Da-yeon at the Han River.
Dad was cooking while yawning, and I, thinking of messing with him,
hiked up the "girlfriend look" skirt Da-yeon had bought me to the extreme—a skirt that went all the way up to my butt line.
I covered it with my top so it perfectly looked like a tennis skirt.
"Whoa... my butt's practically showing..."
It emphasized my long, flawless, snow-white legs that radiated a healthy glow, and I unbuttoned the front of my top down to near my bra.
I looked in the mirror, and it was perfect.
For Dad, who still hadn't caught on, I planted my hands on the refrigerator in the stance right before my signature twerking move.
A chill started to settle in the air, and when I turned around, I locked eyes with Dad.
His pupils shook violently, horrified by my look—like some Japanese gyaru.
I looked back at him and grinned.
"How's this."
Before I could leave the house, I got a rare scolding from Dad—and a spanking.
And I had to pull my skirt down to just above my knees.
"This is... not okay. It's gonna come off..."
"You... try pulling something like that again, just you wait."
I was ready first, so I opened the door to call Da-yeon.
Our timing must've synced up, because there she was, right in front of me.
My butt was still stinging from Dad's swats, so I was rubbing it, and Da-yeon took one look at my changed appearance and was shocked.
"Si... Si-yoon... your... your hair..."
"Huh? Pretty, right?"
They do say your face looks prettier when you see it in a mirror, don't they.
The face I saw from my point of view, if I had to compare it to something... it seriously looked like a doll crafted painstakingly, stitch by stitch, by a true master artisan.
When my hair was long, I had an innocent, pure image that suited eye-smiles; now it gave off a completely different feel—an icy, chic kind of vibe that suited an expressionless face.
My bob was so absurdly flattering that it seemed to showcase the maximum potential of short hair on a woman.
And it went really well with my usual image, too.
"Whoa... seriously... pretty..."
"Right? It was a hassle, so I chopped it off."
"What a waste..."
Da-yeon fiddled with the ends of my hair.
"It's fine~ In about two years, it'll probably grow back that long."
"Okay!"
When we stepped outside, Kim Tae-oh was waiting, and his eyes lit up when he saw me.
That little squirt keeps pretending he doesn't like me, but he's always sneaking glances at me.
Da-yeon and I already knew that Kim Tae-oh liked me.
Da-yeon, who knows my true feelings, too...
But even so, I end up hurting him without meaning to.
And the more that happens, the more I have to take care of Park Ji-hoon, and since Park Ji-hoon knows the full story, he plays along nicely.
When I ran into Park Ji-hoon, who'd been waiting at the entrance with Kim Tae-oh, his small eyes—which at least had gotten a little bigger through surgery—opened way wider than I'd seen in a long time.
"What the! What's up with your hair?"
"Got dirty 'cause you kept touching it with your nasty hands, so I cut it off."
"The hell are you on about, dumbass."
"...Excuse me?"
"Look at her, she starts it and then gets all serious!!"
Park Ji-hoon came up beside me and touched my shortened hair.
"Get lost, you little shit."
I drove a calf kick straight into Park Ji-hoon's knee joint, and with a loud Crack!, Park Ji-hoon took damage and staggered.
"Fuck, I told you not to use the techniques you learn on me!"
"Who else would I use them on? I learn them to use on you."
"...Is that how it is?"
Da-yeon naturally pulled on a bucket hat, and I put on a mask.
Nobody would recognize me now that I had a bob.
Feeling a sense of liberation for the first time in ages, I sat at Han River Park.
"Ahh... the weather's ridiculous. Anyway, when are we eating?"
"You bastard, can you go from talking about the weather straight to food in one second? You're unbelievable."
This place was meant for Da-yeon and me to hang out while we ate, anyway.
Park Ji-hoon quickly ordered via a delivery app and then started chatting with Kim Tae-oh.
When I went to lie down on the picnic mat we'd spread out, Da-yeon tried to stop me, but I just lay there and looked up at the blue sky, where time itself seemed frozen.
In the end, Da-yeon lay down next to me.
Da-yeon was smiling, too—maybe she was feeling more of that sense of liberation than I'd thought.