Rookie Dad.
Rookie Dad.
After that day, Dad printed out every single photo he had ever taken with me and kept them.
He'd been taking so many without me realizing, enough to fill a whole box and then some.
And maybe he came to some realization, because from that day on he started taking me out to see the world more often.
Today he brought me to a certain building.
"Ta-da~ This is Daddy's studio~"
It was clean, as if someone had been using it until recently.
"Ji-ho!"
At the sound of knocking on the door, Dad, flustered, cracked the door open.
"How long has it been!?"
"I know..."
"You thinking of coming back?"
"No."
The woman outside the opaque glass door just nodded, as if she were disappointed by his answer.
"Is someone in there?... Don't tell me..."
Dad obediently opened the door, and the woman outside was beautiful.
Enough to make me lose myself for a moment.
Well, still, her looks didn't hold a candle to the Mom I'd seen in photos.
'Women these days are mostly beautiful, hmm...'
"A daughter...?"
"Yeah."
"Oh my god... that's insane... she's so pretty..."
The woman looking at me had an even bigger reaction than I did.
"Hi~ I'm your big sister, Ji-eun~"
"...If you're Dad's friend, shouldn't it be Auntie or lady..."
Ji-eun stared at me with a shocked expression.
Beside her, Dad was snickering.
"Sh...should we go with Auntie? Us?"
"Yeah."
"Phew... I almost got called an old lady at twenty-three..."
'Twenty-three?'
I was shocked by the fact that I still didn't know Dad's age.
He did look young, but I'd just assumed he had a baby face. Twenty-three, though.
"Daddy, how old are you?"
"Daddy? Does our Si-yoon not even know Daddy's age?"
"Nope."
Ji-eun glanced at Dad and spoke.
"He's twenty-six~"
I suddenly recalled what I was doing at twenty-six.
That was the age when I was out there busting heads as an enforcer for the mafia for the good of our organization's development.
That was when, at twenty-two—the age Dad had started 'raising' me—I had started training under the organization that really wanted to 'raise' me properly.
"....."
I could see how hard my young dad, barely an adult at twenty-two, must have worked to raise me.
"Si-yoon doesn't know just how amazing your daddy is, right?"
"I know the gist."
Ji-eun held out her phone, trying to show Dad off to me.
"Look at this, you've never seen it before, right~?"
I glanced over and confirmed it was a video I had already watched.
"I've seen it."
"...Oh... yeah? Have you ever seen your daddy perform?"
"Yeah."
"....."
Ji-eun shot Dad a look that screamed for help, but he pretended not to notice.
I looked at Ji-eun and spoke seriously.
"You said your name was Ji-eun, right?"
"Huh? Right."
"Then where's the Ji-eun who moved and the Ji-eun who weaved?"
The air in the room went ice-cold at my one-liner.
"".....""
"Kyahahack oh shhh—"
I burst into giggles by myself, and the whole room fell silent.
I was thoroughly enjoying myself for a good while as the two of them just stood there speechless.
Ji-eun played with me for a bit, then went outside saying she'd buy some food.
"You shouldn't tease adults."
"Okay. But it was funny."
"...Pfft. Honestly, Daddy also thought..."
"Right? Anyway, did you tell Ji-eun what I like?"
"Yep."
When it came to sweet things, unless it had that chocolate-level flavor that practically screams 'this is the definition of sweet food,' I wasn't interested.
A little while later, Dad, as if there was a song he'd been dying to write, worked on it and played it for me.
"How is it?"
"It's different from the songs you've written before, huh?"
Dad stroked my head and said,
"I'm going to do this one with Si-yoon."
"Really?"
"It'll be fun, right?!"
"No."
"....."
At my firm answer, I grinned at Dad, whose face had fallen like a puppy in the rain, and said,
"I think it'll be fun~"
"Right?!"
As if to prove there was a reason he was called a genius,
Dad managed to put together a song I could totally fall in love with before Ji-eun came back with the snacks.
"Oh..."
And as he did, he showed me, step by step, how he worked.
"Like this, and this goes like this......"
Just then, Ji-eun came back to the studio with both hands full of bags of snacks.
"Si-yoon! Auntie's back!"
Dad seemed so focused inside the recording booth that he didn't notice Ji-eun, and kept on singing.
Ji-eun set the snack bags down on the desk, sat down casually, and spoke into the mic.
"Ji-ho, that part again."
Dad nodded at Ji-eun's words.
"I thought that part was a bit lacking too. Should I try it a key higher?"
"No, try it lower."
"Lower?"
She'd only heard it for a moment, but maybe because Dad trusted Ji-eun completely,
He nodded along with Ji-eun's suggestion and sang it in a lower key.
A voice that felt hollow with emotion.
"Don't you think it got... too dark?"
"If Si-yoon's singing it with me, then her part fills in this dark feeling."
"Ah... that's great, actually?"
Watching them work while I ate snacks, it felt like a fresh experience.
In a way, it was like watching youth burn brightly.
In this peaceful space, the two of them were in full bloom.
Dad, apparently finished with his work, called out to me as I ate my snacks.
"Si-yoon, we should brush your teeth, huh?"
"Haa... what a pain."
"Did you finish all your snacks?"
"No? I think I'm not done yet..."
I expressed my annoyance with my whole body, but Dad ignored me and said,
"Shall we start after brushing your teeth?"
"Eugh... what a pain... Fine, let's do that..."
Ji-eun watched us with a smile.
Dad pulled a toothbrush out of the bag he'd brought, picked me up, and headed for the bathroom.
Everyone we passed greeted Dad, and he gave them a cursory nod as he went into the bathroom.
"Ah~"
Following Dad's delicate touch, I finished brushing my teeth and we went back to the studio.
Dad sat me on a high chair and lowered the mic as far as it would go.
"First, try singing it however Si-yoon wants."
"Okay."
I just read the lyrics like I was reading a book, and Dad was beaming with satisfaction.
"Ji-ho, this is actually pretty good, huh?"
"Right?"
I didn't want to half-ass this if I was going to do it, so I started singing in exact pitch.
""Oh...""
And then, as a counterpoint to Dad's mood, I also tried singing it with a brighter emotion.
Something like a 'cheer up, Daddy' kind of feeling, maybe...?
When I looked at Dad and saw his eyes getting red again, he forced a smile.
From the earphones I had on, I could hear Ji-eun's voice instead of the instrumental track.
—"Wow... isn't Si-yoon a genius?!"
"I know."
—"...R...right."
After finishing the recording, we listened to the song from the beginning, and it was better than I'd thought.
"This is insane...?"
"I know, it's better than I imagined."
"I can smell the money already~"
Ji-eun was sniffing the air, then she looked at Dad.
"Since I helped out, you're buying me beef, right?"
"Of course~"
After we finished recording, we ate beef with Ji-eun and got home.
Dad turned on his computer for the first time in a while, copied the song onto his phone, and played it.
"How do you do that?"
"You're curious?"
"Yeah."
Dad sat down at the computer and set me on his lap.
"You connect it to your phone like this....."
He explained for a long while.
"Was that too hard? Wanna try?"
"Yeah."
With my small hand, I grabbed the mouse, moved it around the monitor, and figured out how to save files.
Even how to find the file on Dad's phone.
"Our daughter is really amazing~"
"I know. I'm hungry, give me food."
"Really? You're hungry? Play on the computer for a bit~ You can type Neotube here and get in."
"Yeah."
Using both of my index fingers, I went on Neotube and started watching a movie review.
"Ah~ the world really has gotten better. This movie's insane."
Then, getting curious about my family's situation, I searched for Kim Ji-ho.
Endless videos... The word 'fancam' was all over the place.
Among them, I ended up watching the stage where Dad had his debut.
He looked full of nerves, but on the other hand, he also looked incredibly happy.
I went onto the green search portal and looked Dad up, and all kinds of news articles came out.
His family had originally run a restaurant business, and Dad had left their care early, saying he would pursue music.
And Dad's talent began to bloom when he met 'Jang Seong-man,' and he started composing and writing lyrics himself for the boy group he was in.
Then a dating scandal broke out; Mom had started dating Dad four years before I was born.
They must have gone through tough times, with plenty of malicious comments, but they held on and looked at each other, and ended up having a small wedding without inviting anyone else.
And then Mom got pregnant with me.
But the family's happiness didn't last long.
Mom died the moment I was born.
Dad, who lost the wife he loved so much because of me—you'd think he might have resented me,
but in the four years I could remember, the only expression I ever saw on Dad's face when he looked at me was a smile.
"Sweetie, whatcha doing~ Dinner's ready."
"Okay. I'm coming out~"
Dad lifted me up and sat me in my special chair in front of the table.
"What were you doing on the computer?"
"Food."
Dad laughed and started coaxing me.
"What could our daughter have been looking at on the computer? If you tell me, I'll get you ice cream after you finish eating."
He was obviously going to keep asking forever in this situation, so I just deflected vaguely.
"Mm... Honestly?"
"Yeah. Honestly."
I looked at Dad and smirked.
"I watched a movie review."
"What movie?"
"Alien."
"...Isn't that too violent?"
"It's not violent~ It's just, a baby came out of a person's chest like 'shlorp,' you know?"
At my description, Dad started staring at me seriously and spoke gravely.
"...You shouldn't watch things like that."
"Got it~"
I smirked and started eating.
'Today it's a bit bland, hmm.'
Dad checked that I had eaten everything, then handed me the ice cream and the remote control.
"Watch some TV~"
"Yeah."
When Dad came out to the living room a good while later, both of his eyes were red.
He sat down and called me.
"Si-yoon."
I looked at him, nodded, and turned off the TV. "Yeah."
"Shall we go up to the second floor with Daddy?"
When I nodded, Dad picked me up and headed to the second floor.
Maybe it was a room originally meant for the two of them to use; it was neatly organized around a large bed.
As if he cleaned it every single day...
"This was Mommy and Daddy's room."
Dad was so overflowing with emotion that it was almost too much; the moment he stepped into this room, his eyes grew red again.
He pushed on the wall, and a storage space appeared. The box I'd seen was in there, along with all kinds of trophies.
"These are Si-yoon's mommy's."
He opened another spot, and there were even more trophies.
"These are Daddy's."
Dad looked around for a while, then headed toward the dressing room.
A space filled with Mom's clothes.
Just looking at the accessories, I could tell.
'I was definitely born with a gold spoon.'
I nodded and looked over all the various accessories.
'Did the price of gold get way cheaper? Still, that's a lot...?'
Dad looked around, then asked me seriously.
"Si-yoon."
"Hmm?"
"If you ever have questions about your mommy, please ask Daddy."
It seemed like he'd seen my search history on his computer.
"Okay, but I don't even know what Daddy's job is?"
"....."
"So, that time we had to draw our daddy's job, I drew you cooking."
Dad nodded, as if he'd seen something in my backpack.
"...That was Daddy?"
"Yeah. I drew it well, right?"
"....."
When I changed the subject, Dad made a bitter face.
"Thanks, as always. I'll ask you next time."
"Yeah... Daddy only has Si-yoon~"
"I know."
"Wanna sleep here tonight?"
"Yeah."
I lay down on the huge bed and turned on a documentary with the remote control, which was as big as my forearm.