Touch Me and I Bite.
Touch Me and I Bite.
I finished talking with Jong-hyeon and lay down on the bed in my room at Grandfather's house.
I'd still have to tell Ji-hoon and Tae-oh that I'd revealed our identities to Jong-hyeon.
I punched the number into my phone and called Kim Tae-oh.
After a few rings, Kim Tae-oh picked up.
—"Hello..."
Tae-oh's breathing was ragged when he answered late at night.
"What, you working out at this hour?"
—"No... I'm with a friend."
"Crazy... this bastard... you're with a woman. You really do like women, huh? Did I interrupt something?"
—"...No."
Just then, a woman's voice came through the phone.
—"Tae-oh, who is it...?"
The more I grasped the situation, the colder her voice got...
"She's serious, isn't she? Ooh-la-la~ Kim Tae-oh~"
Tae-oh ignored the woman and kept talking.
—"Why'd you call?"
"I told Jong-hyeon about our secret. Just so you know."
—"Got it."
Ji-hoon might've given me grief for telling him without discussing it first.
But Kim Tae-oh had never once complained about something I did.
—"Hey... Kim Tae-oh... isn't this kind of messed up...?"
"Your girlfriend's mad."
—"She's not my girlfriend."
—"Hey! Kim Tae-oh! Give me the phone!!!"
—"Don't cross the line... Min-seo."
Unlike when he talked to me, Kim Tae-oh's voice had gone fucking frigid. I could practically see the woman flinch from here.
That bastard handles women the exact same way now as he always did.
With behavior like that, how the hell am I supposed to hand over our Da-yeon to him.
Ji-hoon and I, at least, if we got into a relationship we'd be single-mindedly devoted for a month or so, but Tae-oh, that bastard, ahem...
Look at him, completely off the leash just because he turned twenty. Honestly, from the perspective of someone who became a woman, I don't like it one bit.
"Don't treat a woman who's into you that badly~"
—"Got it. I'll apologize..."
Even so, Tae-oh listened to me fucking perfectly.
If I told him to stop seeing women, he'd quit on the spot, that's how well he followed my lead.
"Good. You did well. But, say, hypothetically. If the fallout ever reaches me... I'll castrate you? You know I'm serious, right?"
—"......."
"And don't go waving that thing around too carelessly~ it's the 21st century~"
—"Hey! Kim Tae-oh!!!"
—"Got it..."
"When you hang up, tell your girlfriend I'm your employer, and start by bowing your head and apologizing."
—"..... Got it."
"Slow on the uptake, are we?"
—"Doing it right now."
Since he was about to confirm it for me with his voice, I hung up.
I could vividly imagine Kim Tae-oh rampaging around butt-naked, and it felt like my eyes were being cursed.
That bastard, you'd think he wouldn't pick up the phone if he was in the middle of something like that.
But he probably checked and saw my name and answered.
In Tae-oh's phone, I was saved as 'Kim Boss.'
I stared up at Grandfather's house's ceiling for a moment, checked the time, and called Park Ji-hoon's unit.
—"Looking for Ji-hoon? One moment~"
"Yep~"
That was Private First Class Park's voice. Heard he was living with his phone in the barracks, supposedly having a sweet romance with his girlfriend.
—"Babe. My junior's girlfriend called, so I think I have to hang up for a sec."
...? It's not like he'd have two phones. They're probably on some kind of party line, but... Private First Class Park seemed clueless.
And whose girlfriend did he say I was...?
—"He's a junior though...? Can't you just... tell him to call later...?"
—"Sorry. But he's a junior I really care about, and I'm the only one using the phone right now, so please understand~"
—"I always wait all day just for this time too..."
Listening in on this, I was starting to feel needlessly guilty.
Her voice, thick with honey and desperate enough to belong to a wife waiting for her husband deployed overseas, was something else.
Maybe because I'd just talked to Tae-oh, the contrast felt incredibly stark.
—"Really~? Ah~ what should I do...? Then, should I sneak in a call from a payphone?"
—"You should sleep too... you said training was rough today."
—"No, it's fine~ I'll call from a payphone~ wait for me~"
—"And I'll cover the charges? Haha."
—"Sorry."
—"Whatever, okay? Just call me quickly~"
—"Yep!"
Just as I was wondering if this was how dating worked nowadays, I heard Private First Class Park's voice.
—"Ah! You've been waiting long! I'm sorry. I'll put him on right away."
Look at how his voice completely changed.
He was drawing a line like he was dealing with a superior officer... I could feel it right through the phone.
After waiting a moment, Park Ji-hoon picked up, sounding excited.
There shouldn't be anything for him to be excited about taking my call...?
—"Uh! Mom! Why'd you call?"
From the sound of snickering around him, Private First Class Park must've tricked Ji-hoon.
"Oh, yeah, son."
—"Ah, shit."
Click.... click.... click....
That ungrateful bastard. In the past, I practically nursed him at my bosom, that motherfucker.
When I called again, it was rejected immediately.
I fired off a text, fast.
-You really wanna die...? Pick up.
When I called again, Park Ji-hoon answered.
—"What."
"You really wanna die...?"
—"So, what is it."
Maybe this bastard thought the fence called the military was protecting him, because he was starting to get all disrespectful again like the old days.
"Haha... fine, live your life diligently, however you want. Got it? Let's just live our own separate lives now."
—"You really turned into a total girl, did our widdle Tti-yoon get all pouty again!?"
Okay, yeah. Cutting ties completely just wasn't my style after all.
My style was a definitive punishment...
"Ji-hoon. Live just one more year. Then come on out."
The moment I hung up, Park Ji-hoon started sending texts, as if he'd just realized the gravity of the situation.
I switched my phone to silent and went to sleep.
Looked like I'd be able to sleep like a baby tonight, better than usual.
The next day, as part of exercising, I climbed the mountain behind Grandfather's house with him, sweating as we gathered medicinal herbs.
After washing up with cold water, I ate breakfast.
Before we went home, Grandmother packed us all sorts of things.
Arriving home, I carried in the side dishes we'd packed up together with Dad.
I'd been planning to do some hardcore squats at home today, but Da-yeon asked me to go to the pool.
Since Da-yeon was getting in touch anyway, I checked the blocked number for the unit and saw 56 texts and 12 missed calls.
He obviously wouldn't be able to pick up even if I called now, so I just started enjoying the swim with Da-yeon.
Just as the sun was going down and we were still enjoying the water, a call came from Park Ji-hoon.
"Who is it?"
"Ji-hoon."
"Oooh..."
I smirked at the expectant look in Da-yeon's eyes and answered the phone.
Park Ji-hoon usually couldn't be bothered to touch his phone after the day's duties, too tired, but today it seemed like he'd retrieved his phone and called the moment duties ended.
—"Sorry."
Still, seeing him start with an apology the instant he called meant I could probably hit him one less time when we met.
"That all you got to say?"
—"I'm about to get PTSD. Seriously, sorry. But why'd you call yesterday anyway?"
"I forgot, so just piss off."
—"Crazy... you saying you forgot, I got nothing to say to that."
A brief silence hung there before Park Ji-hoon spoke again.
—"Ah~! I said I'm sorry. Can't you admit I reflected a ton if it's this bad? I even sent 56 texts."
"....."
—"Hello...?"
"Hanging up. Busy."
—"Bullshit! I can hear the water splashing, you know?"
I hung up, smooth as anything.
Da-yeon was looking at me with a deeply meaningful gaze.
"...?"
"Si-yoon... are you and Ji-hoon... dating?"
For the first time in my life, I almost told Da-yeon to stop saying crazy shit.
"Are you insane...?"
"A strong denial is..."
"Da-yeon."
"Yeah, yeah."
"Don't try to force something that isn't there."
"Teehee."
Da-yeon had been watching a lot of internet broadcasts lately and had turned into a complete, die-hard shipping troll.
Da-yeon needed to find her own match, and fast...
Ji-hoon got in touch again, and Da-yeon pressed the call button.
"Hello~?"
—"Hey~ I'm kind of in a hurry here, can you put Si-yoon on?"
"Si-yoon is super pissed off and she's underwater right now?"
—"I know that's bull, so just put her on, quick."
"That's exactly why Si-yoon is pissed off, because you talk like that!"
—"Nobody knows better than me that that's impossible, so just put her on~"
"Ha! How well could you possibly know Si-yoon to say that!?"
—"Alright. Since such an insignificant worm as myself knows less than Lady Da-yeon, would you please put her on the phone?"
I spoke toward the phone.
"Go ask Tae-oh~ He might remember."
I set the phone aside and started enjoying the swim with Da-yeon.
Incheon Airport.
A man in a crisp suit stood holding a sign written in Japanese.
- 茂吉様, 韓国へのご訪問誠にありがとうございます。(Mr. Mokichi, welcome to Korea. We sincerely thank you for your visit.)
Two people emerged from the airport gate.
At first glance, one looked Korean, and the other had a shaved head and was covered in tattoos all over his body.
"Are you Mr. Son Hyeong-min?"
"Ah! Mr. Mokichi?"
"This gentleman is Mr. Mokichi. I am the interpreter."
"Aha! That's a relief. I'm not very good at Japanese, you see."
"Hahaha, more than that, I'd like to do some sightseeing before we get to the contract. I'm not familiar with Korea, so would you mind guiding us around?"
"Of course!"
Son Hyeong-min loaded them into his car and headed for Seoul.
And on the necks of those two, a tattoo of the letter 'M' was drawn.
Midterms had ended, and it seemed Yoon-seo, who'd met up with the senior who'd confessed to her about six times, had finally decided to date him.
The looks they gave each other were full of honey, just about to drip right out.
Even while they were dating, Yoon-seo was stuck right by my side.
The senior dating Yoon-seo was a guy named Im Yeong-hwan, and he was taking pretty good care of her.
Once, Da-yeon and I ate with him to assess Im Yeong-hwan.
The whole time, he only took care of Yoon-seo. So, he passed to a certain degree.
Honestly, for a guy to be sitting in front of me and Da-yeon while we ate, instinctively letting his eyes wander is basically a given.
That moment was incredibly brief.
Looking at his self-control, he definitely passed.
He seemed a bit like a kept man, which I didn't love, but in any case, he was the one Yoon-seo chose.
During the exam period, Yoon-seo had proven she'd made it this far despite a home situation more disadvantaged than others', showing concentration and diligence superior to anyone else's, and was always buried in the Hanguk University library.
Since I was frequently out having fun, whenever I wasn't with her, she was completely absorbed in studying.
So, I ended up spending more time hanging out with Na-gyeong, the friend who'd been Da-yeon's roommate during the MT.
After playing Debtor's Forest at home for a while, time came and I logged into Twatch.
Out of the two channels I was subscribed to, I clicked on Dubu's channel.
Dubu was touching up her hair with a new flat iron she'd just bought, doing a review.
—"Oh!?"
As if she wanted to show off being a volume-poof queen, she got all excited messing with her own hair until she ended up looking like a lion.
—"Wait a sec. Let me go grab a comb."
After turning it into goddess hair with the comb, Dubu put on a flower crown.
She was so pretty, her charm felt like it was coming right through the electronics.
I immediately pulled a donation.
'I Am Not a Princess' has donated 10,000 won.
- Heh, you're uglier than me, stop the cringey behavior no no
- "Hey! I'm pretty, for my age, you know?"
'I Am Not a Princess' has donated 10,000 won.
- More importantly, what're you talking about with Uncle Sheen? To teach you how to spend money or something?
- "Ah, th-that's, um... y'know how everyone's like 'flex, flex' these days, so we were just talking about what it feels like to flex, if he'd ever felt it..."
There was a reason Dubu was being this cautious.
She wanted to have us on as guests, but it seemed she thought of herself as leeching off big-name streamers.
Even though Dad and I absolutely didn't think that...
But since Dad and I had already decided we'd appear as guests anyway, I was deliberately giving Dubu a hard time.
'I Am Not a Princess' has donated 10,000 won.
- Wow... so you want to invite my dad, whose time is money, as a guest?
- "Ah... it's a no-go, right, as expected?"
Dubu treated me comfortably, but she was still a bit awkward around Dad.
Which made sense. Coming face-to-face with the owner of the voice she'd carried around in her ears through earphones since she was a kid was bound to be both amazing and nerve-wracking.
'I Am Not a Princess' has donated 10,000 won.
- Dad says I can do it if I want?
- "Really? Then we can come on, right?"
Look at her, smiling and doing a complete 180 the second she heard Dad had given permission...
Dubu was trying to mesmerize me with her looks.
This fox-like...
'I Am Not a Princess' has donated 10,000 won.
- If we come, what're you gonna buy us? I heard about the plan you two cooked up before, that you wanted to feel how we spend money. So, Dad's going with Uncle Sheen, and I'm going with you, Big sis?
Dubu fiddled with her hair and spoke.
- "Yeah, yeah. So we'll meet in the evening, and we'll treat you to beef."
The chat was already being flooded with 'rip-off.'
The audacity, to try and fob me and Dad off with beef when scouting us as guests.
'I Am Not a Princess' has donated 10,000 won.
- Condition 1. You spend over 30 million won. 2. You don't talk back to what we say.
- "What!? Th-thirty? Are you insane?"
'I Am Not a Princess' has donated 10,000 won.
- 'Condition 2. You don't talk back to what we say.' Plus, just the money I've donated to you, Big sis, easily tops 30 million won?
- "...True..."
'I Am Not a Princess' has donated 10,000 won.
"Dad and I are free tomorrow. Call Uncle Sheen separately~"
- "Got...it..."
The chat exploded because of my conditions.
- LOLOLOLOL to enjoy a little shopping, 30 million won is the baseline, amirite?
- Pfft, LOL. There's a streamer trying to spend money like a top-tier celebrity?
- Daaamn...
- Don't be a crow-tit trying to follow a stork, you'll just tear your own crotch.