The Group Project from Hell
Chapter 88 - I forcibly dragged the heroines out of bed for the group project. Vomit stained the corners of their mouths, but that didn't matter right now. Class did. "Hey, you idiots! Get up already!" I made as much noise as possible to jolt them awake. Slowly, the three corpses who had thrown their heroine dignity to the dogs began to regain consciousness.
"Ugh... Shinu, it's still Saturday. Why the hell are you waking us up this early?"
"Young Master... we have not lost yet..."
"Husband, it's the weekend, so you must want to do something naughty with me—bleeegh!"
'Don't throw up on the bed.'
[....Throw that one away.]
Their condition was no different from mine at first. They were still under the delusion that it was Saturday. I needed to clear up the misunderstanding fast.
"You lunatics! It's Monday! Class starts in five minutes!"
"""......What the fuck?"""
I shoved my phone screen in their faces and shouted. Everyone suddenly burst into frantic motion.
***
We made it to class with seconds to spare. Elsia still managed to stumble-run her way there, proving that elves really did have three livers. The other two, however, couldn't pull themselves together. I tucked Hyeji under one arm and Jeong Ayeon under the other, circulated mana through my legs, and sprinted at full speed. From a distance, it probably looked like I was carrying flowers in both hands.
"Shinu, slow down a bit—bleeegh."
"Young Master, please handle this lady more gently—euuueeeck."
Like Hansel and Gretel leaving a trail of breadcrumbs, Hyeji and Jeong Ayeon left a constant trail of evidence along the way. It felt like carrying two punctured bags of food waste in each hand. Elsia headed for the Gold-rank classroom while we smashed open the Iron-rank classroom door and arrived at our destination.
And now—
"......So what exactly is wrong with these corpses?"
The first class was Professor Kim Jiseon's. It had been a while since I'd seen her, but our condition was so dire that I couldn't even manage a welcoming expression.
"There was a report that three women went to Shinu student's dorm, but... what exactly happened?"
"......We fought to uphold our beliefs."
"......I suppose we don't need to worry about pregnancy."
[Before giving birth below, it seems you'll give birth from the mouth first.]
'Stop with the Piccolo Demon King talk. I'm going to die here.'
Professor Kim Jiseon let out a heavy sigh and tried to start class. Then the number above her head increased by one, and she suddenly shouted in alarm. A mirror shard appeared, but I didn't even have the energy to look at it.
"Shinu student!! Take those two to the bathroom right now! Immediately!"
Without hesitation, I dragged them both into the women's bathroom and tossed them inside. Somehow, I already knew what was coming even without seeing the future from before the regression. The moment they hit the bathroom floor, they instinctively crawled toward the stalls. Watching them triggered my own gag reflex, and I bolted for the bathroom too.
For the entire morning class that day, only the sounds of three people retching echoed from the men's and women's bathrooms.
***
The practical training class after lunch followed the same format as before the midterms—entering a gate and clearing a dungeon. The difference was that instead of clearing it alone, we now entered in groups of four. We'd already sobered up after lunch, but my stomach was still queasy and the sour taste lingered in my mouth.
The one explaining the class format and final exam in front of us was Professor Pilyong.
"We'll randomly assign people into groups of four, but for the finals you'll be allowed to form your own teams. Each group will be updated weekly. The number of monsters in the dungeon will be adjusted for four people, so keep that in mind. The goal of this class is to find people whose teamwork suits you best and to think about how you'll form your team for the final exam."
Because of the random assignment, Hyeji, Jeong Ayeon, and I were all separated into different groups. The students in Hyeji's group immediately dropped to one knee and bowed their heads the moment they saw her. Jeong Ayeon's group members looked pleased, apparently satisfied with her evaluation. As for my group—
"Great, we got the useless bastard."
"Yuna, don't say that. We saw that explosion during the midterms, remember?"
"That's because you weren't there! It was just carried!"
"S-still..."
"Guys, since we're stuck together, let's just do our best."
My group consisted of me, two female students, and one male student. The hesitant girl hadn't been visible during the midterms, so she was probably just a spectator. The guy and the other girl, however, looked familiar. The guy was the one who'd tried to take a leadership role when the boss monsters rushed in. The remaining girl was the blonde I'd followed during the midterms.
[That child does not seem to harbor any favorable feelings toward you.]
'That bitch is boiling with resentment toward me.'
[How do you know that?]
'I read chapter 77.'
The male student, who looked fairly fit even if not as much as me, was desperately trying to smooth things over. The brown-haired girl was Lee Ji-hye. The guy was Choi Young-ho. And the gold-trash girl who hated me was Kim Yuna. Still, the atmosphere between Lee Ji-hye and Choi Young-ho felt strangely charged.
'Are those two dating?'
[It appears so.]
Subtle pink gazes passed between them, the kind that could turn a novel into pure romance if I got too close. They kept looking in different directions while holding hands, only to notice my stare and yank their hands apart. It was the very picture of fresh, innocent romance.
'You pure-love weirdos, why are you making a scene in front of me...'
[......Shouldn't you call them normal people rather than pure-love weirdos?]
Meanwhile, Kim Yuna, clearly in a foul mood, spat at my feet and said, "Just hold us back and see what happens, you bastard."
"If you hold us back, I'll cut your ankles off."
"Try it if you can, you brain-dead fuck."
"Oh, I will. I'm definitely going to wreck you, you crazy bitch."
I never backed down from a fight. When I snarled back, Choi Young-ho and Lee Ji-hye frantically tried to mediate.
"We're stuck in the same group for a week, so let's at least try to work together!"
"Yeah. Our turn's coming up soon, so let's get ready."
A few minutes later, we passed through the gate and entered the dungeon.
***
Even considering it was a hastily formed group, things weren't bad. Choi Young-ho and Lee Ji-hye happened to have the same ability, and it was pretty useful—creating barriers. While Lee Ji-hye tanked the first attack from the front, I would slip through the gap and carve everything up. The moment my turn ended, Choi Young-ho would switch with her to block the counterattack with his barrier. When his duration ran out, Lee Ji-hye would take over again. They made a decent support couple.
[Isn't Hyeji a supporter too?]
'Where the hell do you see a supporter? That's literally the God of War.'
Still, it wasn't a party without flaws. A minor one was—
"...I get that you two are basically dating, but aren't you protecting each other a little too much?"
"That's... sorry."
The barriers meant to protect against enemy attacks were overly focused on each other. But there was a much bigger problem that made this flaw seem trivial.
"Gold-trash, what the hell are you doing?"
"I'm not doing anything. Work hard, you idiots."
Kim Yuna was hanging back far behind us, making it clear she had zero intention of helping. She was the living embodiment of a League of Legends troll who refused to play the game and just farmed allied CS and jungle camps in peace.
"Kim Yuna! You should still help a little!"
"Yeah, Yuna. We're in the same group for a week, so why not lend a hand?"
"Nah, you guys handle it yourselves."
Even after Choi Young-ho and Lee Ji-hye's pleas, Kim Yuna didn't budge. After several attempts at persuasion, she finally said she'd help from the next round onward. But—
- Whoosh!
"...Where the hell are you aiming, you motherless bitch?"
"Why are you standing so close to the monsters~?"
While claiming to provide support from the rear, Kim Yuna swung her whip at my weapon every time I attacked. As a result, I kept dropping my weapon or failing to complete my swings.
'Ah, you're so dead.'
[You can't attack her body directly, can you?]
There was a way. Right before the next attempt, I set an alarm on my phone. I also asked Choi Young-ho and Lee Ji-hye to move forward and take position in advance. The moment our turn started again, I secretly dropped my phone and rushed ahead. Right next to Kim Yuna's feet, who was lounging comfortably as if this had nothing to do with her. Once we were far enough away, my phone's alarm began blaring.
- Beep beep beep beep beep! Beep beep beep beep!
Good morning!
Even the monsters couldn't stand the alarm and started rushing toward the sound. Naturally, Kim Yuna panicked at the sudden swarm of monsters charging her way.
"W-what?! Hey! Someone protect me! Kyaaaaah!!!"
I grabbed Choi Young-ho and Lee Ji-hye as they tried to run toward her. The two of them must have been holding quite a grudge themselves, because they didn't shake me off and instead stayed put, embracing each other. We watched with satisfied expressions as Kim Yuna was being dismantled by monsters in real time.
'Ah, I should've brought popcorn.'
[This body prefers caramel.]
Once Kim Yuna's role as bait ended, we resumed hunting the monsters. It was an extremely pleasant hunt.
***
Kim Yuna's protests didn't work at all. I claimed I'd accidentally dropped my phone, and the pure-love couple said they'd been focused on the front and hadn't noticed. After that, Kim Yuna changed tactics and started actively interfering. Whenever I attacked, she'd snatch at my weapon or attack the terrain beside me to make me hesitate. Of course, I punished her accordingly each time.
"It's lunchtime!!!"
"Kyaaaaah!!"
The moment I saw her whip tangled around my weapon, I yanked it with all my strength and threw her toward the monsters. Or—
"Don't throw it at me!!!!"
"Sorry~. My hand slipped~."
I'd pretend to drop my weapon and throw it so it grazed past her head. In the latter case, she must have been genuinely terrified, because she ended up spraying a golden shower from below that perfectly matched her blonde hair. It was a real lemonade factory.
Still, by the time Friday's class ended, we didn't develop any affection for each other. Not a chance. The chihuahua-like barking of Kim Yuna just looked ridiculous the more I saw it.
"Kim Shinu, you bastard. Next time I catch you, you're dead."
"Save it. If you want to bark like a chihuahua, at least level up your trash talk to my brother Choco's level first."
Later, when Hyeji found out and tried to go beat Kim Yuna herself, I stopped her.
"Shinu, I'll teach that bitch the value of her limbs. Just wait ten seconds."
"Don't worry, Hyeji. I'll definitely wreck her later."
"When?"
"Within the next ten chapters."
Just then, Elsia joined us and spoke to me.
"Husband! Tomorrow's the weekend, so let's go play!"
"Should we? Does this mean I finally get to live that pink academy life?"
But Hyeji immediately cut the suggestion down.
"Shinu, you have somewhere to go with me this weekend."
"Where?"
"To take your promotion exam."
It was because of mine and Hyeji's promotion matches. The reason Hyeji hadn't gone to the Martial Arts Guild with us last time was probably to submit the application for this promotion. So the next day, Saturday, Hyeji and I passed through a gate to head to the Korea Hunter Association for our promotions.