The American Boss, No, the Rat Boss

A cacophony of sounds clashed as a majestic spectacle unfolded before us. The earth trembled beneath the thunderous charge of four-legged beasts. Eagles and countless birds blanketed the sky with the furious beating of their wings. Between the hulking forms of the larger creatures, rodents, snakes, and cats darted forward like living shadows. They drew closer to the massive horde of roe deer, and the creatures' eerie cries swelled in direct proportion. Yet not one of them faltered. If anything, they only accelerated. When the distance closed enough, I slammed my fist squarely into the face of the lead roe deer at the vanguard, and the war erupted in earnest.

"Die!!! You invasive pests!!!"

Countless roe deer shifted into bipedal stances, powering up WiFi through their forelimbs. The sight was genuinely menacing. But the wild boars at the head of our formation unleashed the One Hundred and Eight Arhat Formation, bulldozing the roe deer back with overwhelming mass and momentum.

"Squeeeeeeee!!!!"

"Kweeeeeeee!!!!"

The atmosphere boiled with ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠rising tension. The birds had seized control of the skies and rained attacks down on the roe deer from above. Snakes weaved around the enemies' flashy forsythia steps and struck at their ankles with precision. The feline contingent, led by the black jjam tiger, tore through the roe deer with agile grace and claw-extended cat punches.

Yet among all those beasts, one stood out above the rest. A small but supremely valiant black rat. That black rat began to dominate the entire battlefield. It ripped into roe deer heads and nimbly vaulted from one enemy to another. Its combat ability had long since surpassed anything a mere rodent should possess. Every strike landed with the delayed follow-up of a true monster hunter.

"Go!! Mickey Mou—"

"Shinwoo! Shut the hell up right now!"

"Young master! Seal that mouth of yours at once!"

"Husband! Mmph! That is far too dangerous!"

Shit. That place is actually pretty scary.

The desperate cries of my companions. It seemed they'd sensed that the novel's very existence had been placed in momentary peril. Meanwhile, the black rat had already rendered five roe deer combat-incapable. A true ruler of the battlefield. But what stopped the black rat's valiant charge was none other than a wuxia roe deer.

The black rat unleashed another delayed strike. The wuxia roe deer, however, swatted the attack away with a single foreleg, completely sealing off any approach. A look of utter contempt sat plainly on its face.

"Squeak!!!!"

"No!!!! Nopia killed Disney!!"

With only a short death cry, the black rat flew helplessly into the darkness. To avenge it, I stepped forward to confront the wuxia roe deer. A heavy silence descended in that moment. It wasn't because the surrounding clamor had stopped. My body had tensed to its absolute limit upon encountering a worthy foe.

After a brief standoff, we kicked off the ground at the same instant, as if we'd exchanged some unspoken signal, and charged each other. The distance between me and the wuxia roe deer vanished in the blink of an eye. We had both entered striking range. I immediately loaded power into my right fist, aiming for its flank.

At that exact moment—

"Young master! Dodge to the left!"

Jung Ayeon suddenly shouted from behind me. When I glanced back, a number had appeared above her head. She must have regressed right before I engaged. I tried to follow her instruction and shift left. But an inexplicable sense of unease restricted my movement. At the same time, my intuition screamed a frantic warning: Do not go left.

In the end, I trusted my gut over Jung Ayeon's words and twisted my body sharply to the right. In that instant, the roe deer's fist shot past my left side. It pierced the air with ferocious force, followed by a massive pressure wave that proved its power.

"What?! He dodged that?!"

"Hey, you crazy bitch!"

A red number crept up above Jung Ayeon's head. But I had no time to yell at her. This time, a number had appeared above the roe deer's head. The distance was so close that a mirror fragment had formed, but I couldn't look at it. The roe deer was closing the gap even further, and in my panic I never even thought to check.

The roe deer that had approached me shoved its foreleg into the fur around its lower body and rummaged around. What emerged was a thick, enormous object that looked completely out of place on a roe deer. It was large, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠imposing, and impossible to believe it belonged to such a creature. That's right. It ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠was a double-barrel shotgun.

The roe deer swiftly shouldered the weapon and pointed the barrels at me. Then it gave a crooked grin and let out a short cry.

"Kieeeeeek."

BANG!!!!!!!!

I slammed myself flat against the ground, barely dodging the incoming shot. After rolling clear of its aim, I attempted communication.

"That technique just now. Was that Mantianhuawu?"

"Kiek."

The roe deer nodded in agreement. At the sight, Jung Ayeon's furious denial rang out.

"Bullshit! How the hell is that Mantianhuawu?! And the characters are wrong too!"

"Hey! Roe deer! Answer me! A double-barrel shotgun is proper wuxia, right?"

"Kieek! Kieeeeeeeeeek!"

"Shinwoo, what did it say?"

"It said, 'Of course it's proper wuxia.'"

I wasn't wrong. In the future, the true heartland of wuxia would be America, the land of firearms.

With six thousand dollars, you could pull off the Hundred Steps Divine Fist.

Jung Ayeon began to scream as if the very idea was absurd.

"Don't make me laugh!!! Does it even make sense to converse with mere animals in the first place?!"

"...I wish that son of a bitch Shinwoo was lying too."

"Even you, young lady... Just what in the world happened during the break?!"

Strength left her legs and Jung Ayeon collapsed right where she stood. In the end, she let out a hollow laugh and began muttering to herself.

"Was this one mistaken about everything? Am I the abnormal one? Hahahahahahaha."

It was pitiful. She might have been a bit lacking in common sense, but she'd been a good friend. Who could have known she'd break down like this? But before I could even shake off the sympathy, a new crisis arrived. The roe deer had already taken aim at me with the double-barrel shotgun once more.

"Kieek."

As if saying farewell, the roe deer began to squeeze the trigger. Right before it could fire, grinning that crooked grin, a hero appeared in the critical moment.

"Squeak squeak zzzzt!!!"

"Captain Ratmerica! I believed in you!!"

The black rat that had been sent flying by the wuxia roe deer had revived like only a rat could. No. Captain Rat. Captain Rat leaped in from the roe deer's blind spot and executed a perfect hero landing on its head. The roe deer was startled as well. But it seemed eliminating me took priority. It corrected its disrupted aim and pointed the barrels at me again.

In that instant, Captain Rat activated a secret technique permitted only to chosen rodents.

In the chaotic battlefield, the melody flowing from Captain Rat's mouth slowly spread outward. The Sanvengers who had finished off most of the roe deer. The handful of roe deer still resisting until the end. Hye-ji's group and the cafeteria staff watching the entire spectacle. Everyone began falling under the song's demonic charm as if enchanted by a siren.

Beautiful lyrics accompanied by a magnificent melody. Especially that word composed of eleven letters—it was enough by itself to stir overwhelming emotion. But every beautiful rose has its thorns. Even within this sweet melody lurked a hidden thorn. A monster called copyright was quietly holding its breath within the song, waiting for its chance.

Yes. This was poison. A beautiful yet all the more lethal toxin. The first to react was the wuxia roe deer. Its expression froze instantly and it frantically covered its ears with its forelegs. The double-barrel shotgun clattered to the ground, but it no longer seemed important. All it could do was close its eyes, plug its ears, and pray desperately for the song to end.

The others were hardly any different. Those who could cover their ears with their limbs did so with all their strength. Those who could not buried their heads deep into the ground or into corners. Anything to escape the poison. But Captain Rat's volume only grew louder, refusing to diminish. As if determined to plant an indelible toxin in everyone.

And that toxin took root in the roe deer. Though it had its ears tightly covered and appeared unable to hear the song, Captain Rat was perched directly on its head. Through bone conduction, the music laced with the poison of copyright began carving itself clearly into the roe deer's mind. To drive out the toxin, the roe deer screamed at the top of its lungs in one final desperate struggle.

"Kieeeeeeeeeeek!!!!"

"Hey! Don't write the lyrics! That's extremely dangerous!"

I slowly walked toward the roe deer and picked up the double-barrel shotgun it had dropped. The roe deer, having noticed my movement, slightly opened its eyes. The moment our gazes met, horror filled its eyes. But it was already too late. I aimed the shotgun at the roe deer and spoke.

"Roe deer of the Sichuan Tang Clan, do you now understand what your fatal flaw is?"

The roe deer was sending me looks full of resentment and injustice. But the world of combat is always cold. I added one final remark.

"To think you call yourself immune to a thousand poisons when you cannot even block a single toxin like this. Your flaw is that you are not immune to ten thousand poisons."

The roe deer, having read my lips and understood the words, tried to refute me violently. But I was a fraction faster on the trigger.

BANG!!!!!!!!

"Kieeeeeek..."

Thanks to the protective qi wrapped around its entire body, the roe deer didn't have a single scratch despite taking a direct shotgun blast. However, it couldn't withstand the explosive impact of the pellets and was sent flying into the distance. At the same time, Captain Rat lost its pedestal. I carefully caught the noble creature with both hands.

"Esteemed one..."

"Squeak squeak!"

With the wuxia roe deer defeated, the remaining roe deer all surrendered. In the moment when every beast roared in the thrill of victory, I raised both hands that held Captain Rat high into the air. With everyone's eyes upon us, I offered the highest praise to that noble ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠being.

"Captain! Oh my Captain!"

An even greater roar than before swept across the battlefield. Our victory was complete.