Sign It, Elf!

I was getting treatment for the gash on my left eye that Lucianer had given me earlier in the infirmary.

"Damn, this really stings."

"Just hold on a little longer."

"Hurry up and heal me already."

"We have to disinfect it first."

After the disinfection came Ye-lim's healing ability. Of course, it only sped up the body's natural recovery rate. Still, it was nice not having to get stitches in my eye with a needle.

"That's a pretty deep cut. I don't think I can remove this scar."

"It's fine. A scar over the left eye ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠is basically the mark of a badass anyway."

"Why not just get a prosthetic arm while you're at it."

A scar and a prosthetic arm? No man could resist that combo.

"How much of the arm would you have to cut off for that?"

"You're killing me here, seriously."

The moment I left the infirmary, I headed straight for the dueling arena where Hye-ji was taking her test. Luckily I wasn't late. The two of them were still locked in a standoff.

Since Kyoko happened to be nearby, I sat down next to her.

"Oh! It's Maneki Neko-chan desu!"

"Did you make a lot of money?"

"I'm heading to Mars now lolololol"

"You can't get there with Dogecoin so just so you know."

"Eh? For real? Did the Shiba Inu coin trick me desu?????"

That coin's a no-go. Fuck. I bought in at six hundred, you bastards.

"Instead of that worthless coin, why not at least help with college tuition or something."

"Then I'm going to art school in America lololololol"

It was ice cold. Suddenly someone came to mind.

"...Kyoko? Even if you fail to get into art school, don't think anything too extreme, okay?"

"Shinu-chan is always so weird desu lolol. Even if I fail I have no plans to commit seppuku lolol"

No, seppuku is fine. But becoming the Führer is not. If World War III breaks out I'll get drafted.

"Kyoko, if you ever become the Führer please recognize me and Hye-ji as honorary Aryans."

"I don't know what you're talking about lol. But I'll take care of you and Hye-ji-chan lol"

Thank god.

Just then the fight between Hye-ji and Jung Ayeon began.

In the past Hye-ji's main combat methods had been bullets, hammers, and other pure physical force. But now it was different. She was a monster. As if the weapons ban treaty could go fuck itself, Hye-ji was manifesting everything from white phosphorus rounds to all sorts of biochemical weapons that no one had ever seen or heard of before.

If the UN came to watch we'd be completely fucked, Hye-ji. This was clearly a violation of international law no matter how you looked at it.

Of course Jung Ayeon had improved somewhat too. As I'd seen before, instead of a simple war of attrition with numbers she started applying gradual pressure with a limited number of summons. She restricted the movement path and then summoned a slime for the finishing blow.

However the opponent was bad. It just had to be Hye-ji, who had become as strong as she could possibly get.

Explosion. Gunpowder. Biochemical weapons. Armed with insane weapons that reflected humanity's cruelty in its entirety, Hye-ji was unstoppable.

- Sssssssssss!!!!

- Boom! Boom! Boom!

- Kaboom!!!!

The slime or whatever was nothing but a mere insect in the face of overwhelming violence. As expected, only lead bullets and gunpowder can bring us peace.

The result was perhaps inevitable. It ended in Hye-ji's one-sided victory.

Watching this, Kyoko burst into laughter and chimed in.

"That's just a fake martial artist lmaoooooooo"

It seemed Jung Ayeon had heard Kyoko's words as she plopped down on the spot in defeat.

But it was definitely strange. Her outfit and speech tried to imitate a martial artist, but...

Looking at what she actually does, she's just a one-trick summoner mage.

Her use of abilities was far from that.

Before I knew it I saw Hye-ji coming toward us. So Kyoko and I proudly welcomed Hye-ji, who was doing her silver return to glory. Winning against a pushover like that made a golden return seem a bit much.

The moment she arrived Hye-ji immediately pointed at my eye.

"Shinu, why is your eye all fucked up too."

"Too? You mean my eye is the ONLY thing that's fucked up."

"???"

"???"

"This guy lol His whole face is fucked up lolololol"

While we were exchanging cold hooked barbs Kyoko suddenly landed a critical hit. Not liking that, I smacked Kyoko on the head.

"Shinu-chan! You shouldn't hit a girl!!!!"

"It's gender equality. Deadpool ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠told me to do it like this."

Kyoko was frantically fixing her hair. She was acting all dramatic even though I didn't hit her that hard, so I debated smacking her one more time.

Meanwhile Hye-ji spoke to me.

"So Shinu, what are you going to do now?"

"Hye-ji, you remember when I made that oath with that pointy-eared bastard, right?"

Suddenly Hye-ji's expression hardened at lightning speed. A cold gaze followed.

"You said that wasn't a stay-away-from-me thing. I'm not interested."

"No, this is part of a bigger picture so please just look at it once and tell me."

"I don't know. Forget it. Go away."

"This is driving me crazy, for real."

She didn't seem like she'd listen to me at all. And then the final nail in the coffin.

"You're always like this."

"Fuck."

Hye-ji had neatly driven it home. She had been so excited when fighting Jung Ayeon, but now she was treating me so coldly. She suddenly seemed to be in a bad mood. No matter how much I tried to soothe her it wasn't very effective, which was frustrating.

Why is she like this for real. I'm scared.

Anyway, we returned to the dormitory. We needed to prepare for Lucianer’s bleak future after all.

As I mentioned before, the vote to select the World Tree welcoming representative was being held at the academy this time. Since it was hosted by an external dimension it was a highly unusual case.

You might not know about it. Of course. I forget it often enough myself. In that case you can go back and reread chapter twenty for a bit. I'll do the same.

Anyway. The election period began after midterms, starting from the point when each candidate gave their representative speech. A two-week campaign promotion period. And on the final day they would hold the vote to select the World Tree welcoming representative.

Since it was an incredibly meaningful vote for elves, countless elves came to observe regardless of location. Age, tribe, none of it mattered, and the same applied to the academy where the vote was taking place this time.

Thanks to that, elves started arriving one by one several days before the candidates' speeches. Of course, because the academy had somewhat closed-off characteristics, entry management was quite strict. They wouldn't issue temporary passes if external personnel didn't fill out the exact information on the application form.

As a result, conflicts between the entry management department and visiting elves were almost inevitable.

"Father, please write the address in road-name format. If you say 'the fourth house to the right of the giant ash tree' we can't determine the exact residence."

"How dare you insult the elven way of expressing addresses!!!"

"Mother! You need to write your occupation! You can't write 'second daughter-in-law's mother-in-law of the Red Stump Tribe'!"

"In the High Elf tribe family relations alone constitute an occupation! You ignorant fools!"

The main cause of these headaches were the typical stubborn elves whose words just wouldn't get through. The relatively younger elves weren't as extreme as these.

"You wrote your age as fifteen. Is this correct?"

"I came with my daughter—no, my sister, but I don't see her so I came to register alone~"

"You wrote spirit mage in the occupation field but please change it to unemployed. That occupation is not currently registered in the system."

".....Would freelancer not work?"

It wasn't completely without issues.

Anyway, the clashes of opinion between the entry management department and the elves kept increasing. The entry management department presented a very simple and firm reason: they couldn't let in people with unknown identities.

On the other hand, since it was rare for a large number of elves to visit external dimensions directly, the elves hadn't even considered such strict procedures. On top of that their pride as a long-lived species meant they sometimes just forced their way in without listening.

Up to this point it would be right to side with the academy's entry management department. However the world doesn't always run on reason.

At the point when even High Elves were pushing their way in, the academy higher-ups gave the order to give free pass to any and all elves. Thanks to that, as long as you were an elf you could just come in. It couldn't be helped. No matter how thorough the academy was, if the higher-ups said "Proceed" they had to quietly follow. Of course if problems arose the ones who let them in had to take responsibility. It was the many innocent people who suffered from the stupid decisions of higher-ups.

It was a truly Korean and fucking stupid academy.

Lucianer was currently waiting for Kim Shinu. Tomorrow was the day of the World Tree welcoming representative candidate speeches. For Lucianer, who was running as a candidate this time, it was an extremely important and meaningful day.

However what was dominating Lucianer’s mind right now wasn't that.

How did he produce that kind of power?

He had definitely obtained information that the human was powerless. Even when they actually fought, although his combat technique completion was quite high he had no special abilities. Kim Shinu, who was clearly on the verge of death. It definitely should have ended there.

But somehow, at the very last moment, Kim Shinu suddenly started counterattacking.

He must have used some trick. I will definitely uncover it.

A wind blew across the wasteland where his brilliant golden hair had disappeared. Along with a momentary chill his heart began to ache. It would definitely look better if he covered it, but the last remaining pride of a High Elf wouldn't allow it.

When he lightly smoothed his head the brilliant golden hair was nowhere to be felt, as if it had been a lie. What came to mind then were his wives. When he recalled issuing the order to ban access until his hair grew back, Lucianer became depressed again.

But that was only for a moment. Finally Kim Shinu arrived. As soon as he arrived he handed over a single sheet of paper folded in half.

"What is this, short-lived species."

"It's time to uphold the oath, pointy-ears."

"I'm asking what this scrap of paper is."

"It's what you're going to say in tomorrow's candidate speech."

It was absurd. Had he fought with all his might just to make him do this one thing? He couldn't hold back his laughter.

"How ridiculous! You challenged me for something as trivial as this?"

"At tomorrow's candidate speech just open the paper and say exactly what's written on it."

"Are you doing this under someone else's orders?"

"No, I'm doing it because you're a piece of shit. If you don't follow through your head flies off as per the oath."

It was laughable. There was no way the outcome would be overturned by a word or two. No matter what he said he wouldn't be able to stop him from becoming the World Tree welcoming representative.

"How amusing! No matter what you do it won't change the fact that I will become the representative!"

"Whatever. I'm leaving, pointy-ears."

"Get lost this instant!"

Kim Shinu quickly disappeared from sight after saying only what he came for. It wasn't bad for Lucianer either. Since he had no more business outside, Lucianer returned to the dormitory as is.

And the other candidates that came to mind.

No matter what happens it's impossible for a half-breed to become the representative!

It was a shame he couldn't obtain the woman called Hye-ji, but in the end the title of World Tree welcoming representative would be his. That was what Lucianer firmly believed.

Without knowing what was to come.

The day of the World Tree welcoming representative candidate speeches. However this day was like a festival for the students as well. That was because all classes that day were canceled.

Of course there was no such thing as free freedom. But the price was quite cheap. They had to unconditionally attend the candidate speech ceremony in the morning. And currently.

The speech venue was filled with numerous students and elves buzzing with noise.

At this point one or two accidents might happen but it wasn't necessarily the case. For students it was time they had to faithfully fulfill to get their promised day off. For elves it was a somewhat monumental and precious time. In the end both groups valued the current time preciously regardless of purpose. There was no reason for major conflict to occur.

Meanwhile Hye-ji, Kyoko, and I had secured front row seats in advance. It wasn't because we were interested. It was simply to confirm whether the oath was being properly upheld.

"Shinu-chan why are we sitting so close to the elves of all things!!!"

"Shinu is there a reason we have to listen from the front? And what's with that chainsaw."

"I need to make sure my oath is being kept. This is insurance."

If he ran I'd personally cut his neck off. That's what I was determined to do.

At that moment a loud voice began to transmit through the microphone.

After the emcee finished speaking the venue darkened. Darkness fell in an instant. Everyone's voices gradually died down in response. The moment not a single ray of light could be seen, a single spotlight illuminated the candidate podium.

In time with the emcee's voice Lucianer slowly walked out. Although his bald head made him look ridiculous, his gait was completely different. That alone gave a glimpse of what a High Elf was.

Lucianer finally reached the podium. He looked around, his eyes filling with certainty as he put on a confident expression. He probably thought he had already won.

But the moment he took out the paper I gave him and unfolded it, Lucianer's face died. His pupils darted around unable to focus. Cold sweat started pouring down even though the day wasn't hot. His breathing became irregular from the sudden shock.

Lucianer couldn't open his mouth. His lips trembled violently until his eyes met mine. I grinned viciously, lifting the chainsaw in my left hand to show him. At the same time I drew my right hand across my throat in a slicing motion.

It was the silent message I was sending him.

Meanwhile questions were slowly rising among the crowd. The Lucianer who had looked so triumphant when he first came out was now standing still like a broken robot.

The emcee, unable to wait any longer, began to urge him.

"Ah, understood."

Lucianer had no other choice. With trembling hands he crumpled the paper I had given him. Then Lucianer's mouth slowly began to open.

"Dear everyone. I have only one thing to say here today. On behalf of the Pond Leaf Tribe. No, on behalf of all elves I deliver this message. This statement is the common opinion of all elves."

At that moment a cheer came from somewhere.

"That's right! Candidate Lucianer's statement is the very opinion of every elf present here!"

"""That's right!!!"""

"You over there! Be quiet!"

They appeared to be Lucianer's supporters. After a brief disturbance everyone waited for Lucianer to continue.

Lucianer now looked like he was about to cry. His eyes were filled with regret for his own arrogance. But an oath was an oath. Someone had to keep it.

After a long silence Lucianer's mouth finally opened.

"The... World Tree... is just a big tree."

The moment the words left his mouth Lucianer fled from the podium as if running for his life. What followed the sudden shocking statement was not cheers but deep silence. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠The silence did not last long. In an instant the elves' angry shouts began to drive the silence away.

Of course this was the best sight I had hoped for.

You pointy-eared bastards. This isn't a festival for you. It's a funeral, you sons of bitches.