Midterms Are a Harmful Existence
As the midterms loomed with only a few days left, everyone was steadily losing their minds. Even the students who had studied diligently were starting to feel the tension. But this was no ordinary place. This was the Fucked Academy classroom. Most of the students here displayed behaviors quite far removed from normal.
Students who declared they would finish the midterm in a single day and then just goofed off were now commonplace. Some who claimed to be studying but spent the whole day practicing Gratitude Fist Strikes and wasted twenty-four hours. Others suddenly headed to an abandoned house to receive the Lord's power. There was even one student rolling his eyes back and chanting what sounded like a spell.
"Om..."
"Hey, what's wrong with that guy?"
"He got a spell from a shaman that makes your head smarter, apparently."
"But he looks way better than usual. I want to get one too."
Truly a diverse crowd of students who had all lost their minds. Of course, Hyeji and I were no different.
"Shinu, don't make such a fuss over a single test."
"Your phone search history is 'how to eliminate professors' right now, so delete that first."
"The professor makes the test, so we have to remove the professor."
"A true supporter, Karazim. In the flesh."
Then Hyeji suddenly thrust her fist toward me.
"Shinu, become a professor punch for me."
"...I'll be the professor punch."
He's a god! The god of Ada!
After lunch, we headed to the dueling arena for practical training.
"Hyeji, what was the practical section of our midterm again?"
"I told you during practical training not long ago. How can you never remem—"
"I left early that day."
"—ber. That could happen."
Back then, my mind had been torn to shreds after receiving the title of God of Ada and the whatever-the-hell Peace Prize, so I had ditched class. She must have explained it then. I had no clue. As those nightmares resurfaced, my expression rapidly grew gloomy.
"I'm the school's official Ada, fuck."
"I don't think it's bad. Actually, I kind of like it."
Hyeji wore an oddly pleased expression as she offered what passed for comfort. Then she continued her explanation.
"Anyway, for the practical midterm, you just designate one student higher-ranked than you and duel them."
"What if the person you designate refuses?"
"Well, would they really chicken out against a low-tier?"
"True. Even out of embarrassment, they wouldn't refuse."
When an Ada challenges you to a mid 1v1 and taunts 'Chicken?', you don't fight? You'd be a lifelong laughingstock.
- No, I was busy that day. If I fought, I'd win for sure.
- Yeah, next pathetic coward.
- Just say 'Bro, you're too scary, I can't fight you.'
Those three sentences would repeat every single time you met. At drinking parties, and if things got bad enough, even at funerals. That was how deep the world of mid 1v1 ran.
"And people who didn't designate anyone get randomly matched, I heard."
"Who are you picking?"
"I'm choosing Jung Ayeon. Her skills have improved, so I need to get revenge."
"She's both a martial artist and a flat board, so think up some new ways to tease her."
"Note. The Water Spirit King is Ifrit."
After trading various bits of conversation, we soon arrived at the dueling arena.
The weapons for today were a shotgun and speed loader. Plus the hand axe that was all the rage in the academy lately.
Honestly, I hadn't used an axe much. Its appearance never really appealed to me. But after reading a certain very famous novel recently, my thoughts had shifted a little.
'Conveying your heart through an axe. That's incredibly moving!'
The sight of emotions being delivered through action rather than words. A perfect protagonist. My role model.
With that, I gathered the weapons and dragged my duel opponent over. The guy I hauled in was one of the bastards who had complained last time that my main cannon didn't stand up.
"You're not actually going to kill me, right?"
"I'll spare your life."
Of course, even if he lived, he wouldn't really be living. After I finished with this one, I planned to have others take turns dragging victims over, so his turn would come again soon.
'I haven't even used it once. You bastards keep saying you maintain it every day.'
Right then, I spotted Hyeji a short distance away. Like me, she was dragging a student along by the collar. It was the same guy who had uttered the blasphemous line about making a guy wear a skirt last time.
Well done, Hyeji. Go ahead and wipe out every last bastard who tries to push trap characters as heroines.
I was about to begin the executions. At that moment, Professor Miran arrived at the dueling arena leading a group of people.
"These are Japanese students who will be observing at our academy until the practical midterms conclude. They've received Korean language training, so communication shouldn't be a major issue. Today they'll be watching the practical training. Please treat them kindly, everyone."
The moment she finished speaking, the observers scattered in unison. Most of them displayed similar behavior—running around the arena to watch other people's duels, or gathering in threes and fives with academy students to chat. A few, however, seemed to be examining the dueling facilities themselves or gauging their scale and size.
The feeling hit me instantly.
'Mostly high-school age with a few spies mixed in.'
The spies promptly pulled notebooks from their pockets and began scribbling dense notes. Information they had confirmed with their own eyes, no doubt. Of course, it wasn't my problem. Even if they wrote it all down, it wouldn't be of much use.
The Japanese academy's notoriously closed-off atmosphere meant they wouldn't be able to apply even a single improvement. From the start, the Japanese academy was the king of all idiots. Cards not accepted—cash payment only. Primitive manual sign-ins for dormitory access instead of ID tags. Yet they advertised it as a state-of-the-art academy.
'Can't escape medieval Japland, you morons.'
While I was lost in thought, one of the Japanese observers approached hesitantly. He probably wanted to watch our duel. Maybe Professor Miran had recommended this spot. The splatter genre isn't great for children's mental health, but since he'd come all this way, I walked over to greet him.
At that moment, the Japanese female student opened her mouth.
"Chung......"
"......What?"
My hands started shaking. The sudden racial slur left me unable to think straight.
'Chung? Chung? Did I mishear? Chung? Chung?'
I was dead. This was legitimate self-defense. Feeling thoroughly offended, I strode toward the observer. The female student then screamed in a voice close to a shriek, tears streaming down her face.
"Don't shoot me, Chung! I don't know Korean well! Please spare me!"
"......Huh?"
"Please don't kill me!!!!!"
"Hey, fuck, wait a second."
Before I could stop her, the Japanese observer quickly fled. The problem was that she was running straight toward the area where Hyeji was dueling.
"Please spare me!!! That person is trying to kill me!!"
The female student clung to Hyeji, sobbing loudly and pointing at me. Hyeji followed the direction of the girl's finger, then locked eyes with me. Her expression soured at record speed.
'No, fuck, I'm seriously innocent here.'
"Hey! Why are you making a kid who's just standing there cry?!"
"I didn't say anything."
"She's crying when you didn't say anything? Say something that makes sense! Apologize right now!"
".......I'm sowwy."
In the end, without even getting to explain myself, I apologized and returned to my own dueling area.
When I came back with a slightly pissed-off expression, the execution target who had been waiting for me spoke up.
"Shinu? Or should I say Shinu-ya? I don't know what happened, but anyway, I have something to tell you."
"Spit it out."
"Physical defects aren't that big a deal. Besides, dildo products these days are really well-made, so don't worry."
"Head forward."
The axe sliced through the air and buried itself cleanly in his skull. Perfect.
That's how I began rotating through and crushing every bastard who spread the Shinu Impotent theory. One thing I realized during the process:
'Axe-chopping feels insanely good. This is an academy essential item.'
While waiting for the next shift to arrive, I glanced toward Hyeji to catch my breath. The observer who had been crying like the world was ending was now laughing and chatting happily with Hyeji.
Yeah. Both of them smiling together looked nice. No problem at all.
"Kyoukyo, you really talk in a funny way."
"This is pretty wwwww interesting desu wwwww."
.......No problem at all.
Probably.
With only two days left until midterms, it was difficult to call the Ada students normal. By this point classes had lost most of their meaning anyway. Knowing that, the professors ordered self-study. Of course, the students' behavior looked nothing like actual self-study.
"If I use the Giant's power, couldn't I just erase the test?"
"This is a Trial. I accepted it as a Trial to overcome the exam."
"Jesus heaven. Unbelievers hell."
"Om mani padme hum, om mani padme hum. Om mani padme hum."
"The only salvation. Euthanasia for professors."
"If I fail this test, I'm turning the academy into an apocalypse."
...It's not 'Halmae,' you fucking idiot.
I reported the last bastard as a potential terrorist. Soon afterward, staff members came to the classroom to detain the potential terrorist. And the one they tried to arrest was me.
I was innocent. I just happened to have one thermos bomb in my bag that I was planning to gift to a professor. After a series of twists and turns, the terror suspect was dragged out of the classroom and silence quickly settled over the room. That silence seemed like it would stretch on forever.
If not for the person who suddenly appeared.
'Who is that?'
The front door burst open. The first to enter was a man with long, flowing golden hair. His fluttering white clothes were embroidered with various golden patterns, and his body was covered in ostentatious golden accessories as if showing off his wealth. But three things stood out even more than all of that.
First. Ears that were significantly longer than a human's.
'Pointy-ear bastard.'
Yes. The male student who had just entered was an elf. As if to prove it, he possessed a fairly handsome face.
Second. The earring hanging from his long right ear. Its ornament was rather peculiar—a blue, crushed circle with green decorations in the center. It looked antique and beautiful, yet somehow dangerous and sinister.
Finally, the third. The number floating above his head. It was close to 9000, but the red digits showed 7000, which was no small number. It suggested that while he had regressed many times, he had failed to reap the benefits nearly as often.
'His life was completely fucked.'
Just looking at him, the verdict was obvious. He was an idiot.
The moment the male student entered the classroom, roughly twenty female students poured in after him. They ranged from humans to elves, even beastmen. The variety was enormous. Naturally, the sight made my heart ache terribly.
The only ones who followed me around saying they liked me were summer mosquitoes and the unicorns I'd met last time.
'Fuck, some bastard had dozens of unicorns trailing after him.'
Fucking bastards. I'm not envious. I never want to see them again. The sudden memory left me feeling disturbed.
At that moment, the elf looked around and spoke.
"Where is the wench named Kim Hyeji who defeated Jung Ayeon?"
The words carried dignity yet were incredibly arrogant. They were the words of someone accustomed to standing above others. They spread quietly through the silent classroom. The female students who had followed him began twisting their bodies in what looked like ecstasy.
"Master's words are always so magnificent!"
"Aht! That's already the tenth time today."
"That bitch Hyeji. What is she doing not coming out? Making Master wait?"
"Oooooh. Come out quickly. Let's feel good together."
Thanks to the female students, something suddenly started dripping from my crotch. It was ridiculous. Really.
'This isn't Noryangjin Fish Market, but it smells fishy as hell, you fucking bitches.'
I was quite worried. Not about those bastards' heads—they had already gone as far as they could go. What worried me were the observers sharing the class with us. Especially Kyoukyo, the observer who had gotten along so well with Hyeji yesterday. She was currently sitting right next to her. This was absolutely not a pleasant sight for the observers.
'The observers are children. I have to protect them.'
Since no one answered, the elf tried to speak again. Perhaps to stop him, Hyeji snapped in an irritated tone.
"Why are you looking for me? If you have nothing better to do, fuck off."
But the elf didn't seem offended at all. Instead, he turned his gaze to Hyeji and approached her. When he reached her, he suddenly stretched out his right hand toward her face.
"I have nothing to say, so fuck off."
Hyeji raised her left hand and swatted the elf's approaching hand away. But the elf immediately reached out again and grabbed her wrist.
"You wench. Now that I see you properly, you are indeed a woman. Excellent! You have the qualifications to become this body's wife."
"Let go of me, you fucking bastard."
At that moment, the number above the elf's head increased by one. The elf smiled and muttered "light bitch." Then he leaned his face forward, moving closer to Hyeji's.
Or he tried to.
Until my fist slammed heavily into his face.
-1 REGRESSION POINT
"Keuk!"
With a heavy impact, the red number above the elf's head rose by one. The female students screamed in shock.
"Kyaaaaak! Master!!!"
"Master is being attacked!!!"
"Why would you attack Master!!!"
"What are you looking at, you fucking bitches? A guy can punch a pointy-ear in the face."
What can I do about the fact that my fist was born so mischievous? Only thinking about your master. You people are truly, horribly selfish. (;﹏;)