Just a Hollow Dream
We kept running our Chicken Skewer Tycoon stall right up until the day the preliminaries ended. And it wasn’t just chicken skewers—we tried all sorts of dishes to add variety to the menu. Grilled corn. Grilled squid. Stir-fried noodles, the works.
When there’s something fun to watch and you’re feeling a little peckish, nothing beats the sound of food sizzling over charcoal right beside you. Even a saint couldn’t resist that. So it was only natural that students—who were far from saints—couldn’t escape the temptation either.
The moment they swore they’d hold out, their willpower melted away like cotton candy in water. In its place, a writhing hunger and craving for food began to bloom. Thanks to that, even the students who had tasted Hye-ji’s spicy sales pitch on the very first day grumbled as they bought food from us anyway.
“I wasn’t gonna eat… fuck it, just give me one!”
“You evil bastards. I’m only buying this once. Never again.”
“Aaaaaagh!! I can’t take it anymore!! Just give me everything!!!”
At the same time, we bought large quantities of drinks from the cafeteria and sold them in small portions. After forcing down heavy food until your throat felt clogged, that carbonated drink sliding down and tickling your esophagus was pure demonic temptation.
Delicious food and soda. It was the greatest combination the gods had ever bestowed upon humanity.
While everyone else was sweating buckets in the preliminary matches, we were quietly raking in the profits.
That’s not “small profits,” you bastards!! You’re selling more than they would at the summit of a damn mountain!!
‘We only earned this much, so it’s not profiteering. It’s just modest gains.’
A few shameless students tried to copy us and snatch a piece of the niche market. Hyenas lurking around the long lines, waiting for an opening. But we had the ultimate weapon: Hye-ji.
The moment she casually showed her face, the effect was immediate. No student dared try to invade her territory. They shriveled up and retreated at once. Symbiosis? We didn’t tolerate that. Only infinite competition. And we crushed that fierce competition with overwhelming force.
So now we had completely monopolized the Academy’s market.
“The money’s duplicating itself!!!!!!”
“Husband! We’re going to be rich now!”
“Shinwoo! Should we just quit being hunters and open a restaurant instead!”
Elsia, Hye-ji, and I couldn’t stop laughing as we stared at the overflowing safe. But Jung Ayeon clearly disapproved of our behavior.
“How can you possibly think such unfair business practices will be tolerated!”
Jung Ayeon protested with a deeply displeased expression. I paused mid-bite of the food Elsia had accidentally dropped on the ground and looked at her.
“To think a student would forget their duty and become so intoxicated by money that they commit such wicked acts!”
“Jung Ayeon, should we cut you out of the profit sharing then?”
“Stop cutting in line and stand properly in it!”
In the blink of an eye, Jung Ayeon completely changed her attitude and began managing the queue. Unlike before, she had fully adapted to us now. Whenever sales seemed to be slowing, Hye-ji would simply walk through the crowd of students, and they would suddenly feel an overwhelming urge to eat, quietly lining up to place their orders.
Elsia worked hard making the food, I helped her while making sure the ingredients were distributed properly so the flow never stopped, and Jung Ayeon took charge of controlling the chaotic market. It was the perfect division of labor.
We sold so diligently that we eventually ran out of all the ingredients we had prepared. So we decided to take a short break.
While Elsia was briefly away, Hye-ji, Jung Ayeon, and I sat side by side, wiping away sweat and eating ice cream.
“Shinwoo, this feels so fulfilling!”
“Yeah, people really should work up a sweat.”
“…While you three were sweating, the students were shedding tears of blood.”
‘This bitch? She’s having the time of her life controlling the students and still picking fights?’
Still, at least Jung Ayeon is the most normal one here.
I snapped back at her.
“You gonna keep throwing in jabs like that?”
“Thanks to you, the students have learned how the real world works. Truly the work of a noble gentleman and lady.”
“You really do have to listen to the end with Korean.”
I hope you all get struck by lightning and die together in peace.
Jung Ayeon had already perfected the art of self-justification. It was honestly impressive to watch.
Right on cue, Elsia returned to us. While we were grilling more food to restart business, new customers arrived. It was Caersi the Saintess and the leader of the Holy Knights.
“What the hell are you guys doing here, nya?”
“Want one? We only accept cash.”
“Then give me four chicken skewers, nya.”
“Saintess! There is no need to listen to these people’s words!”
The leader of the Holy Knights stepped forward, slammed his shield into the ground with a heavy thud, and glared at us with wide eyes. Then he pointed at us with the hand still gripping the shield.
“How dare you conduct unauthorized sales in this sacred place of education! Have you no shame!”
“……You motherfucker, nya. You’re saying that while stuffing your face with chicken skewers right now, nya?”
“Ah!”
Even while spouting such righteous nonsense, the Holy Knight had already stealthily snatched a perfectly grilled skewer without us noticing and was devouring it. Seeing this, Caersi slammed her fist—wrapped in a cat punch—down on the leader’s head repeatedly while screaming. One exclamation mark per hit.
“This is exactly why! You idiots! All the Holy Knights! Are like this, nya!!”
“They say even cats won’t bother you while you’re eating!”
“You already ate it all, so what the hell are you talking about, nya!!”
“But honestly, it’s really delicious!”
Even while getting beaten, the leader of the Holy Knights stubbornly finished off every last piece of the chicken skewer. I walked over to the crumpled knight and held out my hand.
“Pay up. Money.”
“Demanding money while doing something so illegal! You have no conscience!”
“Oh really?”
The leader shamelessly suggested he would dine and dash like the trash he was. But who did he think he was dealing with? I’m a professional gambler. My hands are faster than the eye.
Before he knew it, I had his wallet in my hand and was tossing it up and down.
“I’ll let it slide this time.”
“My wallet!!”
It felt pretty heavy. There was definitely enough inside to cover several skewers.
Where the fuck do you see that as just one skewer’s worth?! That’s easily enough for dozens!!!
‘Ah, he’s a dine-and-dasher. This is just the settlement fee.’
At that moment, the leader of the Holy Knights began to laugh wickedly. At the same time, someone shouted from the direction of our food stall’s safe.
“Boss! We’ve secured it just like you ordered!”
“Good! Escape immediately!”
“Yes sir!”
Two Holy Knights who hadn’t been scolded by the Saintess yet were grunting as they carried the heavy safe. Hye-ji, Jung Ayeon, and I instantly saw red and prepared to execute the two knights, but only Elsia stood there with her hands on her hips, snorting.
“Hmph! Go ahead and take it! It won’t do you any good anyway!”
“Elsia?”
Her shocking statement made us freeze. Elsia pointed at the leader with her left index finger and declared confidently.
“Our safe only has a few coins and some chicken skewer sticks in it! So what are you gonna do about it!”
“What do you mean what are we gonna do, nya!!! You should be worried about your own futures, nya!!!”
“Hey, you fucking elf bitch, what the hell are you talking about!”
Hye-ji grabbed Elsia by the collar. Elsia spoke in a voice full of certainty, as if waiting to be praised.
“We earned so much money—where do you think it all went!”
“Just in case something like this happened, I converted everything into Elf Coin! Don’t worry!”
“Aaaaaaaaaaagh!!!!”
Hye-ji clutched her head and began manifesting a firearm. I quickly pulled her back.
“Shinwoo, let go! I’m going to kill this bitch today!!”
“Hye-ji, kill her somewhere else, not here!”
“Sister Hye-ji, please calm down! I saw it earlier—the Elf Coin was skyrocketing!”
At that moment, Caersi fiddled with her phone and showed us the Elf Coin price chart.
“You’re all fucked, nya.”
“Fuck!!!! I’m gonna kill her!!!”
“Lady Hye-ji, please endure! If you rampage, this place will turn into a battlefield!”
“Just trust me! The Elf Coin is really going to go up! Any moment now!”
“Shut the hell up, you damn elf bitch!!!!”
Even Jung Ayeon joined me in barely managing to restrain Hye-ji. I grabbed the still-fuming Hye-ji by the shoulders, smiled faintly, and said,
“Hye-ji.”
“……What.”
“Now you understand how I feel, right? I’m really glad you can relate.”
“You die first.”
“Ah, fuck.”
Why the hell are you provoking her!
My slip of the tongue had redirected all of Hye-ji’s rage straight at me. She started firing the gun loaded with dark salt bullets at me. The moment I tripped over my own legs and fell pathetically to the ground, Caersi burst in.
“Everyone stop right there, nya!!!”
It was the first time Caersi had shown any saintly dignity. Perhaps slightly overwhelmed by the sight, even Hye-ji stopped shooting and looked at her.
Caersi reached out to me where I lay and spoke kindly.
“You still haven’t given me my four chicken skewers, nya.”
“Ah, right.”
We paused our actions for a moment, grilled the skewers, and handed them to Caersi. As she was about to pay and leave, the leader of the Holy Knights roared at me.
“You bastard!!! Give me back my wallet!!!”
“You should get beaten more, nya!!!”
“Gwaaah!!”
The leader never got his wallet back. Instead, he got pummeled by Caersi. Once the Saintess and her band of Holy Knights finally left, Hye-ji’s one-sided massacre resumed.
“Fuuuuck!! It hurts so fucking bad!!”
“Husband! Dodge well!”
“Now that I think about it, you were the root of all this, weren’t you?”
“Kyaaaaaaaaaah!!! Save me!!!”
Hye-ji finally turned the barrel away from me and toward Elsia. This time it was live ammunition. Elsia activated her abilities to block the bullets while frantically running away.
While I was still lying on the ground, Jung Ayeon approached me.
“Young master, we should get back to business soon.”
“……Yeah, we should.”
Anyway, there was no getting back the lost money. We had no choice but to squeeze the students’ blood again. After that, thanks to Hye-ji’s aggressive sales tactics, we managed to refill the safe a little. But that money never actually reached us.
At some point, someone must have reported us. On the very last day of the preliminaries, we received a call from the National Tax Service saying we were suspected of tax evasion. As a result, all the remaining money we had earned was paid as fines.
On the day the final preliminary match ended, we tied Elsia up in the middle of the dueling arena. After activating the arena’s safety system, we piled firewood at her feet and lit it.
“Elf lives are precious too!!!!!!!! The Elf Coin is going to go up!!!!!!”
We said nothing as we watched Elsia burn, repeatedly rekindling the flames whenever they died down. Only her hollow screams echoed throughout the dueling arena. It almost looked like a celebratory campfire to mark the end of our business.
Despite the bright flames, that night felt especially dark.