Even Gladiators Wouldn't Be Worked This Hard
Jung Ayeon approached me with an incredibly bizarre gait. She looked like a mannequin whose every joint had been completely mangled, somehow still forcing one step after another.
Silent Heal Nurse
Ah, that one was pretty messed up.
I owe her a lot. Jung Ayeon kept her head bowed, so I couldn't see her face, but the aura radiating from her body created a faintly sinister atmosphere.
Though the distance was short, she struggled with every step. Yet her effort finally paid off. Jung Ayeon finally achieved what she wanted.
She grabbed my collar in a death grip.
"Oh. Congratulations. You finally caught me."
"Young master..."
The hand clutching my collar tightened. Veins bulged one by one across the back of her hand.
"Don't you think the name is a little... strange?"
"What's the problem? I put Cheonma in there just like you requested."
Maybe I should've gone with Cheonma's Attachment instead.
Cheonma Absorption
Doesn't it sound a bit more refined?
At that moment, Jung Ayeon lifted her head and stared straight at me. Countless dark emotions swirled in her eyes. Her green irises had already lost all color, turning pitch black.
"Jung Ayeon, why do you look so worn out? Did you read some Academy Bread or something?"
Drug Childhood Friend Route
It's a thing, you know.
"...Are you seriously asking me that?"
And then Jung Ayeon exploded.
"Why the hell is our team name such absolute dogshit?! You fucking bastard!!!!!!"
She'd completely abandoned her usual concept, shaking me back and forth while screaming at the top of her lungs. Her eyes were bloodshot with uncontainable rage as she sprayed spit everywhere.
"What's the problem? I put Cheonma in there just like you asked."
"Then who the fuck told you to slap Riding Position on the end of it?!"
"You'd prefer Doggy Style?"
"Shut up!!!!!"
Jung Ayeon ground her teeth and glared at me like she wanted to kill me.
"Riding Position?! Are you deliberately trying to insult my mother?!"
"Huh?"
Eh?
"If this isn't insulting my mother, then what is it?!"
Suddenly this had turned into a Tallulah angle. I couldn't believe it.
"Hey, Jung Ayeon. How the hell is this a Tallulah angle?"
"What are you—... Ah......."
Only then did color return to her eyes, as if my words had snapped her back to her senses. She seemed to realize how ridiculous her outburst had been.
Jung Ayeon cleared her throat, released my collar, and turned her gaze away.
"No. I misspoke. Pay it no mind."
"You sure?"
Her sudden rage vanishing left an awkward atmosphere between us.
Meanwhile, the opposing martial artists who had been watching our little quarrel began mocking our team name.
"How vulgar! So this is the limit of your caliber!"
"Hahahahahahaha!! What a perfect name for a pair of idiots!!"
The two of them cackled at each other, clearly having the time of their lives.
"It would be a waste to use our martial arts against the likes of you!"
"If you're so scared, bring out something powerful! Like that Cheonma Riding Position! Pfft!!"
"Don't you have Cheonma Face-Sitting Position?! Hahahahaha!!!"
They were laughing so hard they clutched their stomachs and collapsed to the ground.
I didn't miss the opening. Without a moment's hesitation, I circulated mana throughout my body and closed the distance to the martial artists in an instant.
Only after I'd suddenly appeared right in front of them did the martial artists react, eyes wide with shock.
"Wait! You scoundrel!"
"Attacking so suddenly and cowardly!"
"Who told you to stand there laughing?"
The martial artists cursed me as a vicious bastard for not waiting for them. But the preliminary round had already begun. The dueling arena's safety system had long since finished its activation sequence. Their lack of preparation was entirely their own fault.
Calling him a vicious bastard? How very accurate.
Whose side are you on, you bastard?
I flashed them a grin as they tried to get up.
"You wanted to see martial arts, right? I'll show you. The real thing."
"Hold on!"
I quickly drew the weapon I'd prepared before the preliminary round from my waist and pressed it against the head of one of the martial artists, who still hadn't managed to get into a proper stance.
Scream for me.
Six Hole Cannon.
- Bang!
"Guhk!"
The Six Hole Cannon. Otherwise known as a revolver. A highly reliable firearm with a rotating cylinder containing six chambers. The Blackhawk revolver in my hand was performing its role perfectly.
Normally I would've used a shotgun. It was familiar, and above all, my aim was complete garbage.
What are you talking about? You're just trash in general.
Fuck you.
But the scene from that recent Western movie had left an impression, so I wanted to try it once. As mentioned, my aim had serious issues, but at point-blank range it was more than enough to send the opponent straight to hell.
Meanwhile, the remaining martial artist finally got to his feet and tried to throw a punch at me. Jung Ayeon called out a warning.
"Young master! Watch out!"
"Too late! Before my Lightning Fist, crumble quickly!!"
True to the name of his technique, the martial artist's fist shot forward with incredible speed even though his stance was still sloppy.
However.
"Too slow."
- Bang!
"Aaaargh!!"
Before his fist could fully extend, I quickly drew another revolver with my other hand and fired. This time the distance was slightly greater, so I'd aimed for the heart, but the bullet actually hit the martial artist's left thigh.
He immediately collapsed, clutching the punctured leg, and cried out in grievance.
"You said you were going to show us martial arts!!!"
"What are you talking about? This is a venerable, time-honored martial art with a long history."
I blew on the smoking barrel of the revolver.
"This is the Western traditional martial art known as GUN Arts."
"How the hell is that martial arts?!"
"Oh? You don't know?"
I spun the revolver around my finger like a cowboy.
"The foundational technique of GUN Arts. Quick Draw."
"Don't compare the filthy foreign ways of the West to true martial arts!"
This bastard? How dare he insult America. Taste this, then. The secret art of GUN Arts.
Six Hole Cannon — Rapid Fire.
- Bang bang bang bang!
I treated the fallen martial artist to a revolver fan. Four of the five shots missed, but the final bullet, by pure luck, pierced straight through his head. The martial artist died without even letting out a death cry.
Once the outcome of the preliminary match was decided, the dueling arena system began shutting down. At the same time, the professor watching from the side raised his right hand and declared our victory.
"Winner! The Cheonma Riding Position team!"
I felt a sense of pride at having demonstrated the martial arts of the West, while Jung Ayeon covered her face with her hands and muttered gloomily.
"That was... easy."
"I want to die."
Our emotions were completely at odds.
Normally, the preliminaries would be spread out over several days. There were many students, and the main purpose was to give them some breathing room to maintain their condition.
That's why the academy usually scheduled only one preliminary match per team per day.
However.
"This is fucking exhausting."
"I agree."
Jung Ayeon and I had to complete every single one of our preliminary matches in a single day. It seemed the professors had deliberately planned to screw me over.
Having several matches called back-to-back just minutes after the previous one ended would have been harsh enough to make even a Roman gladiator demand human rights.
Of course, the first few weren't difficult. Our intense team name let us seize the initiative, and the surprise attacks on opponents who let their guard down worked pretty well.
"Setting aside how shitty the team name is, don't these people have any learning ability?"
"Honestly, even I would've been a little wary."
"Then why did you make the team name like that, you idiot!!!!"
But as the preliminaries continued and the weaklings were filtered out, this method stopped working. On top of that, we kept getting matched exclusively against Gold Rank students.
Those damn professors really went all out.
I'll get every last one of you later, you sons of bitches.
I had temporarily sealed the Cheonma Repulsor. I needed to conserve my resources as much as possible.
After that, Jung Ayeon said she wanted to show off the techniques she'd been polishing, so I quietly yielded every opportunity to her.
"Cheonma Wolf Fang Fist!!!"
Yet another student whose name I couldn't even remember collapsed after taking her strike. On the surface, it looked like a simple straight punch to the opponent's solar plexus. But the reality was a little different.
Jung Ayeon had summoned only a wolf's head at the exact moment her fist extended, using it to attack. It was only summoned for the instant of impact, but my eyes couldn't be fooled.
"To deliberately include the word Cheonma... How unsightly."
"......Shut up."
Jung Ayeon couldn't refute it and simply averted her gaze.
Still, everything has an end. When the sun began to set, we finally faced our last opponent.
The final team was called Bastard... Duel!. It consisted of one muscular student wearing only a red octagonal hat and red triangular panties, paired with another student holding a duel disk.
They look insanely strong.
Anyone who brings cards to a place like this is the 'real deal'.
Contrary to my worries, the fight ended ridiculously quickly. The moment Jung Ayeon summoned various birds of prey, the student in the red triangular panties sprinted out of the arena at incredible speed. The duelist, meanwhile, couldn't do anything. His hand was probably bricked.
Not wanting to miss the chance, I quickly closed in on the duelist and activated the 3 o'clock position on my right hand's Mana Tattoo to materialize a mace.
The duelist shouted in a desperate voice.
"Chain! Chain! Haru Urara!"
"That won't work. This came from my hand."
Taking my final step, I spoke to the duelist in a calm voice.
"In other words, it was special summoned from the deck."
"No way!"
I brought the mace down on the duelist's head and shouted.
"Jounouchi Fire!!"
"At least say Crusher!!"
- KWAANG!
With that, our final preliminary match came to an end.
When I looked toward the professors, they were staring in shock. They clearly hadn't expected us to win all the way to the end.
I strode confidently toward the professors in what could only be called a Silver Return. It felt too grandiose to call it a Golden Return when it was still just the preliminaries.
One professor with a protruding front tooth glared at me and ground his teeth.
"Those useless bastards!!! They couldn't even take down a single idiot like this!!!"
"Do not be so hasty. It is not that they were weak."
I turned my back and walked toward Jung Ayeon, murmuring softly.
"It was simply that their opponent was me. Nothing more."
"You bastard!!!!!"
Leaving the professor's scream behind, Jung Ayeon and I headed back to the dormitory with the setting sun at our backs.
She looked utterly exhausted, but she couldn't hide her smile. Probably because our advancement to the main tournament was now confirmed.
"Young master, how do you feel right now?"
"How do I feel?"
With the setting sun behind us, there was only one line that fit this moment.
"Ah, I'm satisfied."
Anyway, we had secured our spot in the main tournament on the very first day of the preliminaries. It felt exactly like finishing your summer vacation homework on the first day of break.