Always Give Clear Instructions When Assigning Tasks
The tournament preliminaries were practically inevitable. With so many students participating, it only made sense to run an elimination round before the main bracket. Those selected would get a phone call the day before, then gather at the Dueling Arena by the appointed time to compete under a professor’s supervision.
Jung Ayeon and I had both been chosen, so we arrived early and were waiting our turn. The process only applied to the selected participants, though. Everyone else could do whatever they wanted—watch the matches, attend classes at their sponsoring guilds, or handle personal errands.
Compared to first year, the academy felt so free it was hard to believe it was the same place. As a result, both the students fighting in the preliminaries and those enjoying their free time were perfectly content.
All except one team.
Hye-ji and Elsia’s team, Truly Kill Everyone.
Hye-ji and Elsia were glaring at the supervising professor with pitiful expressions, protesting at full volume. The reason? They had received sudden disqualification notices before the preliminaries even began.
“W-well, as you both know, at the registration desk they handed out those small slips of paper at the end. You were supposed to write down a team name—”
“We didn’t do that. We just came straight here.”
“That’s right!”
“That slip was for voting on which team to eliminate this tournament.”
The professor explained that the small papers handed out at the end were for a vote to remove one team. The reasoning was that an overwhelmingly strong team could ruin the fun of the entire bracket. And so, through an overwhelming number of votes, Truly Kill Everyone had been confirmed for disqualification.
Of course, Hye-ji and Elsia weren’t about to accept that quietly.
“Ten.”
The moment Hye-ji started counting, the professor forced a smile across his face as if he’d been thrown a lifeline and began speaking as fast as humanly possible.
“Ten minutes? That should be enough time for me to prepare appropriate compensation—”
“Nine.”
“P-please stop!”
Hye-ji’s merciless countdown continued. The professor, now deathly pale, spouted meaningless nonsense before finally making a rather bold offer.
“I’ll give you perfect scores on every final exam! I’ll even throw in extra compensation!”
“Five… four…”
“How much are we talking?”
“Would this amount suffice?!”
While Hye-ji continued reciting the remaining time until the apocalypse in a completely blank voice, Elsia glanced at the number the professor frantically showed her.
And then—
“Yes! Yes! Understood! Thank you!”
“Hey! You fucking pushover!”
Elsia had accepted the deal. The professor, looking like he had just escaped death, bowed repeatedly to her with tears in his eyes before hurriedly making a call somewhere.
Meanwhile, Hye-ji’s murderous glare turned toward Elsia. Elsia quickly dragged her into a corner and began whispering. Whatever they were saying, I couldn’t hear a word from where I sat.
“There will be other chances. Let’s aim for the next one.”
“When the hell is the next one?!”
“Scared?”
“You bitch—?”
Hye-ji returned with a sullen expression and spoke to the professor.
“Give us four times the amount you offered that pushover.”
“T-that’s too much! How about double?”
“Four times.”
“We’ll double it and exempt you from all second-semester exams! How does that sound?!”
“Four times.”
Hye-ji’s tone was absolute. But the professor, determined not to yield this time, spoke firmly.
“That is absolutely impossible! Instead, I’ll give you two complete gift sets of the bosom enhancement pills!”
“Four times.”
“I can’t! Just kill me instead!”
“Really?”
The expression vanished from Hye-ji’s face.
“Three…”
“Ugh! Fine! I’ll compromise at triple!”
“Two…”
“Aaaah! Okay! Four times! We’ll do four times!”
Hye-ji’s countdown ultimately produced a dramatic compromise. On top of that, she somehow managed to wrangle four additional gift sets of the bosom enhancement pills.
By now even Hye-ji must understand. That it’s the same as trying to make flowers bloom in the middle of a wasteland…
Even if a dream can never come true, you still have to hold onto it.
That’s what makes it so beautiful.
Once all the negotiations were over, Hye-ji and Elsia came over to us. Hye-ji’s expression as she clutched the gift sets wasn’t exactly cheerful, while Elsia was grinning ear to ear, clearly delighted by the sudden windfall.
Hye-ji plopped down heavily on my right and immediately started grumbling.
“This is so fucking annoying. I want to rip everyone apart.”
“……Hye-ji, this is actually a dangerous time. That’s election law violation.”
The upload date is looking shaky too…
Fuck. Seriously.
Elsia sat on my left and dropped a truly dangerous line.
“You crazy bitch! Shut the hell up!”
I hurriedly clamped my hand over Elsia’s mouth. Hye-ji let out a small sigh, then tossed four or five of the bosom enhancement pills into her mouth and began chewing.
Watching her, I couldn’t help but ask.
“By the way, Hye-ji, do those bust enhancement pills actually work?”
“It’s not a novel. You really think something like that exists? It’s all just a joke.”
“Big sis Hye-ji! I want to try one too!”
“Go ahead.”
The moment Hye-ji gave permission, Elsia snatched one of the pills and popped it into her mouth.
“Mmm~! It tastes like strawberry!”
“Yeah. No effect, but the flavor’s decent.”
“It really is!……Huh?”
Elsia, who had been savoring the taste, suddenly froze. Soon after, she began frowning slightly and letting out small, pained moans.
“Ugh……”
“Pushover, what’s wrong with you?”
“Elsia, are you okay?”
“Lady Elsia! What is the matter?”
“Ugh…. It hurts!!”
Elsia clutched her chest and cried out in pain. The moment we all started panicking at her sudden reaction—
-BOOM!!!
The front of Elsia’s blouse exploded with a violent tearing sound. Only then did she stop letting out those painful moans. She looked as if she had been freed from the agony of constriction. With a calm expression once more, Elsia covered her now-exposed chest with her hands and spoke in a tone of genuine wonder.
“Oh! My chest really did get bigger!”
I can’t believe that actually worked…
To be honest, I didn’t believe it would.
At that exact moment, Hye-ji collapsed to the floor beside me with a heavy thud. Her eyes were wider than they had ever been, locked onto Elsia’s chest. She didn’t move an inch, as if she had been petrified. The sight of her on the verge of breaking from the sheer despair of this unbelievable reality.
Whether Hye-ji lived or died, Elsia approached her and began poking at her chest.
“Big sis Hye-ji! It really works! Thank you so much!”
“I’m…. Datto?………”
The moment those words left her mouth, Hye-ji’s aura vanished completely.
After that, once Hye-ji had recovered her aura, she began devouring the bosom enhancement pills like a starving beast, chewing everything in sight. But her chest didn’t budge. It remained utterly still, peaceful as a calm lake. There was no pain of growth, but in perfect inverse proportion, the pain in her heart only grew stronger.
Hye-ji pounded on her concrete-hard chest, expressing her rage without any filter whatsoever.
This time even Elsia seemed to value her life. Claiming she needed to repair her blouse, she fled the dueling arena at top speed. Hye-ji, unable to let it go, was violently tearing open another gift set of the pills.
At that moment, the number floating above Hye-ji’s head went up by one. Her frantically moving hands suddenly stopped dead. I simply watched in silence. I had already predicted this future.
The broken Hye-ji suddenly began shedding tears of blood. Making incomprehensible wailing sounds, she slowly shuffled out of the dueling arena. All we could do was watch her retreating figure with complicated feelings.
Is there truly no way to make Hye-ji’s chest grow?
Reviving the dead would probably be easier.
Once Hye-ji had completely disappeared from sight, Jung Ayeon let out a sigh of relief and spoke to me.
“In any case, it is truly fortunate that we will not have to fight those two, I say.”
“We would’ve lost for sure if we did.”
Elsia’s already high utility had become even more troublesome. Hye-ji had always been insane. There was no path to victory against that combination. It really was a relief they had been eliminated.
Just then, the professor in the distance called out our names.
“The time has finally come for this lady to display her honed skills, I say.”
“Yeah. Let’s do our best.”
We stood up and bumped fists, a sign that we would both give it our all. When we reached the arena floor, our opponents turned out to be two martial artists. The moment they saw Jung Ayeon, they began mocking her mercilessly.
“Hah! To think a so-called martial artist would cling to that bastard of all people! Have you no pride?!”
“You are a disgrace to all martial artists!”
“……”
Jung Ayeon said nothing and simply stood there. After all, out of the four people gathered here, three of them were supposedly martial artists and hadn’t bothered with any special preparations. I picked up a suitable weapon. The moment I took my position, the professor began operating the arena system while announcing the team names.
“We will now begin the tournament preliminaries.”
He pointed at the two martial artists and announced their team.
Apparently he couldn’t quite remember it, because he had to practically shove his face into the paper to read it.
“On the left! The Strong Prevail, Weak Perish team!”
The moment their team name was called, the martial artists laughed at us with absolute confidence. Then the professor pointed at us and announced our team name.
“On the right! The Cheonma—”
“Heh. The time has come for this lady to reveal her signature ultimate technique.”
“—Riding Position team!”
“……What?”
Jung Ayeon’s movements froze mid-motion. Cracks appeared across her previously confident face. She turned her head toward me with the creaking stiffness of a broken doll. Her eyes were normally green, yet right now they looked like deep, dark abysses.
I smiled brightly at that Jung Ayeon and waved.
Cheonma Cowgirl Position.
That was our team name.
I hadn’t done anything wrong. After all, the name did contain “Cheonma.” If she had a problem with it, she should have spoken more clearly from the start.
Can’t you just hold your breath and die like a good boy?