The Black Knight Swore to the Blind Saintess

I rose from the counter and approached the orc.

"These fucking bastards have completely lost their minds..."

Eve turned to look at me in horror.

The orc underling scowled. "What? What did you just say?"

"You're trying to poach my employee right in front of me, the owner? Are you insane?"

Ignoring the flunky beside him, I got a good close-up look at the orc everyone called Boss.

He looked down at me as though I were beneath contempt. "Don't tell me you don't know who I am."

"You're the leech living off the money the red-light district girls earn selling their bodies, aren't you?"

The orc beside him flared up on his boss's behalf. "Why you—!"

The big orc held his man back. "You're a funny one."

I slipped a hand into my pocket. "Believe it or not, I'm on pretty friendly terms with the captain of the Imperial Gendarmerie. He stops by here every single time to buy our premium rabbit-beastfolk onaholes."

"Hilarious."

The orc snorted. I tilted my head. "What's so funny, over and over? Been sitting in the red-light district so long your taste for amusement has gone numb?"

"You don't mean Panto, the gendarmerie captain? Whenever he visits our street, he always calls up a rabbit beastgirl to play with before he leaves. He and I go way back too."

Oh no. I only asked whether his Panto was ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the same man — and now the orc had gone and confirmed it for me. Awkward.

I scratched my head. "Ahem. In that case, why not spare the captain the embarrassment and just back off?"

"That bastard Panto takes my kickbacks. You think he'd side with some onahole-peddler like you? Hmm?"

You bastard! Weaponizing facts like a coward!

He jabbed his chin toward Eve and went on. "If I decide to take this woman, what exactly are you going to do about it? You wouldn't dare come at me—"

CRASH!

In that instant, the shop's glass door exploded inward — and the body of Gale, boss of the red-light district, blasted through the doorway like a artillery shell courtesy of my kick.

K-BOOM!

He slammed into the wall across the street. There he stayed, arms and legs splayed against the brick like some fossil freshly excavated from the stone.

"You little shit. I told you to get lost."

To be honest, I'd never had a solid feel for how much force to use when hitting a person. Well, good — now I knew. Roughly this much, give or take.

"BOSSYYYYY!"

The orc underling wailed miserably at my side — then, "You son of a bitch!" — he swung a fist of vengeance at my face.

Should I try out Vajra Body and take one on the chin? I do need to calibrate, after all.

But before that wildly swinging fist could land, my body — which wanted no part of getting hit — moved on pure instinct. I deflected the incoming punch and jabbed my fingertip into the man's windpipe. Tap.

"Kkuhk."

He clutched his throat and collapsed to his knees. I seized him by the skull and drove a knee straight into his face.

CRACK.

He lost consciousness without so much as a final scream, twin streams of blood already running from his nose.

"Eve. Stay inside. Don't come out."

Eve, frozen stiff with shock, nodded reflexively.

I grabbed the underling by the hair and dragged him out of the shop. The orc embedded in the wall had — remarkably — come back to his senses. "Uuuugh..."

Thud. I dumped the flunky carelessly onto the ground and planted myself in front of the red-light district's boss. He blinked his bleary eyes, spotted me, and screwed up his face. "Ugh. You bastard..."

In the next instant, his eyes turned red.

"I can smell blood. A truly vile stench of it."

"Kkuhuuk."

He strained to pry himself out of the wall. Stone dust crumbled down around him.

A crowd was already gathering. I pressed him. "You. You use black magic, don't you?"

"Kkuuh."

"A thickskulled brute like you could never have learned magic. You carved it into your body instead, I'd bet."

I tore his shirt open. On both sides of his chest, tattoo-like markings were glowing to life.

"Well, well. Look at this, you bastard."

Even with all these witnesses around, he's willing to use black magic. His determination to kill me no matter what radiates off him.

"Listen carefully. I don't care about tattoos — but tough-guy tattoo punks are banned from my shop."

Before he could bring any black magic to bear, I drove my fist into his sternum.

THWACK. Crunch.

Something inside him shattered.

"Puhuek."

The orc, halfway out of the wall, vomited black blood and slammed back into the brick.

"When the guard gets here, you'll be dragged off and hanged on the spot."

I turned and examined the underling sprawled on the ground. "Now then. What should I do with you?"

Just then—

Eve shouted urgently. "Boss! Behind you!"

Yeah. I know.

I had to give him a real chance to kill me before the guard arrived — otherwise he might play innocent later and deny ever knowing anything about black magic. I needed to show him an opening.

And so—

"GRAAAAAAAGH!"

The orc's body flushed crimson and began to twist. The thing that tore free of the wall was a demon with rows of ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠fangs — and it came lunging straight at me.

"Yeesh. Disgusting."

Its appearance alone made my brow furrow. Before the demon could even close the distance, I snapped my fingers.

A cloud of golden light swallowed the demon whole.

Pop.

Its neck and waist twisted out of alignment.

"Uh?"

Thud.

It crumpled to the ground, dead on the spot. The onlookers who had been holding their breath began to murmur.

I raised my hands to reassure them. "Rest easy, everyone. I simply used holy magic to subdue a man consumed by black magic."

A back-alley sex toy shop owner wielding holy magic. Here's hoping I don't pick up some ridiculous nickname over it. The people in this world just love slapping strange epithets on people — red-haired Sieg, the Saintess of the White Rose, Emilia the Crimson Jewel of the Empire...

"Did you see that? He caught a demon!"

"The Dildo King caught a demon!"

"Holy magic, he said."

"The Holy Dildo King!"

"Saint Onahole! Saint Onahole!"

You little bastards. I hoped against hope it wouldn't happen — and still. That's just cruel. I did a genuinely good deed, so why does it feel like I'm being bullied?

Amid the cheers, I crouched down beside the fallen orc underling.

Ptoo.

I spat at him. "Hey. Get up. I know perfectly well your eyes are shut."

"..."

"Oh, right. You little shit. Guess a hole has to get drilled through that skull of yours before—"

At that, the orc's eyes fluttered open. He pushed his upper body up from the ground. "Huh? Where... where is this? Who am I?"

He blinked with eyes of pure, guileless innocence.

I nodded along. "Uh-huh. Sure. Go on, keep going."

He spotted the demon's corpse lying dead nearby, then turned to me. "Could it be... you saved me from that monster? Thank you so very much."

The flunky pressed his hands together and spoke like a blushing maiden.

I let out a long sigh. "Whew. Don't ever pursue a career in acting. Understood?"

"..."

"Answer."

The last ember of hope died in the man's eyes. "...Yes," he answered, watching my face carefully.

"Name."

"Me?"

I smacked him upside the head. WHAP!

"Your name is 'me?'"

"AAK! Digo! Digo! Digo!"

"So your name's DigoDigoDigo, is it?"

"Just... Digo."

Digo rubbed his throbbing head.

"You trimming your words short on me?"

"It's Digo."

"Right, then. Digo. As of today, you're the new owner of the red-light district."

"Huh?"

"From now on, if any of the girls under you get caught wandering this street, you die in their place. Understood?"

I held my fist out in front of his eyes.

"Um..."

Digo seemed to have objections. "You don't like it? Come here, then. Let's find you a mirror. I'll show you your brains leaking out through a fresh hole in your skull."

He waved his hands in frantic denial. "No! No, that's not it. Could I not simply... refrain from bad deeds and just go about my business? I often go to that bakery over there, you see..."

Digo said timidly.

That bakery? Well. It is cheap and tasty, I suppose.

"Fine. I'll allow that much."

"Thank you."

"And from now on, every condom and every sex toy consumed in the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠red-light district will be product from my shop. If you have complaints, a hole opens in your head — so choose your answers carefully."

"I have no complaints."

"Good. Now, a little test. If your girls come to you and say, 'Let's avenge our dead boss,' what will you tell them?"

An earthquake erupted in Digo's pupils. I could practically hear the rusted gears of his long-unused brain grinding violently back into motion. Brain at full power!

He beat the deadline and answered fast. "Uh... yes! I'll tell them that you, sir, have close ties to the Imperial family, and that our boss — no, that demon bastard — made the grave mistake of crossing you!"

"Good. Not bad. And you won't go using any black magic like that thing, right?"

"No, sir."

Digo nodded with violent enthusiasm.

I clapped him on the shoulder. "Let's do good work together."

"Yes, sir!"

I dusted off my hands, stood, and walked back into the shop. Eve was staring at me, jaw unable to close.

"Boss. What on earth was that?"

I smiled at her. "So? This should be enough to enter the knight tournament, don't you think?"

Wait. He's monstrously strong AND he can use magic? That's why he wanted to enter the knight tournament?

Eve averted her gaze and wrung her hands together. "W-well, if you just study swordsmanship..."

What is wrong with me. I must have gone insane. In the middle of all this, I'm actually thinking I want the boss to ravish me.

"Eve?"

"Yes?"

She looked up at me with expectant eyes.

"I need to look into getting the door fixed."

"Yes? Ah... yes. I'll call someone to repair it."

"Using my strength after so long has left me tired."

I returned to my seat, sank into the chair, closed my eyes quietly, and waited for the guard to arrive.

Before long they came and collected the monster's corpse.

"Eve, I'm worn out. Let's put off the condom review until tomorrow."

Might as well leave her stewing in anticipation.

"Yes..."

Eve stroked the pink ♡ on her lower abdomen.

Hng... Ian Castollini, you wicked man...

She would have to keep that womb tattoo glowing ♡ all the way until morning.

The next morning.

When I came out of the shower, Eve was perched on the edge of the bed in a sky-blue one-piece lingerie set. The moment our eyes met, she turned her head away. The look on her face seemed equal parts nervous and quietly sulky. Through the sheer blue fabric, the ♡ on her lower abdomen flashed in and out of view.

She's in full heat, no question about it.

Eve fiddled needlessly ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠with the condom set she'd placed on the bedside. "We have to review these this morning, so..."

"And what's with that lewd outfit?"

"Ah, this? I was thinking we could dress the mannequin downstairs in it and write up a review as well. So, um... what do you think?"

Her hands came up demurely to rest above her chest.

"Good idea. You mean we should start selling clothes too?"

"No, that's not what I—"

"Hmm?"

"...Does it suit me?"

Eve pressed her lips tightly together and looked away.

Sauntering toward her, my massive cock — the holy one — swinging freely, I closed the distance to Eve.