The Black Knight Swore to the Blind Saintess
"As you can see from the reviews, I've never actually been with an elf before."
"I'd like to know the difference between the real thing and an onahole, you see."
At my ambush of audacity, Rene finally exploded in fury.
"Hey, you—Mr. Lunatic!"
I calmly talked the agitated woman down.
"Please, calm down and hear me out. I think it's a rather good offer. If you experience my product firsthand, boss, wouldn't you be able to make something far better than this?"
She must have concluded that reasoning with me was utterly hopeless, because she turned her gaze toward Eve standing beside me instead.
But Eve was staring only at me, her face a picture of shock.
"M-Mas... Master..."
Ian Castollini! You trash of a man! Leaving delicious me behind to go chasing other women? What exactly am I lacking?! You could just do it with me!
Beside her, Rene squeezed her eyes shut and pressed a hand to her forehead.
To Rene's eyes, Eve apparently looked nothing more than a flesh-slave clinging to her master's affections.
She took a moment to collect herself, then spoke with composure.
"You are..."
"Ian Castollini."
"Yes. Well. Mr. Castollini. Even if you really can penetrate this thing, I don't stand to gain anything. Do you seriously believe a proper wager is one where all the risk falls on me? Why on earth would I ever accept such an absurd proposal?"
"If I fail to penetrate it, I'll give you this shop."
"Excuse me?"
Her eyes went wide.
"You know perfectly well that a shop of this caliber in Pisak is worth a considerable sum."
"Ah—no, that's far too much..."
"I'm simply seeking compensation for being insulted as a fraud. Think of it as a kind of duel. Judging by the fact that you came all the way here yourself, you seem to have quite a fondness for your own products. Shouldn't you verify them?"
"..."
"Whether it truly gets penetrated."
I curled the corners of my mouth upward.
There was no need to move to a back room. We closed the shop's door and pulled down the blinds, and the elf lower-body onahole was laid out atop the counter.
"You selected it yourself, from among the unopened stock. That much is certain."
She nodded.
"Then let us begin."
I yanked down my trousers and underwear in one motion.
Thwump.
The Conditioning Giant Cock (Holy) revealed itself.
Rene's brow furrowed slightly.
Good heavens. The length, the girth—neither makes any sense. The first real cock I ever lay eyes on, and it has to be that? Surely I'm not actually expected to take that? No. No, it can't be. Impossible. Thousands of reviews, and not a single word about anything like this.
I turned toward Eve and pressed my swelling member against her.
"Eve?"
"Yes, Master."
Kneeling before me, she needed no instruction—she took my cock in hand and began to suck of her own accord.
"I'll start by coating it with my flesh-slave's natural love jelly."
At my casual teasing, Rene offered no reply and simply folded her arms.
Eve shot her a sidelong glance and, quite deliberately, sucked with loud, slurping sounds.
That's right, you stupid elf bitch. Go ahead and fall for this cock yourself. See for yourself how incredible our master's—no, wait, our boss's—cock truly is! Learn exactly what happens when you smear false accusations on him!
Slurp, slurp.
I stroked Eve's head affectionately.
"Mmm. Good. Eve."
Sucking all the while, she flashed me a knowing smile with her eyes.
Boss, even if that woman died and came back to life, she could never suck like this. This is something only someone who's received special employee training from you—someone like me—could ever manage. Right?
Eve strained herself, forcing the giant cock deep into her throat.
"Aagh."
"That's enough. Eve. Well done."
The thick shaft slid back out of her throat in one long, curving withdrawal.
It emerged glistening, coated in Eve's clear saliva, droplets dripping from its tip.
"Haah... hah."
Eve wiped the drool from her lips and stood.
I walked over and positioned myself in front of the elf onahole.
"Won't you come closer and watch, boss?"
"I'm quite fine here. I can see well enough from this distance. Do get started."
Eve brought over a tube of love jelly.
"It feels better if you fill the inside with jelly first."
"Is that really necessary?"
"Oh come on, it absolutely is."
She squeezed a generous cord of jelly deep into the onahole's opening.
Rene swallowed an awkward cough before speaking.
"Ahem. That's... actually correct. You know your products well."
"It says to do that in the instruction manual."
Rene looked genuinely surprised at Eve's words.
"You... actually read the manual? Most people never touch it even when told to. Do you have any idea how much agonizing went into writing those instructions?"
Eve asked, "Oh? Did you write the manual yourself?"
"Of course. It is, after all, a one-woman operation."
"Ohh. I see."
I slid my cock into the onahole.
The love jelly deep inside was crushed and smeared everywhere as the folds of flesh clenched tight around my shaft.
Mmm, she's right. It's noticeably better than last time. The jelly really does make a difference.
I began to move my hips in slow, steady strokes.
The jelly squelched inside the onahole with each thrust, producing lewd, wet sounds.
Squelch, squelch, squelch.
Rene still looked skeptical.
Isn't he just some pervert who loves showing off his equipment in front of others? Penetrate it, he says. That's absurd by any reasonable standard.
I picked up the pace of my pistoning.
Slap slap slap slap.
The onahole helplessly received my cock, again and again.
Beside me, Eve watched the onahole being ravished and rubbed her hips together restlessly.
If that were... if that were me...
Her womb tattoo was glowing a brighter pink than ever before.
When I pushed my speed to its maximum, the slapping sounds gave way to my balls hammering against the onahole with a full-throated smack of flesh on flesh.
Rene began drifting toward me, as if in a trance.
Th-that's impossible. He's actually going to do it. Wait. No. He's really going through with it?!
I briefly considered invoking Vajra Body, but thanks to the great Bibic, my body was already as hard as steel at all times—there was no real need to waste a skill.
I drove the giant cock into the onahole, pushing it in to the very hilt.
Riiiip.
It went through.
The head of my cock poked cheekily out the far end of the onahole in greeting.
Rene, thunderstruck, rushed right up beside me.
I released the onahole from my grip and turned my body.
A horrifying sight: the elf lower-body skewered vertically on the giant cock jutting up toward the ceiling.
Rene stood speechless, her lips merely opening and closing.
"Do you believe me now?"
I pulled my cock free of the pierced onahole and set it down on the counter.
A brief silence settled over the shop.
For a long while, Rene Pendleton turned the onahole this way and that, examining it.
No mana. No magical trickery, either. This was truly... truly penetrated.
She spoke my name.
"Mr. Ian Castollini?"
She looked back and forth between me and Eve. Then—
"?"
She bowed her head deeply.
"I apologize. I was discourteous to the both of you. Please accept my sincerest apologies."
"Well then—"
Rene lifted her head.
"However, I'm afraid I won't be able to keep the terms of our wager. My apologies."
Shameless, was it? Or perhaps, for offering an apology, oddly well-mannered?
She continued.
"In exchange, I'd like to propose something different."
Rene Pendleton pushed up her glasses and steered the conversation toward business.
"I want to develop an improved version of this elf lower-body onahole, along with a magic dildo modeled after your... equipment, Mr. Castollini. In return, I'll grant you exclusive sales rights at this shop for a fixed period, plus a not-inconsiderable share of the revenue from its future sales across the Empire. How does that sound?"
"Hmm."
Not a bad deal, actually.
Suddenly flushing red, Rene averted her eyes from my gaze as she spoke.
"For your reference, I should mention—this lower-body onahole was molded from my own body."
"...From yours?"
That explains it.
Why she was a one-woman operation. Why she showed such devotion to her products that she'd come all this way herself.
"I'm afraid it would be difficult to explain the full crafting process at the moment, but—suffice it to say, when I take the mold, I insert a virtual magic dildo inside myself and move around, then run the piece through an enchantment process that reproduces the internal sensations as faithfully as possible."
"Ohh. I see."
Wait.
If that was what she meant, then—
"For the improved version, so that nothing like... this penetration can ever happen again, I suppose we'd have to use not the virtual magic dildo, but Mr. Castollini's... actual..."
Rene glanced sidelong at me, then quickly looked away again.
You bewitching, shameless elf witch!
Eve kept sneaking glances at my face from the side.
I nodded.
"I see."
So, to sum it up—
She couldn't bring herself to crudely offer me her body outright, the way I'd demanded. But the product's creation process would unavoidably require the act of insertion. That was what she meant.
"Whenever you have the time, do pay a visit to the address on my business card. Well then."
The successful businesswoman delivered her exit line with perfect poise, turned on her heel with cool elegance, and made to leave the shop—
"U-um, excuse me, how do I open this?"
—but couldn't get out, because she couldn't work the closed door.
"One moment. I'll get it for you."
Eve hurried over and opened it for her.
"Thank youu..."
She shrank into herself and scurried out of the shop as if fleeing the scene.
The next day.
"Boss, there's a delivery for you."
Eve brought over a package.
"It's from Rene Pendleton, apparently."
I tore open the wrapping and inspected the contents: condoms in a rainbow of colors, and a single note.
After reading it, I said, "Miss Pendleton wants us to review the new condoms she's just finished making. Apparently she's willing to sell them exclusively through our shop for the time being—and she'll hand over a cut of the profits. Should we take it?"
"Yes! Yes, we should!"
Having heard the terms, Eve nodded her head with fervor.
Just then—
With the jingle of a doorbell, the shop's door swung open.
Two orcs, each standing well over two meters tall, stepped inside. Their shirts looked ready to burst off their thick, muscular frames.
The pair swept the shop with a slow, appraising glance.
"Welcome! Is there anything I can help you find?"
Eve hurried over to greet them.
One of the orcs spoke.
"Big brother, this is the place I told you about. Isn't she a beauty? And above all, what a obscenely gorgeous body."
The one addressed as big brother looked Eve up and down and said,
"Hey there, missy. Ever thought about working for us?"
"Excuse me?"
"The brothel at the far end of that street over there. A girl like you could make dozens of times more money there than in a shop like this. What do you say?"
Eve forced her expression to stay pleasant.
So they're the ones running the brothel, are they? Stay calm, Evangeline. Handle this wrong, and these brutes could cause trouble not just for the shop, but for the boss too. This is the man who decided to become a knight without ever learning how to fight, after all. Before he recklessly steps out and gets himself hurt, I'll just—
"Ahaha, I'm really not interested—"
I rose from behind the counter and walked up to the orcs.
"These fucking bastards just walked right in, huh..."
Eve turned to look at me, her face frozen in horror.