13
13. The Original Mindset
“......I think I’m going to die.”
“I bought you some coffee, so drink it quickly.”
“I don’t think coffee alone is going to be enough..... Anyway, thanks.”
We decided to take a short break at the airport in Saskatchewan.
Since Hyerin had a driver’s license, I had assumed Mina did too.
Unfortunately, Mina didn’t have a license, so I had no choice but to drive all the way back as well.
I brought the coffee I had bought from a small convenience store near the airport to my lips.
Gulp..... gulp.....
Perhaps because the warm Americano was entering an empty stomach, I could feel its warmth quickly spreading through my
body.
“Phew......”
“Are you feeling a little better now?”
“I’m not fully awake, but I think I’ve at least come to my senses.”
“That’s a relief.”
“Yaaawn......”
“.....Are you really awake?”
I had regained consciousness, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t sleepy.
Driving after getting only two hours of sleep had definitely been reckless.
“They were selling anti-drowsiness gum too, so I bought some.”
“Thanks.”
I immediately put the anti-drowsiness gum Mina had bought into my mouth.
Chew, chew.
As the strong minty scent began irritating the tip of my nose, my brows gradually furrowed.
“.....It’s spicy.”
“That’s how it wakes you up. Keep chewing.”
Chew, chew.
After about ten minutes passed like that, I slowly got to my feet.
“I’m awake now.”
“Really? You’re completely awake?”
“Yeah. Probably.”
I couldn’t guarantee it, but perhaps because I had drunk coffee and chewed the anti-drowsiness gum, my sleepiness was
gradually beginning to disappear.
“Let’s go.”
It was only after an hour had passed since we arrived at the airport that we were finally able to leave again.
---
Throughout the journey, Mina kept starting conversations so that I wouldn’t fall asleep.
Perhaps because I kept talking, I could definitely feel the drowsiness slowly disappearing.
“By the way, Oppa, do you remember when we were young?”
“Honestly, I don’t.”
“Eeeh? You used to play with Hyerin! We went to the stream nearby, played at the playground, and even went to the PC
bang where you taught us how to play games.”
“Did I?”
“Yes. You really don’t remember?”
“Hmm......”
To be honest, I didn’t remember a single thing.
I did feel as though some memories were gradually returning, but nothing came back clearly.
“You’ve changed, Oppa.”
“I have?”
“Yes. You used to talk so energetically when you were younger. But today, you barely talk.”
“I think it’s because I’m sleepy.”
“I mean even before that. It doesn’t feel like you’re even happy to see me!”
“Hmm......”
To be honest, I was actually quite shocked looking at Mina sitting beside me.
‘This is Mina.....?’
Come to think of it, Jeongmin had good genes.
When he was young, he had been quiet and skinny, but once he seriously started exercising, muscles had developed on his
body incredibly quickly.
The same seemed to be true for Mina.
‘She has good genes.’
Unlike Jeongmin’s heavily muscular, masculine physique, Mina had the kind of toned body that women would envy.
Maintaining my composure in front of Mina, who clearly exercised regularly and had such a firm figure, was honestly
somewhat difficult.
“Oh, right. Oppa, you said you’re going home in two weeks, right?”
“That’s the plan.”
“Hyerin was really worried about you. She always said you looked like a zombie walking around the house because you
always had such a dead expression.”
“.....Hyerin did? More importantly, do you still keep in touch with her?”
“Of course! We talked just yesterday. It’s been a long time since we met, though.”
“So you two have been keeping in touch..... I didn’t know.”
It wasn’t that Hyerin and I had a bad relationship, but we didn’t contact each other very often.
I was always shut inside my room writing, so even the number of days I saw Hyerin in a month was small.
Sometimes, when I was exhausted from work and went to the refrigerator in the middle of the night, the only time I would
see Hyerin was when she came out of her room to use the bathroom.
‘Is that really strange?’
We were around the same age, and they had known each other since childhood, so there wasn’t anything particularly
strange about it.
“She was really worried about you. She said you were having a really hard time.”
“I made her worry. Well..... Hyerin is working part-time and studying now too.”
Unlike me, Hyerin was smart enough to get into a university in Seoul.
She was also steadily working toward her future while holding down a part-time job, so there was nothing for me to
interfere with.
“How have you been?”
“In Canada? Or in Korea?”
“Both.”
“Nothing much happened. Three years ago, I came here with Oppa, and recently I became Canadian.”
“You didn’t become one right away?”
“No. We weren’t born in Canada.”
I didn’t know exactly how Canada’s immigration programs worked, but it seemed like adapting to such an unfamiliar
environment must have been difficult for them.
“Oh. And it wasn’t particularly difficult for me. Oppa was the one who had a really hard time.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I was good at English. Unlike Oppa.”
“You were good at English?”
“I was born in Korea, but when I was young, I was the only one who stayed at my grandfather’s house in Canada.”
“......”
I didn’t know what any of that meant, but I assumed there was some complicated family history and decided to let it go.
“By the way, Oppa. Is there anything in the car?”
“Are you hungry?”
“Yes. I woke up early too. I should’ve bought something at the convenience store earlier.....”
“Want some of this?”
I pulled out a bag containing cheddar cheese and beef jerky.
It was the same beef jerky I had eaten when I first came to Canada.
“Oh. This.....”
“Have you had it before?”
“Yes! This is really good!”
‘.....This tastes good?’
I had only pulled it out to tease her, but Mina ate it much more enthusiastically than I had expected.
“Is that really good?”
“Huh? Didn’t you keep it because it was good?”
“No..... Yeah. Right.”
I hadn’t expected her to enjoy the beef jerky I had brought along to surprise her even while I was half-asleep.
“Oppa, aren’t you going to eat?”
“I’m not hungry.”
More precisely, I was afraid that if I ate now, I would fall asleep, so aside from coffee, I couldn’t put anything into
my stomach.
The car continued moving forward.
“But Oppa, are you writing well these days?”
“Hyerin told you about that too?”
“Yes. Hyerin bragged about you a lot. She said you make money from writing.”
“.....What’s so impressive about making money from writing?”
Being a writer was unusual, but it wasn’t particularly extraordinary.
Office workers received the same amount of money every month, but our income went up and down like a stock price.
Because of that, many people gave up, and even those who survived had to live with constant anxiety unless they were
among the top one percent.
The image of writers portrayed in the media seemed mysterious, but in reality, the job wasn’t anything special.
It was simply a pitiful profession where you constantly carried anxiety in your heart while creating stories.
“Oh, we’re starting to see it.”
The entrance to the village began appearing in the distance.
---
Meanwhile, after returning to Rodin House, Aron immediately began working.
‘As expected..... his writing ability is already fully developed.’
Just as he had seen on the blog, the author’s writing ability was already polished.
The natural ability to draw readers in almost hypnotically meant that this writer already knew exactly how to express
his thoughts.
‘Everyone has a writing style that suits them, and there are stories that suit that writing style.’
For a calm-flowing romance, one needed writing that suited a natural progression.
If serious atmospheres and flashy action scenes appeared frequently, one needed bold, compelling writing.
For fantasy that entertained the reader’s imagination, one needed dazzling and captivating prose.
Since every genre required a different writing style, finding the story that suited oneself was the first priority.
‘With writing like this..... slice-of-life, romance, comedy, and mystery would all suit him. But the author himself
should make that choice.’
In the end, a publishing company simply selected books and published them.
Whatever kind of story the author wanted to write with this writing style, there was no reason for them to stop him.
At most, they could make a recommendation out of regret.
‘As for proofreading and editing..... honestly, we probably only need to fix the typos.’
The manuscript was so polished that there was no need to tamper with much.
However, there were definitely things that could be improved from a storytelling perspective.
‘These boring parts at the beginning..... they could be shortened further.’
Some explanations felt excessive, and there were also parts that weren’t necessary for the progression of the story.
Usually, the editorial department handled these things, but Aron also tended to check the manuscript himself beforehand
and make notes.
‘Other than that, there’s really nothing..... Though if I had to point out one thing I regret, the story is a little too
predictable.’
It was true that the story was nearly perfect.
However, it was essentially an ordinary story with a small touch of something special added to it.
‘Being ordinary is practically the same as already being proven.’
A story that was always entertaining.
A story that had already been proven by people and had therefore become ordinary.
Such stories could not help but come close to perfection.
“There will definitely be further growth from here..... Hmm.”
Aron thought about the writer he had met, Kwon Shinyong.
Eyes worn down by life.
His face had become much brighter, but it was difficult to hide his emotions in his eyes.
‘Burnout was progressing..... No, he was already suffering because of burnout.’
It was hard to believe that someone in such a state had written this work, because the manuscript was so polished.
“Perhaps he returned..... to his original mindset.”
If the horizontal line represented the beginning, then there was a graph of work.
When people began working, they lived by moving up and down within that horizontal line called the beginning.
“After finding his own writing style..... he may have returned to his original mindset and written this.”
After resting enough that the graph no longer fluctuated violently, he began moving forward again along with that
horizontal line.
A graph that had already accumulated numerous experiences could start again under the name of returning to one’s
original mindset.
“How do you regain confidence? It’s nothing special..... You simply return to the time when you had confidence.”
Returning to one’s original mindset.
How many writers, or rather, how many people could actually do that?
“Original mindset, the beginning..... It’s easy to say. But can you really put down everything you have and return to
the beginning?”
A path that seemed to be only one when starting from the beginning could now be seen as several different paths.
Because he had already accumulated experience, returning to the beginning would allow him to see all those different
paths once again.
“There’s no reason for me to tell him that......”
In the end, this was simply a resolution.
A resolution that said if you could throw away everything you were carrying, you could rise into the air once again.
Of course, a resolution didn’t need evidence to support it.
“You don’t need a resolution just because you have evidence.”
If a resolution was created solely from someone else’s evaluation,
then it would eventually collapse just as quickly.
“I should contact the editorial department.”
Just how far would this writer grow?
Would he fall into the abyss?
Or would he rise upward?
Aron found himself deeply curious.