Bittersweet Farewells
Hey, kids. In the cafe inside the academy. Today, too, Emily was keeping close to Carlyle's side. In truth, Carlyle never asked to meet her first or reached out to her himself. But still. ...The one who likes loses. Emily began steeling her face with a thick mask. She started mustering her courage. She tried sticking by his side, attempting to strike up conversations. Starting with these little things, at least. She'd resolved to draw closer like this. She didn't want to waste the chance Bianca Shama had given her—the chance Vita had handed her. That was Emily Swan's utterly honest heart.
Fortunately, lately, her childhood friend Carlyle wasn't holing up alone on the academy annex rooftop like he used to. These days, he was always at the cafe, lost in thought over something. Honestly, at first, Emily had thought the rumors spreading through the academy were bothering her childhood friend. But it wasn't that, either. Carlyle was writing a letter. Emily knew why he was writing it. Whether he meant to or not, he kept putting up such iron walls. She couldn't help but laugh. Her pride stung a little. Soon, the weekend anniversary—the confession day. Carlyle seemed intent on confessing to someone that day. He'd mentioned it casually before, in passing.
—I'll settle it that day.
Emily Swan knew who that someone was. So at first, she'd thought Carlyle was being too much, doing this despite knowing her feelings. But that wasn't the reality. She was the one being stubborn. Carlyle had never once called for her. If anything, he'd shown faint signs of discomfort at times. She was the one forcing her way to his side. Using her position as his childhood friend, no less. But little by little, Emily had started to sense it. And so, as time passed, day by day. Watching Carlyle Schultz, who thought only of someone else even as she stuck by him these past few days.
There's... absolutely no place for me...
No opening for her to squeeze in. No gap at all. Bianca Shama's presence had already taken up so much space inside him that there was no room for her to wedge in. She'd come to realize that.
But Vita... Emily bit her lip. Bianca Shama herself—Vita, originally—was into Carlyle Schultz too, yet she was trying to let go of her feelings. Of course, Emily's own slip-up had played a big role in that process. She felt sorry. Truly sorry. But her liking for Carlyle overshadowed that guilt. It made her resort to these somewhat selfish, petty actions.
I know that, too... Emily knew it. That might be why her heart felt even more stifled.
She must have tried so hard to give up, to push him away. Bianca Shama. Vita Shama. But the childhood friend before her eyes showed no signs of letting go. He never said her name outright, but Emily could tell. Carlyle's mind was filled only with Bianca Shama. His downcast golden eyes held nothing but thoughts of her. The confession day coming that weekend. He was sketching out his plans for it. If she didn't speak up, the conversation would die. Carlyle probably didn't hate her. But that was it. She was just a friend. He tolerated her presence now only because he still saw her as one. Maybe he didn't even have the bandwidth to mind her.
...
So Emily trusted her gut. No matter how much Bianca Shama tried to leave, Carlyle wouldn't pull away from her. A woman's intuition kept telling her that. Now Emily realized it. Even if Bianca Shama vanished, she couldn't win. She would never claim Carlyle's heart.
"...Why go that far?"
It felt a bit unfair. Emily Swan asked.
"Bianca keeps pushing you away... Why keep at it?"
"...Because I want to try."
Carlyle answered.
"What if... she rejects you?"
"I'd have no regrets. Better than not trying at all."
"...You could regret it, you know?"
Emily Swan said.
"Even just confessing—you might regret that."
We might not even keep this relationship...
But Emily couldn't voice her cowardly inner thoughts. A sigh-like response came.
"If I don't tell her, nothing changes."
Even if rejected, that couldn't be helped. At least confessing might let him accept it, even if it didn't work out. Somehow, by force of will. That was Carlyle's philosophy. Nothing changes if you don't act. That's why he'd bolted from the orphanage, and why things were like this now. In the end, inaction left everything the same. Better to act and regret than not. Hearing that, Emily stood from her seat in confused turmoil.
"...I'll get going."
"Yeah, see you."
As expected, Carlyle didn't try to stop her. As she left the cafe, Emily bit her lip. She felt wretched. Her feelings twisted into longing. No hiding her pathetic heart, turning even more pathetic. He didn't spare her a glance, too fixated on Bianca Shama. She came to see it clearly.
Yeah, maybe... Emily's thoughts shifted. Whether he confessed or not, whether she did or didn't. Whichever path, regrets would linger. Yeah, then. Better to clash head-on and shatter properly. Only then might she let go of this unrequited heart. A foregone conclusion. One that wouldn't change even if Bianca Shama disappeared. Realizing that, a resolve began to form in Emily.
This weekend's confession day. Perfect excuse to see it through to the end.
"Finals already?"
"Ugh, nooo."
The classroom buzzed noisily. The mood was lively enough. It was Friday now. Plus, with the upcoming "confession day" event, the room was abuzz.
"Aw, too bad. Should've been a weekday."
"Then a few people would've hogged all the letters."
"Doesn't matter if we're at the academy or home anyway..."
Giggles rippled through. Vita glanced around the classroom, lost in thought for a moment. She couldn't help it.
Soon, really...
Once the weekend passed, she'd turn back into a guy. Put another way.
Today was her last day sitting here in this classroom, in this seat, as Bianca Shama.
Yeah, truly. Today was the last. Knowing that made her sentimental for no reason. Only on the final day did she have the leisure to look around. The lively classroom vibe, the crisp morning sunlight filtering in. Familiar scenery up to here. She'd attended this academy for nearly three years, after all. But Vita's gaze dropped to her uniform below. The navy ribbon, the white and pristine blouse. Even the slightly gray checkered skirt.
...Won't miss it, probably.
But she'd grown used to it. Somehow, she'd adapted. And her desk mate, Shasha Noah, sitting beside her. Gazing out the window, so their eyes didn't meet. But somehow, a relief. It let her sink a bit deeper into these sentiments. Her lively, sociable desk mate, her friendly pal. Thanks to Shasha, Vita felt she'd blended in well as Bianca Shama, adapted decently to this classroom.
Shasha helped a ton.
Truly grateful.
...
And suddenly their eyes met. Light brown ponytail, ruby-like eyes. The girl with a cute, squirrel-ish vibe—Shasha's eyes widened. Probably, lately. Staring at Shasha like this was rare for her, right?
"Ah... Bianca...?"
Shasha smiled awkwardly. Lately, Vita hadn't responded much even to her close desk mate. Maybe feeling the awkwardness. But Vita could see Shasha's eyes darting, searching for a topic.
"Oh, right! You studying these days? Finals coming up."
What had Shasha done wrong? Nothing. It was just after that day—the truth game aftermath—that things got awkward. Originally, back then. Vita had planned to apologize the next morning.
—Sorry about yesterday!
To Shasha and Emily. For bolting mid-truth game, a light apology. She figured Shasha must've been pretty thrown. But after that balcony talk with Emily. The next day, she was so out of it, so shocked. She missed the chance. With no real talk then, things ended up awkward with her desk mate. And her condition stayed off afterward too.
"...Bianca, you listening?"
But Shasha Noah, her bubbly desk mate, never got discouraged and kept talking to her every day. Vita felt guilty inside. Of course she did. But until now, she'd been too busy sorting her own jumbled feelings. Couldn't spare the attention. But really.
Last day now.
Confirming Carlyle Schultz's seat was empty. Vita smiled and replied.
"Yeah, Shasha."
She scratched her cheek awkwardly. Trying to chat after so long felt genuinely awkward.
"Of course I'm studying."
Though honestly, she hadn't studied at all lately. But Shasha's mouth fell open at the reply.
"Wha... wh-whoa...!"
A flustered look for some reason.
"Fi... finally...! You're finally replying!"
Shasha yelled it out, drawing everyone's eyes.
"No, Shasha..."
Vita panicked hard too. Glancing around frantically, the class was already in an uproar. Shasha's sudden shout had maximum impact!
"You okay now...? Yeah, right?"
In seconds, tears welled in Shasha's eyes.
"Ah, no... why cry all of a sudden..."
Vita panicked more. Before she knew it, classmates swarmed her.
"Bianca, you..."
"Feeling better now...?"
Cautious questions.
"Something personal must've happened, right...?"
"Hey, wait...!"
Comments like lacking tact, or not knowing the full story. Vita smiled ambiguously, letting out a faint groan. Well, from an outsider's view, it made sense they'd think something was up between her and Carlyle lately. They'd been so inseparable; later she tried holding back out of consideration, but the class probably had a rough idea.
Trouble with Carlyle.
Half right, half wrong. Anyway. Vita now realized she'd worried everyone like this. Definitely sorry. So she clasped her hands prayer-like, bowing in apology.
"Everyone, sorry...!"
Lighten the mood.
"I've been a mess lately, huh...?"
"Totally! So you knew, Bianca."
Shasha chimed in excitedly from the side. Guess her expression looked okay now.
"Better now, right?"
Vita nodded at her friends' questions.
"Yeah. All good now."
Her mood? What to say. A tiny bit lifted. Her classmates' reactions. Seemed she'd done alright as girl Bianca Shama. Grateful to them all, newly sentimental. After a moment's thought—maybe a bit impulsively—Vita spoke.
"...Everyone, take care."
A farewell. Her friends looked thrown.
"Huh...? Suddenly?"
"Going somewhere, Bianca?"
"Something wrong?"
Vita snapped back to reality.
...What am I doing?
What'd she just say? It bubbled up from her heart in the moment, but it'd sound weird.
"Ah, no."
Vita backpedaled.
"Heading home this weekend. Might be gone a few weekdays too... So like a temporary goodbye! That vibe...?"
"Pfft, what. Thought you were transferring..."
Finally, her friends burst into light laughter.
"Yeah, so. Family stuff got sorted nicely. Taking a short break."
"Family issues, huh..."
"Glad it worked out. Relieved for you, Bianca."
"Yeah, really."
Vita smiled back. Not leaving for good. She'd return to the academy. But not as Bianca Shama. This was the last.
...Everyone, goodbye.
Thus, as Bianca Shama. Vita was bidding farewell, in her own way, to this classroom she'd grown fond of, and her other friends.