The First Night (2)
"I should hope not."
It wasn't an empty sentiment.
Did I want Neir's love?
...Not yet, I didn't.
But I didn't want to live a life where I wasn't loved by my lifelong partner, either.
Not that it was something I could force.
Regardless, I hadn't forgotten from the very beginning.
This marriage wasn't for my own happiness.
It was a marriage for the future of the Red Flame Mercenary Corps.
It was absurd to think the mercenary corps would risk their lives just for my personal happiness in the first place.
I had simply been given a role.
To keep Neir Blackwood securely settled within the Red Flame Mercenary Corps.
After the war ended, having the Blackwood family as our backers was more important than anything else.
Of course, simply hunting monsters for them would build up a significant debt, but by keeping Neir—to put it bluntly, a hostage—the arrangement would be all the more solid.
So, even if my marriage with Neir didn't become a happy one or a relationship where we were each other's strength, it couldn't be helped.
That didn't mean I *wanted* that future.
Whoever the partner might be, I wanted a happy marriage over a sad one.
Besides, that was just a hypothetical.
In the end, she might come to like me. And I might fall for her just the same.
No one can say anything for certain about the future.
There are times when you end up separated from someone you loved like crazy, and times when someone you found annoying becomes a brother like no other.
I just had to do my part.
I looked at Neir, who was still stiff.
Fortunately, she seemed to have felt the sincerity in my words, as she was no longer on guard against me like before.
She felt like a stray cat.
Taking my time, I was slowly approaching her.
The fur on her tail, which had been standing straight up, had now settled down a little.
I picked up the cloth I had offered from her knees, where it had been resting.
Neir watched my actions slowly.
It was a funny thing.
Even though she was rejecting me this much, why didn't I feel hurt?
Perhaps it was because I held her in high regard.
She sacrificed herself for her family even while being hated by her own kin.
And even after making that sacrifice, she showed the integrity of not wanting to give her body to a stranger.
I felt like I was gradually getting to know the woman named Neir Blackwood.
I slowly raised the cloth toward her eyes.
For some reason, I had the urge to wipe away just a little of her tears.
Was it because we were now husband and wife?
Maybe I felt this impulse because of the things I’d heard until my ears grew calloused—things like, "Husbands and wives embrace each other," or "Husbands and wives comfort each other."
...But thinking that even this would be a burden to her right now, I ended up just handing the cloth directly to her hands.
Neir stared at the cloth I had placed in her hand for a long time.
I let out a long sigh.
That was the end of the conversation.
"...Let's rest, now."
With that, I slowly laid my body down on the bed.
It was twice as big as the bed I usually slept in.
"You were busy today."
Neir was still kneeling, looking at me without having wiped her tears.
I felt like she would keep being tense if I kept looking at her, so I closed my eyes.
Then, a thought suddenly occurred to me, and I conveyed it to her.
"...By the way, I'm saying this because people will definitely ask."
"..."
"I'm going to say that we consummated the marriage."
"..."
"...It'll be easier for you that way, too."
Neir paused, then nodded.
In reality, it would certainly be easier to just match our stories and lie than to actually go through with it.
I peeked through my eyelids to confirm her affirmation.
"And if possible, call me Berg starting tomorrow."
"..."
She stiffened at that, perhaps still feeling some resistance.
That was all I had to say.
"...Sleep well."
I gave my final greeting.
I didn't bother putting my top back on. I had already taken off the uncomfortable formal wear, leaving only comfortable clothes.
It was a good state for sleeping.
I exhaled deeply and gradually let the tension drain from my body.
As I tried to fall asleep, Neir got off the bed and began to take off her uncomfortable formal wear one by one.
Soon, left with only the comfortable undergarments like me, she stood there for a moment... then slowly climbed back onto the bed.
She put distance between us, placed a pillow between us, curled up, and went to sleep.
The long day ended just like that.
Neir closed her eyes and finished the day.
Contrary to her expectation that it would be the worst day of her life, nothing terrible had happened.
She was fine, and she was still pure.
She wondered how she could have been this lucky.
Even if she told others, they wouldn't believe her.
That she had married the vice-captain of a human mercenary corps and remained pure on her wedding night.
Even she couldn't believe it herself.
To be honest, even she couldn't deny that Berg was handsome.
So she had thought he would enjoy women to his heart's content, never imagining he would offer her such consideration.
Of course, you never know.
Perhaps he already had a mountain of partners to satisfy his desires, so he didn't need to release them on her.
She had heard he disliked women, but that was a separate matter from lust.
She wondered if her father's words might have been the truth.
Maybe they were just treading carefully around the Blackwood name and didn't dare treat her poorly.
...But even so, that didn't mean she wasn't grateful for this consideration.
Of course, this one act of consideration didn't mean she magically liked Berg.
Neir's heart was still full of her grandmother's words.
The words about how it would be truly difficult if she missed her fated partner.
The words her grandmother, who hadn't wanted to talk about it, had insisted on telling her.
Perhaps even this was a trial to get closer to her fated partner.
Remaining pure even now might be a revelation that she would one day meet her fated partner and fall in love.
The heavy burden in her heart had lightened significantly.
The pressure that had been crushing her to the point of agony had vanished in an instant thanks to Berg's proposal.
Neir opened her eyes slightly in the darkness and looked at Berg, who was sleeping beside her.
Until now, she hadn't been able to look at his face properly because she was terrified.
Even when she did, she would only look for a few seconds before turning away.
But now, she could look properly.
It was okay not to be scared. Berg was sleeping with his eyes closed.
Neir discovered a few facts while looking at his face.
He didn't look as scary as she had thought all this time.
It seemed she had been mistaken because of his sharp eyes.
The many scars probably added to that atmosphere.
And the anxiety in Neir's heart had likely painted him as even scarier.
But looking at his sleeping face now, he almost looked gentle.
He was a handsome man. Not that her heart was moved by something like that.
Neir was soon overcome by sleepiness.
Was it because the tension had been released?
It had been a truly long day.
She had suffered too much emotional turmoil.
She closed her eyes.
She wanted to sleep warmly under the blankets... but fearing she might wake Berg if she pulled them, Neir eventually just covered herself lightly with her tail and closed her eyes.
.
.
.
-Chirp, chirp.
Neir opened her eyes.
The world was already bright.
The sun was high in the sky; she didn't know how long she had slept.
It felt as if the side effects of not being able to sleep for a long time due to anxiety had all rushed in at once.
She woke up feeling refreshed, as if she had finally had a good rest after a long time.
At the same time, however, her heart sank slightly.
She wasn't yet accustomed to the fact that Berg would treat her kindly.
So, she slowly sat up.
-Slide.
The blanket slipped down, though she didn't know when she had covered herself with it.
"..."
...Did Berg cover her?
It was a question with no answer.
Neir looked around.
There was no one in the room.
Berg had already disappeared.
"Faster!"
The Red Flame Mercenary Corps was finishing their final training, kicking up clouds of dust.
Since training in tactics, individual swordsmanship, or horsemanship was no longer meaningful, they were pushing physical training to the extreme.
There were many cases where life and death were decided by the difference of whether one could run one more step or not.
The members were running the same course repeatedly in the training ground.
And I was watching them.
This was truly the last of it.
After this, the Red Flame Mercenary Corps would have to focus entirely on recovery.
They had to recover and start hunting the leader beasts.
While I was whipping the members like that, Adam walked up beside me.
Until now, he had only given me a sly smile and hadn't asked any troublesome questions.
So, what was coming was finally arriving.
"Berg—"
"—Later. We're in the middle of training."
Adam chuckled.
"How do you know what I'm going to ask? I was going to talk about the training."
"...Shawn! Don't fall behind!"
"V-Vice-captain! S-save me... *huff*...!"
"Run while you're saying that!"
Adam didn't say anything to my feigned ignorance. He just walked up to my side without a word and stopped.
He stared in the same direction I was looking.
"..."
And he just stayed there quietly.
"Ha... the weather is nice."
Just standing there blankly like this was his way of teasing me.
I was holding back a smile, finding my brother foolish and absurd again.
If I laughed, I lost.
-Thump.
When I didn't react until the end, he nudged me with his shoulder.
"..."
I didn't react.
"Hey."
"..."
"Hey, kid. Your brother is calling you."
"What."
"...What do you mean, what."
"..."
"...So?"
He finally asked.
I burst into a laugh. Adam laughed out loud, too.