Childhood (2)
That was how I started meeting Sien every three days. She was always waiting for me at our meeting spot before I even arrived. I never knew how long she had been standing there, but it was always her waiting for me.
I would eat the bread she brought from home and learn all sorts of things about her. Sien was two years younger than me, only nine years old. She wasn't a noble, but she grew up in a household just as wealthy. She told me both her parents were doctors. Since healers were quite rare among humans, I found that rather surprising.
As I had suggested, she brought plenty of food every time we met, though she confessed that all of it was smuggled out of her house in secret.
There were a few things about her that defied my expectations. Contrary to my assumption that she was bright and must have had many friends, she had actually grown up quite lonely.
"I'm the only one?"
"Yeah. You're my only friend, Berg."
She revealed this shyly during our third meeting. "I was sick so often that I never had the time to make friends."
"..."
"But when I saw you, I just felt this... whoosh! You know? I couldn't let that feeling go."
"What is 'whoosh' supposed to mean?"
"I don't know. But it just went whoosh."
She was beaming, simply because she had become friends with me. Perhaps that was why she hadn't realized that our relationship wasn't exactly normal. Friends don't usually mooch food off each other. They don't just sit there listening without reacting, like I did. It was a one-sided relationship where I only ever received, but Sien seemed satisfied with just that, always chattering away beside me.
She told me stories about seeing a small monster, or shaking hands with a brave wolf-kin in a neighboring city she visited with her parents. She talked about seeing a statue of a dragon-kin hero, stories about a Demon King who existed two hundred years ago, and how an elderly elf chieftain had ignored her. She even told me about watching a dwarf the same height as her crafting jewelry.
She had so many fascinating stories that I wondered why she even felt the need to meet me at all. It seemed that, being wealthy, she had traveled quite a lot. And every time I heard her stories, I felt the vast distance between our worlds in my very bones.
"If you were sick, how did you manage to travel so much?"
"I traveled because I was sick. I had to move around to get treated. But it's okay. I don't get sick as often these days."
"..."
"Don't you have any fun stories?"
To that question, I just shrugged. It wasn't that she was annoying; I just had nothing to tell her. The stories I could offer weren't as bright or interesting as hers. At best, I only had stories about fighting someone, getting hurt, or Flint and Max doing something stupid.
Our worlds were just too different. But Sien kept trying to blend into mine. Because of that, there were many things she had to endure just to be with me.
First, the place we met. Even if it wasn't the slums, we met in places where people didn't go often. That was entirely because of me. I didn't know how people would react if Sien were by my side, but even just stepping out of the slums, I was usually met with finger-pointing and avoidance. Since people from the slums were known for stealing so much, it was understandable in a way, but there were many who looked at me like I was a cockroach—with disgust and revulsion.
If I dragged Sien out into the light, I didn't know what kind of trouble we might face. We might get caught by the village adults, and I could get beaten on the spot for being a slum rat approaching an innocent girl. So, we met in places that were a bit dirty and dark, but Sien didn't seem to mind at all, as long as she could be with me.
"Is it good?"
She was even worried about whether the food I was eating was to my liking.
"..."
As time passed, every time I saw her kindness, my conscience—which I hadn't even known I possessed—would prick at me. I was using her. I was using her goodwill to fill my own stomach. She said I was her only friend, but I hadn't been thinking of her as a friend. Every time I saw her innocent smile, the food wouldn't go down my throat, even though it was softer and more delicious than anything else I had ever eaten.
It was only natural that I began to change. To respond to the pure sincerity she threw at me, I gradually started trying to think of her as a friend, too.
About two months into our unnatural relationship, when we had grown comfortable with each other and I had stopped taking her food, I began to teach Sien the pastimes of the slums. After all, friends are people who do fun things together.
"Alright. Watch this. Hk-pt...!"
"Be... Berg... isn't this a bit mean...?"
Sien said worriedly as I watched the many people passing through the alleyway from the window of a two-story building.
"..."
Seeing the expression on her face, which showed she wasn't having any fun at all, my own heart cooled. I spat on the floor without a word, then made her wait in that spot for a moment. Afterward, I fetched water in a small bowl and tried again.
"Alright. Watch again."
Instead of spit, I scooped up handfuls of water and sprinkled them down.
"Ooh, cold!"
The passersby were startled by the droplets hitting their necks and looked up, while Sien and I hid behind the window. It wasn't as fun or tense as spitting, but Sien held her breath, grabbed my hand tightly, and closed her eyes as if something momentous were about to happen.
"..."
Watching her, I realized that this was far more fun than spitting.
When I looked at Sien, laughter would leak out before I even realized it.
"It's okay now."
When I said that, Sien opened her eyes halfway and looked up at me. When we peeked out at the street again, it was full of people chuckling at the refreshing splash of water. Seeing that they weren't offended by my prank, Sien finally smiled brightly and said:
"This is fun, Berg...!"
Once I started treating her with sincerity, we became close at an unbelievable speed. Our presence became comfortable to each other, and it no longer felt like an unnatural relationship. Like Max or Flint, I began to feel that she, too, was another one of my friends.
We spent a year like that. And when she turned ten, she made a declaration.
"Berg! I don't think being just friends is enough."
"What?"
"I don't really know since I don't have other friends... but aren't we closer than other friends?"
I pondered that for a moment, wondering if that was true, and it did seem that way.
"So?"
When I asked why she was bringing this up, she blinked and avoided my gaze. She was picking at her fingers, hesitating. It was a habit she had whenever she was nervous.
"...Let's be best friends."
That was what she finally said after a long pause. I couldn't understand her hesitation, wondering what the difference was.
"What changes if we do?"
"It's different...!"
She let out a loud voice, as if she were frustrated for a moment. "If, if we become best friends, you have to prioritize me above everyone else! And the same goes for me...!"
As we grew closer, I started teasing her often. For some reason, her desperate appearance was funny, and I wanted to crack jokes.
"I have no intention of being best friends with a bed-wetter."
"What? Ber—"
"—And I'm the only one losing out. You don't have any other friends anyway."
"..."
But at that joke, Sien's expression darkened rapidly. She couldn't even refute it, just blinking her eyes and looking lost.
"Sien?"
"..."
She couldn't answer my call and just kept her lips trembling. Soon, she turned her body and started to leave. I hurriedly grabbed her and patted her on the back.
"Hey, Sien...! It's just a joke, why are you like this?"
Had I crossed the line? I sometimes forgot. She wasn't from the slums. I had to control the level of my jokes. Perhaps the fact that she had no other friends was her weakness.
To comfort her, I said, "You were sick, so how could you make frien—"
"—Do you have someone you're closer to than me?"
But the words that came out of her mouth were different from what I expected.
"What?"
"Do you... have a friend more precious than me?"
She furrowed her brow anxiously, as if what made her sad wasn't the comment about having no friends, but the fact that I had rejected her proposal to be best friends.
I looked down at her and let out a long sigh. That sigh released the tension that had been surrounding us. I smiled, wiped away the playfulness, and answered.
"Let's be best friends."
"If you're lying just to make me feel better—"
"It's not like that, Sien."
It was the truth. Seeing the world I hadn't been able to experience through her, I felt myself becoming brighter, too. At some point, I had started waiting for the days I would meet her. Max and Flint would be disappointed, but I had made my choice.
"Let's be best friends."
At those simple words, a huge smile spread across Sien's face, and tears welled up in her eyes. She hugged me tightly, overjoyed. Perhaps at the time, I had underestimated the power of the word "best friend." Contrary to my belief that there wouldn't be much change, the mere fact that we had become best friends brought us even closer.
The fact that we started meeting more frequently was proof of that. We, who used to meet every three days, started shortening the interval to two days, then one day, until eventually, we were meeting every single day. We ate together, washed together, and played many pranks together.
Max and Flint complained about my behavior, but I didn't listen. In my heart, there was only the thought that I had to prioritize my best friend. I only had thoughts of wanting to see Sien.
I couldn't help it. When I was with her, I could escape the gloomy atmosphere of the slums. Just seeing Sien's smiling face felt like all my worries were disappearing.
Another year passed like that. Two years since our relationship began. One year since we became best friends. In the year Sien turned eleven and I turned thirteen...
Sien's parents passed away in an accident. She, too, became an orphan like me.