[Childhood (1)]
"Did you succeed?"
I was eleven years old.
I was living my life by stealing.
To Max, who asked with sparkling eyes, I pulled up one corner of my mouth and showed him the coin purse.
"Yes! I knew you could do it, Berg."
Flint, my fellow companion, slapped my back hard, and we savored the moment together.
I flicked the coin purse in my hand, checking its weight.
A big catch.
With this, it seemed we wouldn't have to go hungry for quite a while.
When we checked inside the purse, the brightest smiles imaginable bloomed on our faces.
This was our everyday life.
For orphans like us living in the slums, this was the only way to survive.
I had heard there was an orphanage somewhere in the north of the city, but it had nothing to do with us.
"Berg. Look over there."
While we were laughing like that, Max suddenly wiped the smile off his face and pointed somewhere.
At the tip of his finger stood three figures.
Kids around our age.
They were guys who lived in the slums just like us.
They were also our rival gang.
The only difference was that, unlike us, they were Wolf-kin.
Those Wolf-kin were grinning as they stared at the coin purse in our hands.
"...Damn it."
Flint clicked his tongue quietly.
It never does any good for others to know you've obtained something.
Especially if those others are people from the same slums.
Just as we don't follow the law, you can assume the law doesn't protect us either.
If you get beaten to death somewhere, the perpetrator is never punished.
The slums were a place where strength was everything.
So, I tucked the coin purse into my clothes and said,
"Let's go."
That day, we hid the coin purse.
It was the same the next day.
There was no telling when they might pick a fight.
Perhaps they might even drag in the older kids who were bigger than us.
There was a way to spend the money all at once, but... the money was too precious for that.
Giving up money that could let us rest comfortably for a few weeks just because of fear of a fight wasn't the right choice.
Of course, fighting Wolf-kin was always a nuisance.
Their sharp claws and fast reflexes always put us in a difficult spot.
To begin with, there weren't many races that we, as humans, could beat with just our fists.
So, Flint, Max, and I agreed to take turns keeping watch on the rival gang.
It seemed we would have to live like this until we figured out their intentions.
At the very least, for a few days, we had to be properly vigilant.
Because they would move quickly if they wanted to get their hands on a full coin purse.
Time passed, and night fell.
It was my turn to keep watch.
I hid my body and stared at the entrance of the alleyway where they lived.
If they came out to attack, they would absolutely have to come through that path.
"...?"
While I was watching, an unexpected person appeared from an unexpected place.
A girl who looked two or three years younger than me was walking from far away, looking around.
A human, just like me.
An expression that looked terrified.
Neat clothes.
A clean face without a speck of dirt.
Flowing black hair.
A cute appearance.
I could tell at once that she wasn't from the slums.
It seemed like the daughter of some well-off family from the north of the city had gotten lost and wandered into these slums.
"Mom...? Dad...?"
A girl who was the complete opposite of me.
Confused, she looked around here and there.
I watched her, terrified, in silence for a long time.
"..."
"U...um, Mom...? Are you there...?"
The wandering girl looked around here and there, and then stopped in front of the alleyway where the rival gang's hideout was.
She swallowed slowly and began to take steps into the alleyway.
"Are you stupid?"
In an instant, I couldn't hold back and spoke to her.
"Eek!"
She was startled, placed a hand over her chest, and looked at me.
I said to her,
"It looks dangerous just by looking at it. Why are you going in there?"
It was obvious that if a frail girl went into a dark alleyway, the result would be horrific.
On a late night like this, people wouldn't know even if some crime occurred. Where you came from wouldn't matter anymore.
The slums were a place where it was natural for the night to be more dangerous than the morning.
"You're lost, aren't you?"
I asked.
Part of it was that I couldn't stand seeing the rival gang doing well, but... honestly, I was also drawn to her.
She was so pretty that she couldn't be compared to the girls in the slums, so I just wanted to help her once.
Maybe I felt a sense of belonging because we were both human.
But she swallowed her fear when she saw me.
I felt hurt for no reason, seeing her react like that to my goodwill.
"...Forget it, do what you want-"
The moment I felt drained and tried to turn around, three Wolf-kin walked out of the alley with their yellow eyes flashing.
"What's this? Who's this girl?"
Seeing the three people swarming out of the alley, the girl was even more terrified, backed away, and ended up falling on her bottom.
"...Oh."
One of the gang members looked the fallen girl up and down.
"Her clothes look expensive, don't they?"
I sensed that things had become troublesome and squeezed my eyes shut.
"Ha."
They noticed my presence at the sound of my sigh.
"Isn't that Berg?"
"Were you watching us?"
The leader-like figure grinned. His sharp fangs stood out.
Then, he shifted his gaze to the girl who was fallen and trembling.
"Do you know her?"
"As if I would."
"...Fair enough."
The girl looked back and forth between me and the gang.
It seemed she instinctively felt that the gang was more dangerous.
She blinked her anxious eyes while looking at me.
"Wow... she's really pretty. I think we could make money just by taking her clothes off and selling them, right?"
"Ugh...!"
The girl clutched her clothes tightly and closed her eyes.
The gang enjoyed that reaction and said to me,
"Hey, Berg."
"...What."
"We won't take your coin purse, so leave this human girl to us and get lost."
"What?"
"What do you mean, 'what'? You knew, didn't you? That we were after your coins."
"..."
The leader-like guy laughed and said to his gang,
"A few days ago, that lady Meichel said she'd pay a lot if we brought her a decent girl."
"What, that whore lady?"
"Yeah. We should just take her and sell her."
"She looks like she's from a well-off family, won't there be trouble if we do that?"
"If she gets sold there, even a noble's daughter won't be found."
"Ah.... ah..."
I don't know if the girl even understood the words 'sell her to that whore lady.' She looked so innocent.
But she must have understood the part about 'selling,' because tears began to stream down her eyes.
Seeing that, I couldn't just walk away.
It wasn't because I was a particularly good person.
I just didn't want to become the same kind of person as the rival gang.
"What's wrong, Berg? You still haven't left-"
-Thwack!
I kicked one of the three and knocked him over.
"Argh!"
As I did, I thought:
...I'm going to get hurt badly now.
I hope they just beat me up a little and let me go. Or that Max or Flint would show up.
The leader-like figure looked at me with a flushed face.
"...Hey. We said we wouldn't take your coin purse."
"You couldn't take it anyway."
I bluffed.
At those words, the rival gang rushed at me.
I had to fight them, trading blows for something that gave me no benefit at all.
"Ptooey."
Blood-mixed spit flew out of my mouth.
The rival gang had all finished beating me up thoroughly and left.
I was scratched, torn, and bitten everywhere.
Still, because I resisted until the end, they gave up on the girl and left.
Should I say that's fortunate? At least I achieved one goal.
"Hey. Get up."
I said to the girl who was crouching with her head in her hands.
The girl was sniffling and kept shedding tears.
I watched her, scratched my head vigorously, then crouched down as well and placed a hand on her shoulder.
"I said get up. I'll find your parents for you."
At those words, the girl lifted her head.
A cute face, even when looking at it again.
But she saw my ruined face and shed even more tears.
She kept repeating 'I'm sorry' and 'Thank you.'
Where did the look of fear she had earlier go, and why is she like this now?
But it didn't feel bad.
Still, we couldn't stay like this forever.
I grabbed her arm and stood up.
"Stop crying and get up. You have to go back, don't you?"
But the girl shook her head from side to side.
"My legs... I have no strength..."
"You're a handful. Seriously."
I said that, but the desire to help her kept rising.
I offered her my back and said,
"Get on."
"...Hic..."
"Hurry. Before those guys come back."
At those words, the girl swallowed her breath, crawled over, and climbed onto my back.
She wrapped her arms tightly around my neck.
A scent like flowers in a field drifted from her.
The more it did, the more ashamed I felt of the stench coming from my own body.
This was the first time I had felt shame over something so natural.
But she didn't seem to mind my stench, and she clung tightly to my back, burying her face in my shoulder.
Strength surged through my body at her strong embrace.
I began to walk through the familiar slums.
As I walked for a while like that, she calmed her crying and asked me,
"...Does it hurt?"
"It hurts."
"...Hic..."
She shed tears again at the words that it hurt.
A snort escaped me at her innocence.
It wasn't because it was funny. I was just surprised that someone this pure existed.
"Why... why are you laughing?"
I didn't answer her question.
Instead, I asked,
"How did you end up wandering all the way here?"
"Huh?"
"Didn't you feel it while walking? If you saw the road getting dirtier and dirtier, you should have turned back."
Rolling liquor bottles. Animal carcasses. Flies and bugs.
The girl didn't answer.
"......."
"Forget it. What would you know."
To begin with, if you're scared, you don't even know what you're doing yourself. It seemed she was in that kind of situation too.
I walked for a long time like that again.
'Awooooo....'
Somewhere, a Wolf-kin let out a howl.
It was a pretty chilling sound to hear in the dead of night.
Then, at that moment, I felt a strange coolness through my back.
It was damp, too...
"Hey! Did you pee?"
When I asked in surprise, the girl, who had been quietly observing the alley, flinched and buried her face in my shoulder again.
"N...no...?"
She answered in a trembling voice. I could feel that she was really bad at lying.
I let go of her legs, which I had been holding, to put her down for a moment.
But the girl hugged me tightly and clung to me.
"N...no.... do...don't throw me awayyy..."
And then she shed tears again.
Whatever she misunderstood, she clung to me desperately.
I hate girls who cry.
As much as that, she should be a nuisance... so why am I only letting out a dry laugh?
I don't feel the feeling of dislike, strangely enough.
Thinking that I could just wash it off, I sighed and carried her firmly again.
The damp sensation soon became familiar.
As I walked like that, she gradually revealed her curiosity toward me.
She lifted her head again, sniffing beside my face, and kept glancing at my profile.
By the time we were almost out of the slums, she began to ask,
"You... what's your name?"
"'You'? You look younger than me, just by looking at you."
"N...now you say that? And y...you spoke informally first...."
"If you don't like it, I'll drop you here."
"Ah...! Ah...! N...no. No... I don't."
I was amazed at how easily she was swayed, so I stopped and turned my head toward her.
The sniffling girl made eye contact with me right beside me.
Her wet eyes were sparkling more than anything.
...Really, kids from well-off families are this pretty.
"Are you a noble?"
So I asked first.
But she was surprised and shook her head.
"No? Oh, no I'm not?"
She was flustered, but it didn't seem like a lie.
I continued to move my steps.
I thought our conversation would end there, but she asked persistently,
"So... um... what is your name?"
"Forget it, just speak informally. It feels weird hearing it now."
"...Then what is your name?"
"..."
She was really persistent.
She was showing tears now, but it felt like she would be endlessly bright in the light.
"You heard it earlier."
When I answered bluntly, she expressed doubt.
"When?"
"When I was talking to those three."
Then she revealed cautiously,
"...I was scared, so I couldn't hear it properly."
I felt an unnecessary awkwardness in saying my name.
Anyway, this would be the last time I'd see her, so should I really answer?
It felt like the lingering attachment to her would last for a long time even as it was.
There was no need to create more lingering attachments.
"Forget it. Anyway, once you go back, we aren't going to be meeting each other."
"....Huh?"
"Why are you surprised? Are you going to come back into the slums?"
"....."
I felt the strength leaving her arms.
She was truly the first person I'd met who was this easy to read.
"Still... still, tell me."
She was persistent, as expected.
I had no choice but to answer.
It wasn't exactly a secret.
"...Berg."
I wandered all over the city with the girl hanging on me.
There was no other way until a street familiar to her eyes appeared.
"...Ah!"
And after a long time, the girl hanging on my back burst into an exclamation as she began to see the road she was waiting for.
At that sound, I put her down.
She didn't cling persistently like before, asking me not to throw her away.
"You can find your way home now, right?"
"..."
The girl, who had come down obediently, didn't answer for some reason.
Since she didn't give a definite answer, it became awkward for me to leave.
"Tell me quickly. I have to go back now."
"Oh... um..."
She fidgeted with her fingers and glanced at me.
Then, whispering 'That's it..!', she proposed to me,
"I... I'm hurt, so why don't you come to my house and get treated?"
"Where is your house?"
"It's just a short walk from here."
At her words, I turned my body.
Since she could find her house, my job was done.
"Wh...where are you going...!"
But the girl didn't let me go.
She grabbed my wrist as I turned away and said,
"Th...then, so... um... I... I have dolls at home, so shall we play with those together?"
"...What are you talking about?"
When I pointed out that she was saying something out of the blue, she picked at her fingernails and said,
"But... I don't want to part with you..."
She, who was on the verge of tears, confessed her feelings.
"Can't we be friends...? We're the same race..."
"...Does being the same race make us friends?"
"..."
Can you be like this because you grew up properly?
Can you be like this because your personality is bright?
I was surprised by her, who asked to be friends so simply.
To me, who lived in the slums, a friend was limited to someone who could give me great trust.
Because if you trust just anyone, you get hurt badly.
But perhaps, this girl's standards might be different from mine.
Unlike me now, she might be proposing it with a light heart.
Perhaps this is normal.
"..."
She kept fidgeting with a tearful face.
But it was really hard to abandon old habits.
I was still only thinking of ways to calculate and use her.
I watched her like that for a long time.
The girl, perhaps resigned to my silence, turned away with an expression that looked like she was about to burst into tears.
Without even facing me, she said,
"...Okay, then. Thank you... Goodbye."
"What's your name?"
I ignored her words and asked.
At that question, the girl immediately turned back to me with rabbit eyes.
And then she answered, stuttering,
"S, S... Sien."
"Sisien?"
"Sien...! Just Sien."
I scratched my head and proposed to her lightly,
"Then, come here in three days with some food. If you do that... it's not like we can't meet."
Perhaps I might be able to procure food through her.
If she doesn't like this rude proposal, we can just go our separate ways.
But even at that rude proposal, Sien became brighter than ever, showed a huge smile, and said,
"Yes!"
That was how our relationship began.