The Vow Under the Moon
Neir and I sat at the head table of the banquet, watching the humans and the wolf-kin eat, drink, and make merry. Laughter and blessings poured toward us in a constant stream. We responded to all those shouts without much reaction. It felt strange to be married. It hadn't really hit me yet—that Neir Blackwood, sitting right beside me, was the partner who would spend the rest of her life with me. That she was someone I had to treat with more care than anyone else.
...It’s so awkward right now, but will we get closer later?
I couldn't be sure of that, either. Neir sat with her tail tucked beneath her, her hands resting on her thighs. Even in her own chair, this beautiful wolf-kin woman remained hunched over.
"..."
I looked at her, my mind filled with a thousand thoughts. Since the wedding, Neir and I hadn't exchanged a single word. We were simply maintaining a heavy silence. My lack of conversational skills played a part, of course, but Neir Blackwood seemed genuinely terrified. I didn't feel the need to force myself to bridge that gap. We had decades of time ahead of us. Still, I knew that some kind of response would be necessary before long.
Soon, the banquet—short if you considered it brief, long if you considered it tedious—came to an end. Since we couldn't host a massive feast, the food ran out quickly. Because a battle against monsters was scheduled for the near future, many of the guests were already showing restraint with their drinking. Gibson seemed to be thinking the same thing, as he approached us.
"Berg, Neir."
Neir flinched at Gibson’s call. Being this close to her, every minor movement and gesture became impossible to miss. Gibson spoke to us.
"...Let us proceed with the Soul Binding."
We were reaching the final stage before the wedding night.
A crowd guided us to a small forest within the Blackwood territory. Gibson, Neir’s brothers, the wolf-kin soldiers, Adam, Baran, and the soldiers of the Leader Beast squad surrounded us as an escort. I walked one step ahead of Neir, and she followed slowly behind me. When I glanced back, her tail caught my eye. I didn't know exactly what every movement of her tail meant, but I remembered hearing that when it drooped, it meant she was depressed.
"..."
She seemed depressed right now.
"We are here."
Gidin guided us to the entrance of the forest. The tension I’d had with him yesterday had been smoothed over by today’s wedding. Since I had accepted his warning from the start, there was no reason to fight anymore. The entrance to the forest Gidin led us to was pitch black, the night having deepened.
Baran naturally handed me my sword. I strapped it to my waist, finishing my preparations.
"You never know what might appear in the forest or what problems might arise. But you two must resolve the situation through conversation, kneel before the tree you choose together, and look at the moon to renew your vows."
Gibson slowly explained the wolf-kin’s Soul Binding to us once more. While listening to him, I kept checking on Neir. Perhaps it was because she was my wife, but my attention kept drifting to her mood.
"...If there is anything you are unsure of, Neir will explain it well."
With that, Gibson’s explanation ended. I nodded and turned to Neir.
"..."
I held out my hand to her and said, "...Let’s go."
Neir looked back and forth between my hand and my face before slowly reaching out. She barely grasped the tips of my fingers. But that was enough. I started walking toward the forest, and she followed.
. . .
We moved deeper, one step at a time. The sun, which had already begun to set, vanished quickly, leaving no trace. The moon took its place. Soon, the surroundings grew so dark that nothing was visible.
-Thud.
"...Oh."
My foot caught on something, and I lost my balance for a moment. I let go of Neir Blackwood’s hand.
"Are you okay..."
When I turned back to look at her, yellow eyes were glowing in the darkness. The beauty of her pupils was highlighted by the light. I had momentarily forgotten that wolf-kin were not greatly affected by the dark. It was that very trait that had made fighting wolf-kin in the slums so difficult.
"...I am fine."
It was the first time I had spoken to her naturally. Neir nodded quietly. I looked around the invisible surroundings and sat down in place for a moment. Neir remained where she was, not coming any closer after I had let go of her hand. How was I supposed to resolve this situation? I knew she wasn't particularly keen on this marriage.
"...Come here."
I spoke to her to try and start a conversation. But from far away, Neir shook her head.
"..."
Was it because of the darkness? Was it because we were deep in the forest? Or was it because there was no one else around? She was more afraid of me than at any other moment before. Personally, I didn't quite understand it. I hadn't done anything. ...But then again, I knew that the flaws of humans, which other races focused on, were well-known. Maybe she was acting like this because she didn't know me well. Maybe she held prejudices simply because I was a mercenary. After all, it was more ridiculous for a noble to be joined with a commoner from the slums like me and accept it immediately.
"..."
I let out a quiet sigh. Depending on who was watching, this Soul Binding culture could be intimate, or it could be as awkward as it was for us. I pondered for a moment before speaking.
"...Miss Blackwood."
Neir watched me for a long time before slowly nodding. I could tell by watching her yellow eyes move up and down.
"...I would like you to find the tree where we will kneel together. To be honest, being human, I can't see very well in this darkness."
Neir blinked and began to walk somewhere. I struggled not to trip in the dark, following behind her. Soon, she stopped. She hadn't even traveled far to find a tree. She seemed to have just stopped in front of one of the larger trees visible nearby.
"...Will this do?"
"...Yes."
I approached the tree Neir had guided me to and touched it. It was a zelkova tree. It wasn't particularly large, nor did it look particularly healthy.
"...What does a zelkova tree symbolize?" I asked Neir.
Neir was silent for a long time before whispering quietly, "...Fated love."
"..."
I nodded and looked at the tree again. Fate. Did she think our marriage was just one of those fates we had to accept? I tapped the tree. I didn't know wolf-kin culture, but I wondered if this was right. It was a ritual called Soul Binding, after all—was it really okay to pick a tree so carelessly? If she wanted a zelkova tree, wouldn't it have been better to pick one that was sturdier and straighter?
"..."
But I didn't dwell on that for long. Rituals didn't really matter in the end. It wasn't as if a god was watching. What would be more important in our future married life was understanding and being considerate of each other. In that sense, I didn't object to the tree Neir had chosen. If her emotions were so complex that they were manifesting in this way, then this, too, was something I had to accept.
"...Let’s begin."
I knelt before the tree Neir had chosen. Neir knelt as well, a step to my right. We were told we had to swear to the moon with the tree as our witness, and fortunately, the moon was visible. It was shining so brightly that there was no chance of mistaking it. The next step was... we had to tie our tails together. Naturally, I didn't have one.
"The tail is..."
"..."
As I started to ask Neir, something touched my calf. When I looked back, Neir’s tail, shimmering silver under the moonlight, was resting on my leg. It seemed that being in contact in any way was the most important thing.
"...What’s next?"
"...You have to look at the moon and swear your future vows. In your heart."
A beautiful, melodic voice. The longer she spoke, the easier it was to understand that fact. I nodded. Since it was a ritual, I followed her lead. As she did, I clasped my hands together and closed my eyes. Then, I repeated my resolve for the future and swore my oath.
Neir thought it fortunate that she could smooth over the situation with a lie. During this Soul Binding ritual, there were words that had to be exchanged. One had to confess their love and swear loyalty to the other. But because the human mercenary Berg didn't know the wolf-kin culture, she was able to skip all those procedures. Since he skipped them, one couldn't really say our souls were bound.
Neir was feeling complex emotions. She was still afraid of Berg, but he hadn't done a single thing that would warrant such fear. She hadn't seen him be cruel, strict, or condescending toward women yet. He even spoke to her with polite, formal language. Of course, the situation where he could run wild hadn't arisen yet, to begin with. If he were to reveal his true colors as soon as they became husband and wife, treating her as a plaything—that would surely bring a massive rift between the Red Flame Mercenary Corps and the Blackwoods.
They said you discover sides of people even in long-term relationships that you never knew. She didn't know how well he was hiding his true self. So, she wasn't foolish enough to let her guard down just yet. ...There was still one hurdle left. Once this Soul Binding ritual ended, the wedding night awaited. The moment would come when she had to offer her purity to him. Perhaps Berg was so calm because he already knew that fact.
"...."
-Squeeze...
Whenever Neir thought about the wedding night, tears welled up in her eyes. She didn't know how much she would scream, or how much she would cry. She was also afraid of seeing the side of Berg he had been hiding. She hated the idea of giving herself to a strange man like this, not her fated partner. Even so, there was a glimmer of hope. When they had to share a kiss, she had seen Berg’s hesitation. He had pretended to kiss everyone but had only touched his nose to theirs. She didn't know if that was a form of affection in human culture, but for Neir, it was much easier to endure than a kiss.
But what if he was just humoring her, pretending otherwise? If there was no such thing as nose-touching as a sign of affection, and even that was just him being considerate of her... then there was a chance she could somehow get through the wedding night. Neir had to pour all her hope into that possibility. She opened her eyes for a moment and glanced to the side. Berg was sitting with his hands clasped and his eyes closed, his expression stiff as he made his vow. Neir didn't trust that serious demeanor. She had already heard things. Besides, she wasn't going to live with this man forever.
Neir turned her eyes back to the sky. She saw her friend, the bright moon. She pondered for a moment what she could swear to, or what she could hope for. It didn't take long. Neir prayed for what she wanted most right now.
'I hope I can return here again.'
. . .
When the ritual ended, Berg stood up. Neir rose to follow him. Her mind was entirely occupied by the next step. The wedding night. A heavy, suffocating feeling weighed her down. The ring on her left ring finger felt uncomfortable.
"...Let’s go back."
But it wasn't something she could put off. Neir said that and turned around.
"Wait."
And at that moment, Berg drew his sword. Neir was startled and flopped down to the ground in place.
"...Are you alright?"
Berg looked at her with a puzzled expression. Neir looked back and forth between the sword and Berg. The sight of a large, terrifying human mercenary holding a sword was nothing short of frightening.
"...Ah."
Berg seemed to understand her reaction and slowly closed his mouth. Then, without any explanation, he walked toward the tree where he had just offered his prayer.
-Slash! Slash!
He swung his sword, leaving a mark on the tree. Afterward, Berg sheathed his sword without a second thought.
"...So I know which tree we knelt in front of."
It was a reason Neir hadn't even considered. She looked at the tree Berg had marked. A large scar remained, one that would be difficult to heal. Did Berg want to commemorate this, even though he could have just done it carelessly and moved on? Neir looked at Berg again.
"...Let’s go. Get up."
He said. Neir nodded with difficulty. The time had come.