Puppy and Master Play (3)
Suyeon was crouched in a dim corner of the room, curled into herself as small as she could get.
The glow of the digital clock blinking in front of her reached her ears like the steady tick of a metronome.
Outside the window, the sound of cars passing by swam before her eyes the way fish drift lazily through a tank.
"……"
She squeezed her eyes shut and clamped both hands over her ears. The moment she went still, the agonizing memories began to force their way into her head uninvited.
"Suyeon, I really love it here. You do too, right? Quiet and dark."
"A normal person would be too scared to come somewhere like this. Maybe that's because we're not normal people? Ufufu."
"Suyeon, this tree is incredible. Should we carve our names into it?"
"When I listen to your songs, Suyeon, my heart goes calm and restless at the same time. Because I never know when this happiness might leave."
"Suyeon… did you love me…?"
"Ah… aah… ah…"
Suyeon clutched her head and suffered through it for a long while before she finally turned, slowly, to look at the drawer beneath the vanity.
"…Ugh… augh…"
Of course the drawer held the pills she treasured. Medicine bought from an illegal overseas site.
Oddly enough, she had not been the one to purchase them.
Back when her ex-lover Byeol was still alive, Byeol had decided that nothing available on the Korean market could treat Suyeon's peculiar condition, and had ordered the drugs from abroad herself.
It was illegal, of course—but Byeol would have given anything for Suyeon. Even her own medical license. That was how deeply she cared for her.
"Hoo… hoo… haah…"
With trembling hands, Suyeon slowly pulled the drawer open.
Inside, the pills still waited for her in a mountain-like heap.
After Byeol died, Suyeon had spent a stretch of time like a dead woman herself—sitting in that dark house without eating or drinking a thing.
Then, by chance, she had found a scrap of paper Byeol had left in the vanity drawer before she died.
If it gets hard, take these. I bought them for you.
It was the only will Byeol had left behind—the woman who had taken her own life without writing a single farewell.
Those mysterious pills Byeol had stockpiled by the mountain did, in fact, ease Suyeon's symptoms a little.
But they were fiercely addictive, and her tolerance climbed steadily.
At first one pill a day had been enough. Then two, then three… until now she needed a full fifteen just to quiet the pounding in her chest.
Suyeon knew it herself. She knew this was dangerous.
She could not spend the rest of her life chained to drugs of unknown origin, with side effects no one could predict.
But what choice did she have? No matter how hard she tried to hold out, the moment twenty-four hours passed after her last dose, the auditory hallucinations arrived on schedule, sharp as a blade.
"So did you love me? Did you love me? Did you love me? Did you love me?"
For someone with a memory as mercilessly sharp as Suyeon's, hearing those voices from the past was nearly torture.
Byeol's voice drifted before her eyes like a ghost and struck at her again and again.
"Ugh… hhk… sniff, sniff…"
Tears streaming down her face, Suyeon scooped up a miserable handful of pills from the drawer. She had no idea how many were in her palm. She simply no longer cared what happened.
Right then—
Clack! …..
"H-hiiik…!"
The front door rattled, and Suyeon spun around with her eyes blown wide.
"…Wh-who…"
Clack-clack-clack!
The door shook violently back and forth. Suyeon's face went deathly pale; she trembled from head to toe.
Then, all at once, something occurred to her, and she murmured under her breath.
"……Byeol…? Is that you, Byeol…?"
The rattling quieted. A moment later came the soft beeps of the door-lock keypad.
Suyeon's already porcelain face turned corpse-white.
Terror had her so completely she could not even scream. She was so frightened she nearly wet herself.
And the next instant, when the front door burst open, Suyeon dropped flat to the floor at once, wringing both hands and babbling.
"I… I don't want this… I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I-I was wrong… please forgive meee… sniff, sniff…"
But right after that—
"…Suyeon-noona."
The voice that reached her—no, the voice floating right in front of her—was not Byeol's distinctive high pitch.
It was the opposite: a low, settled tone that calmed the heart just by existing.
A voice that could never have come from a woman's throat. Suyeon slowly lifted her ruined face and looked at the person who had come into her home.
"…Ji… Jihoon…?"
I didn't dare approach her right away, afraid of setting off a worse episode, and called to her first in a low voice from a distance.
Fortunately she seemed to recognize me; the shaking slowly subsided.
The state of the apartment was far worse than usual, and Suyeon was wearing a patient gown that had been torn half to shreds. I was more than a little startled, but I kept it off my face, offered a quiet smile, and moved closer with care.
"…Sniff, sniff… you… how did you…"
"…Noona, sorry. Arin gave me the door code, so I let myself in. Do you have a minute?"
I came right up to her and wrapped her in a warm embrace. The seizure-like spasms running through her body gradually eased against me.
Suyeon closed her eyes and rested in my arms, slowly evening out her breathing. She looked almost asleep.
When she opened her eyes again, the first thing she did was shove the vanity drawer shut with a bang.
I stared at the closed drawer for a moment, then asked,
"Is that where you keep the medicine you take?"
"…Yeah."
She wiped the tear tracks from her face and somehow smoothed her wrecked hair as she answered.
I'd caught a glimpse before she closed it—pills piled up like an actual mountain.
…This is insane. Where the hell did she even get that stuff… I've got to throw all of it out later.
I looked at her and, trying to lighten the air a little, offered a small joke.
"Kind of a shame. You're not wearing that puffer jacket you always have on at home."
"…Want me to put it on?"
She answered in a drained voice. I smiled, shook my head, and said,
"It's fine. Just lie down for a bit. Mm… right—you haven't eaten again, have you?"
"Yeah…"
"Want me to make you some ramen? I'm ridiculously good at ramen."
Suyeon stared at me for a long moment, then finally gave a small nod.
"…Thanks…"
"What are you thanking me for. You cook for me all the time. Come on—lie down and wait here."
With that I stood up and headed for the kitchen.
In the disaster of a kitchen I managed to dig out a pot, fill it with water, tear open a packet of ramen from the cupboard, dump in the seasoning, and bring it to a rolling boil.
Then I pulled an egg from the fridge, cracked it in, sliced some green onion fine, and dropped the noodles—and just like that, a decent bowl of ramen was done.
I carried the pot over, set it on the low table, and called to her gently.
"Noona, it's ready. Come eat."
"……Okay."
Suyeon shuffled over and dropped heavily in front of the table. She stared blankly at the ramen for a second, then murmured,
"Looks good…"
Then she picked up the chopsticks and began to nibble at it in small, careful bites.
I watched her for a while before I slowly opened my mouth.
"…Suyeon-noona. Can I ask you something?"
She nodded with the noodles still in her mouth, answering cutely,
"Mm-hmm…"
"Does a ghost keep following you around?"
Suyeon stopped eating and slowly turned her head to look at me.
I held a serious expression and stared straight at her without a word. At last she gave a slow nod.
"…Yeah…"
I leaned in close, the way you do when you're sharing a secret, and whispered,
"…Noona. Truth is… I've got a ghost like that too."
"…You do?"
She looked at me with unfocused, hollow eyes. I nodded, scratched my head, and spoke with a sigh mixed into my voice.
"…Haa… I never thought I'd end up telling this story out loud again. I'm only saying it because it's you, all right?"
Suyeon gave a light nod.
Even in that wrecked state, her face under the blue streetlight glow was still cold and beautiful, like some elven noble.
I drew a deep breath, let it out, and spoke at the same time.
"…I've had a childhood friend since I was little. A girl. Her name was Yumin. Jeong Yumin."
I paused for a beat, then went on.
"She died at seventeen. On my birthday, no less."