For This Alone
I felt an inexplicable revulsion rise from my stomach to the back of my throat the moment I first laid eyes on that crimson scene. Humans. Why were human corpses strewn about the Demon King’s chambers in pieces? Why were surgical tools I had never seen before clutched in the Demon King’s hands? Why had she drawn up all manner of magic circles she never used, and why was she poring over spellbooks from fields she had never studied? I could not understand. Why ask me to help with something like this? I knew nothing of magic, and as for humans… I no longer wished to meet any humans at all.
“Why are you just standing there? Do you not possess sufficient knowledge?”
Yet when the Demon King looked at me and spoke, setting the book she held down on the floor as though discarding it, I asked carefully, “Why… are you doing this?”
“Do not ask.”
She furrowed her brow and turned her face away. In the end, I could not open my mouth again. Why was she doing this? Why was she performing such acts upon a human body? And why in secret, hidden from everyone? Everything was shrouded in mystery. Still…
I approached her side in silence and began, little by little, to assist the Demon King. After all, I was Jemma, her attendant. I was her closest subordinate. No matter what the Demon King did, I had to follow and respect her. That was the duty of Jemma the attendant, the one and only path toward becoming an ideal servant. That way, Gematria would be pleased. Therefore, even if I could not yet grasp the Demon King’s purpose, I would bring her the tools she needed, clear away the parts of the room that had grown unnecessarily filthy, and clean so the scent of blood would not linger too heavily. This much, at least, would please Gematria.
Swish——
“…Leave it there.”
But the more I helped her, the more I realized she was trying to ensure the human could live again, could obtain a new body. Why? Why was she trying to save a human, especially one she herself had tried to kill? What could possibly drive her to do so? My doubts only multiplied. The one who had so despised and hated humans, the one who had harbored endless malice toward those who had taken Hayes away—why, all of a sudden? Even if the war with the human heroes had ended, why try to save one of their champions? The contradiction was so stark that, even as I helped, I began to wonder if this was right, if I should stop her now. What was the Demon King hoping for? What was she trying to accomplish? I looked at her, wrestling with the question dozens of times.
“…I know you doubt me.”
When I continued to stare at her with eyes full of suspicion, the Demon King spoke in a slightly softened voice while continuing to operate on the human’s new body. I listened quietly.
“But I must do this… I wanted to.”
For the first time, her tone lacked its usual authority. For the first time, I heard the Demon King speak like this.
“I know you find me displeasing… but I could not help it.”
While pouring her own magic into the heart and mana stone that were gradually losing color as they floated in the air, the Demon King continued.
“I truly feel sorry for Kibotos, but… the Clairvoyance I obtained that day began to show me so many things…”
Why she had brought this human. “I read all of this human’s memories.” Why she could not help but be moved by those memories. “And the moment I saw them, I remembered that I had once been human.”
I was startled by that revelation.
“And then, endlessly… memories that did not feel like my own began to surface.”
The Demon King had been human? That could not be. Then what was this war for? Was the Demon King a demon, or a human? Yet the scent of the Demon King that mingled with the acrid smell of blood piercing my nose was unmistakably that of a demon. So the doubt soon faded.
“That is why I could not let this human die.”
The Demon King kept speaking.
“My past… the me from a time so distant it feels unreal… felt far too similar to this human.”
That was why she had been researching this human and new spells with such sincerity.
“……”
She herself seemed not to understand the reason, yet she continued to move her hands for the human with truly sorrowful eyes and a heart full of compassion, with the desire to save them. Seeing that, I felt I could understand.
“Once those memories began to burrow deep into my mind through Clairvoyance, I… I wonder why.”
The Demon King, who had gradually begun to open her heart to me, slowly revealed the true reason she had brought the human.
“It felt as though I had encountered the one and only being who could understand this long, long life of mine.”
She kept turning the blood-stained pages to create magic for the human, paying no mind to the books being soiled.
“I simply could not kill them. I… yes.”
At last, she confessed.
“I fell in love.”
With an emotion she herself had never understood until now. Perhaps she had only realized it by confessing to me.
“Until now, I had not been able to accept it… but as I spoke with you, it feels as though I am gradually coming to understand.”
About an emotion she would never have felt without Kibotos’s Clairvoyance.
“The memories of the distant past have not all returned yet… but this human seems to have lived a life exactly like mine, so I could not help but feel they would understand me.”
About love.
“Not only that—the heart this human carries… their personality… even the wounds caused by those things began to weigh on me more and more.”
Even though the other party was a human, the sworn enemy of demons.
“So even if it meant turning this human into a demon, I wanted to bring them here no matter what.”
She had ended up falling in love, she told me. I looked at the Demon King for a moment, then closed my eyes.
“Jemma, you probably cannot trust me anymore after this…”
The Demon King, who had begun to show me all her weaknesses, made a request.
“Just this once… help me.”
Her voice was sincere, desperate, serious.
“I cannot ask you to believe in me now… I have disappointed you so many times already. Even now, it is the same.”
Then, in a self-deprecating tone, she roughly waved her hands soaked in dried blood.
“Yes, haha—— Even I think it is ridiculous. The Demon King who wanted to slaughter every last human is doing something like this……”
She covered her face with one hand. Then—
“Still… still……”
Even so, she could not give up. The Demon King, who had finally felt an emotion she had never experienced in the decades since becoming Demon King, could not abandon it.
“Even while dying, this human searched for their comrades. Even while trying to give up, they suffered from lingering attachments and tried to open their eyes once more……”
She looked at something she herself had never possessed in the past.
“Long before becoming the Demon King, in a time I can barely remember, I do not think I ever felt anything like that… This human tried to take responsibility for everything.”
She was trying to make the human before her eyes her own, even while clinging to such flimsy reasons.
“I like this human’s life so much… It feels so similar to mine, yet they possess so many things I never had.”
Even though I could feel that the Demon King’s love was somewhat twisted.
“When I look at this human, I can see glimpses of my own forgotten self from long ago… and unlike me, I also like the pure heart of this human who now possesses everything, so I want to have it all.”
Why? Gradually, the Demon King began to seem pitiable. She had devoted her entire being to our race, never showing interest in any other amusements or entertainments, never even taking up a single hobby. She had sacrificed so much for our kind. Now, confronted with memories of the distant past and the love she had only just begun to feel, she looked lost and confused.
“……It is your first love, is it not?”
I thought, little by little, that it might be all right for her to indulge in something like this human.
“……I am sorry.”
The Demon King soon regained her composure, wiping her face with both hands.
“I must be so tired that I am not in my right mind……”
I was certain she had returned to the Demon King I knew.
“Enough. Do not worry about it… Once I satisfy this small curiosity of mine, I will take care of it myself.”
I understood clearly. The Demon King needed rest. The time I had spent with her was already approaching forty years. Even though demons possessed near-immortal lifespans, the Demon King had shouldered the fate of the demon race alone for far longer before I met her. Since the moment I met her, she had never satisfied any desire, never vented any longing. According to the other attendants and executives, she had lived such an ascetic life long before I arrived. How could anyone live like that without resting even once? Even I would collapse from exhaustion if I tried. For some reason, respect for the Demon King welled up within me. Even though the Demon King before my eyes looked utterly haggard, like a wreck addicted to the morphine called love, I knew why she was like this.
“It is all right, Your Majesty.”
With a faint smile, I placed my hand on her shoulder. I knew the reason I had lived so diligently until now. The reason I had run so far without tiring. It was because Belberman, Hayes, and Gematria had all loved me. Thanks to the love I had shamelessly received, I had been able to come this far. So I spoke, hoping she could accept it comfortably.
“Attendants like me will follow you wherever you go.”
“So it is all right for you to go where you wish.”
“Your Majesty has done more than enough until now…… So even if it seems absurd at times, you may trust yourself and move forward.”
Until now, the Demon King had given everything for us—for Hayes, for Gematria, for all demons. That was why, as the Demon King stared blankly at my face, I passed by her and began explaining the contents of the book she had been reading.
“According to the ancient spellbook, it says to manipulate the mana stone slightly differently.”
I did not want the Demon King to be consumed by such trivial guilt and instead hoped she would do what she needed to do. So I naturally steered the conversation back to the task at hand.
“I-is that so……?”
The Demon King, regaining her focus, began pouring magic into the mana stone again according to my words, working even harder to create the human’s new body. “……”
With the problem being resolved, the Demon King no longer seemed to hear my words properly and became absorbed in the human’s body. I watched her with a gradually softening smile. Little by little, she was becoming honest and true to her own joy. It felt as though my lord would finally be able to govern her own body with stable emotions. Even that gentle appearance was ultimately for our sake, and I knew that. Perhaps Gematria had felt this way when she looked at me. That was why she had been able to love me so much. Little by little, it felt as though her heart was being placed upon my own chest. It felt as though I was finally beginning to understand her, who had been like an ocean to me. Soon, in a very small voice, while the Demon King, no longer paying attention to me, was designing the human’s new body, I murmured.
“Your Majesty, you only need to stay like that……”
I hoped the Demon King would not go anywhere. Even if she remained here and did these strange things, I wanted her to stay here until the end as everyone’s Demon King. I wanted her to stay with us as the Demon King everyone could trust, rely on, and depend upon. I wanted her to stay by our side without dying. Unconsciously, I found myself wishing for that.
“……I shall.”
Yet how was she able to hear such embarrassing words so perfectly? The Demon King, who had begun to look at me little by little, answered like that, then lifted the corners of her mouth with truly moistened eyes and gave me a warm smile.
“Hehe…… You are being mischievous.”
I placed my hand on the back of the Demon King’s hand, which seemed to be struggling alone with manipulating the mana stone.
“Jemma, your magic……”
Although the Demon King did not know it, I too had become a body capable of manipulating magic. Since this was also the first time she had encountered this field, I carefully assisted the Demon King’s still-inexperienced magic while reshaping the mana stone anew. Yes, that was right. All of this—things I had been unable to do and had been ignorant of—was something I had only recently learned. While working like a madwoman alone, I had also studied diligently the things I had not learned. That was why I had learned to read books written in the ancient demon language. When I was with Gematria, everything except learning the relatively easy human language had been far too difficult and I had known nothing, so I thought I needed to learn in order to become a perfect attendant. And in the end, all those efforts of mine began to shine together here. I felt rewarded for all the time I had lived, thinking it was good that I had tried to become a perfect attendant. Even though I had lost those who loved me so cruelly, I could finally feel that I had lived well during the time I had walked alone. In that way, I became the Demon King’s perfect attendant. So that the Demon King could now experience love. While supporting her so she could do so. Even if I would have to introduce her to the other demons as merely a toy for a while, still—if the Demon King said she wanted to love a human, I would always allow it. I had answered that way now, and I would continue to do so in the future. The world Hayes had hoped for was also such a world. Even if I resented the humans who had taken Gematria away, I still remembered what Hayes used to say. One day, when I began to complain about this absurd world and ramble on, Hayes, with a fragrant piece of leaf in her mouth, had answered, “That is just how it turns.”
“The record of the world always turns that way and plays its song.”
Of course, back then I naturally did not know what a record was, but Hayes, who had been in close contact with the human world even at that time, told me.
“Sometimes that song sounds like noise, and sometimes a voice you really hate might come out.”
Even though at the time I had found it quite annoying when Hayes, who had been enjoying her leisure with her eyes closed, slightly opened one eye and looked at me while saying such smug words.
“However, someday the song will end…… and when even the needle connecting the record and the turntable falls off.”
Now, all of those words had become special to me.
“The charm of such songs is that you end up wanting to play them again.”
Suddenly, the smug smile of that girl I could no longer see came to mind.
“So do not hate it too much. Still, many of the verses in that song…… must have loved you.”
I hoped the Demon King would also recall those annoying words of Hayes that she had heard until she was sick of them, hold the same heart as me, and still move forward resolutely. I hoped she would sometimes rest comfortably through this human. Sometimes, she would be true to her desires. I hoped she would show this human all her weaknesses, share her emotions sincerely as she had with me, and that this human would become a nest the Demon King, who was reliable yet always seemed as though she might disappear somewhere, would want to return to. Just as the human Hayes had once brought had admired and accepted the demon way of life, if this human also accepted us…… Yes. That would be truly good for the Demon King as well.
“Aaaah……! Why does it keep rejecting my magic circle……!”
“Hmm…… I think it would be good to change the body structure one more time. Let us try just once more.”
Thus, we spent the entire day shut in there, pouring everything into creating the human’s new body.
“Ugh…… No, that is not it……”
“Just a little more, just a little more, Your Majesty……! Ah, if we do just a little more, I feel like we will find the answer……!”
Whether sitting in a chair staring blankly into the air or lying on the floor staring blankly at the sky, we would eventually cast magic again and derive new results. Swish——
“I will leave the timing to you……”
“Yes, Your Majesty…… Let us begin.”
Everything was connected, and now the final moment had come—the moment when the Demon King’s magic needed to flow in one last time. To the Demon King, who was nervously holding her palm over the mana stone embedded in the heart, I shouted.
“Now!”
Fwoooosh———!!
Then all the magic circles we had set up, even the broken ones, resonated with all sorts of magic and seeped into the broken body.
“……Human, this……”
Gradually, the human body we had redesigned many times began to regenerate. Starting from the completely shattered bones, muscles, skin tissue, eyes, nose, mouth, hair—everything was reborn there.
“……”
I stood beside the Demon King with my mouth agape for a moment, then said, “You did it…… Your Majesty. You have succeeded in creating a human for the first time. Well, in a way, you have succeeded in conquering a certain part of humanity.” I offered words of congratulations to the Demon King.
“……”
The Demon King withdrew the magic that no longer needed to be released and said, looking into my eyes, “……We did it.”
“Yes…… It is thanks to you, Jemma…… If it were not for you, it would have taken me years to complete this magic……”
I carefully shook my head at that.
“No. Even without me, Your Majesty would have been more than capable of doing it.”
Because I knew the Demon King’s personality as well as Hayes did.
“You are the one who always makes even impossible things possible, after all.”
I smiled and answered in that voice. Then the Demon King’s lips trembled as if truly moved, and she looked at the human lying in a clean body and spoke in a small voice.
“……Can I…… do well?”
Because I knew the Demon King well.
“……”
Because I knew the Demon King who was always so unsure behind the scenes but always moved forward with courage and eventually conquered everything she had been unsure about.
“There is something Hayes once said to me.”
After a short silence, I spoke.
“Life is like a record. Over a long time, it plays so many songs that it is hard to even count them…… but”
I quoted Hayes’s words, hoping they would be helpful to the Demon King.
“In the end, when that song ends and the needle falls off……”
So that the Demon King would not feel repulsed by trusting herself and expressing her heart. So that she would not become emotionless, just as I had when I did not know what the heart was.
“Someday, you will suddenly want to sing it again, she said.”
I offered the courage I had gained from meeting so many people and being loved by them, even so.
“So pour everything you have into it without regret.”
If even I turned my back on the Demon King now, I was beginning to realize how sad she would be. Because I was the only subordinate who could recall so many memories with Hayes and Gematria for the Demon King.
“……Thank you, always.”
The Demon King thus reconstructed the body of the human she had fallen in love with together with me, breathed new life into it, and continued to attempt various magics afterward, creating various functions. And then, while we continued to work together for several more hours, trying various things—
“……By the way, was there a special reason you wanted to entrust this to me?”
Suddenly, I recalled that there were other attendants with tighter lips than mine and many who were more knowledgeable in this area, and while setting aside the trivial feeling of wondering why she thought I was the best, I asked. But—
“Do you really need to ask something like that to know?”
The Demon King chuckled for a moment and then asked in return.
“Do you know what Gematria did as an executive?”
When I answered with a puzzled expression, wondering why Gematria was being brought up now—
“I know she guarded a certain safe……”
“Yes, Gematria would have gone around saying that.”
The Demon King shook her head and told me the truth.
“Gematria was the demon I trusted most before Hayes…… And in the end, I entrusted her with the most important position.”
It was the first time I learned about an aspect of Gematria I had not known.
“That job was to guard the door to the room where the being who forms the foundation of the demon race sleeps.”
The moment I heard about such a being, I was greatly flustered. To think that Gematria, who had always seemed so carefree, had been entrusted with such a task.
“Moreover, she not only did that but also directly managed the inside of the room…… She had been diligently managing that which lies deep within this Demon King’s castle.”
I listened carefully to the Demon King’s words for a moment, then—
“She followed me more sincerely than anyone else. Even though it was never a pleasant task, she devoted herself for me and our race.”
Soon I began to wonder why. Why was she telling me this story? Why was she telling me about that sleeping ancient being?
“W-wait a moment……! Why are you telling me this——”
When I cut off the Demon King’s words in surprise, hiding my emotions—
“……”
The Demon King looked at me with a gentle smile for a moment, then said, “After she passed away, I have been taking care of that place now…… but Gematria was truly an excellent gatekeeper and the best subordinate.”
Soon she took my hand and said, “Surely, Jemma……”
When I looked into the Demon King’s eyes in great confusion—
“If it is you who followed Gematria so devotedly and harbored feelings for her that went beyond a simple master-subordinate relationship…… I thought you would like it.”
The Demon King spoke carefully.
“Please succeed Gematria and become my new executive.”
With a face slightly tinged with guilt, she somehow managed to smile.
“Become my executive. Become my greatest subordinate.”
She requested.
“Until now, I, who had done nothing for her, wondered how I could apologize to her…… how I could convey that feeling to you. I had truly thought about it a lot.”
She conveyed the guilt she still could not shake off toward Gematria, the apologetic feelings toward me.
“However, I am still too clumsy at these things…… so nothing else came to mind.”
She told me.
“Therefore, Jemma.”
I stared blankly at the Demon King for a moment, then—
“Do not doubt yourself because of that. In all the moments we have spent together until now, I have never once been disappointed in you.”
When I saw the Demon King conveying that she would take me to the executive position not because my abilities were insufficient, but because everything was perfect—
“I have never once doubted you, just as you have never doubted me.”
I noticed one of the Demon King’s eyes glowing softly.
“Although that may be only my own thought, now with this eye, I can see it.”
In the end, the Demon King understood.
“You…… are searching for something huge that will change your life.”
To me. The true feelings I myself did not know.
“Hayes, Gematria, your little human—you had no choice but to sacrifice them…… You wanted to change a world that was so tragic, so desperate——”
The real reason I had been drawn to the Demon King.
“Something truly enormous.”
And the reason I still held that feeling.
“But unfortunately, that is not me.”
The Demon King was ultimately not a being created by the unity of our ideals, but a being created for us who were weak.
“Therefore…… I will entrust you with Gematria’s position.”
She told me, who was still searching for something, for my sake.
“From now on, guard that place for me forever, and someday, if someone you think is worthy of your wish appears……”
For me, who was still wandering. Not for warmth, but for me who was wandering in search of something huge that would change this world.
“Do not worry about my permission. Judge and decide only with your own heart.”
For the heavy heart I carried toward Gematria.
“Whether to open the door to that place or not.”
She told me.
“There will surely be things sleeping there that will help the being who will change this world.”
At that, I felt tears flowing down my face against my will, and—
“Although I could not directly access it myself…… as a reward to you, who has always silently taken responsibility for this Demon King’s castle by my side, I will give you the key to realizing your wish.”
To the Demon King who held both my hands tightly and spoke. To the Demon King who had erased all the bloodstains on her hands with magic at some point and held me.
“Therefore, Jemma.”
To me.
“You should live the life you want to live.”
To me. To me. To me, who the Demon King had realized was still bound by memories of Gematria.
“Hayes said it was something she wanted to tell you before she died.”
To the truly mischievous Demon King who was conveying Hayes’s last words now. I was so…… so, so, so grateful.
“Thank…… you……”
Blankly. Blankly, I was confused as to whether what was happening to me now was a miracle or a dream. I simply shed tears of emotion, feeling a warmth in the Demon King’s kind heart that I had never felt before. In truth…… in truth, even so, even then, I could not understand it at the time. To be honest, no matter how much I was wandering, at that time there was a part of my heart that thought the Demon King’s ideal was my ideal, and that the only being who could fulfill my wish was the Demon King. That was why, even when those precious to me began to leave me one by one, I had been able to endure by looking only at the Demon King until the very end. But…… but now. “Jemma……!!” Demon King. Now. Only now do I feel as though I understand why you said that. “I…… want to become stronger……!!” Hayes. I feel as though I understand why you left me that last will. Karia. Honestly, before I was with you, I had never once not doubted you. At first, I thought it was a bit forced that I was made to serve you by the Demon King’s command, by her will. But from the moment I met you and talked with you, I realized that those doubts were completely wrong. You are simply too different from those humans. To me, you are not just a human or anything of the sort. Your voice, your heart. The warmth I felt from your palm, incomparably pleasant compared to anyone else, and the comfort that began to be felt when I entered your embrace and rested, the kind of coziness one would feel if there were a bed in heaven. You made me feel so many things during my wandering life. The being who can change this tragic life of mine, the being who can change this world I so hated, is you, Master Karia. Not the Demon King who will dominate the heavens and earth with overwhelming military force, nor humanity who will survive even within that domination with heroic wisdom. Just you, who from the depths of your heart wishes for everyone to live peaceful lives, and who will stake everything to fight for that. It is you, Master Karia. So you must not shut yourself in here and cry sadly like that. You must not grieve over the Demon King’s injury with a face more fragile than anyone else’s. Therefore. From now on, I will devote myself to you. As Jemma the attendant who has already lost a master once, now as your subordinate. I will give everything to you. The ideal you showed me shone even brighter and was even more solid than the one Hayes showed me. So show me that future. This is the first and last request I make as an attendant. Show me all the future you are seeing. Spread the warm heart you showed me to everyone in this wide world. Tap, tap—— “Jemma, this place is……” By crossing this door, move forward toward the future. I will always silently wait behind you, following you from the depths of my heart until you return with that brilliant future. Until you bring the future, I will protect the present here. So, Master. My new king. “……Jemma……?” Move forward. For everyone. Your ideal. Show it all.