Why Did You Do That to Me
"Why did you do that to me?"
I tried to deny it. The Demon King had been human? That couldn't be possible. How could someone who used to be human do something like that to another person, treat them so cruelly? And now, after all this time, what? I'm human too?
I hadn't even noticed that my eyes were filling with murderous intent. My expression must have looked like I was about to grab the Demon King by the throat and hurl her into the flames, but she seemed to notice it first.
"Haha, just wait a little longer."
She stroked my head, trying to calm me as if she already knew everything I wanted to say. The fact that she knew exactly what I wanted to say only made my anger flare hotter, yet she continued in that unusually gentle tone.
"There are still so many things I want to tell you. Things I can't say to you in the castle because there are too many eyes watching..."
The Demon King, who usually spoke with such authority, now held me tightly with a sincere, almost pleading expression. In the end, I decided to hear her out, if only for the warmth of the campfire, and pushed her hand away from my head. She withdrew it without resistance.
"Alright... Then let me continue the story."
She looked up at the sea of stars once more.
"The reason I wanted to reveal my true identity... honestly, it was because I wanted to make excuses."
Her tone was gradually becoming more relaxed, almost familiar.
"I was human once, so I get lonely easily... That's why."
I was grinding my teeth in fury at the word "excuses" when she suddenly pulled my head against her chest.
"I fell for you."
"For decades, I believed that as the Demon King I could control the desires I had as a human. But the moment I met you, everything fell apart."
Of course. Naturally, the more I listened to her confession, the more my anger boiled over.
"So I had no choice but to take you. I had no choice but to make you like this."
Then why? If you liked me, if you loved me, why did you torment me so much? If it was love, couldn't you have just said it honestly?
I clenched my fists so hard my palms bled and buried my face deeper into her chest, my expression twisted in anguish. Yet she continued, as if she knew exactly what I was thinking.
"You were truly strong. In all my life, you were the first being in both the Demon Realm and the human world to break my horn. That's how strong you were."
She praised the hero I once was.
"So after I let you go, the next time we met, I felt like I could never win against you again... because humans are always like that."
She was explaining why she had kidnapped me.
"That's why I brought you here."
I couldn't hold back my rage any longer.
Thud———!
My fist slammed straight into her shoulder. The impact was solid, and even though she had clearly seen it coming, she hadn't stopped it. That only fueled my anger further.
"If that was the case... then at least treat me better——!!"
Still pressed against her chest, I poured out all the resentment I had been holding in.
"Why? Why did you make my life so miserable——! Why did you do that to me——!!"
Sobbing uncontrollably, unsure if the wetness on my face was tears or saliva, I remained in her embrace, pounding on her shoulder again and again. She didn't resist or say a word, simply letting my fists land. After a moment, she released her hold on me and gently, deeply stroked my hair.
"I'm a coward... I'm sorry."
Her voice was serious, her smile bitter.
"Turning you into this fragile body... that was also because of my fear."
I cried harder, my breathing ragged, but she carefully wiped away my tears and pulled me close again, patting my back soothingly.
"When I was human, I think I became biologically afraid of being a man. Even after becoming the Demon King, I couldn't approach you with a clear heart."
She embraced me once more, speaking softly.
"So I gave you this body. And even after that, it was still my fear. I was terrified that even in this form, you might still threaten my life. That's why I had to break you so thoroughly..."
She spoke as if it had all been necessary.
"I... I couldn't communicate with you!? Did I ever refuse to listen...!?"
I grew agitated again, my own attempts at reaching out to her now twisted into resentment toward her. She simply stroked my back once more.
"I'm sorry... But I can't deny that it was unavoidable."
Finally, she revealed her own reason.
"I am the one responsible for my race's prosperity."
Her tone had lightened, as if she were no longer the Demon King.
"For that reason, I can't keep anyone by my side who might put me in danger..."
She looked at me as if seeking understanding.
"Even so, I really liked you. I truly fell for you."
For a moment, I felt a chill, wondering if this too was a lie. But if it had been, she would have punished me the moment I struck her.
"Then just confess to me!! I would have accepted it!! I'm not some heartless trash like you! If you had been honest from the start, it would have been fine——!!"
Even after she had revealed everything she had hidden, it still felt so inadequate that my anger refused to subside. I struck her with all my strength once more. She didn't budge, simply gazing at me with damp eyes.
"I'm sorry, but if that had been possible, you wouldn't have had to suffer, and this war might never have happened."
She spoke with quiet conviction.
"But even so, for the sake of my race's prosperity, I had to invade humanity. No matter how I thought about it, demons are clearly superior to humans."
As the representative of the demon race.
"Even if that weren't the case, we had to win against humanity. This place is our home."
As the mother of the demon race.
"Why... Why do we still have to suffer like this...?"
I still couldn't accept it. It was already hard enough to accept that she had broken me just to keep me by her side, but hearing that she started this war because she couldn't be honest was too much. Those words were too cowardly.
"Even so."
She slowly took hold of my shoulders and looked me in the eyes.
"Even so, no matter what fate awaits us, I will love you."
Her face was serious—foolishly, earnestly serious.
"I will slander you, strangle you, leave bite marks on you."
I suspected this was supposed to be a confession, but the words made me want to recoil in disgust.
"I will make you mine."
Those words were maddening, yet...
"Because to me, you are... my one and only love."
Still, somehow... At that moment, a meteor shower began to fall from the sky like rain. Dozens, hundreds of shooting stars streaked across the painted sea of stars, leaving long tails behind them. The campfire burned pleasantly, and the Demon King's body held just the right warmth.
I... In that moment, even though such words made me want to gag, even though this stupid, idiotic trash of a Demon King was so detestable, I was beginning to understand what kind of person she truly was.
"I will never love you..."
I glared at her.
"Even if I die, even if you kill me a thousand times, I will never love you."
I grabbed her collar with both hands, my arms trembling.
"Every time you raped me, I thought about it every single day. Why did I have to go through this?"
My heart had calmed somewhat during her confession, and now my voice was filled with cold resolve.
"So even though I'm still terrified of you... since you mustered the courage to create this moment, I'll muster the courage to say this too."
My eyes were sharp as I cursed her.
"Even if I die, I will regain my power."
I gripped her collar tighter with my shaking arms.
"With the power you feared so much, I will definitely kill you."
Even though holding onto her collar like this was already exhausting and draining...
"I will kill you, I swear——!!"
Why? The Demon King, who had listened to every word of my curse without missing a single one, looked at me with a relieved smile.
"Alright."
With an expression of satisfaction, she carefully pried my hands from her collar and draped them around her neck instead.
"That's enough."
She pulled me into a gentle embrace.
"I'm sorry. You did well."
The Demon King who said those words... the woman I had come to know as the Demon King was that kind of person. Greedy and trashy, yes, but fundamentally kind. She loved me and wanted me by her side, but she also had to conquer humanity and couldn't afford to keep dangerous beings close. She was the worst of the worst, but... for the demons, there was no one better. That was why she was the Demon King.
The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to run away right now. But... somehow...
She stroked my hair again.
"Have you finished crying?"
"I'm not crying."
Still, after talking so openly like this...
"Really not crying?"
"I said I'm not."
A little. Just a little. Even toward this piece-of-shit Demon King, I found myself harboring some expectations.
"I see?"
"Enough. So... why did you keep killing me?"
Now that we had released our emotions, we sat holding each other again, gazing up at the sky as we spoke. The difference from before was...
"That was... because I wanted to make you into a more perfect body."
We looked at the sky together, then at the sky reflected in each other's eyes.
"A body beautiful enough that I would be satisfied... and you would be satisfied too."
"Then you really did like human women in your past life?"
As we gazed into each other's eyes with the pleasant crackling of the campfire as background, we began to share the stories we had wanted to tell.
"Yeah. Enough to want to impregnate you."
"...You said you couldn't."
I flinched slightly at those words, but still... Since you were honest with me...
"That's something we don't know yet, right?"
"Stop talking nonsense..."
Just this once, I'll try to believe you. Just this one apology, I'll try to believe.
"Ah, right... But the hero was strong too, wasn't he? Didn't you like him?"
"No."
Because I felt like I was going to die from the Demon King's torment, I finally realized that the conversation spot she had prepared wasn't half-bad. The impossibly beautiful sky was telling me that.
"That human... didn't have the sparkle you have."
It wasn't proof of everything, but... the fact that she started the war because she couldn't be honest.
"Right now, the way you're trying to have a proper conversation with me."
Hearing those words, I found myself clinging to hope.
"Hope?"
"...That person wanted to die by my hand."
When she spoke of the hero, when she told me more stories she had hidden...
"But you were different from that human. You faced me with an endlessly pure heart."
"I just wanted to be happy..."
When you told me that you started the war because you couldn't be honest, for some reason, it seemed like you were wishing for everyone to be honest with each other.
"That's why you're special."
After that, I continued talking with the Demon King, who cherished me so specially.
"Not just to me. I'm sure many others who were with you felt the same way."
Even though the Demon King kept saying things that felt like courtship, making my ears feel coated with sugar...
"Your mental strength is unparalleled compared to any other human."
Why? Because I hadn't heard such words in half a year? I had forgotten how to respond, but... it still felt good to hear.
"...Yeah."
I had wanted to say thank you, but my mouth wouldn't move easily, so all I could manage was a dry reply. Yet the Demon King, perhaps starved for the love she had been unable to express, held me even tighter, nuzzling her face against my body.
"From now on, I will never hurt you again."
She whispered it like a promise. I was genuinely startled.
"R-Really?"
When I asked if she meant it, she grinned.
"Unfortunately, that's a lie."
She playfully pretended to bite me, and when I was truly surprised, she revealed her true preferences.
"I like it when you cry. Even your pained expressions are cute."
She confessed her real tastes.
"I like your suffering, your despair... I want to lock every single moment in my memories."
She was telling me that even though what she had done to me was unavoidable, it was also genuinely to her liking. As unpleasant memories began to surface and my shoulders trembled, she carefully wrapped her arms around me to stop the shaking and revealed what she had hidden behind those preferences.
"But I promise you this."
"I like the sight of you happy just as much as I like the sight of you suffering."
Come to think of it, it had always been that way. From now on, she would change.
"From now on, the more you suffer, the more I'll make you happy."
She was saying she would change.
"......"
I stared at her intently.
"Then..."
Cautiously, I asked about the hope I had begun to harbor.
"Could you... be honest with me too?"
"......"
The Demon King was silent for a moment before answering firmly.
"That can't happen."
"What you're hoping for is an impossible ideal. Even if we all sacrifice ourselves, it can't be done."
With that single sentence, she seemed to understand exactly what I was hoping for, her gaze shifting away from me.
"So if you really try to do something ridiculous for that ideal, I will truly torment you."
She looked at me again, as if to say she would stop me no matter what.
"I will stuff you so you can't die and hang you above my throne."
When I flinched, she patted me, but her words remained unchanged.
"......"
But with those words, I had already found the path I needed to take. A world where everyone could be honest. A way to end this war. Even though I had already been defeated once... even though the path to happiness had grown faint... my happiness might not be so far away after all. If I could find a way to make her stop this war... If I could find it... If the Demon King stopped the war, I could save humanity and eliminate the conflict between us. Then the Demon King could love me freely, and someday, I too... Not now, of course!!!! But someday, perhaps I could find a reason to look at the Demon King again. Perhaps I could even console the souls of my fallen comrades. I would definitely find that concrete method. I would definitely succeed. That was why we had left our homeland and come here.
After talking nonsense with the Demon King for a while, I suddenly noticed...
"......"
Justitia's profile passing behind the Demon King.
"..."
When I stared blankly at her, she glanced at me and said,
"No matter what you do, we will follow you."
"Wherever you are, we will follow."
That day. The day I decided to help the hero.
"So sail across this vast world to your heart's content... our foolish bear."
Those were the words she had said to me. Of course, while I was seeing her illusion...
"Are you listening to me?"
"Huh?"
The Demon King appeared in my vision again, blocking the illusion.
"Where were you looking...?"
When she looked puzzled, I smiled faintly and made up an excuse about being entranced by the beautiful meteor shower.
"Tia."
I said it.
"Tia?"
"Calling you 'Demon King' all the time feels... a bit much."
Since we would probably be together for a long time from now on...
"Tia..."
"Yeah, Tia."
I felt like I needed a name I could call her comfortably. Especially in moments like this, when the Demon King showed a side of herself that didn't feel like the Demon King. Honestly, I didn't really know what else she was called besides Demon King, so I just decided on that. She mulled over the name I had given her for a moment, her expression slightly displeased, but then she blinked and looked into the distance.
"Still, I'll allow you to call me that specially."
She smiled slyly at me, her voice sounding very pleased. I smiled back faintly.
"Tia Belberman. Yes, from today onward, I should use the name Tia Belberman..."
The Demon King went a step further and took my old name as well. When I tried to protest her greed, she leaned in and lightly kissed my cheek.
"Then my name is——"
She kissed me and said,
"Karia."
Karia. She called me Karia.
"W-What kind of name is that?"
Startled by the sudden kiss and the fact that I actually liked the name more than I expected, I asked where it came from. But...
"That's a secret."
She had taken my precious name and was trying to brush it off as a secret.
"I-If you don't tell me, I'll kill you right now!"
I protested, thinking about how many memories I had with the name Belberman and what that name meant to me, demanding she reveal its origin. Then she said,
"Then I'll ■■■ you right here——"
She uttered such vulgar and terrifying words that I couldn't even bring myself to repeat them.
"......"
I genuinely felt my trauma flare up and shrank back, no longer in the mood for jokes. After that, the Demon King apologized and whispered that she loved me for what felt like an eternity until my anger subsided, but I kept turning my head away, insisting that I would never love her until the day I died.
"Still, I'll keep watching what you do from your side... so stop apologizing already......"
Of course, I never said I wouldn't stay with her.
"Yeah... I like you, Karia."
Honestly speaking... Honestly, the Demon King I saw at first was... my type. Even if my comrades might curse me from the afterlife... I had already come too far. If you can't avoid it, enjoy it. If you can't win, join them. Those were natural words, weren't they? Ah, this... Maybe being with trash is turning me into trash too. Still, recycling... might be possible, right?