What Shine Likes
I was looking down at Shine, who was fast asleep in bed, when Amy spoke to me.
"Jeff."
"Yes?"
"You want to go home, don't you?"
I hesitated, mumbling at Amy's sudden question. Go home. The truth was, if it were possible, I wanted to go back.
"But it's dangerous outside."
To go home, I had to get out of here. A chain of thoughts followed. The outside is dangerous. If I leave this place, I'll be in danger. The thought came so naturally that I didn't even think to question it.
"True, it is dangerous."
"And I don't think Shine wants to go back."
"Shine doesn't?"
"Yes."
I turned around and stroked Shine's hair. Her fine, silky strands slipped through my fingers. The pleasant, soft sensation brought a faint smile to my face. She looked so peaceful asleep, and as if sensing my touch, a tiny smile played on her lips.
"I think Shine likes it better here."
"What do you think of this place, Jeff?"
"It's a bit suffocating, but I don't think it's bad either."
I pulled the blanket over Shine and turned back around. My eyes met Amy's in the quiet air.
"Amy, what exactly is it that you do?" I asked, swinging my short legs.
At my question, Amy seemed to sink into deep thought.
"I'm saving kids like you."
"Kids like me?"
"The ones trapped in the laboratories. I can't just stand by and watch children be exploited for the rest of their lives."
I fell silent. She seemed to have a deep, painful history. Her dark, somber eyes spoke volumes.
"Hey, Jeff. Could you perhaps tell me... what you did while you were in the lab?" Amy asked cautiously. Then, she quickly added, "If it's too painful to remember, you don't have to tell me."
I began to organize my thoughts. I didn't particularly want to lie, but since I was staying here by riding on her misunderstanding, it would be best to describe life in the lab from the perspective of the test subjects.
"The mornings start early," I began slowly, searching my memories. A test subject's morning starts incredibly early. Since the staff all had different shift times, I didn't know about the others, but I also had to wake up at a very early hour. Faint memories began to chain together. My vague words gradually took on more detail.
"Every morning, we get asked the same questions."
In my case, it would be more accurate to say I was the one asking the questions. But now, I had to answer as a test subject—as a test subject who had been experimented on her entire life. Hearing my story, Amy drew closer. She sat down beside me on the plush bed. Her hand gently reached out and clasped mine. When I looked up at her, she pulled me into a silent hug. It felt a bit suffocating, but I didn't push her away.
"Just simple things, like how our health is, or if there's anything we want to eat."
"Did they give it to you if you asked?"
"Well..."
Surely they couldn't eat whatever they wanted. I didn't know about the other test subjects, but Shine's case was special.
"I'm not sure about the other test subjects."
"Jeff."
"Yes?"
"Don't call them test subjects."
I shut my mouth, flinching slightly as if I'd made a mistake. Sensing my reaction, Amy gently stroked my back.
"You aren't test subjects."
"Okay..." I replied softly.
My mouth opened cautiously, and I began to speak of the daily life I had shared with Shine. It was an ordinary, unremarkable story. A story of nothing happening, no conversations, no interactions. Even though it must have been incredibly boring, Amy listened intently to every word.
"So, was it the same for Shine?"
I hesitated to answer. What I had been describing was Shine's appearance from my own perspective, reconstructed and framed as if seen through her eyes. It wasn't good to say too much. My expression stiffened, and I fell silent. Noticing my troubled look, Amy gently caressed my cheek. I felt a slight discomfort at her touch. I pulled away from her hand and spoke.
"I'm not sure, since I was separated from Shine."
There had indeed been a thick glass wall between us, so it wasn't a lie. At my answer, Amy quietly took a breath.
"Thank you, Jeff."
I averted my eyes. I wasn't someone who deserved her gratitude.
"We're the Resistance," Amy said quietly once my story was finished.
"The Resistance?"
"Yes. Just because you were born with special abilities, being dragged to a lab to spend your entire life there... it's too cruel."
I nodded. I agreed with her to some extent. But then again, it was because of the sacrifices of people like them that others could enjoy their rights. I didn't bother voicing that thought aloud, though.
"Our goal is to save them."
I realized that even terrorist organizations had their own convictions. This raised a question in my mind.
"But that's illegal."
"The law doesn't matter to us."
"The police will hunt you down."
"We aren't afraid of the police."
I fell silent, rubbing my lips. If I kept talking, I felt like I would make a slip of the tongue. A brief silence settled between us, both of us realizing we had said too much.
I organized my thoughts. In any case, maintaining the status quo seemed like the best option for now.
"I like it here."
I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it either. I was just voicing what I thought Shine would think. Thinking from Shine's perspective, she definitely wouldn't want to go back to the lab. We were family, after all—had I been being too selfish all this time? I turned and stroked Shine's cheek. The soft, squishy texture of her cheek pressed against my fingertips.
"Shine says she likes it too."
Still, being cooped up was suffocating. If I had to live the rest of my life stuck in this facility, I would escape by any means necessary.
It happened while I was caressing Shine's cheek. A soft chuckle sounded from behind me, and at the same time, Amy wrapped her arms around me. Before I could even think to resist, her hands slipped under my armpits, pulling me back until I was nestled snugly between her legs. Her hands, reaching from behind, rested on my stomach. Amy rested her chin heavily on the crown of my head. The warmth radiating from her entire body made my face flush. I stayed completely still, barely daring to breathe. This unfamiliar warmth and affection, something I had never experienced before, made my mind go completely blank. As I sat there dazed, my eyes darting around, Amy's hand began to move. The right hand resting on my stomach slipped away. She rummaged through her pocket and held out a small card to me.
"This is..."
"A citizenship card."
I touched the small card in my hand. Citizenship cards weren't easily issued. The grade written on the card was Grade 5. It was a high-grade card that allowed unrestricted passage up to District 5. On the front of the card, my photo, age, and name were printed.
JEFF]
NAME: Jeff
AGE: [Age]
STATUS: ACTIVE
"Give it to Shine when she wakes up."
Amy handed me Shine's card as well. Two small cards now rested in my hands. They were identical, save for the names. The serial numbers on the back would be different, but from the front, they looked exactly the same.
Now I had two citizenships. One was the Grade 7 card I originally used. And the other was this newly acquired Grade 5 card. A flood of emotions washed over me. I touched the cards with a complicated gaze. I remembered my past days, how hard I had struggled to raise my grade. Yet here, in the body of a little girl, I had obtained a citizenship card of a higher grade than the one I had spent my entire life striving for, without paying any price at all.
"I wanted to set it to an even higher grade, but I couldn't do it right now. There are still people out there searching for you."
"An... even higher grade?"
The fluorescent light reflected off the glossy card. It was so dazzlingly bright that I covered the card with my hand.
"Yes. Once this is all sorted out, I'll upgrade it to a higher one."
I felt a cold sweat run down my spine. Upgrading the citizenship grade. Who exactly was Amy, to speak of such a thing so easily? My mind raced. Caressing the card, I asked cautiously, "Amy, what grade are you?"
"Me?"
The voice from above held a soft chuckle. She hugged me tightly and replied, "It's a secret."
"What's a secret?"
No sooner had Amy finished speaking than a familiar voice rang out. Shine seemed to have woken up. Approaching with rustling sounds, Shine pried Amy's arms off me. She then squeezed herself into the gap between us, causing Amy to lean backward.
"Shine."
"Yeah?"
"I think Amy has a lot of secrets."
Saying so, I handed the card to Shine. She began to examine the card I gave her.
"What's this?"
"Citizenship."
"Citizenship?"
Shine didn't seem to know what citizenship was. After playing with the card in her hand for a moment, she tossed it onto the bed as if she had lost interest.
"You shouldn't do that."
Amy, who had been holding us, quickly sat up and picked up the card. Setting me down, she scooped Shine up in her arms. Holding the card in one hand and Shine in the other, she began to lecture her on how important citizenship was. But Shine only averted her eyes with an uninterested expression.
"I'm hungry."
Leaving Shine and Amy's conversation behind, I picked up the card. The glossy card, with the name 'Jeff' written on it, and the photo of a little girl. After a moment of hesitation, I placed the card on a nearby table. Noticing this, Amy sat Shine and me down on nearby chairs and began to explain about citizenship. Although Shine grumbled about being hungry, she listened to her until the end.
I let Amy's words drift in one ear and out the other. Not only did I already know all of this, but it was a citizenship I wouldn't be able to use anyway once I returned to my original body. Of course, if I couldn't return, the opposite would be true.
Seeing how uninterested Shine and I looked, Amy sighed and took the cards back.
"I should probably give these to you when you're a bit older. It would be a disaster if you lost them somewhere."
"Amy, I said I'm hungry."
Amy chuckled softly at Shine's whining, as if she had no choice.
"Well, it's a bit early, but shall we go eat?"
Shine and I exchanged glances and hopped down from our chairs. The pitter-patter of our small footsteps echoed through the room.