Self-Awareness (7)
"Would you... would you like to come to my room... for a cup of tea?"
At Dokgo Ryeong's sudden invitation, Wi Ilcheong let out a soft snort of laughter.
"Pfft... Who taught you to say that?"
"Huh?"
"That doesn't sound like something Young Lady Dokgo would come up with on her own. Don't you prefer wine over tea?"
"Uh... well..."
Watching her hesitate, Wi Ilcheong rose and walked toward her.
Dokgo Ryeong backed away step by step until her back met the wall. Wi Ilcheong asked,
"Do you understand what you just said to me?"
"Ah... no..."
He planted one arm against the wall and leaned in close, explaining in a low voice.
"You just invited a man who admires you — this late at night, just the two of us — to spend time together in your private chambers."
"Ah... that..."
"In other words, Young Lady, you've just taken hold of my little finger."
"Hweh?!"
Watching her hair begin to shift toward pink, Wi Ilcheong smiled.
"Don't do that again."
"W-what?"
"You turned down my proposal earlier, didn't you? I'm not sure what brought this on, but I'll have to decline for tonight."
"Why... why?"
"It doesn't seem like this is truly your own will — and I still haven't heard your answer."
The moment she heard his reply, Dokgo Ryeong's heart plummeted.
Unaware of what was going through her mind, Wi Ilcheong continued.
"I'd planned to wait as patiently as a tree for a while, but since you've come to me yourself, I'll ask once more. Do you still have no intention of answering me?"
"Ah... that... uuhh..."
Seeing her struggle to reply, Wi Ilcheong nodded.
"That's answer enough. It's all right."
He turned his back.
"When you've made up your mind, come find me again, Young Lady. Or take hold of my little finger, if you prefer. It seems someone has been filling your head with strange ideas and sending you to rattle me."
"Ah... no... that's..."
"The night is cold. Sleep warm. Well then..."
Watching his back as he walked away — his manner cooler than usual — Dokgo Ryeong felt a sharp ache in her chest.
She had assumed he would naturally accept. Confronted with a reality so different from what she had imagined, she was thrown into confusion.
Above all, the terror of possibly losing someone, and the wound of being rejected, cut her deeply.
And so Dokgo Ryeong took a step forward.
She planted her foot, caught the hem of Wi Ilcheong's robe as he turned, and asked,
"Is it... is it because I rejected you?"
"Pardon?"
"Earlier... because I didn't answer?"
"...That's not it."
"Then why...!"
Her voice rose.
"Y-you usually like this kind of thing..."
"...I'm sorry, Young Lady. I have other matters to attend to tonight."
"Don't reject me."
"...Excuse me?"
"I want to be with you..."
Dokgo Ryeong clutched the fabric of his robe tightly.
In a trembling voice, she poured out her true feelings.
"I... I want you to touch me."
"..."
"I want you to stroke me... When you held my hand... it was warm..."
"That..."
"And... and the dirty stuff too!"
Her voice grew a little wet.
"I... I liked it a little. So... please don't reject me..."
"..."
"Don't... don't hate me..."
At last tears spilled from her eyes, and Wi Ilcheong turned back and took her hand firmly in his.
"...Why are you crying, Young Lady?"
"B-because I didn't answer..."
"Haa... That's not it."
Wi Ilcheong rubbed his brow with one hand, looking weary.
"...It's true that I want to hear your honest feelings. But I declined tonight because of something else. I'm genuinely happy that you came to me, but..."
"Then... don't reject me."
"..."
"Do... do the dirty stuff with me..."
"Young Lady..."
"I like you."
Dokgo Ryeong wiped her tears with one hand and looked up at him.
"N-not a lot... just a little..."
"..."
"More than a little..."
Wi Ilcheong stared at her in stunned silence, and eventually she averted her eyes and revised herself.
"...A little a lot..."
"Kh... khkh..."
"..."
"Haa... honestly..."
Wi Ilcheong burst into laughter, then pulled the hand he was holding and drew her into his arms.
"Kyaah!"
"How can you be this adorable?"
"Ah... thaat... haauuh..."
"...I'm sorry. It seems I've worried you for nothing."
"No, that's..."
Held against his chest, Dokgo Ryeong's heart raced.
Feeling how rigid she had gone with tension, Wi Ilcheong stroked her hair as he spoke.
"...After we parted earlier and I returned to my room, a messenger pigeon was waiting for me. It left me in rather low spirits. That's all it was."
"Ah... then..."
"You may not have given me an answer, but you've always shown me your true feelings through your actions. So I already had a fair idea of what was in your heart."
"Hiiik...!"
"Still, hearing you say it yourself makes me very happy."
Wi Ilcheong smiled as he looked down at her face.
"A little a lot."
"D-don't tease me..."
"Khkh. More importantly — your voice was so quiet earlier that I couldn't quite make it out."
"Hweh?!"
"Would you say it for me one more time?"
Wiping the tears from the face of the woman in his arms, Wi Ilcheong asked,
"How do you feel about me?"
"D-do I really have to say it?"
"Yes. I couldn't hear you properly."
"Th-that's a lie. I said it loud enough..."
"I truly couldn't hear it."
"Haauuh... reeeally..."
Dokgo Ryeong buried her flushed, embarrassed face against his chest to hide it.
"D-do I really have to say it again?"
"Yes."
"Shii... reeeally..."
She nuzzled against him for a moment, then seemed to steel herself and lifted her head.
"Y-you have to listen carefully, okay?"
"Yes. I'm listening."
"I... I like you..."
"Who?"
"Stop tormenting me..."
"You haven't said who you like. How am I supposed to know?"
"Shii..."
Her ears burning scarlet, Dokgo Ryeong said,
"Wi... Wi Ilcheong."
"Hmm?"
"I... I like you..."
"...Well done."
Wi Ilcheong smiled and stroked her hair.
"Hnn..."
"I'm truly delighted that you told me."
"Y-yeheh..."
"..."
For a while after that, the two of them simply held each other in silence, savoring each other's warmth.
Then Wi Ilcheong was the first to release her from his arms.
"So then... hmm..."
Watching him deliberate, Dokgo Ryeong tilted her head.
"Wh-what is it?"
"...You came here intending to do dirty things as well, didn't you, Young Lady?"
"Hweeh..."
Her hair flushed a full, vivid pink.
"Th-that... haauuh... y-yeheh..."
"Do you wish to consummate our first night tonight?"
"Uuh..."
Dokgo Ryeong fidgeted, then carefully looked up at him.
"I-if you want to..."
"Then let's do it another time, not tonight."
"Hweh?!"
Dokgo Ryeong, who had been tensely coiled in anticipation, jolted in shock.
"Wh-why?"
"Well, you see..."
"D-do you not want to do it with me?"
"..."
When she looked up at him with pleading eyes, Wi Ilcheong's heart gave a hard thump.
"Please don't look at me like that, Young Lady."
"...What?"
"...I can barely hold myself back."
"??"
Dokgo Ryeong tilted her head in confusion, and Wi Ilcheong looked away first.
"...It's not that I don't want to. I simply wish to receive Young Lady Dokgo's first night a little later."
"Wh-when?"
"On the night of the full moon. Your virginity is... important not only for Yin-Yang Dual Cultivation, but to me as well."
"What?"
"The Classic of the Plain Girl, you see."
"Ah..."
"Your Yin energy will be at its strongest around the full moon. Performing it then will benefit both of us far more in terms of internal energy growth. So..."
Wi Ilcheong looked her straight in the eye again.
"...Two weeks from now. On the night the full moon rises — will you give me your virginity?"
Dokgo Ryeong flushed and gave a tiny nod.
"...Yes."
"Thank you."
"Th-then..."
She caught hold of his robe again and asked,
"W-we're not doing anything today?"
"If you wish to, Young Lady, we will."
"...Haauuh..."
Dokgo Ryeong hung her head and stared at the floor as she spoke.
"I... um... I... want to..."
"I see."
"..."
"Would you lift your head for me, Young Lady?"
"I-it's embarrassing..."
"We'll be doing far more embarrassing things than this, you know?"
"Uuuhh..."
When she raised her half-tearful face, Wi Ilcheong let out a soft laugh.
"Pfft... You're the one who said you wanted to do dirty things, Young Lady Dokgo. Why that expression?"
"Ah... hwaaah... th-that... d-don't ask..."
"Khkh, I understand. Still a bit shy, I see."
"Y-yeheh..."
"Then how about this."
"...What?"
Wi Ilcheong took her hand and led her toward the bedchamber.
Once seated on the bed, he stood her before him and said,
"Do as you like."
"...What?"
"You're still quite bashful, so I think it best you grow comfortable with me first. I won't make the first move — so do whatever you wish, Young Lady."
"Hweh... ah... that..."
"If there's something you want, just say so. I'll do it for you."
"Haauuh..."
As she floundered in panic, Wi Ilcheong smiled and took her hand.
"I'll simply sit still."
"C-can I really do whatever I want...?"
"Yes."
"C-close your eyes."
"Pardon?"
"I-it's embarrassing... so... close your eyes..."
"Khkh, all right."
Wi Ilcheong closed his eyes with a smile, and Dokgo Ryeong worked to calm her trembling heart as she slowly looked at him.
"Y-you won't open them?"
"No. I won't open them."
After waving her hand in front of his face several times to confirm his eyes were truly shut, Dokgo Ryeong slowly reached out and brushed her fingers across his forehead.
"Ah..."
She traced lightly over his brow, then down to his eyelids, and even ran a fingertip along the bridge of his nose.
And then... her fingers found his lips.
"Uuuh..."
Looking at his mouth, she was reminded of what had happened between them before.
"Ah..."
Her own lips went dry.
Without even realizing it, she licked them again and again as she gently fretted over Wi Ilcheong's lips with her fingertips.
Then he spoke.
"Do you wish to kiss me?"
"Hweh?! Y-yes... yes?!"
"You've been toying with my lips for some time now."
"Haauuh... that..."
"You're free to try."
"R-really?"
"I told you, didn't I? Do as you wish, Young Lady."
"Th-that... haauuh..."
When Wi Ilcheong closed his mouth again, Dokgo Ryeong couldn't tear her eyes from his lips.
Do... do I have to go first...?
Her lips kept going dry.
"D-don't open your eyes?"
"I won't open them."
"D-don't talk either."
"..."
Dokgo Ryeong cupped both of his cheeks and slowly brought her face closer.
"Haa... hnn..."
She breathed roughly without meaning to, and her hair tickled the tip of his nose.
"..."
Very briefly, and very lightly.
She pressed her lips to his for just a moment, then immediately pulled away.
"..."
She touched her own lips with a finger, replaying the sensation, and rubbed her thighs together against the ticklish heat that had been building in her lower dantian for some time.
Soft... and pliant...
Still fretting over her lips, Dokgo Ryeong carefully asked him,
"C-can I do it one more time...?"
"You don't need to ask, Young Lady Dokgo."
"Ah... okay."
She bent at the waist again to bring her face close, then asked,
"Um... c-can I sit on your lap?"
"I keep telling you that you don't need to ask, khkh."
"...B-but still..."
"Go ahead and sit."
Wi Ilcheong patted his thigh, and Dokgo Ryeong looped her arms around his neck and settled onto his lap.
"I-I'm going to...?"
"...Yes."
The second kiss lasted a little longer than the first.
With their lips pressed together, Dokgo Ryeong closed her eyes to savor the feeling.
"Hnn..."
At first it was only lips against lips, but then she began to move hers, gently working them.
As their joined mouths shifted, their breath passed back and forth between them.
"Mmm..."
After fretting her lips against his several more times, she pulled away and asked,
"Um... um... you know..."
"Yes, Young Lady."
"C-can I put my tongue in... too?"
"..."
At those words, Wi Ilcheong opened his eyes.
"I-I told you not to open them!"
"...Young Lady Dokgo, you really are... haa..."
"D-did I do something wrong?"
"...No. I'm simply astonished."
"Hwaat?!"
Wi Ilcheong caught her by the waist and pulled her flush against him.
"...Don't ask. Just do as you please."
"B-but still..."
"Everything is fine. If there's something you want, simply tell me."
"Haauuh... s-so it's really okay...?"
"How many times must I say it? It's fine."
"Th-then..."
Dokgo Ryeong parted her legs and took hold of his hand.
Then she guided Wi Ilcheong's hand between her thighs.
"H-here... touch me here..."
"..."
"I-it's been... t-tickling since earlier..."
"Haa... honestly..."
Wi Ilcheong, who had been holding back and holding back, finally let go of the last thread of his restraint.