Self-Awareness - (2)
Wi Ilcheong, who had gone to see the Sword God, underwent the exact same experience as Dokgo Ryeong.
“Hah… hah…”
“Did you see it?”
“…Yes, I did.”
“How was it?”
“…I find myself thinking it was a good thing I risked rudeness to seek your teaching.”
“Keul-keul-keul. You’re gilding this old man’s face.”
Namgung Woncheong laughed as he looked at Wi Ilcheong.
“By the way, you’re a rather peculiar one.”
“Pardon?”
“You can’t build inner energy on your own, yet you invent sword techniques by yourself. Is that right?”
“Yes, that is correct.”
“Interesting. Who was your master, by chance?”
“…My inner energy comes from interpreting the secret manuals passed down in my family alone. As for the sword techniques, I simply devised them while pondering how to make use of the vast inner energy I possessed. Most of it is nothing more than imitating the movements of beasts.”
“That is precisely the ‘Fist of Form and Intent.’ Is that not the foundation of martial arts?”
Namgung Woncheong picked up a tree branch and assumed a stance.
“Simply copying the form makes one third-rate. Infusing it with intent makes one second-rate. When history accumulates upon that, one becomes first-rate. These are the sorts of things often said when discussing martial arts.”
“I have heard as much.”
“When you copied the forms of animals to create your sword techniques, did you ever consider what thoughts drove those animals to take such actions?”
“…I have not.”
“Think on such things and reexamine your own sword techniques once more. Then you will be able to take another step forward.”
“I am grateful for your teaching, Elder.”
As Wi Ilcheong bowed his head and clasped his fists in salute, Namgung Woncheong nodded.
“Rather, I am the one who should be grateful. Thanks to you, I had a delightful time.”
“…Did I do something?”
“I mean Dokgo Ryeong, keul-keul.”
“Ah…”
Wi Ilcheong made an awkward expression.
It was neither a smile nor a look of embarrassment—an ambiguous face that made Namgung Woncheong’s eyebrows rise.
“So something did happen, then.”
“…It was just an ordinary matter.”
“Ordinary matters have a way of turning out to be anything but ordinary.”
“…”
“Keul-keul-keul. This old man has meddled too much. Forgive me.”
“Not at all, Elder. It is simply…”
Wi Ilcheong lowered his head.
“…that there is nothing I can do on my own.”
“Hm?”
“A tree can only wait for a traveler to enter its shade. A tree does not first offer its shade to the traveler.”
“Hmm…”
“For now, I intend to wait.”
Hearing Wi Ilcheong’s words, Namgung Woncheong spoke with a laugh.
“They say husband and wife are of one mind, keul-keul.”
“We are not husband and wife.”
“This old man never named anyone, did he?”
“…You are mischievous.”
“Keu-ha-hat!”
Namgung Woncheong laughed heartily, then approached Wi Ilcheong and lightly tapped him on the head with the tree branch.
“Listen here. You are not a tree—you are a person.”
“I know that.”
“No, it seems you do not know it either. A tree can only wait for a traveler suffering from the heat to enter its shade… but a person can take off his own clothes and create shade for them.”
“…”
“Sometimes time itself can become poison. Rather than waiting indefinitely, set a deadline and wait.”
“…I will take it to heart.”
“Keu-ha-hat! Then I shall be off. I hope this old man’s teaching has been of some help.”
“I have already learned more than enough, Elder. Truly, thank you.”
“What great thing did I do?”
As Namgung Woncheong waved his hand and departed, Wi Ilcheong, left alone, mulled over his words.
Not a tree, but a person…
Wi Ilcheong recalled the words he had spoken to Dokgo Ryeong.
Secretly take hold of my little finger.
He had no certainty whether Dokgo Ryeong would actually grasp his little finger.
Truly… she is a difficult woman, Lady Dokgo.
He had lived his entire life with absolute certainty that anyone who spent even a single night with him would stay by his side.
Yet this one woman named Dokgo Ryeong was denying everything he had built up until now.
He himself had promised not to take a virgin first, but now it was Wi Ilcheong who found it harder to endure.
As if she might cross over, or might not.
Watching Dokgo Ryeong torment him so ambiguously left him frustrated.
Approaching from this side first…
Wi Ilcheong clenched his fist tightly and began to walk.
…Yes. Rather than foolishly waiting for the other party to come in this stifling way, it would be better if I go first.
There was no need to wait stupidly.
Wi Ilcheong was certain that Dokgo Ryeong also harbored feelings for him.
The reaction she had shown last night proved it.
The image of Dokgo Ryeong naturally closing her eyes the moment his face drew near made Wi Ilcheong’s heart pound.
Pondering what words he should speak when he got there, he returned to his quarters—
“Ah, Brother Wi. Ryeong Mae says she wants to stay separately for a while?”
“…Pardon?”
He heard something he had never expected.
“S-suddenly?”
“Mm. Brother, you don’t know anything about it?”
“Ah…”
Hearing Baekri Sohyeon’s words, Wi Ilcheong made a troubled face.
“…It seems I made a mistake.”
“What did you do?”
“…I believe I pushed Lady Dokgo too hard. Haa…”
Wi Ilcheong covered his face with both hands and sat down on the floor.
“What am I supposed to do about this…”
“Brother… um…”
Baekri Sohyeon started to say something, then closed her mouth.
“I don’t know what the situation is between you two, so it’s hard for me to say anything. What happened?”
“…That is a bit difficult to discuss. I agreed to keep it a secret with Lady Dokgo.”
“Then… how about you go apologize first?”
“Apologize?”
“Mm. You think you did something wrong, don’t you?”
“…Yes, that is correct.”
“Then go apologize first and try to fix the mistake.”
“Sound reasoning. You are right, Lady Baekri.”
Wi Ilcheong, who had been slumped until just now, sprang to his feet.
“Do you know where Lady Dokgo is?”
“Well. I’m not sure. Why not ask Uncle Divine Doctor?”
“I should do that. I will be going out, Lady Baekri.”
“Mm, come back soon~.”
Watching Wi Ilcheong head outside once more, Baekri Sohyeon let out a small laugh.
“Somehow the two of them are starting to act more and more alike.”
After showing Wi Ilcheong the Heart Sword, Namgung Woncheong went to find Unyeong.
“You have come, Elder? What brings you?”
“I thought I would be on my way soon. The treatment is finished, and I have done everything I needed to do.”
“I see. Please take your medicine diligently, and… um…”
Unyeong’s expression darkened slightly.
“…You should tell your family soon.”
“That there is not much time left? Keu-ha-hat, do they not already know that?”
“Even so, would it not be better to give them room to prepare their hearts in advance?”
“No…”
Namgung Woncheong shook his head.
“It feels like I would only be loading one more burden onto my already troubled son.”
“…As you wish, Elder.”
“Then I shall be off. I am always grateful, Unyeong.”
Namgung Woncheong patted Unyeong’s shoulder as he spoke.
“…I cannot even say ‘see you next time.’”
“Why say something so unsettling?”
“Keu-ha-hat! Growing old seems to make a man sentimental.”
“Since you have already lived this long, why not live until Young Lady Soso’s wedding and then go?”
“I am trying to do just that. Before that, though, do something about Sohong first.”
“As it happens, it seems spring has come for Sohong.”
“Hm?”
Namgung Woncheong looked at Unyeong with interest.
“Who is it? Surely not Wi Ilcheong?”
“No. A fellow named No Geukmyeong, from the Moyong Clan.”
“No Sunpyeong’s son, then. But will that be all right? Dokgo Jin and the Moyong Clan do not get along well at all…”
“What can one do? The grudges of the older generation should be left to the older generation. In the end, the decision is theirs, and we parents must strive not to become obstacles to that choice.”
Unyeong burst out laughing and looked at Namgung Woncheong.
“The head of the Moyong Clan sought me out this time. Once I finish the inner core, I plan to drop by.”
“Hm? That Moyong Byeok fellow?”
“You did not know?”
“Hoo…”
Namgung Woncheong stroked his beard and looked at Unyeong.
“…Even if I try to stop you, you will go, will you not?”
“Of course. You know well enough what kind of man I am.”
“Hmm…”
Namgung Woncheong regarded Unyeong with a peculiar gaze.
It seems this old man’s grave site has already been decided…
“What if I accompany you?”
“…Pardon? You, Elder?”
“I was thinking of getting some fresh air lately anyway… and Liaoning is a rather decent region.”
“I… I would be glad, but… are you certain?”
“Keul-keul-keul. What is so remarkable about one old man going out for a stroll?”
“…You are no ordinary old man.”
“Enough. Who will stop me when I say I wish to go where I please? Tell me once you finish the inner core. I will need to inform the others in advance as well.”
“…Yes.”
Seeing that Namgung Woncheong had already made up his mind, Unyeong could only accept it.
“Hmm… what shall I do to pass the time…”
Watching his back, which somehow looked a little excited, Unyeong simply laughed without knowing a thing.
Leaving his quarters, Wi Ilcheong asked around among the people nearby and went to find Dokgo Ryeong.
“Hoo…”
It was nothing special—just a light meeting, he thought.
It was only a matter of asking why she had suddenly said she wanted to stay separately, of speaking just one light sentence, yet strangely Wi Ilcheong felt tense.
His heart raced, and strength needlessly entered his body.
I will simply ask lightly. And with a single word, gradually open the conversation…
He organized in his head several times how he should begin speaking as he headed toward where Dokgo Ryeong was.
Just then—
Whoosh!
“Ah, fuck… this isn’t working…”
In a wide open clearing, he saw Dokgo Ryeong swinging her saber.
Her usual red hair, and a face tinged with slight irritation because things were not going well.
Yet the moment he saw that ordinary, everyday Dokgo Ryeong, Wi Ilcheong’s steps came to a halt.
“This fucking thing is supposed to go like this…”
Wi Ilcheong simply stared blankly at her as she repeated the same stance over and over, swinging her saber diligently.
How could someone so rough and lively during the day become so meek the moment night fell?
Suddenly recalling what had happened yesterday once more, Wi Ilcheong’s throat went dry.
Back then… if I had said something… or just pushed all the way…
If he had pushed to the end, would Dokgo Ryeong have avoided him?
At the time the atmosphere had carried him and his body had moved naturally, but what about now?
As Wi Ilcheong’s mind grew increasingly complicated and he even forgot why he had come here—
“Hyeek?!”
Dokgo Ryeong suddenly let out a high-pitched scream.
When Wi Ilcheong raised his head, he realized Dokgo Ryeong was looking at him.
“Ah… Lady Dokgo. Forgive me. You seemed absorbed in your training, so…”
“Why… why-why-why… why did you come…?!”
“Am I not allowed to come?”
“Th-that’s not it, but…”
As Dokgo Ryeong’s hair quickly began to take on a pinkish hue, Wi Ilcheong could not help but laugh.
“I feel it every time I see it, but it truly is a lovely hair color.”
“Y-you crazy bastard! Stop talking about it!!”
“Hm? Have I said it before?”
“…You said it in Shandong.”
“Ah…”
When Wi Ilcheong searched his memory, he recalled saying such a thing back in Shandong while discussing with Dokgo Ryeong what love was.
“…Well. Looking at it makes me think it is so pretty so often that there is no way I would not have mentioned it.”
“J-just stop talking about it!”
“Heh. Understood.”
Seeing Dokgo Ryeong’s cheeks flush bright red as she flailed about, Wi Ilcheong felt relieved instead.
Thank goodness. She is the same as usual.
When she had suddenly said she wanted to stay separately, he had worried that perhaps she had grown uncomfortable with him because of yesterday’s events, but seeing her now made him think he had fretted for nothing.
“S-so why did you come…?”
“I heard you said you would stay separately for a while.”
“…Yes.”
“So I was worried something might have happened. But seeing you now, it seems you will be fine.”
“W-what will be fine?”
“Lady Dokgo is the same as always.”
“…”
Feeling as though the lump that had filled his chest had vanished, Wi Ilcheong smiled.
“My worry is resolved, so that is enough. I simply came because I was curious whether you were well.”
“…”
“You have not forgotten what I said, have you?”
“W… what?”
Wi Ilcheong suddenly raised his little finger.
“I will wait. Like a tree.”
“Hiiik?! I… I’m not grabbing it!!”
“Heh heh. Yes. It does not matter if you do not grab it.”
Wi Ilcheong smiled as he faced Dokgo Ryeong.
“I will escort you to Tianzhu no matter what.”
“Hyeek?!”
“And there, I will receive Lady’s first night.”
“Ugh… th-that… hwaa…”
“Then I shall take my leave first. Devote yourself to your training.”
As Wi Ilcheong gradually moved farther away and disappeared from Dokgo Ryeong’s sight, she collapsed to the ground as if crumbling.
“Fuck… this is really driving me crazy…”
How was she supposed to focus on training in this state…
When other thoughts kept flooding in…