Your Gentle Despair (3)
One monster, two monsters, three monsters—
I hummed a little tune to the despair energy pouring off the monsters packing the hallway. I'd thought a monster's despair energy wouldn't do much for me, but with this many of them gathered together, I couldn't help feeling a little giddy.
"Where do you think we should go?"
Grrr—
"Ah, so you think the humans are gathered this way because it's thick with despair? Well... all right."
What I was looking for wasn't humans drowning in despair, but if it was on the way, taking a little taste of that despair as I passed couldn't hurt.
Well then, shall we open the door?
Thud— thud— thud—
Grrrr—
"You want me to help? Honestly, if you keep relying on other people for help, you'll never be able to do anything on your own, you know?"
The real reason was that I just couldn't be bothered to use my power, but still. I wasn't about to waste precious despair energy just to smash a door.
Whether or not my not-quite-persuasion had convinced them, the monsters started pounding on the door with gusto.
Creeeak—
"See? Keep at it and it opens."
Creeak, screeech—
Maybe because they'd broken the door open with their own strength, the monsters let out a cry that almost sounded pleased.
Well then, time to head inside. It seemed this place had been some kind of shelter, but with the door flung wide open like this, you could hardly call it a shelter anymore.
"Monsters."
"What's that in front? A humanoid monster? But I don't remember making anything that inefficient..."
"Is that the one who's been releasing the test subjects?"
I'd opened the door full of anticipation, but all that was inside were humans with the dead-eyed stare of dried fish. Like mad scientists pickled in their own research. At least the Doctor had been fun to mess with. These things weren't fun or moving in the slightest.
I thought they'd be huddled together drowning in despair...
No, no. I'd definitely felt a massive wave of despair on the way here. I wiped the smile off my face and looked at the old men. A strange tension settled over their features.
They're hiding something.
"How interesting. Truly interesting."
Grrr—
I nodded and jerked my chin, and the monsters that had been clustered behind me began filing into the shelter one by one. It almost felt like I'd become the boss of some evil organization.
As the monsters poured in and the humans started backing away, I casually scanned the surroundings.
This shelter is a decoy, and the real one is nearby...
Even this surface-level despair tasted so sweet. What would it be like to devour that despair directly? Among human despair, wouldn't this be the absolute peak of flavor?
Giggling to myself, I turned my head in the direction the despair was pointing.
Here it is.
Thud— thud— thud—!!!
"..."
Tough, isn't it. A few monsters charged in and pounded on the wall, but it didn't even leave a scratch. At this rate, they could hammer at it until they died of old age and still not break through.
I watched the monsters pounding the wall for a while, then let out a long sigh.
"No helping it, I guess."
I'd been trying not to use this. I glanced at the researchers staring at me as I stepped forward, and slowly exhaled. Well, at least I could stop carefully holding my despair in check, so maybe that was a silver lining.
Wooooom—
"That's—"
"Don't tell me it's the same kind as a magical girl—"
"The despair circuit actually exists...?"
As I slowly began spinning my despair circuit, something like gasps of wonder burst out around me. The looks they gave me were like researchers who'd just made the discovery of the century, free of charge.
...Is the despair circuit really that amazing?
In the original work, the only one who had a despair circuit was Apocalypse. I wondered if I'd shown them something I shouldn't have, but then I realized that seeing me was about to become meaningless for them anyway, and slowly curled the corners of my mouth upward.
The pulse of life I felt as the despair circuit moved. That motion that let me feel I was alive made the researchers' eyes around me grow wider and wider.
"Ah, aah, aaaaaaah—!!!"
"G-God... God, oh God, God... God—"
"I don't want to die, I don't want to die, g-guuuuh..."
In that instant, death screams erupted, and the humans present began pouring blood from every orifice in their bodies. I hadn't expected it to be this severe. The humans last time had only had their minds collapse, and they'd held out for a fairly long time, so I'd figured this would wrap up at a similar level.
...I just wanted to scare the humans in the secret shelter a bit and suck up a little despair.
What a shame. I'd been curious what the despair of humans who'd lived long and weathered every storm would taste like, but then this happened all of a sudden.
I let out a deep sigh and swung my arm, and the wall that the monsters hadn't been able to budge no matter how hard they pounded simply crumbled. To avoid repeating the mistake I'd just made, I stopped the spin of the despair circuit the moment the wall fell, and a deep wave of exhaustion washed through my body.
"H-hiiik..."
"She looks about my age...?"
"Maybe she's some kind of magical girl too? There's no way she could smash the bunker wall otherwise."
"Yeah, monsters don't look like that..."
Good thing I'd told the monsters to back off before I smashed the wall. If the monsters had been right next to me, everyone would have been screaming their heads off.
I shot a look at the monsters trying to come into the bunker, and though they hesitated, they gradually started to scatter.
They'll definitely wait nearby or sneak after me. Tch.
I'd tried to shake the monsters that followed me before, but every time I said anything, they'd pretend to leave and then secretly hang around nearby. See? Even now they're clustered together in a spot they think I can't see.
"Um, did you... come to save us...?"
I blinked blankly at the human who asked so carefully. Come to save them? I'd smashed the door—there was no way I'd come to save them. But that didn't seem to be what mattered to the humans inside.
Looking closer, they're all just kids.
From snot-nosed little ones to kids who looked about high school age, they varied, but they had one thing in common: none of them looked like adults. Had they hidden them here because they were their own children?
No, no. That can't be it.
If that were the case, those humans outside wouldn't have been wearing clothes that felt similar to what I'd worn in the Doctor's lab. I'd actually thought these guys might still have some shred of humanity left in them. Looking at the humans who'd died after pouring out every drop of blood in their bodies, I clicked my tongue inwardly.
"H-hyak?!"
"S-she really is a dangerous person, isn't she? They were fine until they locked us up..."
"No. By the time I arrived, they were already about to pass on."
I answered calmly as they screamed at the sight outside the bunker. It wasn't exactly a lie. Anyone could see they were old fogies on their last legs.
"Thank you for saving us."
"I only did what I had to do."
I had done what I had to do. Finding humans who were pouring out despair while hiding was, after all, what a monster was supposed to do. Anyway, because they'd decided on their own that I'd come to save them, the despair was steadily decreasing. No, it wasn't just decreasing—hope was—ugh.
"...I don't trust her."
"Yeah, me neither..."
"Isn't she a weird kid? Like, maybe the monsters sent her...?"
But where there was hope, there was also despair. It wasn't thick despair, but the despair that came from the anxiety that I might not be someone who'd come to save them tasted pretty good.
What if I suddenly turned on them here? The humans who'd found hope looking at me might plunge into despair in an instant.
That might be a bit of a gourmet treat...
Giving something and then taking it away had always been the most fun. Especially if it was hope.
No, no. Let's not. Giving and then taking away is the kind of vicious thing the Doctor would do.
I smiled inwardly imagining the humans drowning in betrayal and despair, then realized that was exactly what the Doctor had done to me, and quickly changed my mind. I couldn't become the same kind of monster as the Doctor. No way, no how.
"Everyone, follow me. I know a path without monsters."
In truth, I was just giving the monsters a look so they'd clear the way, but that alone would be enough to fool these humans. No, thinking about it again, I wasn't even lying in the first place, was I? Since I hadn't actually told any lies, I decided to be bold about it.
"...How are we supposed to believe that? You're just trying to take us to the Doctor, aren't you?"
I'd been listening to what they were saying, and it seemed they thought of me as some underling of that narrow-eyed guy. Granted, I was wandering around fine on my own in an underground lab crawling with monsters, so it was an easy misunderstanding to make. Sure, sure. Our little human is full of suspicion, isn't he.
I was a fairly considerate monster, so I decided to offer a warm word or two for the little human.
"Then you can just stay here."
"..."
At those words delivered in a gentle voice, the other's face went pale. They'd said what they said, but they clearly didn't want to stay here.