Kindly Sorting the Hierarchy
After waiting roughly an hour, the crowd finally reached me.
It was pretty damn irritating.
Would they have dragged their feet like this even if Holan had won?
Just you wait, you bastards.
Every single face screamed disbelief. Holan, who had been riding high on his little victory lap, looked like his soul had left his body.
“S-sis… how? Why? W-why is that bitch even here…?”
“I finished it in ten minutes, just like I said, right?”
I flashed them a deliberate smile.
They stood frozen in confusion or simply sealed their lips in hollow despair.
I waved the flag with obvious pride before stabbing it into the ground.
Stabbing things is something I’m good at. Haa.
“I’d like a little applause, people. Or did you bet money? Lose big? For nobles, you sure act like stingy back-alley merchants.”
Clap, clap-clap. Clap-clap-clap!
They clapped reluctantly.
They were probably praying this was all a dream.
Too bad. It wasn’t. Sucks to be you.
“Kneeling already? Pathetic.”
Arms folded, I swept my gaze over them. Yeah, keep scowling. It’s better than fake smiles.
“Aaaah, Lady Queeeen!”
Winz bounced like an excited child, beaming with joy.
Now that was the proper reaction. Haa. The refreshing soda in my life. Winz!
“My lady, kyaaah! Lady Queen did it! Kyaaaaah!”
Adorably over the top. Like a fangirl meeting her favorite idol.
I wanted to run over and squeeze her, but I had to keep up appearances for now.
Clap, clap, clap.
A heavier round of applause echoed. Blacken approached and offered his congratulations.
“Congratulations, Queen Wednesday. Today you proved it. You can become the head of the house whenever you wish. That you can leave those bitter days behind and show everyone exactly who you are!”
He knelt on one knee with perfect formality.
Because before he was my father, he was the head of the house.
“Thank you, Lord Head. I dedicate today’s glory to you.”
It felt like receiving a knighthood straight from the emperor.
My chest swelled.
Blacken shook his head, eyes gleaming with satisfaction.
“Because of your half-blood constitution, no one expected anything from you. I was no different, and I regret it. But to think you would pass the Wednesday test in such an outrageous way. Even the eccentric fifth head couldn’t have imagined this!”
“I find joy in shattering common sense.”
Blacken nodded firmly. Truly the rare voice of reason in this family.
“Now we should wrap this up. From today onward you will be called the heir apparent, and all that remains is for me to step down. And as for the special—”
“One moment, Father.”
I raised my hand carefully and stood. Blacken tilted his head, puzzled.
Mirinda immediately started foaming at the mouth.
“Heir apparent? Have you lost your mind? What right does she have?”
I ignored her. But the woman must have mixed mint chocolate into her makgeolli, because she suddenly lunged at me.
“I won’t accept this, I refuse, you crazy bitch!”
She charged, arms flailing.
Right before she could reach me, a shadow flashed between us.
Winz.
She grabbed Mirinda’s arm and stared her down, deadly serious.
“Lady Mirinda, I would appreciate it if you maintained some dignity.”
“You filthy maid! Let go! Or do you want to be thrown out?!”
“As an elder of the house, please conduct yourself properly. And don’t misunderstand.”
Winz glanced at me, then fixed Mirinda with another glare.
“I am protecting Lady Mirinda from the future head of the house right now.”
“W-what…?”
“If you had so much as touched her, you would have been the one sliced in half.”
“Y-you…!”
Tears welled in Mirinda’s eyes. She couldn’t even muster the courage to fight back.
She collapsed onto the floor with a pathetic thud.
Disgusting. I hope I never age like that.
Well then. Time for my finishing blow?
I pulled the heirloom from my ring.
The divine sword, Imperial Gaz!
Shing— clang!
“Is this qualification enough, Aunt?”
Everyone froze. The ones who had kept their mouths shut began murmuring in chaos.
“W-wait… that’s—?!”
“That’s Imperial Gaz, isn’t it? Holan couldn’t even get it, but Queen has it?”
“Hey, Queen! Queen! I was a bit harsh before, wasn’t I? Hahaha.”
“Then Queen is the rightful heir. We have to accept it.”
The same people who had treated me like trash and called me an idiot.
Now they either looked like the sky had fallen or started groveling with fake smiles.
People really are filthy. I’m one of them, but I still don’t want to live like that.
Anyway, pulling out Imperial Gaz flipped the mood completely.
I met their stunned, awestruck stares one by one and sneered.
Unbelievable. Truly pathetic.
Whoosh!
I swung Imperial Gaz lightly and spoke to Blacken.
“As I told you before, I have no intention of leading this house.”
Another wave of shock rippled through the crowd. They couldn’t believe I would refuse even after proving my right.
Yeah, I warned you.
There was still more to be surprised about!
At this point they should have built up some immunity to shock.
Blacken sighed.
“I remember that.”
“But the victor’s reward is mine to claim. Holan, you remember the promise? If I win—and especially if I win in ten minutes—you die by my sword.”
I pointed Imperial Gaz at Holan. The dazed fool went deathly pale and started trembling.
He stumbled backward and fell on his ass.
“W-wait! Sis! No, Lady Heir! I-I was wrong!”
“Save the insincere crap.”
I brought the blade closer. Holan’s Adam’s apple bobbed.
Already in full panic, he was crying. Snotty tears dripped down his face.
“I-I really messed up! I didn’t recognize you!”
“Born with decent talent, yet you look this pathetic. What’s the point of being a noble? You’re no better than a goblin—actually worse.”
I laughed openly. Holan dropped to the ground and slammed his forehead against the dirt.
“I was wrong! I was wrong!”
“Fine. I’m a generous woman. So how about licking my feet?”
I kicked off my boots and stuck out my bare foot. Honestly, it felt a little wasteful.
Making a high-class foot like this get licked. This should cost money.
Holan flinched. For a split second, humiliation flashed across his face. Still hadn’t learned.
“What? Don’t like the smell?”
“N-no! I’ll do it! Please let me!”
Sniffling, Holan crawled closer. He gently took my foot in both hands.
His whole body was shaking. I could feel the tremors through my skin.
Pretty damn satisfying.
Looking down at my foot, Holan hesitantly stuck out his tongue.
The worm-like tongue finally dragged across my sole.
“Hek, heeek… shhhup!”
I grinned wickedly and egged him on.
“Oh my, that tickles. Can’t you do it more sticky and hot?”
“Y-yes! Heeek, heeek.”
“Huhu, licking like a real dog, huh? From now on you’re my dog, Holan.”
“Yesh…!”
“You really want to live, don’t you? If it were me, I’d bite my tongue and die.”
“N-no, I want to live, heeek!”
I looked around at the family members. Every one of them had twisted expressions and lowered heads.
Like they were witnessing a legendary tyrant or shadow lord descend to punish mortals.
They all trembled.
I watched Holan licking between my toes and shrugged.
On a whim, I shoved my foot straight into his mouth.
Shove!
“Gueeegh, kek…!”
“What are you going to do from now on? Say it.”
I pulled back slightly. Holan coughed, then barely managed to speak.
“Kuhup! I-I won’t act up again, sis. No, Lady Heir! I swear I won’t!”
“When you were calling me a brain-dead bitch and threatening to send me to the red-light district, where was that energy? How ridiculous.”
I glared. Even without a millstone, there were plenty of ways to crush him.
He desperately licked between my toes, trying to show loyalty.
“I must have gone insane. I’m sorry. Please forgive me! Please forgive your foolish little brother just this once!”
The desperation was worthy of a loyal retainer trying to save a nation. That was how heavy the meaning of Imperial Gaz was.
Just like only the World Cup winner could lift the trophy.
I deliberately let out a laugh and gave Holan another order.
“Higher.”
“…Yes?”
“Lick higher. And call me Your Majesty.”
“K-kgh… Yes, Your Majesty. Heeek, heeeek!”
Holan licked my foot, then my ankle, then slowly worked his way up my leg and calf.
If this continued, he might reach my thigh… and beyond. Heh.
Then Winz suddenly burst forward, panting.
“No! Th-that part is my job! My lady, please!”
Everyone’s eyes snapped to Winz. She perked her ears, realized what she’d said, and quickly backed away.
Cute.
Finally, Blacken stepped in.
“Well then, today’s matter ends here. Queen, will you leave right away?”
“My answer is…”
Blacken asked, clearly trying to be considerate.
I gave him a meaningful smile and took my time.
My real life starts now!