My Comrade's Lower Body Pitched a Tent
The former rank 1, the lone wolf Kang Jinho who used to smash boss heads by himself.
Now it wants me to gather party members? And ones to "protect the fragile me"?
"Like hell. Am I crazy enough to form a party with those burly tank bastards I used to boss around, hearing 'noona' and 'unnie' instead of 'hyung'...?!"
I jabbed a finger at the air, irritation boiling over.
Just as I was about to dismiss the system window spouting such bullshit.
But the ranker's gaze, efficient to the bone, unconsciously stopped at the [Party Effect] section.
'......20% bonus to all stats? That's beneficial.'
In that instant my pupils shook wildly.
A 20% boost to all stats. Something I'd never seen even in my ranker days. A truly unprecedented cheat buff. And it even throws in extra stat missions?
"Haah... The part that's fucking annoying. Underline it thick."
I let out a deep sigh and pressed a hand to my slender forehead where the silver hair flowed softly down.
Past dignity versus the overwhelming 20% stat buff right now. The pride of the former rank 1 crumbled pathetically before that insane cost-performance ratio.
"Right. With 20% to all stats, I have no choice. Survival comes before my dignity. Haah, damn... Fuck."
For a hunter climbing the tower, the most important thing is stats. First, stats. Second, stats.
I clutched my throbbing chest and exhaled a long sigh.
"First, let's save that beast bastard who's passed out with his head in the flowerbed."
I roughly wiped the blood pooled at my lips with the back of my hand and approached Taeseok sprawled on the floor. The sight of him passed out with blood gushing from his nose like a fountain was ridiculous.
In my past life we'd been like balls buddies, scrubbing each other's backs in the sauna. The guy was practically family.
Normally I'd have grabbed him by the collar and slapped his cheeks awake, but the sensation at my fingertips made me freeze.
'Ugh, damn heavy... Huh?'
The chest transmitted through my palm was no joke. Compared to my old body it didn't lose out. Rock-hard pectorals. Biceps bulging as if about to tear through the thin short-sleeved t-shirt. That suffocating heat and thick body odor mixed with sweat hit me hard.
'Gulp.'
Unconsciously, dry saliva went down my throat. Have I gone mad? Kang Jinho. What kind of reaction am I showing while touching a guy's body? Goosebumps rose all over me.
I quickly shook my head and tapped his cheek.
Smack smack.
"Hey, Kim Taeseok! Snap out of it, you bastard! ...Ugh, crazy. This guy's not breathing!"
Did he go into shock from losing too much blood? Irritation surged, but I couldn't let the main tank who'd rolled with me for ten years in the abyss dungeon die at our doorstep.
No choice. I squeezed my eyes shut.
'Whoa, it's just camaraderie! Camaraderie! Stat correction!'
I lifted his solid jaw, pinched his nose, and pressed my lips to his.
Peck, smooch.
"Huff, huff... Hah, hah... Live, you son of a bitch."
My soft lips repeatedly touched and parted from his rough, thick ones. It should have felt like shit, but every time our lips met a chilling current ran up my spine. Every time his unfamiliar rough breath pushed into my mouth my frail heart pounded, thump, thump.
As I continued the artificial respiration a few times, the moment I pressed on his chest—
Swish-.
Below my gaze, Taeseok's crotch, which I thought was unconscious, swelled up with terrifying force.
"...?"
I flinched. It wasn't just pitching a tent. A ridiculously huge pillar was rising straight toward my thigh, as if about to tear through the jeans. He wasn't not breathing. The moment my lips touched, this crazy bastard had been holding his breath and enjoying the perverted situation with his whole body!
"You... you horny bitch."
"Hup...!"
"Just die one more time, you mutt on aphrodisiacs!!"
"Kkyaaaaah-!!"
My full-swing kick filled with rage struck mercilessly toward his raised vital point.
Thud-!
Father, who had been watching the chaotic scene from the living room, held his stomach and laughed heartily.
"Hahaha! Young folks are so healthy from the morning. No need to worry about our daughter getting married. Yep, a man's lower body is life!"
"Dear... Our son, son...! Gurk."
Mother foamed at the mouth and fainted a second time.
No, why is father really like that!
Eventually, with tears welling up, I dragged Taeseok, clutching his crotch, outside.
There was no way there'd be women's clothes to wear right away. I threw on a large black hoodie shirt, size 105, that I used to enjoy wearing in the past and came out roughly.
"Noona... Sob, go easy. I really... thought my junior was gonna burst."
"Shut up and follow. Before I put a hole in your face. We need to buy underwear first."
Taeseok followed with a sulky face. We entered the bustling street.
But the more we walked, the gazes pouring from all directions stuck painfully sharp.
'What?'
Taeseok thought they were looking because of his 2m frame, coughed and walked with shoulders tensed, but it was a complete misconception.
Only after seeing my reflection in the shop window did I realize why.
A large oversized shirt fitted for an adult male body. Inside, a petite and slender figure that looked like it would break if tapped. Every step the shirt neckline slipped down, exposing pale collarbones and shoulder lines precariously. Decisively, because the shirt length covered the thighs, it became a perfect 'bottomless' fashion as if wearing nothing below.
The long, pure white bare legs shone dazzlingly under the midday sunlight. That appearance was truly... to anyone, the lethal beautiful girl wearing her boyfriend's clothes.
'Shit, dopamine's going crazy.'
It should have been shameful. Trying to overcome the situation by singing the national anthem in my head, but strangely a tingling thrill ran up my spine. Every time the explicit gazes touched my bare skin my lower abdomen heated up. This unknown pleasure making my whole body burn hot.
Is my body set as a pervert constitution that gets excited by gazes? Or is the [Peerless Beauty (EX)] trait even remodeling my brain hormones into female?
I gritted my teeth and ignored the crazy constellation bastards' chat messing up my vision. I dashed into the lingerie store in front of me as if fleeing.
Ding-a-ling-.
"Welcome... Oh my!"
As soon as I entered the store, the strong fabric softener and rose scent wafted over, and flashy women's underwear filled all around.
"Oh my my, with your petite fairy-like figure, this cute lace design would be perfect!"
The clerk smiled brightly and held out in front of my nose palm-sized scraps of cloth. A bra with colorful pink ribbon lace dangling.
Ha, fuck. I really wanted to bite my tongue and die right there. The rank 1 macho Kang Jinho who used to split abyss boss monster heads. Pink ribbon lace underwear!
"Oh... noona. If you wear that, it'd be really super cute. Suits you well."
Taeseok, who had approached closely from behind, grinned and took out his wallet.
"Should I buy it for you? Let's go with this for panties. Wow, these white lace panties with holes all over are so lewd. Perfect for noona."
This crazy bastard had crossed the line way over. If he buys panties for me, I should buy panties for him too? If we both buy lots of panties there'd be extra panties at home? Then we'd have to sell them. I can't sell panties, I'm rank 1. Especially holey panties are a bit hard to sell.
"Have you gone mad, you crazy bastard! Since when are you my boyfriend buying holey panties!"
Shame reaching its peak, I lost reason and threw a punch toward his chin. In my past life this sandbag-like guy would flinch and close his eyes tight even if my punch just grazed the wind.
But—
Thud-!
"...Huh?"
Taeseok's thick hand lightly, in one go, snatched my thin wrist swinging through the air.
I flinched. I looked up in panic. The 2m giant standing with ceiling lights behind him. Taeseok's broad shoulders cast a huge shadow completely swallowing my small body.
"Noona. Hitting is fine, but don't hit with bare hands. You'll get hurt."
"What... what do you mean..?"
"Noona, right now, your wrist is so thin it looks like it'd break if I apply a little strength. Sorry for hurting you."
Taeseok's large thumb carefully rubbed the inside of my white wrist where the pulse beat. The rough, hot sensation transmitted tingling through the skin.
Thump-!
This guy... since when was he this strong? No, since when did that huge frame look so... breathtakingly reliable?
Crazy. Kang Jinho, snap out of it. That bastard is balls buddy. My best friend who went to PC bangs and saunas with me!! A fucking big problem, you son of a bitch.